Ash @ashmallerr Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@noble_x_x_

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@Cowboy_fb

@JoPennekamp

Ash

@ashmallerr

24 days

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

Hulk Hogan calling James Bulger ‘another hulkamaniac in heaven’ is so mental it makes Guettas shoutout to George Floyd’s family sound like the pinnacle of tact & grace

IANdrew Dice Clay

@IANdrewDiceClay

4 months

BBC has uploaded Hulk Hogan on Pebble Mill from 1993, and here he is in colour mentioning James Bulger as the inspiration to his album. But this episode of Pebble Mill was aired a month after Bulger died. So he was either shit on in the studio or he just went "that'll do."

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 month

@joelgolby Along with death & taxes it’s a dead certainty that people who shit their pants make up another lie, people who say they’ve shit their pants are looking for an easy get out.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

@dank_ackroyd Well you know what they say ‘The Bevel makes work for idle Glans’

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 month

Tbf, I used to apply this same level of focus when stealing a little bit of housemates butter in my 20s. Studying the contours of the block, running the knife along the pre-existing grooves.

JustaPoliticsBabe🇵🇸

@Blackfeminist98

2 months

It's scary world 💀

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Ash

@ashmallerr

9 months

Can just tell this gaff will stink of halloumi fries and a chicken burger called The Motherclucker. If you want a drink it’ll be a £6.40 pint of Brooklyn Lager

Manchester News MEN

@MENnewsdesk

9 months

Take a look inside Chaos Karts, Manchester's new go-kart place with a twist

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Ash

@ashmallerr

9 months

@_MichaelOswell_ Rap should’ve been delivered by a black Dutch guy in red camo fatigues and MA2 bomber, the white guy should be doing Adlibs in the background denoting his role as producer. Some rudimentary CGI somewhere wouldn’t have gone amiss. Her hair should’ve been crimped

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

@joelgolby Screenshot of a convo with my brother 3 years ago. Checked in yesterday and he’s still confident he could do 36, if PCTS

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

@_andrewkerr_ From Essex with Love. A View to A Pill. The Man with The Golds gym guns.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

3 months

@blueinyorkshire An injunction of exes

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Ash

@ashmallerr

9 months

@graceyldn Kinga & the wine bottle and/or the coughing major from Who wants to be a millionaire

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Ash

@ashmallerr

24 days

@eugeneh84 Some lad started puffing on an elf bar during a teams call last week. It was very ‘lad in year 10 playing with a zippo in class’

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

“But I was raised on Eminem and Xbox 360 so perhaps I just have thicker skin than most” 🔥🔥 I’m gonna need a lie down after that absolute heater

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Ash

@ashmallerr

8 months

MP that does gunfingers & shouts ‘Fuuuck off! Every time they hear a putdown they like during PMQs

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Ash

@ashmallerr

3 months

There’s something about Mary remake looks wank

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

Sunak might be posh and worth a gazillion quid but Eat out-to-Help out was ITV2 as fuck. He’s Huel, he’s Rosegold Prosecco flutes, he’s… Nouveau Rishi

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Ash

@ashmallerr

3 months

Drank a bottle of poppers

Chris Deeley

@ThatChris1209

3 months

Was having this conversation last night - if you were ever a teenage boy, what was the most physically stupid thing you did in those years? Just absolutely brainless stuff

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Ash

@ashmallerr

6 months

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@heawood Linestroika?

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

@_andrewkerr_ Court martialled for desertion. Firing squad led by Darren grimes

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

You’ve just been sentenced to 7 years after being arrested at the Millwall meet

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

@das_munch Real vicars crowdfund for church roof repairs, not tuck shop expenses for freakshow grifters

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

@_andrewkerr_ In a foxhole with Eoghan Quigg

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

@dank_ackroyd

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 month

@joelgolby 😎

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Ash

@ashmallerr

8 months

Me after just looking at a Lime Soda: Ive had hangovers you people wouldn't believe... nervous system on fire off the shoulder of Orion..I watched my own arse give up in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All that suffering will be lost in time, like tears in rain, time to die

Ruth Husko

@dank_ackroyd

8 months

People who say things like ‘oh I just don’t seem to get hangovers’ huh interesting have you tried getting absolutely shitfaced

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Ash

@ashmallerr

9 months

Who was the last person to get famous for being a mistress? Doesn’t happen anymore

Ruth Husko

@dank_ackroyd

9 months

Forgot Rebecca Loos existed until @ashmallerr reminded me. Now there's a blast from the past and by blast I mean ‘wanking off’ and by past I mean ‘a pig’ 👍

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

Matt Hancock, Chris Moyles, and Sean Walsh all in the jungle this time then. Proper Fathers4Justice vibes

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Ash

@ashmallerr

3 months

@RossMcCaff I’d get drunk and up telling someone outside my immediate circle before immediately going full Rat Liotta at the end of goodfellas, a paranoid mess

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

@notmacksy

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@calvinrobinson I used to live a few doors down from the local Mosque and they did more for the community in terms of events & organising help than any church I’ve seen do. Every year Iftar basically turned our street into a giant banquet. You wanna take a leaf out of their book pal!

