Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama Twitter profile

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Jessica Ellis

6 months

Hey kids, just wanted to say I'm available for private reads if you want feedback from an experienced (10+ years) pro reader. I love being your work's cheerleader and analyst. Feel free to reach out via DM for rates/questions.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

11 years ago, I was texting a dude I'd hooked up with a few times as I got ready for thanksgiving back in my hometown. "I forget, what's your town called again?" He asked. I told him. One EIGHT HOUR DRIVE later he appeared at my doorstep. WHAT A DUMBASS. Anyway we're married.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

7 months

My closest encounter with the mafia is I went to a starkly empty pizza place in Rhode Island once, they seemed utterly confused that I wanted a pizza, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best pizza I’d ever had.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

You think after 11 years of marriage you really know your spouse, and then last night I found out mine uses his notes app by keeping EVERYTHING - grocery lists, reminders, birthday present ideas - in ONE LONG NOTE

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

5 years

So ok. Maybe it is all men.

Newsweek

@Newsweek

5 years

Dalai Lama says a female successor must be attractive, or people won't want to look at her face

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

People who bitched about wearing a mask for a few hours on a plane during a pandemic insisting that surviving nine months of an unwanted pregnancy is no biggie.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

Whoever invented “pet rent” is going directly to hell.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Oh Buddy. You’ve done more than make them think about it. You’ve bonded them forever in a group text where one of them will share a wedding photo or promotion news and one of the others will say “i don’t know, SMELLS LIKE FAILURE.” And then they’ll all die laughing.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

Just to be clear: if I have degrees and am struggling with student debt I should’ve not wasted money on college and gotten a real job, but if I have a blue collar job and am struggling with low wages I should’ve gone to college and gotten a real job.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

I keep hearing about how we shouldn’t tax billionaires because it might limit their philanthropy. They aren’t being taxed right now. Where the fuck is Zuckerberg? Where the fuck is Bezos? Where the fuck are the Walton fam? Where the fuck is Musk? Where the fuck is Bloomberg?

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

9 months

Guys you have no idea about the scripts I read. It’s my job. Heartbreaking dramas. Wildly funny comedies. Groundbreaking sci fi. Diverse voices. Amazing love stories. Biopics of fascinating people I’ve never heard of. Almost none of them get made. It’s not the writers.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

Ok I understand everyone is freaking out but why are ALL of you baking sourdough.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

My very first boyfriend once told me he didn’t mind my looks because “he likes a woman with big legs” and 24 years later this is the first thing I think of any time I wear shorts and anyway, maybe we shouldn’t let teenage boys speak ever

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

3 years

Wait til you find out how they feel about tags in their clothes, foods that aren’t mac and cheese, and a cow making noises they weren’t expecting

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

Is there a movie you avoid for completely irrational reasons? A guy breaking up with me told me I should really watch 500 DAYS OF SUMMER to understand why he was ending it and I absolutely refuse to find out what condescending bullshit he was suggesting.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

5 years

Forever 21 is closing, please sign my petition to replace it with my new concept: Bitches, We’re 35

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

An unbelievable thing that has changed in 30 years is that in 1995, this was supposed to be what 45 year-olds looked like.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

8 months

Bambi’s TWO moms get shot.

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

8 months

Disney’s live-action ‘BAMBI’ remake will be a modernised retelling. “I think that to be able to bring it to life for kids these days in a way that maybe they relate to a little bit more would be of service to the original.” (Source: )

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

5 years

Let’s put this another way: $7 billion dollars is what Jeff Bezos makes in...Wait for it...about five weeks.

Yashar Ali 🐘

@yashar

5 years

Jeff Bezos would pay nearly $7 billion to Elizabeth Warren's Medicare-for-all tax

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

8 months

She is being so so smart by not saying a WORD.

Pop Base

@PopBase

8 months

A ‘source’ tells Page Six that Joe Jonas tried to ‘salvage’ his marriage with Sophie Turner before filing for divorce: “Divorce was a last resort for Joe. He never wanted to break up his family, but he had to take what he felt was the best course of action for his girls.”

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

I cannot be the only person who gets stressed out when asked to name any favorite thing (movie, ice cream flavor, album etc) because I don’t really have one.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

Meghan Markle is very clearly an accomplished knight who rescued a helpless prince from a tower and any stories that don’t frame it like that are wrong, don’t @ me.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

18 days

Crazy. I wonder if it has something to do with rent being unaffordable, food being unaffordable, insurance being unaffordable, daycare being unaffordable, college being unaffordable, home owning being unaffordable, medical care being unaffordable, and a pandemic.

