Brian Burns @briantburns_ Twitter profile

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

“She is ON one,” I would say, had I been alive in the 1420s and met Joan of Arc.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

Me, only ever working three (3) days a week.

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 months

Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 months

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

Me, in high school, explaining to my parents how I was being bullied without admitting in the process that I was gay

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Happy birthday to my mother, seen here begging John Mayer’s manager for a photo on the streets of New York in 2005.

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

Margaret Thatcher, in Hell, watching season four of The Crown....

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

When Miranda was like, “You can’t quit your column—it’s who you are” and Carrie was like, “No, it’s not who I am, it’s what I do”.......THAT was the labor movement...

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Now watching this Youtube video of a group of homosexuals playing Uno as the news broke on TV that Princess Diana died....

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

It doesn’t matter if you love him, Or capital H-A-I-M

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

Bar none: the tweet of the decade.

Madonna

@Madonna

9 years

This ❤️ #rebelheart had a dream! http://t.co/PIwcwosS2G

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

Chloë Sevigny is naming her baby... A) Stanton B) Rivington C) Delancey D) Broome

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

She could easily be a Hadid, a Jenner, a Baldwin...soullessly cashing in on being the child of someone world famous...and yet....she doesn’t....the coolest, hottest girl!!!! Ever!!! Happy birthday!!!!!

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

Reasons to love Geminis: - Childlike sense of wonder - Chaotic in a constructive way - Don’t hold on too tightly to their convictions - Always changing - Social!! - Sexy!!!!! - Naomi Campbell, Patti LaBelle, Nicole Kidman, etc

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

10 months

The most “first-term Obama-era” movie of all time…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 months

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

9 months

Some thoughts about its future: - Middle-aged writers should be writing these middle-aged characters - Bring back some incidental music! PLEASE! It’s too quiet!!! - Decide if Che is supposed to be embarrassing - Remember that Carrie is the main character - Set it in 2005

Pop Base

@PopBase

9 months

‘And Just Like That...’ has been renewed for Season 3.

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

6 months

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 year

Madonna and Guy Ritchie 😍

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

9 months

???

adis

@adpo97

9 months

luca guadagnino and pedro almodovar are polar opposites (gay director obsessed with beautiful men and gay director obsessed with beautiful women)

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 year

Was bitchy to a visitor this weekend who, I’d come to find out, was quite literally grieving…truly a rule to live by…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

I have a LOT of thoughts but for starters: - Love that Madonna has fully leaned into Maharaja Of Boca Raton, aesthetically - Gaga’s tan could save lives - SISTERHOOD IS POWER - If ever a remake of ALL ABOUT EVE proved necessary... - If they’re blonds, I’m a blond

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Just ran into Amy Sherman-Palladino in Prospect Park!! She is so cool!!!

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

Never has there been a hotter couple.....NEVER......

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

WHERE are they??!?

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

If Truth Hurts can go #1 after being released two years ago, it’s not too late for this bop

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Wearing my little SJP t-shirt and the older lady who rang me out at Whole Foods just now asked, “Oh, I love your shirt—is that your girlfriend?”

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Mayer!!!!!!!!

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

11 months

First day back at work in a week and a half…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

7 months

Rachel McAdams said:

Film Updates

@FilmUpdates

7 months

Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Seyfried and Lacey Chabert reprise ‘MEAN GIRLS’ roles for new Walmart ad.

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

7 months

Okay, hubba hubba…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

23 days

Happy birthday to Kristine—my mother, seen here on The Rosie O’Donnell Show circa 1999. I have worshipped many bold, brash, forthright, larger than life women in my life…but it’s all gotta start somewhere 💚

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

7 months

Clinton Hill Dads showing up for their pre-schoolers’ Halloween parade…Images of Masculinity, etc etc…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Me hearing about “Lillibet”.....

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 year

A moment from Kim Cattrall that’s, truly, nothing less than masterful…maybe one of my very favorite scenes of hers from the whole series…❤️‍🩹

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

8 months

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

25 days

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

8 months

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 month

Not “feeling it” today…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

Screen time down 20% this week...

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Me and Austin watching any scene with Mare’s daughter.......

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

6 years

Glenda? It's Laurie. ...Laur-ie! I'm fine. ...FINE! ...I'M FINE! I have some good news...Roseanne was canceled...I said Roseanne was canceled...It’s CANCELED! ...The show is GONE! ...THE SHOW’S DEAD! ...It’s DEAD! ...NO, DEAD!!!! DEEEEEEAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!!

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

When anemic sickly little Bushwick boys have vibrant, healthful, gorgeous mothers......try being a little more normal...I beg of you....look at your genetic potential....come on....

