Jorts (and Jean) @JortsTheCat Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I am purring very loud because I love all of you.

Am I the Asshole?

@AITA_online

2 years

AITA for “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes” about Jorts?

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Last Seen Profiles

@art_design21

@pkb_wangi

@KCBrickley

@PudgyEurope

@istrandar

@JoinDeepRock

@Jennifer_Hsiung

@bimosaurus

@MarianoOses

@dcstoday

@ltaylor_42

@shenuyanka

@MarkJCarney

@chels3288

@bwncathband

@gregissnacking

@AaronWh5526142

@Pine_Research

@abcdegfisagi

@Galewismusic

@DatGuyErnest

@Hunterstep14

@primiciasyacom

@r_a_b_b_i_t

@SSB_JP_Official

@yennpurkis

@qlc7i

@AthoobEjh

@SunflowerJMS

@willregi

@CarolSizhu

@GregOK

@ayalaalexis

@ocrmna

@RobertDonaghey

@stoughtonboys

Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

It will be fine

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

6 months

“No my dearest,” he says to her. “You are alive, and beautiful as the moon.”

الجبهة الشعبية🔻🇵🇸

@shawarmarxism

6 months

"Are you taking me to the cemetery?!" A little girl asking, as she is rescued from beneath the debris of her demolished home in Al-Bureij camp. #Gaza #Israel

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Elon Musk’s kids should form a union

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

3 months

LAPD is trying to say the paint is a crime. The crime is a 27 floor, $1billion building sitting empty in a city where 75,000 people are without shelter

John Schreiber

@johnschreiber

3 months

Nearly every floor of the dormant Oceanwide Plaza luxury development in Downtown LA was tagged this week. I counted 27 floors of graffiti. The $1 billion project was stalled 5 years ago and sits just across from LA Live and the red carpet for Sunday's Grammys. @kcalnews #DTLA

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Workers aren’t “quiet-quitting” to avoid burnout. They’re refusing to have their labor stolen without compensation. Idk why there are so many bad articles about this

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Factually inaccurate. This is disinformation 🚨

Listen, Clive… 😡🗯

@anon_opin

2 years

Nobody wants to see your cat walking across camera in your work video call. It's not cute, it's annoying and unprofessional.

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

4 months

The vast majority of people who are killed by heat or killed by cold are actually killed by poverty. It’s not a random act of weather, it’s the systemic violence of poverty

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Idea: you could sell that chair

Bloomberg UK

@BloombergUK

2 years

Prince Charles announces the government's top priority is to "help ease the cost-of-living for families," with a promise to "level up opportunity in all parts of the country"

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 months

They took my temperature and said it was normal. Well it wasn’t normal for me. It was in my butt

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Ah good, looks like Jer got to the “finding out” part thanks to Shelly

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

STOP MAKING BOOMS. WHAT IS THERE EVEN TO CELEBRATE

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

It’s against the law for your boss to prohibit you from discussing your wages with your coworkers, and also remember there are more workers than there are bosses

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

1 year

Absolutely not. Stop it

The New York End Times

@nyendtimes

1 year

It's Never Too Early For Your First Job. How Adolescents Can Revitalize Our Struggling Economy

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 months

The CDC is now recommending that if you begin to die, you should work overtime to fit in as many hours as possible first

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

POV you are a grilled cheese sandwich left briefly unattended

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I dramatically limped around for a while today. Plans for a vet visit were canceled when someone realized there was part of a sticker stuck to my paw. A full recovery followed

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

OK geniuses, 48 years ago the minimum wage would cover rent. Pay more and you’d be fully staffed 💡

GOP

@GOP

2 years

51% of small business owners say there are job openings they cannot fill. That is more than double the 48-year historical average.

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Why is the NYT writing about workers standing up for themselves but describing it like ringworm

The New York Times

@nytimes

2 years

Something infectious is spreading through the work force. Its symptoms present in a spate of two-week notices. Its transmission is visible in real time. And few bosses seem to know how to inoculate their staff against this quitagion.

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Hi Joe President, I have a question

Joe Biden

@JoeBiden

4 years

Today's decision reaffirmed that states can't put in place laws that unduly burden a woman's right to make her own health care decisions—but the fight isn't over. As President, I'll codify Roe v. Wade and protect a woman’s constitutional right to choose.

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I’m Jeff Bezos boo hoo hoo. I got a bazillion dollars by using algorithms to exploit workers. Waah waah be nicer to me, I’m a space jerk baby

Jeff Bezos

@JeffBezos

2 years

The newly created Disinformation Board should review this tweet, or maybe they need to form a new Non Sequitur Board instead. Raising corp taxes is fine to discuss. Taming inflation is critical to discuss. Mushing them together is just misdirection.