ABC7 Eyewitness News

@ABC7

18 days

US fertility rate dropped to lowest in a century as births dipped in 2023

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Ok, is it just me, or is this whole push to AI just happening because the clock ran out on crypto? It seems like exactly the same guys.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

10 months

I am very confused why you would not release this in October.

Variety

@Variety

10 months

“The Haunted Mansion” earned $3.1 million in Thursday previews and is expected to gross $25-$30 million in its opening weekend. The film carries an oversized price tag of $150 million.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

People not letting Covid dominate their life is the primary reason we still have Covid

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

8 months

Why are all of these patently insane! Why are there 18 bottles of honey? Is this a family of Irish bears??

gaut

@0xgaut

8 months

I present to you: $200 of groceries in Ireland

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Sometimes I think about how my husband told me once there was a girl in high school who would invite him to sit in her car at lunch and put on music that she’d joke was good make out music and he thought she just really enjoyed music.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

8 months

Imma say it again. Sex is a normal, extremely common, emotion and conflict-filled human interaction and insisting that movies shouldn't feature it "unless necessary" is an agenda with something really strange behind it.

Ali B

@wtflanksteak

8 months

Honestly, what are you people talking about?!

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

8 months

Are people just stuck in a 2002 mindset where an apartment costs $700 and a weekly grocery run costs $80? Is that what this is? $25 would be a lot for a restaurant job twenty years ago, it’s not now because literally everything essential has doubled in price. This is not hard.

Petty LaBelle

@PickleMamaa

8 months

so….all the other deep shit aside….yall really think $25/hr for Waffle House employees makes sense?

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

7 months

You wanna really fuck someone up, trap them for the 18 years their brain is doing most of its development in a situation where their primary model of a romantic relationship is at best miserable and at worse abusive.

Anthony Bradley

@drantbradley

7 months

Divorce destroys kids. They are not ok. Some parents “wait” until the kids are in college because of the ridiculous myth later is better. No, it’s always destroys them.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

My general rule is if there’s a dude a lot of men think is a genius and a lot of women are very wary of, the women are right.

Armani

@historyofarmani

4 years

Elon Musk went from Tony Stark to Lex Luthor so fast

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 month

Grey’s Anatomy is actually one of the best existential horror artworks ever made. It chronicles the 20 year desperation of a single woman - Miranda Bailey - to get her coworkers to stop fucking and killing themselves for long enough to save anyone’s life. She never wins.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

It is wild to live in a culture acting like we are overreacting to Covid when everything within my ability to reason suggests we are dramatically under-reacting.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

Dirty Dancing is a really upsetting if you imagine it from the POV of Baby’s dad, a cardiologist who just desperately wanted a few weeks of peaceful vacation.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

10 months

Here’s your friendly neighborhood script reader thought of the day: if you are writing about real places and real issues - like say, NASA - it will help you to assume that one of your readers has never heard of NASA, and one is a literal astronaut. Here’s why I think this:

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

3 years

LEAVE. THE GREEN MASK. FROM THE PYRAMID. ALONE.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

8 months

Hey, peeps? Just checking in to say that even the most prolific of serial rapists don’t rape every single woman they meet, so if you’re saying “I met/dated Russell Brand and he didn’t rape me so I don’t find this credible” have you considered that your point is ridiculous

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

3 years

My doctor suggested I eat “only things that grow from the ground” and the restraint it took to not point out that includes sugar and cocaine

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

10 months

Just saw a tweet saying this isn’t funny and I’m very sorry but are you out of your fucking mind

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

10 months

First clip from Greta Gerwig’s ‘BARBIE’. “My job… is just beach.”

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

3 years

WE KNOW

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

9 months

Man, think of those kids, how hard they must have worked. It’s not easy for child actors to pull nearly full set days, for months. We’re really putting art in the hands of absolutely ghouls.

Children's Bookshelf

@PWKidsBookshelf

9 months

Disney+ won't air its already-completed Spiderwick Chronicles show | @TheAVClub

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

7 months

One of those guys paid attention to mama at the stove and coulda had another life, that’s all I know.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

This all only worked because in no way was his ego tied to *succeeding* with a grand gesture. He had enough self-confidence to shoot his shot but crucially, would never blame me for the outcome. That was shockingly attractive. Take notes.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

6 years

That's a weird way to say "Sexual assault victim uses self-defense to escape her attacker"

FOX13 Memphis

@FOX13Memphis

6 years

Teen stabbed with scissors after pulling student's dress up at Memphis school, police say

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

I’m just checking, no one is okay, right?

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

10 months

Aside from the everything else in this post, she actually is wearing makeup.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Well it’s a tough call but I’m still gonna come down on the “murder is bad” side.

