Sarah B. @bartsnz Twitter profile

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

8 days

I’m starting a charter school teaching dogs how to be consultants. Cellphones allowed. BYO lunch. Gunna be super rich.

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@tom_blatch

Sarah B.

@bartsnz

4 months

Just pondering on how New Zealand’s Air Force has a flightless bird as its symbol. We are not a serious country.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@PresElectBiden @POTUS @JoeBiden @FLOTUSBiden @SenKamalaHarris @SecondGentleman @Transition46 Can Champ and Major please get an official Twitter too? 💙💙

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

8 months

If you’re ever feeling down, just remember that there are dogs. 🥰

WeRateDogs

@dog_rates

8 months

This is Bailey. She does this dance when she's happy. Which is often. 13/10

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

I saw Michael J. Fox was trending, and got worried. But it turned out to be good news. Long live Doc Brown and Marty McFly! "If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything."

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

This is a fantastic photo of Jacinda Ardern at Harvard.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

I don’t live that far away from the Beehive so out of an abundance of caution I have made Orca a little tinfoil hat.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@FLOTUS You & your husband have already brought so much calm and hope to so many. Thank you! 💙

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

The true owners of Twitter in our hearts, Jorts and Jean.

Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Shhhhh

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

At least we know Luxon has spoken to one expert in youth offending.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

Much to love in this photo of the Beehive bunker National Crisis Management Centre. Everyone wearing masks, one guy with computer wallpaper of his dog, another guy with 3 cups of coffee at his elbow, but mainly all these "bureaucrats" working so hard to keep us safe. CHUR!

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

I've lived in Welly my whole life. Went to school at Wtgn Girls in Thorndon. Have worked at a cafe in Molesworth St, the National Library, and Parliament. I have NEVER seen those places close due to the public and workers being abused. This protest is NOT peaceful. 😠

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

I just watched Jacinda Ardern on the Colbert Show and was reading the YouTube comments. Loved this one. Cheers cuz! 👍

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

I just realised that Jonesy in Aliens looks like Jorts. I think you’d do well in space @JortsTheCat but please don’t leave us.🧡

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

Do these foolish white men really think they will do themselves any favours by calling Pelosi, Clinton, and VP Harris as witnesses? Yeeeeeah, good luck with that strategy. Morons.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

PM Chippy gets a close-up view of the real disaster that Auckland is facing right now.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Just one more note on the reach & relevancy of Dr Siouxsie Wiles and David Seymour.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Okay, yup, they are officially wearing tin foil hats in Camp Covid. Guys, I can’t. Let’s just deal with this in the morning over coffee and hot x buns. #WellingtonFightsBack #EndtheProtest

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Chantelle Baker saying “It literally looks like a war zone” as she walks past one knocked over plastic chair, a pot plant, and some spilt milk. 🙄🙄🙄 #EndtheProtest

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

It’s good when men know their place.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

9 months

Correct response.

Thomas Coughlan

@coughlthom

9 months

David Seymour says Kate Sheppard would have voted for Act. Julie Anne Genter, sitting beside him, literally puts her head in her hands.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@WeAreAllOther @HillaryClinton Kamala Harris, 49th Vice President of the United States. 💙🇺🇸

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

You know what would make this a Super Sunday? Arresting Brian Tamaki for breaching bail conditions. 😀

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Chris Luxon just said "Well, we're now through Covid." Holy shit! Did you guys know that? IT'S OVER! HURRAH HUZZAH! No more Covid anywhere on planet Earth. Wow. I thought there would have been a memo or something.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

@MuellerSheWrote

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 months

RIP @efesocollins Thank you for your work, your words, your wisdom. This is from his maiden speech to Parliament just last week. (You can watch it or read the full transcript here: )

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Abortion in NZ was only removed from the Crimes Act in March 2020. The vote was 68-51. Before that access to abortion was through a legal loophole and it was a dehumanising rigmarole. Laws, funding, and access to services can be changed. Remember that. #AbortionIsHealthcare

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

I think the bird is on strike until the engineers are rehired. #TwitterDown

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

As people start to eulogise Simon Bridges' political career, please remember he voted AGAINST marriage equality, legalising abortion, and banning conversion therapy. Yaks are more open minded.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

LOL Martin Devlin just blocked me for posting a photo of John Key with the All Blacks in response to whinging about Jacinda Ardern hanging with the Black Ferns. 😂🤣 @martindevlinnz CRY MOAR. We'll just be out here celebrating! #LikeABlackFern

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

When your divorced parents pretend not to hate each other on big family occasions.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