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

When Sade’s “By Your Side” starts playing at the end of the 13th episode of the 4th season of Sex and the City…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

The REAL reason we’re going to war…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

11 months

JFK’s grandson’s little spiel here about hating restaurants…two minutes of being a captive audience to an opinionated brown haired straight boy being very intense…where am I, a Jamaica Plain apartment in 2015????!!?

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

This text from the owner of a dog I used to walk.......it’s too....🤧....it’s too much......🤧......🤧

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 months

Rebecca Ferguson in Dune 2 😍

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

The woman next to me on this Amtrak recorded a 6-minute-long video on her phone of our arrival into Philadelphia…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

Me, an Apple Music user, sharing my “2021 Replay” a couple days from now…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

All the front-facing-video comedy girls better be shaking right now..............

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

11 months

Going to a Yankees game today…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Um.........

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

A reminder that Lourdes could easily be a Bella Hadid or a Kendall Jenner or a Hailey Baldwin and yet chooses to not even have a public social media presence and THAT? Is why she’s cooler than ALL OF YOU.

Madonna

@Madonna

5 years

Madame ❌. Seeks her daughters approval #crave #mothersday

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

I'm in the New York Times! I'm in Modern Love! Recalling the night I thought I'd meet Fran Lebowitz and instead met a motorcycle-riding 70something. My only hope is that Fran reads this and SCOFFS!

It Wasn’t Me He Wanted (Published 2019)

He was over 70. I was 22. We both loved Fran Lebowitz. What was I doing on the back of his motorcycle?

www.nytimes.com

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 year

Verrrrrry Allston/Brighton.

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Self-esteem should not exist.....

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 month

Two different coworkers disclosed kind of major secrets with me yesterday…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Bill Hader in Skeleton Twins......how’d he do that.......how’d he play gay better than gays.....right under our noses......we could never.....

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

💕💞💓💗💖💘💝💘💖💗💓💞💕

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 months

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

A 13-year-old boy just asked for a “latte” on the cafe car of this Amtrak and the lady behind the counter said, “I’ll put some milk in it and you can call it that...”

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

Me, waiting for the J at Myrtle-Broadway.

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

THIS is an ally, people! Take notes!!!

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

7 years

me, getting new york times push notifications about trump in january vs. me, getting new york times push notifications about trump in may.

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

10 months

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Jungle Emergencies

@Neil_McNeil

3 years

huh, cool story about a straight white man killing a gay guy but go off I guess

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

The way this was snubbed for Record of the Year.........

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

Does it count as “redistribution of wealth” if I steal this exposed bottle of Adderall from inside this guy’s Buzzfeed branded backpack.........?

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 months

Madonna writing a letter to 12-year-old Gwyneth Paltrow urging her to stop smoking cigarettes….THIS is my origin story…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

8 months

Madonna and her Evita co-stars singing songs by The Carpenters…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 year

@Madonna Everybody for the opening number is the ONLY option!!! Back to the beginning, baby!!!!

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

Okay.........what the hell kind of name was “Roald” “Dahl”.....?

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

The very MYTH of America rests stably on Kim Kardashian’s shoulders…a post-war abundance of spirit…sheer American Excellence…I’m serious…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 months

Sarah Jessica, a poet!!!! I gasped!

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 year

This Pier 1 Everything Must Go liquidation sale quick drag…

Florence Pugh Monthly

@bestofpugh

1 year

BUZZCUT FLORENCE PUGH AT THE MET GALA

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

Madonna watching Running Up That Hill climb the charts…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 year

Madonna, on set of Evita, Mother’s Day 1996.

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

5 years

Pete, what can I say besides......you’ve got my vote! 🇺🇸

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

Miranda after smugly asserting she doesn’t believe in God to her grieving friend…

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

My cultural predictions for a Biden-era America: - The return of Lena Dunham - With “nothing” for neolibs to resist: the end of the culture wars - Twitter goes the way of Facebook - Debilitating identity crisis for SNL - Skinny jeans revival - Still no new music from Rihanna

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

4 years

I’m a Warren* Democrat. *Lesley Ann Warren

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

6 years

“The Nutrient-Rich Bitch,” an ongoing series.

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

8 months

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

6 years

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Okay look at how coy these sneakers are being....🤧🥰

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

2 years

On this July 4th, and every other, a reminder that Madonna’s cover of American Pie is maybe the most exquisite music recording…of ALL time…her voice at its most beautiful…sounding like the very hum of the universe itself…don’t deny yourself the pleasure…🗽

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

3 years

Putting together a spreadsheet of all the cute boys my boyfriend follows on TikTok...

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Brian Burns

@briantburns_

1 year

Just saw Aftersun…

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