Amiri King

@AmiriKing

1 year

Here is Jordan Neely openly attacking the gay community, drag queens, and using homophobic slurs before physically assaulting a man. Where do liberals go from here?

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

3 years

A good way to tell elder millennials from younger ones is to shriek-sing “PEACHES COME FROM A CAN” at them and see what happens

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

People on Twitter are legit arguing that Anne Frank talking about her sexuality wasn’t pertinent to the story she was telling IN HER LITERAL DIARY and I CANT I JUST CANT, SOME OF YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO BE TRUSTED WITH THE MEANING OF A SWISS CHEESE SANDWICH

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

A couple of months ago, I ran out of face cleanser. I had to use just water for three days. My horrifically acne prone skin - including huge hormonal cystic zits - cleared up, 100%. It’s been two months with just water and I’ve had maybe 2 tiny zits. Is...skincare a lie?!!

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

There’s a version of the future where Ryan Reynolds sues Tesla so hard he has enough money to buy Twitter, and I think we should make it happen.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

11 months

One more thing I adored in THE BEAR is the way it quietly reinforces, over and over, that what we think of as “skills” and “talents” are actually things someone else has taken time to teach us.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

I have brought him the two questions everyone keeps asking me: 1. Does he ever delete things? “Sometimes” 2. Does he use the search function to find specific entries “I did not know there was a search function.”

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

8 months

Just saw a woman giving away a dog her family has had for EIGHT YEARS because “the kids are going to college and don’t want a dog anymore.” What the fuck is wrong with people?? Dogs aren’t toys you outgrow!

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

He was from PA and had just moved to California and did not understand when he set out on this romantic mission that you could drive that far and still be in the same state. Also I did not let him stay over, but I did flash him before he left.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Look I’m sorry you cannot ask me to process “Elon Musk has an alt where he pretends to be a creepy baby” on this, Tucker Carlson’s shame promenade day.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

Good morning, if 80% of us wore masks, the virus would stop.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

10 months

And that’s what you get when you invite far-right influencers to your screening! Congrats, marketing team!

Rachel Leishman

@RachelLeishman

10 months

I think I lost brain cells reading this like Ginger Gaetz may be the dumbest complaint I have seen in my life.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

5 years

Why are all movies about assassins about “elite assassins” and not ones who are just doing ok and sorta dreading their next assassin performance review?

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Sometimes I think about how after my heart surgery they had to do a quick procedure to remove the chest tube, and they nonchalantly gave me a MEDICATION THAT STOPS YOU FROM FORMING SHORT TERM MEMORY like that was normal and not a sci-fi idea that could spawn a thousand tales.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

11 months

Wedding culture has gotten insane and should be studied as a symptom of societal collapse.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

7 years

I'm seeing 20 yr olds saying STRANGER THINGS is unrealistic because parents would never let you be gone that long. Poor lil bastards.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

5 years

I am so tired of men with ideas being held above women with answers.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

Still mad he got away with this tbh.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

3 months

Here’s another bit of rhetoric that drives me nuts: “you can’t expect other people to keep you safe.” We do, we do all the time in every way! We expect people to stop at red lights, to handle food safely, to give us the right medication at the pharmacy, to watch our stuff.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

He had abs and called my dad "sir" and didn't mind that I was still in love with my ex boyfriend and I found him entirely baffling and still do.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Very weird that HBO has pivoted from making television to pissing people off

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

FUCK HIM UP, SHAKESPEARE

William Shakespeare

@Wwm_Shakespeare

4 years

How chance the King comes with so small a number?

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 month

Am I the only one who got the yellow category in connections as “things in a sandwich” and not what it actually is?

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

5 days

She is a tall size zero woman with clear skin and enormous doe eyes, this is literally what we have been told is attractive from birth for about 50 years now.

Theia

@cleobug101

7 days

If you find this woman attractive, you're high IQ. I can't explain why, but she's beautiful in a way the simple mind would overlook. Understated beauty.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

You guys he just tried to console me by saying it’s not as bad as how many tabs he has open on his phone. Which is 425.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

I am a 38 year old with a master’s degree. I cannot figure out my own healthcare. There are prescriptions that cost $200 at one pharmacy and $3 at another. You can’t figure out a system designed to screw you over, especially when you are sick.

David Smith

@SmithInAmerica

4 years

Buttigieg: “I trust you to figure out your own health care.”

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

I’ll know toxic masculinity has been ended when y’all admit IPAs taste terrible.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

The best thing to overhear is people talking to their pets when they don’t know anyone is nearby. A woman just walked by with a huge lab and said “Goddamnit Carl, we are NOT doing this again.”

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

6 years

My god. Who needs to spend that much on balloons??!

