Brendon Walsh @brendonwalsh Twitter profile

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Brendon Walsh

19 days

Afternoon Delight: Sunday 4/28 at 4:20pm at the High Low bar in Los Angeles! Live stand up comedy and crank phone calls with guests @lizzycooperman & @BillyWayneDavis 😃 GET TICKETS!

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Last Seen Profiles

@CONROESOFTBALL

@_OverCees

@cegcyuno

@creatinget

@kerberos_lol

@al_mustizz

@ParolesDHonneur

@NexusSFD

@TheWelshDragon9

@chiba_yuto_bb

@ScottVikings

@ShinKeru

@hunxho

@PNacionalJoven

@sheaknys64106

@EaglecrestHoops

@maikroservice

@banana_child

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@Kelly_P_Johnson

@franzkendo_

@CumDumpNeighbor

@PorvenirOficial

@3web3io

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@sporttvportugal

@helical_poke

@mathberz

@McCainJack

@TennisBluejay

@mathberz

@its_Vicky5

@vfxfruit

@its_Vicky5

Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Hugh Jackman and Gene Hackman should trade last names.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Ever been so depressed you didn't even change the channel when "Two and a Half Men" came on?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

2 years

Gonna take my kids to see that gay Buzz Lightyear movie to turn them gay

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

If Joe Biden loses to Donald Trump in November, I will eat a plate of dog shit.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

At least he didn't fuck it!

The Mirror

@DailyMirror

6 years

Priest slaps crying baby hard across cheek during baptism shocking parents

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Why isn't STOP MAKING PLASTIC ever on the table?

StanceGrounded

@_SJPeace_

4 years

This man is playing fetch with a Beluga Whale. This is INCREDIBLE. ❤️ We honestly don't deserve these Majestic Creatures. 😭 Protect them at all costs. PLEASE STOP USING PLASTIC

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

If you think about it, Republicans are like the violent alcoholic fathers of the country, Democrats are our manipulative over protective mothers, and the American people are the schizophrenic kids secretly thinking about burning down the house!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

If you see me out, know that I just want to go home and watch my shows.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

Today I learned that there are no U.S. cities that have both Chili's and Outback Steakhouse.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

10 years

. @DrOz #ThisCouldBeUsButYouPlayin http://t.co/iQUV9r4toV

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

The only thing the Steelers blocked so far all season

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

10 years

Why include those texts on your billboard for cell phone service? #smh http://t.co/VVzrBroitP

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Two of the least funny people I know are comedians. The funniest person I know is a construction worker.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

“It's Easier to Fool People Than It Is to Convince Them That They Have Been Fooled.” – Mark Twain

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

You don't have to agree with cosby but the mob can't make me not love him. We are both dragon energy. He is my brother. I love everyone. I don't agree with everything anyone does. That's what makes us individuals. And we have the right to independent thought.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

I just discovered Crow's Milk. It's so delicious and chock full of nutrients! It's the best bird milk I've ever had, hands down. Make it your new years resolution to try Crow's Milk!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

"Let's just put a brick on the gas pedal and see what happens" - The United States of America

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

8 years

Every single thing every corny old motherfucker told you when you were in your 20's is true as fuck.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

FACT: Trump's wife is named Melania. FACT: Obama has a daughter named Melania. FACT: Not one news outlet has mentioned this once. What are they covering up?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

I actually had a rib ADDED so I would STOP sucking my dick. cc: @marilynmanson

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Who are the best comedians to follow for information about Covid-19?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

How much pussy do you think Alex Trebek gets?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

Not funny??? Try a career in stand up comedy!!!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

10 months

Whoa I just found Bigfoot’s IUD

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

My anus hurts. I think I have craphole tunnel syndrome.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

My grandma's tits should win a #SagAward BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Here are some band names that are so bad they piss me off: The Brian Jonestown Massacre The Dandy Warhols Foxygen Car Seat Headrest Soccer Mommy Bowling For Soup Save Ferris Add some of your own below

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

We're wiping cum on each other

Minh Ngo

@minhtngo

5 years

Caption this. 😳 (Official White House Photo by Joyce Boghosian)

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

Making a documentary about the people who watched both #FyreFest documentaries.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Please sign this petition to make @toddbarry stop doing comedy. Thank you.

