detective valeria's peanut sack @barcuswoot Twitter profile

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

this is the most iconic post about bg3 by far

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

karlach and shadowheart

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

1 month

This fucks

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

instant classic

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

8 months

i want karlach to try drawing astarion so he can see what he looks like but it's her first time being able to hold a pencil in 10 years without it turning to ash so after four hours of him sitting there she just hands this over with a "sorry mate"

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

8 months

FAVORITE

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

gale and elminster

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

perfect angel girl

@coochiegurl420

4 months

i suck so bad at sexting im like "that can be arranged"

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

this is how you know you failed at life

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

early on act 1 shadowheart conversations are exactly like this

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

astarion

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

7 months

the rest of the party: no gale, we have other options, you don't need to blow yourself up minthara: he's not exploding fast enough

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

this should have been astarion's camp outfit

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

2 months

Hi my name is Shadowheart Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) tied with chain hair ties that reaches my mid-back and icy green eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Shar

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

ascended astarion romance

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

2 months

this is so cute

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

i've never seen a deeper delusion than straight women who get mad and claim astarion isn't effeminate and is in fact a classic gender conforming masculine king. you would think these fans aren't real, but then i see them.

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

there is no one else like him

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

tav accepting astarion for being a vampire but then banishing him from camp the next day when they learn he used to work in law

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

when i see players with gale and astarion love triangles in their games i just think of how astarion spent centuries honing his seduction craft to lose the mark he's pouring everything into for survival purposes to a redditor that says "don't mind if i do" before each meal

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

the playerbase loading up the game to discover the epilogue is a graphic sex scene between withers and their tav

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

gale threatening murder suicide if you make him speak to dribbles the clown is one of his best character moments in the entire game

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

how many astarion tags

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

14 days

jaheira

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

i hate that they removed wyll's scene from EA where he tries to have sex with tav but gets distracted by mizora in what it seemed like a pretty good allegory for the trauma of past abusive relationships holding you back from future ones. now they locked him in a chastity cage

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

i thought we were over this by now

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

you know gale is a good male character because straight men loathe him and women and gay men love him

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

one of the saddest moments in the game

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

this is what it feels like to speak to halsin in act 3

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

speaks for itself

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

such a beautiful ending except the fact karlach's pants didn't load so she was naked wit her ass out for the entire party

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

barcus my man you cut me one final time

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

they really went all out with the "you will enjoy sex with me" option. astarion telling you he always felt nothing during sex until last night with you where he felt miserable is so genuinely gut wrenching

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

2 months

ready for a new adventure

mr pussy 🇵🇸🍉

@mrpvssy

2 months

I am not kidding when I say I laughed so hard I puked a little bit in my mouth children leaving in tears they handed out a few jellybeans and a quarter cup of lemonade at the end the cops were called to the scene this miserable looking woman surrounded by inexplicable smoke

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

the fact this was posted in 2022 and is not about astarion at all

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

ascended astarion

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

people who hate mayrina are lame. the twist that the helpless maiden we are rescuing is an ungrateful deadbeat mother is hilarious and amazing

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

how i feel removing shadowheart and astarion from my party

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

i'm still really disappointed people don't play into the image of high charisma tav being a suicide machine in fandom, that's what left the biggest impression after playing act 2

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

getting out my air-horn

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

it's still funny to me astarion is skilled in lockpicking when he couldn't enter a house uninvited pre tadpole

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

gale's ending where he suicidebaits a classroom of children and threatens to take them down with him on the regular in order to make them behave is everything i wanted for him

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

broke: astarion bites durge every night for food woke: durge bites astarion every day for no reason

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

big things are happening in the gc

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

they should add a new cutscene of shadowheart watching you fuck astarion from the bushes and she's holding a wine glass in her hand and shaking her head in disapproval

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

this guy spilled his spaghetti all over the floor

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

someone on tumblr pointed out astarions bed is just some wood

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

the dark urge cleric dialogue during the first long rest goes so hard

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

shadowheart: my lady...i won't fail you. halsin:

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

brooo if you pick a certain line in grand duke wyll's romance ending you canonically adopt a daughter together. dad wyll is real

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

i don't know how you can be an astarion stan and not mock him sometimes. his cringe is his charm

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

remember when neil said there was two hours of content nobody had found yet in game and it turned out it was just astarions reaction to exploding at the creche everyone had already found

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

how i look when i'm reading comments about how much better wylls dance is with astarion model swapped in and how this scene specifically designed for that character actually fits astarion so much more

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

i hate it when people claim shadowheart is straight. she's horny for karlach. you can never take that away from me.

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

wyll really is so incredibly corny that it loops right back around to being genuine game

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

i love how astarion calls durge a freak for saying it was hot he brought them to his grave. bro you are the one who came here to fuck on it

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

remember what we have lost

발게덕후

@bd3deokjiljoong

4 months

얼엑아타는 흡혈하다가 부랄걷어차이는 씬도 있었구나...

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

before and after starting his self improvement journey

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

i maintain that astarion isn't actually interested in tav during the first night and tbh i think its way more interesting that way

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

lae'zel's game honestly blows both gale and astarion's out of the water her githyanki exclusive line "you know your body inside and out. it is time you knew mine" had me gagged it was so smooth

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

this iconic karlach line always brings me to tears

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

ill never forget the sense of exhaustion and disappointment i felt when i walked into the room and saw that little elephant thing floating around

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

hi...

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

3 months

larian is giving us the chance to fight with our romanced companion in the grocery store next update

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

vampire spawn can in fact impregnate someone

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

i think everyone should make gale explode on new years no matter where you are

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

the person behind the bat meltdown also released this total banger a week again

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

astarion experiences a rare moment of gay solidarity

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

the aa people being sad about 'spawn fans' drawing art of the non ascended version as a bat because they consider it theft or something. why is there so much drama about this bat. it's a bat.

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

i hope vampire spawn can get people pregnant. post game i want my tav to have the first vampire abortion.

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

post i made months before i ever even heard of this astarion fellow

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

drow guards in the underdark watching thousands of thirsty vampire spawns approaching their home

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

does anyone actually like the gauntlet of shar

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

thank you halsin for always being there when orin needed a companion kidnapped

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

Gale.

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months

astarion

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

this idea thats started cropping up that astarion's first night with tav wasn't considered as strictly transactional to him is so blatantly contradicted by canon it's ridic

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

astarion has the best love test by far simply because he's the only one who gets pissed off by you spilling his deepest feelings to a random carnie

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

the illithid/wyll ending is fucking crazy

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

astarion was right about being all ears. those things are fucking huge.

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

there isn't a charging gnoll in faerun strong enough to keep his lips off pookie

detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

i actually think astarion is fine with pda. this is a guy who calls you stupid and embarrassing pet names and sucks face in front of companions until they get sick of it

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

PaleElf has sent you a discord message Ritual tonite Ritual tonight Darling Ritual tonite🦇🦇🦇🩸

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

attempted astarion alfira fuck???

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

it's still so funny tav can outright say "i thought you didn't like me" when astarion is really laying the seduction on thick

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

looks like they are gonna add in reactions to banging harleep. astarion...

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

the fact that people have been screaming for a way to show astarion his face and we had the oskar painting in game yet the writers didn't think of it. 9/11 for astarion fans

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

6 months

still the best approval in the game

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

wyll and astarion

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

5 months

i kinda wondered why i fixated so much on astarion and not gale because gale is more pathetic but then i realized it's because astarion is more cringe

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detective valeria's peanut sack

@barcuswoot

4 months