IndieWire

@IndieWire

6 years

Report: Netflix’s Content Budget for 2018 Balloons to $13 Billion

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

What drives me so crazy right now is the lack of the plan. The moment the draft leaked, leadership should’ve written a plan to release the day the opinion dropped. A plan that said our first job after the midterms is codifying Roe. Here’s exactly the races we must focus on.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

7 months

Also “Dominic the Donkey” was playing.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

He has clarified that he doesn’t add new notes to the bottom of the list - HE ADDS THEM RANDOMLY THROUGHOUT SO THERE IS *NO* CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

Fact: Hobbits routinely live for more than 100 years in good health Fact: Hobbits are shown to be able to have large families Fact: The population density of the shire still seems relatively low Hypothesis: Hobbit condoms??

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

California: It’s Covid, so stay inside. Me: Ok CA: Except if there’s an earthquake, then get out Me: Ok CA: Unless there’s a heatwave, then stay in Me: o...k... CA: Unless the fire tornado is headed your way Me: ...k CA: The flash flood might fix that Me: ... CA The power is out

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

9 months

Covid is going up pretty significantly everywhere right now, so I say this as a caution, not for sympathy: my life is nearly unrecognizable since I got Covid in 2022. I have what’s considered very mild long Covid. What does that mean?…

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 months

Cool way to stigmatize kids with chronic illnesses as underachievers, bro.

Callum Robertson 🔸

@CRobertson_LD

2 months

Fantastic visual example pointing out the link between attendance and attainment. Very important that we get as many children in classrooms as possible!

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Piers Morgan’s obsession with Meghan Markle is SO obviously both personal and extremely creepy. What a bizarre obsession for an adult man.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Ok I need people to go back to headline school. This is out of control.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

I HAVE APPARENTLY MARRIED PAN, THE GOD OF CHAOS AND NATURE

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

“I built my whole career around being a Giraffe Whisperer and when I couldn’t point out a giraffe in a photograph you were all BIG MEANIES” by Bethany Mandel

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

9 months

Almost all truly great movies require a studio to take a risk on a new voice, a new idea, or a new twist audiences haven’t seen a million times. The way studios work now, those are all the OPPOSITE of what they want. They want a McDonalds hamburger, every day, every meal.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

These teenagers will be friends forever, they will save each other from struggles, they will introduce each other to future partners, they will be pall bearers for one another, and on the very last one’s deathbed, he will softly whisper to his child “smells like failure”

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

9 months

Why do they WANT to hold onto power until the moment they die? They’re rich as can be! Why don’t they want to be with people they love and have some time for joy and hobbies and other passions? That’s what nearly every working/middle class person I know wants!

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

1 year

Mary Oliver poems are so amazing because you’ll be like “I feel bereft and hopeless and so alone” and she’ll be like “ok, but have you ever really thought about moss?” And it turns out you haven’t.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

4 years

I’ve watched KNIVES OUT a second time, and goddamnit if there is not one set-up in that movie that isn’t paid off. Let Rian Johnson make any movie he damn pleases. He’s earned it.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

10 months

I don’t want to dismiss the trauma of the pandemic (which we’re still in) but this is just normal. You are going to feel 23 for at least the next 15 years. I’m 41 and my brain has juuuuust graduated me to to 26.

trash jones

@jzux

10 months

everyone i know in their late 20s is having an existential crisis because we skipped our mid 20s in the pandemic. relationships fast-tracked, careers faltered, we lost those core identity-building years and now we feel like 23-year-old brains in bodies approaching 30

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

5 years

We live in an absurd world but zero things will be funnier today than a 25 year old marine claiming Senator Elizabeth Ann Warren outfucked him

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

3 years

I think the Krispy Kreme thing is nice and you guys are being weird about it.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

3 years

Resident bisexual here reminding you this doesn’t mean there weren’t always this many bisexuals, just that we have entered an era where it is (somewhat) safer to admit it.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

3 years

We need to talk about Rebecca in Ted Lasso being the Shame Nun

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

9 months

It’s fine to be sick of the same-y generic content! But blame the right thing. It’s not the writers. It’s often not even creative execs, many of whom fight tooth and nail for good material. It’s because of a bad business model for art, and the MBA millionaires who worship it.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

10 months

Truly cannot emphasize enough that my Barbies fucked like bunny rabbits and not once did they ever get pregnant or even worry they were pregnant. Because they got to have a better reality than this one.

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

2 years

Anyway he’s perfect.

63

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Jessica Ellis

@baddestmamajama

6 years

Me: Oh my god, someone broke all of my dishes! Matt Damon, crashing thru door: You should talk about people who don't break dishes.

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