Sign the Petition

Make Todd Barry Quit Comedy and Stop Tweeting

www.change.org

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

8 years

DUDES ONLY: Wouldn't it be cool if they made bags of 'girlfriend food' or 'wife food' like they make dog food? You just fill up their bowl!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Will I get Covid-19 if I haven't seen Covids 1-18?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

9 years

If motorcycles are legal, is it legal for me to walk through neighborhoods yelling "here I come!" through a bullhorn over and over again?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

2 years

I make "fuck you" money, but the "fuck you" is directed at me

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

Remember when your other pig-demon child tortured and killed a stray dog?

Gov. Mike Huckabee

@GovMikeHuckabee

6 years

Bigotry. On the menu at Red Hen Restaurant in Lexington VA. Or you can ask for the “Hate Plate”. And appetizers are “small plates for small minds”

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

If you live in Los Angeles, are in high school, and want beer, wine, or liquor, tweet to me and I will buy it for you (for a small fee)

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

Remember: anything is possible if you have rich parents.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

I've eaten at every single @littlecaesars location in America.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Gender reveals are a low IQ activity.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

2 years

My doctor said I have to wear this for 2 weeks

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

The head of the Los Angeles Health Department

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

I only like Mumford & Sons, Lumineers, Of Monsters & Men type music. Bands with 100 members wearing overalls, yelling "hey!" all at once.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

2 years

I'm back, baby!!!!!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

I have a very close friend who works for a major medical research company. I asked her about what we can be doing beyond self-isolation, etc, and she had some very important information. She gave me permission to share our messages on social media (1/x)

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

1 year

I’m a bird watcher, but I only look at their dicks

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Earthquake, then extra terrestrial visitors by Friday. If I'm wrong, I'll live stream myself eating a plate of dog shit.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

My account was suspended for saying Tomi Lahren's parents raised a moronic cunt.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

9 months

LOS ANGELES STORM ALERT Here’s what to do to prepare for Hurricane Hilary: -bring pets inside -do diarrhea in toilet. Flush -if diarrhea doesn’t flush, scoop into bag -put diarrhea bag outside -let rain wash diarrhea bag away -do not put your address on diarrhea bag (cont’d)

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

No line at @Spencers , if you need to stock up on supplies (Bob Marley posters, lava lamps, dick straws, etc)

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

If u clap when a server drops dishes in a restaurant, u should be thrown down a flight of stairs & banned from going to restaurants forever.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

I just found out I look exactly like John Wayne Gacy. So how's your Saturday going?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

The director is like "Salami biting scene, take one! Action! Wait cut cut cut cut! Don't bite that salami." And the dude is like "as you wish." #BTSSalamiBitingFakeOut #7

The Tonight Show

@FallonTonight

4 years

👀

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

@katiemaryrich you don't have anything to apologize for. This is ridiculous

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

When I turned 18, my dad gave me a photo album filled with pictures of him sticking each toothbrush I ever owned up his ass.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

3 years

Me and Eric are putting on a pot of coffee and we're going to figure this out. TONIGHT. We're in the White House. Sleepy Joe is in a cheap motel where he belongs.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Dr. Sleep looks scary af

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

I'm a dumb asshole who doesn't know right from wrong and lacks empathy. What are some good Twitter threads I can read to help me change?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

@chelseaperetti Ryan SAXcrest 😉

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

Priest takes 8 year-old's penis out of his mouth to say Harry Potter books are evil.