Big Bird wasn’t the only legend promoting vaccines in the 1970s. 💉💉🥰

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Congratulations to Toto Albanese on becoming Top Dog of Australia, and for being the goodest girl. #auspol

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

Bat is now polling higher than Judith Collins as preferred PM.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

NZ Twitter - We DO know how lucky we are... 🤣

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

Chippy and Wood are all of us right now.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

6 months

“The real chaos would be you trying to deal with Winston Peters and David Seymour round a cabinet table, they’d be running circles around you.” - Chippy to Luxon in the last leader’s debate.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

The NZ Herald AND NewstalkZB have now removed all sign of the extremely poorly researched Siouxsie Wiles documentary beat-up hit piece. I wonder how Jason Walls' day is going? JK. I don't care.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

8 months

This Tom Scott cartoon of Winston Peters is from 1993. Look how far we’ve come.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Chris Luxon believes that abortion is murder. The MAJORITY of National MPs voted against decriminalising abortion in 2020. Luxon said the law is "settled". Even if you believe him, that won't stop him as PM restricting access or cutting funding to abortion services. He will.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Did she make it onto the New Year Honours List?

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

Who will last longer?

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

Men forgiving Jeremy Clarkson's comments about Meghan Markle with shades of "haha he's just joking lighten up" make me madder than the actual original bullshit. STOP FORGIVING THIS CRAP. CALL OUT THE OBVIOUS RACISM AND MISOGNY FOR FUCKS SAKE. RAGE RAGE RAGE ARG. FUCK.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

Thanks for everything, Jacinda. I can totally understand why she wants out now. A reset might even help Labour, we shall see. Us lefties have to hope as we look to the future. Am I the only one whose first thoughts went to Kiri Allan?

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 months

If Premier House was good enough for fricking 🌟WONDER WOMAN🌟 then it’s more than good enough for Luxon.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Nicola Willis said last week on RNZ that the ONLY research they did for their Welfare Policy was to look at the statistics. They haven't done ANY reading on what works, or talked to anyone at WINZ or on a benefit. Two weeks ago Luxon didn't understand Jobseeker. Disgraceful.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

When Chris Luxon starts on his beneficiary bashing today, please remember that the "Jobseeker" numbers include all those who can't work due to a health condition, injury, or disability.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

Ashley Bloomfield with his pony named "One Trick".

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Goodbye Dr Ashley Bloomfield, and thank you for all the assiduous mahi. 😷

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Luxon on PPM poll results: "You've got to understand I'm a new leader and I've still got a lot of work to do to, to get people across New Zealand to get to know me.” Nah, mate. They’re getting to know you. That’s your problem.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@JoyAnnReid She’d make van der Veen cry angry defeated tears.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

Meep Mama was without doubt the smartest, kindest, and most generous person I have ever had the good fortune to know.

Meep Mama

@MotherOfMeeps

1 year

Hi Twitter, this is not the news we wanted to have to share with you. Meep Mama has died. We knew this was inevitable- her cancer was not curable and she was living what life she could while she could.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

WHY IS HIS TIE SO LONG?!

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Wow. I guess the @NZNationalParty will be advertising for a new social media person after this was posted (and then deleted) from Facebook. Another emotional junior staffer?

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Cheer up, grumpy bum. You’ll be back in Te Puke in no time.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Chris Luxon is going to call the drinking water every day at 4pm and tell it to be clean. Sorted.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Okay, hear me out, new TV show. The @JohnJCampbell & @AshBloomfield Road Trip. Them travelling assiduously around the motu meeting peeps and occasionally solving crimes.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

7 houses. 0 tailors. The state of it.

NameCan'tBeBlank 💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉

@infinite_ink

1 year

resisting the urge to photoshop.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Meanwhile…

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@SecondGentleman Maybe get a t-shirt with your name on it?

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

9 months

My mother passed away this morning, peacefully with Step-Mum and a dear friend of theirs by her side. I’m in that kind of dream shock state. Orca is looking after us all. 🤍🖤 She was an awesome Mom/Mum. ❤️

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@dogfather Champ is a national treasure and deserves respect!

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@MeidasTouch

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

This is how Simon O'Connor is celebrating the SCOTUS decision. Simeon Brown was president of ProLife Auckland while at uni. Luxon thinks we're muderers. People are saying that we're imagining the worst and over reacting. That's what they said in the USA too. Until today.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Full commitment to the photobomb.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

We don’t hate women. We hate how you use irrational fear as a weapon against ALL of our people. Get out. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 #TransWomenAreWomen

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Stuff vs Herald. 🙄

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@JoyAnnReid I JUST WANNA NOT WEAR A MASK AND COMMIT TREASON! CENSORSHIP! FAKE MEDIA! SAD!