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

1 year

Guess what??

Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I bet this comes in handy one day when we’re all being hilarious

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Wondering why there are so many tv shows and movies about cops and so few about union organizers

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

3 months

Oh how harshly history will view us

RootsAction

@Roots_Action

3 months

Actual White House transcript 😭😭

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

HELP someone STOLE AN HOUR of my life and won’t give it back until November, this is bullshit

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

3 months

SILVER LINING: [one of the worst things you ever heard]

More Perfect Union

@MorePerfectUS

3 months

“More grandparents working than ever is good for corporate profits.”

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I’m not trying to create a panic here but I stretched and nobody said “wow big stretch”

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

The vet said to treat crunchy food “like doritos, just a treat.” We started calling it “doritos.” In a wholesome misunderstanding, someone put a single Dorito chip in each cat dish at snack time today

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

If you are worried or lonely today, just try to remember you won’t always feel like this. Two weeks ago I was getting buttered, Jean was a little sick and we didn’t know ANY of you yet

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Check in on doom scrolling... Are you bearing witness, or are you just cramming more pain in on top of the pain you haven’t processed?

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

9 months

Wow that sounds like open borders, and nobody even pushed his grandpa back into the water to drown

Kevin McCarthy

@SpeakerMcCarthy

9 months

My grandfather crossed the ocean from Italy when he was 16 years old with less than $10 in his pocket. He arrived at Ellis Island greeted by Lady Liberty. I was proud to show a copy of his entry record to Prime Minister @GiorgiaMeloni as a reminder that our friendship runs deep.

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Remember HR’s job is to protect the boss

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

1 year

If someone stepped on a rake and bonked themself 6 times in a row it’d be funny 6 times. If they took a break for a few hours the 7th rake would be even more hilarious

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

BIG NEWS: I would like to announce my book deal. It’s where I knock the books off the shelf onto your desk, and you have to deal with it haha

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

3 months

I feel confident that the people who have crystal meth on hand are not giving it for free to geese

Scott Ford

@GreatScottFord

3 months

In Portland, Oregon geese are fed cyrstal meth in bread. Homeless addicts purposely drug Canadian geese so they can become violent to attack park goers. Geese become addicted to the drug craving even more meth

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

If you can’t relax, did you try imagining a cat making a big soup

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Proposal: slightly less stuff should happen (please)

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

If you make a mistake, instead of thinking bad stuff about yourself just say CLASSIC JORTS. You wouldn’t be mean to me

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Check out my NFT (neat furry tail)

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Ok I’m just going to be honest: I fell in a trash can today and it wasn’t even a regular trash can. It was that small wastepaper kind, and my back legs were waving around in the air

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Jean says even when she was very little she knew she was fierce. We ALL need to grow up safely, so we can be exactly who we’re meant to be. Protect trans youth ❤️🏳️‍⚧️

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

No I have not done my chores, I’m tired plus I do not have any feet

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Ah, here I am again. In the very place where you claim I am “not allowed”

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

If you make a mistake, so what? You never think mean stuff about me when I make a mistake

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

C’mon Mayor you know the real hero was Zack Bodega not some cops

Mayor Eric Adams

@NYCMayor

2 years

He fired 33 shots. But less than 30 hours later, thanks to the NYPD, federal and state partners, first responders and every day New Yorkers, we got him. We brought the Sunset Park subway shooter to justice. Keeping our city safe is at the heart of our administration. Always.

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Ok but if your boss says you have to arrive early and get things set up before clocking in, that’s wage theft

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

This video of a complex robot that would never fit in a grocery store, apartment or office building seems like an example of buttering the cat. Just build a ramp

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

@kelios It’s ok we don’t have to agree on everything, and we can still have other stuff in common. Like how I don’t like the violence of colonialism or pretending to be destined by god to hoard generational riches from colonialism and enslavement, but I do love corgis! ❤️

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

8 months

This is so riveting. Let us see the school picture. I need to know everything, I demand at least 4 seasons.

Sydney Adamu's Best Friend

@kingbealestreet

8 months

This is literally a coming of age movie 😭

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

4 months

They got me. I’ve been jingled

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Oh he is NOT ready

Media Matters

@mmfa

2 years

Tucker Carlson attacks BTS for speaking out about hate crimes targeting Asian-Americans

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Well everyone is stressed out about a lot of things. Since I’m just a cat I can’t fix big stuff, so I am making a shape like a smile

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I can’t fix the big stuff, but I do have this baby picture of Jean if it helps

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I just want to remind you that sometimes deciding NOT to do something is just as brave as deciding to do something. You don’t have to do everything

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Good luck staying that stressed once I pull this feetsies move

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Many of you are asking for ‘Jorts merch’ but you could just use an orange marker and write I LIKE JORTS THE CAT on something you already have. (Also a great gift idea)

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

No. It’s awesome

CountryOfTheBlind 1776 🌵

@CountryOTBlind

2 years

@chrislhayes So running a supreme court justice out of a restaurant is ok?