TIME

@TIME

5 years

"Harry Potter" books removed from Catholic school library after priest rules the spells are real, could manifest "evil spirits"

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

Haven't they been through enough? Keep your shitty music to yourself!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

Fuck this guy

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

I just masturbated and shot this into the sky!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

Follow @SalVulcano for some serious drama going on right now!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

I have "fuck you" money, except the "fuck you" is directed towards me.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

2 years

"Mommy isn't here, so we can say whatever the 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 we want." @ITYSL

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

Your son tortured and killed a stray dog.

Gov. Mike Huckabee

@GovMikeHuckabee

6 years

After seeing the young female hired to verbally bully anyone who worked for @realDonaldTrump I now understand why eating Tide Pods is popular. That level of vulgarity is best handled with a mouth washed out w/ soap. Have some more Tide Pods.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

My daughter received a very rude gift in the mail from @toddbarry . I'm mad at her for wearing it.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

NOBODY WATCH THIS

Deadline Hollywood

@DEADLINE

7 years

. @ComedyCentral developing ‘Weird Uncles’ starring Brendon Walsh & Randy Liedtke

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Is this because they didn't ask you to sing "Imagine"?

Josh Gad

@joshgad

4 years

It’s okay to cry.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

2 years

Getting my kids under 5 vaccinated at a drag show

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

8 years

Have Nicholas Cage and John Travolta swapped faces with that app yet?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

8 years

Steph Curry celebrates tonight's win by stuffing 8 mouthguards in his mouth.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

My cousin contracted Covid-19 from eating ass

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

1 year

I heard that @toddbarry is opening an anti-joke comedy club

NEWSMAX

@NEWSMAX

1 year

Podcast host Joe Rogan officially opened the doors to his anti-woke comedy club in Austin, Texas.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

Ready to be parents! #Fidgetspinners

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

Hey everyone, just want to let my voice be heard about the #heatscam currently happening in Los Angeles. The lamestream media is reporting a "heatwave" but it's probably about 50 degrees. @GavinNewsom is under the air conditioning industry's control! @duncantrussell

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

Day 5 of sobriety: only had two beers & a vodka soda! Feels great!

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

10 years

#RIP http://t.co/emTQhxsvtf

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

My dad invented the word Toyotathon. That's why I'm rich.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

Welp, about to take the most stressful shit ever.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

1 year

This has been intentionally ignored by every major news source. Why?

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

8 years

Reptilian presidential candidate Ted Cruz giving praise to The Lord while eating a rodent.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

Check it out. I just finger-blasted Donald Trump! 😎😎😎😎✌

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

I think @TVGuide nailed it. #TopTenTVShowsOfTheDecade

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

8 months

Forgot to post this yesterday

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

I wonder what Jeffrey Epstein is doing right now.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

I want an open casket, open eyes funeral.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

2 years

@toddbarry These cites haven't seen this much bombing since World War 2

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

Wait, so making phone calls to crooked politicians didn't work? Dang.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

Condolences to @duncantrussell who lost his best friend Jeffrey Epstein yesterday.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

2 years

If a baby dies before it gets baptized it goes to hell. It's that simple.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

3 years

This is so FUCKED

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

Getting replies from people saying they have both a Chili's and an Outback Steakhouse in their town. To clarify, both restaurants can't operate within the same city limits, so there can be one in the city and one in a suburb, but never both in the same place! (think zip codes)👍

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

7 years

Another Hollywood big shot bites the dust

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

6 years

This is the dumbest thing I ever read. Are you 10 years old?

Ana Navarro-Cárdenas

@ananavarro

6 years

You know guys, the idea of Aretha Franklin and John McCain hanging out together in the Freshman section of heaven, kinda makes me smile.

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

5 years

Why hasn't this come up in a single newspaper or talk show? I find it very odd...

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Brendon Walsh

@brendonwalsh

4 years

All the psychos complaining that small businesses are being destroyed need to STFU. You can get EVERYTHING you need at Walmart and Amazon so stop whining.

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