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@ashmallerr

10 months

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@Jackawill1

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Ash

@ashmallerr

3 months

@_andrewkerr_ The kids Piñata. The holy martyr. The royal charter. The marrakech barter.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

@paul_haine His insta account ‘londondeadpubs’ is really good

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

The Mask is ten times better than Peaky Blinders and yet we don’t see groups of lads dressed like this for a night on the town/the races/axe throwing

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

@_andrewkerr_

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@tom_usher_ Cancel internet, switch to giff gaff (Alcatel burner phones are reasonably priced). Get a box TV with built in DVD player (ensuring screen size is 28 inch or less). Treat every room outside your bedroom as The Outside. Batch cook beans in kettle. Simples.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

6 months

Referring to any male colleagues with 2 day stubble as ‘my fellow Movembros’ and bombarding them all with this gif every 15 minutes until I get sent home

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@BeingCalum I wonder what curry she goes for, im guessing Tesco Korma but I’m really hoping they do a product line that’s literally just called ‘Tesco Curry’. Also, I bet her meal deal selekky is fucking bleak too

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Ash

@ashmallerr

3 months

3 pint buzz is goated when having spent a day at work with no pints is the vibe

Duncan

@ketaminedrams

3 months

3 pints is as close to god as we ever get

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

Suella Braverman more like Cruella Braverman I said

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@deathofbuckley

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

Wonder how this guy is getting on

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a Training and Operational Support Lead

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

Ian & Myra, Fred & Rose, Gerry & Kate… Holly & Phil?

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

@_andrewkerr_ Keep the tunes comin Fitzy! Nearly finished my shift the tunes are keeping me goin!

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Ash

@ashmallerr

13 days

@mcandidate No Tod No Cry

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

Don’t mind me, I just jumped on here and called a BrexShitter a spunktrumpet

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 months

Big Jasper + Tony Iommi X White Christmas = Black Carrott

Ruth Husko

@dank_ackroyd

2 months

Them: You better not be watching Jasper Carrott performing a cover of ‘Caroline’ by Status Quo with Bev Bevan on drums and Tony Iommi on guitar that also segues into ‘White Christmas’ for some reason when I get there My goofy ass:

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@ashmallerr

2 months

@_andrewkerr_

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Ash

@ashmallerr

5 months

@robpalkwriter Coriolanus: the new platform revolutionising the way Whitehall does payroll

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

Thinking about that Black eyed peas song where Fergie says ‘I’m so 2008, you’re so 2000 and LATE”

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Ash

@ashmallerr

11 months

@dandouglas 1998. Tarrant on TV playing a saucy danish condom advert. Trigger finger resting on the on the tellys on/off button (remote was broken). Ready to switch off the Amstrad and throw myself back on to the single bed in one swift move at a moments notice. That’s the discipline.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 months

@clive_mart1n I think what’s been lost (certainly in my city) is town centre clubs when you can rock up without a ticket and just pay £5/10 OTD and hear some decent residents play out. Seems like *good* music events are now tickets in advance jobs in out-the-way venues

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

I think the dubbed versions of the footsoldier films really help the viewer lean into their kitsch euro vibe, which is how they should be enjoyed. It’s Winding-Refn through a pub coke filter.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

@dank_ackroyd Leanne Shag

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

@tristandross Tried ‘ice pop’ flavour once and was astonished it got signed off for mass production, let alone become popular. Apart from some bottom shelf spirits it’s honestly the most rank tasting drink I’ve ever tried

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

@_andrewkerr_ Winston Marshall sounds like some old skool brand of tobacco, proper serious gear. “50 grams of Winston Marshall please” “regular or Diplomat?” “Diplomat please”

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Ash

@ashmallerr

5 months

Just been Miller & Carter

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 months

@_andrewkerr_ “Autoglass repair, autoglass replace” on a loop as his lifeless head hits the button on the control desk that cuts to commercials

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 months

@_andrewkerr_ Country’s fucked, nothing works, and then you look at this and just think Britain really took its eye off the ball a long time ago

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@thugclive First album released 17 years ago, I suppose we’ve reached that point in the cycle. I fully expect TikTok to jump on ‘Stars in their eyes’ by Just Jack any day now

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Ash

@ashmallerr

10 months

I remember buying a knockoff Papa Roach hoody in 2000 before binning it in shame about 9 months later cus it didn’t reflect my new, grown up tastes (Incubus).