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Chris Luxon: "The National Party is a party for women.” Just not of women.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

If for any reason that the Queen Consort cannot fulfil her duties, the 1st runner up shall take over. #Coronation

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

6 months

The idea that these two could job-share the role of Deputy PM is hilariously stupid so it should definitely happen. 🍿

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@HillaryClinton Hopefully Castor was right and they will arrest him afterwards.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

10 months

I see David Seymour is in fine form today.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

7 months

existential crisis actor

@invertiert

7 months

@Lores_borg_lore @kvetchings Rapture yes, raptor no

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

“One of the criticisms I've faced over the years is that I'm not aggressive enough or assertive enough, or maybe somehow, because I'm empathetic, it means I'm weak. I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate & strong.” - Jacinda Ardern

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@KolinkBattler @TheDailyShow

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

6 months

Chlöe Swarbrick reacting to the speech from the “throne” is all of us. [Photographer: Rob Kitchin; Source: ]

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

We’ll adopt your baby.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

@PresElectBiden @POTUS @JoeBiden @FLOTUSBiden @SenKamalaHarris @SecondGentleman @Transition46 While I'm demanding, I also think the Vice President and Second Gentleman should get a dog. Thank you for your attention to this extremely pressing matter.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 months

The whole point of the parliamentary accommodation supplement is so that the cost of having to stay in Wgtn part-time isn’t a barrier to be an MP. Not so that old money bags Luxon can afford yet another Tesla “for his wife”. Once again I ask, is anyone actually advising him?!

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

"People are pushing against the police... A man on a loud speaker is asking the crowd to calm down and a woman can be heard yelling that there are children there." - RNZ Yeah, well, there SHOULDN'T be, Doris. At least keep the kids far away during police action. #endtheprotest

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

I would like Chris Luxon to tell us why these particular 14,000 public servants are deemed surplus to requirements. Line by lying line.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Grant Robertson was right about Luxon when he first roasted him about the limo drive: "It required Mr Luxon to travel straight for 46 seconds, before turning right, turning right again, turning left, turning right again. This will be the pattern of his leadership."

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

You can practically smell the Covid wafting off them, like rancid patchouli. #Clownvoy

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

6 months

"…if Nicola Willis is saying that she's surprised by some of that, it basically means that she's been lazy, and not actually doing her job as the Opposition finance spokesperson, which is to read the Budget." - Chris Hipkins

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

6 months

OMG I CAN’T EVEN LOLOLOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA!

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Just had a walk to the GP & chemist and it felt like every Wellingtonian was wearing masks so no one would think they're a rat-licking protestor. 😂😷

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

Just when you think the day can’t get any better. 🥹 #ArrogantPrick

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

NEW PLAN: An absolutely huge banner of this hung down the side of the Beehive facing the #Clownvoy

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Sincerest apologies to @TaikaWaititi but I had to do it. #GoHome #ConvoyNZ2022

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

The Bay of Plenty Times did a Q+A with the Tauranga candidates. One question, what was their biggest mistake. Act's candidate Cam Luxton spoke about his drink-driving conviction. Uffindell said, "Not coming home to New Zealand sooner. There's nowhere we'd rather raise our kids.”

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

Meet my new flatmate. I shall call him Ceiling Mouse. 🐁 😕

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

4 months

It’s inexcusable how underprepared and ignorant PM Luxon is on ALL the things. Almost like making a one-term arrogant incurious MP the leader of your party is a bad idea. And now we all have to pay for it…

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

6 months

Gerry Brownlee to be Speaker of the House.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

2 years

I wonder what Harete thinks about what Harete did today?

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

The reasons why women have abortions.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 months

Luxon says the repeated speech at Waitangi was intentional and “hinted at reusing other important speeches in the future, such as his Anzac Day speech.” Like, what is even the point of him then? He is the walking embodiment of ‘this could have been an email’. Useless.

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

3 years

Her: My bowl is empty. Me: You’re not my cat. Her: My bowl is empty. Me: You don’t live here. Her: My bowl is empty. Me: *puts tuna in her bowl*

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

11 months

After @MotherOfMeeps died we found gifts she’d already bought me which included two more pairs of my fav pj pants. I just unpacked them & she’d already washed them for me so they smell like her ‘cause of the fabric softener and now I’m sitting here weeping over sloth pyjamas. 😭

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Sarah B.

@bartsnz

1 year

Kieran McAnulty when he started as Minister for Emergency Management vs now.

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