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

And lo, how their hearts did break for they heard the orange cat had not been fed, and had only had a little snack since breakfast

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

When I tweet my little tweets

cats with jobs 🛠

@CatWorkers

2 years

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

11 months

I don’t think billionaires should exist. If you become a billionaire I’m not saying you should die — I’m saying you should immediately stop being a billionaire

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I can tell you’re trying to concentrate. I’ll sit 2 feet away and stare at you so hard you will physically feel my steady, unblinking support. You’re welcome

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Jean says police unions don’t count because cops aren’t workers

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

26 days

Pet cats belong inside only. Outside is very bad for us, and we are often very bad for outside

𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎

@allyzielinski

27 days

what is an opinion you have about owning pets that will have you like this?

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

The feline urge to knock shit over

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

1 year

If I was Chris Pratt I would choose to not be so embarrassing

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I can’t get out of your way because all of my feet went curly. I guess you better carry me

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Wage theft is the most expensive crime in the USA. Fifteeen BILLION dollars are stolen from American workers per year. What is wage theft, and why is this still happening? 1/

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Happy New Ear to all those who celebrate (?)

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Ok if you love your cat so much why won’t you let them smell the food inside your mouth

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

We are going to have a holiday party and they asked what we want to eat. I said gravy but Jean said the rich

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Big news I got a little salami (As a treat)

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

The CDC says I am allowed to play in the trash can and it will be fine

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I yelled loudly for an hour at dawn. No reason, just felt like it. Now I will take a nap in an inconvenient spot

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

If you try to scoop me up it would be like cuddling spaghetti that’s a baby

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Well I was a huge pain in the ass today. I will sleep soundly

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

BREAKING: Days since trash can mishap: 0 More detail to follow shortly

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Jean says the cops should get real jobs and stop bothering real workers

Los Angeles Times

@latimes

2 years

Should police arrest sex workers for standing around? Thorny question lands on Newsom's desk

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Great news: I was given a little bite of toast

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I would like to address the rumors that I am, in fact, so much baby. The rumors are true

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Every single news story about cops being exposed to a crumb of fentanyl and collapsing is a made-up lie. Reporters who claim otherwise should be ashamed of themselves

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Are we done talking about that one space jerk for a minute? Let’s talk about my cool box. I like this box

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I have been working extremely hard on this, I hope she likes it

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Apologies but I have lost all my feet

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I have the phone now. Jorts has been indicted for sabotage.

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

3 months

Weird. This headline doesn’t mention that he killed the woman he arrested

ABC7 Eyewitness News

@ABC7

3 months

Tennessee deputy found dead after making first arrest, patrol vehicle recovered from river

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Yes, I’m sitting on towels. You may be curious about why, and that’s ok. Curiosity is healthy

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

6 months

Listen if someone is going to be a single-issue voter, “not doing a genocide” is a pretty reasonable single issue

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

1 year

Wow can you believe it’s been nearly a year since I got buttered

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Oh good you’re here. We have lots of work to do, so come on in

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Days since Jorts trash can mishap: 0 Hours short of an 8 day streak, without warning I launched myself in and went bonkers. It was nearly empty, and there was no food containers. Just zest for life

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Hey check it out, I’m over here doing foursies feetsies. Hey check it out. Hey everyone

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Days since trash can mishap: 0 No further comment at this time

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Jean washed my face. Look how clean it is, she even did my ears

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

7 months

That lyft cat was found safe (fyi)

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Um… Jean says hi

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

Airing out my tongue after all the cool swears I said today

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

10 months

“Listen to me motherfucker, there’s a lot of ways to lose a house.” Now deleted; still true

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I am so weak bc I have a severe deficiency of the flavor of cat food you don’t have

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

If you whine less about other people maybe you’d swim faster. I know from experience that whining slows me down

Kyle Sockwell

@kylesockwell

2 years

Virginia Tech swimmer Reka Gyorgy has released a full statement on the NCAA allowing Lia Thomas to compete in the 500 freestyle. She was 17th in the event. “Every event that transgender athletes participated in was one spot taken away from biological females throughout the meet”

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Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

2 years

I came for smooches and you try to wipe my eye schmutz?! Omg rude

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