The New York Times

@nytimes

10 months

A growing group among Generation Z is listening to nu metal bands for the first time. Bands like Deftones and Slipknot are resonating with younger fans, thanks to TikTok, the Y2K revival and, of course, enduring teenage angst.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

5 months

@clive_mart1n I went to a book festival in 2016 and saw Joey Barton in conversation promoting his memoir followed by Karl Ove Knausgaard. That was my Woodstock

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Ash

@ashmallerr

5 months

@_andrewkerr_ Scoffing mini kievs & breaded prawn bites now, but they do it on a baking hot Tuesday in June during a hosepipe ban?

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Ash

@ashmallerr

3 months

@_andrewkerr_ Need to redistribute some buffalo wings my G

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Ash

@ashmallerr

6 months

Just a fucking Grade A Whopper this lad

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 months

@_andrewkerr_ Doing that move then segue straight into pretending-to-walk-down-the-stairs behind the sofa 🔥

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Ash

@ashmallerr

9 months

@thugclive ‘We dropped out the rat race to begin our Bao Bun journey..”

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@secrettracksuit @LMAsaysno Slim ‘novellas’ in public a big 🚩 too. If your -250 page book was that good you’d have read it in a single sitting the night before pal.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

The Mask (1994) is on 5*Star right now. Best film about cocaine ever made

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 months

Marchioness of Cholmondeley sounds like a very moody Rugby pub in a provincial market town, but had a function room out back where the local kids put D&B nights on 3 times a year (4 DJs, roughly 29 MCs)

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@marwoldeb These:

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Ash

@ashmallerr

11 months

@thugclive Aside from the last-chopper-out of-Saigon vibes of the stone circle on a Monday afternoon when you’ve failed to score a lift home and your phones dead.. worst vibe has to be some amnesty international + Beatboxing type situation.. probably in a bandstand amongst the main traders

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

@dank_ackroyd Mad how that colour shirt was exclusively a 96 to 99 thing. No one wore it before or after.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

8 months

“Triple blueberry lemon elf bar pls boss”

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Ash

@ashmallerr

9 months

@_andrewkerr_ See a guy with that hat on and you know hes got at least 70 loose green rizlas on his person

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@ashmallerr

9 months

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

The names Sex. David Sex.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

16 days

@_andrewkerr_

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

@ecto_fun Laura Purrmer

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

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Ash

@ashmallerr

5 months

Smoking Crack on the tube is low-key goated when at at least his phone wasn’t on loudspeaker is the vibe

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

Ruth Husko

@dank_ackroyd

7 months

Can’t believe I’ve lived in London for three years and I’ve just seen my first bloke in a beret

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Ash

@ashmallerr

7 months

@_andrewkerr_

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 months

West Midlands gothic

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Ash

@ashmallerr

11 months

@tom_usher_ “You see me doing liquor store holdups with a ‘talk to your mates’ tattoo on my chest?”

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

@alrightfans Shameless. You just know they are gagging to get a regular gig on gogglebox

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 month

POV: you are a block of my housemates Anchor spread in the fridge and I’m about to take some of you

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Ash

@ashmallerr

10 months

Me and my friends would��ve killed people taking pictures in the cinema with hammers I can tell you that much

potato bun

@erewhonsmoothie

10 months

Were you people raised by wolves stop taking pictures of the screen during movies

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Ash

@ashmallerr

11 months

The absolute backbone of the terrestrial televisual ethos. Cut any of these rentagobs open and they’ve got the word FREEVIEW running through them like a stick of rock

Clive Martin

@clive_mart1n

11 months

You know you're watching an absolute pile of shit when any of this mob turn up. The 5STAR airborne division

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Ash

@ashmallerr

8 months

@StephenCVGraham “No wayI love the Boosh too, as I am also so random!”

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Ash

@ashmallerr

4 months

Calvin Robinson digging secret tunnels under CEX

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Ash

@ashmallerr

1 year

@tom_usher_ Got on the smack just for the redemption-arc clout he thought the ‘my drug hell’ interviews would give him

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Ash

@ashmallerr

16 days

April 26th and I still can’t spread the butter. 9 degrees outside and it’s just sat there like a block of hash

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Ash

@ashmallerr

11 months

@joemuggs Boy in da corner for me. After 20 years of listening I’m still never less than *very fucking into it* when I stick it on.

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Ash

@ashmallerr

2 years

@DankAckroyd Even less folk talking about how in 1979 the BBC commissioned ‘Shoestring’, starring Trevor Eve as a Bristol based Private eye with a history of mental illness moonlighting as a radio DJ to solve cases.

"Shoestring" TV Intro

As Wikipedia explains, "'Shoestring' was a BBC television show set in Bristol [England]. It featured a private detective with his own show on Radio West, the...

www.youtube.com

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Ash

@ashmallerr

3 months

@_Ash_Clark Yep. I thought one of the key takeaways from The film was not that it was saying anything revelatory or new, just that it is saying *it* now

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