After I was convicted of murder and sentenced to 26 years in prison, when the earth dropped out from beneath me, and global shame rained down on top of me, I had my first ever epiphany.
/thread
Does my name belong to me? My face? What about my life? My story? Why does my name refer to events I had no hand in? I return to these questions because others continue to profit off my name, face, & story without my consent. Most recently, the film
#STILLWATER
.
/ a thread
People keep telling me I resemble Amy Coney Barrett. I do! In that neither of us are qualified for the supreme court.
@nbcsnl
you know where to find me.
When I was in prison, one of the saddest days each year was Xmas, the day I most wanted to see my family & couldn't. Today I'm thinking about everyone incarcerated. No matter who you are or what you did (or didn't) do, you deserve family.
A few months ago, in that blurry haze of new motherhood, I left my infant daughter Eureka on the couch for just a few seconds. She rolled and slipped and tumbled to the floor, hitting her head, then burst out crying. /a thread to
#SaveMelissaLucio
#STILLWATER
was “directly inspired by the Amanda Knox saga.” Director Tom McCarthy tells Vanity Fair, “he couldn’t help but imagine how it would feel to be in Knox’s shoes.” ...But that didn’t inspire him to ask me how it felt to be in my shoes.
This is a picture of me in the prison yard in the thick of all of this. Everyone is going through something, even when they're smiling. If that sounds like you, I hope reading this helps.
It matters what you call a thing. Calling that event the “Lewinsky Scandal” fails to acknowledge the vast power differential, & I’m glad that more people are now referring to it as “the Clinton Affair” which names it after the person with the most agency in that series of events.
Don’t do what
@deadinepete
did when reviewing
#STILLWATER
for
@deadline
, referring to me as a convicted murderer while conveniently leaving out my acquittal. I asked him to correct it. No response.
And if you’re going to “leave the Amanda Knox case behind,” and “fictionalize everything around it,” maybe don’t use my name to promote it. You’re not leaving the Amanda Knox case behind very well if every single review mentions me.
Someone just reminded me that on this day, 14 years ago, I was convicted of murder. I didn't even remember. I've got a baby in my arms. I'm not sleeping more than 3 hours at a stretch. I barely know what day it is. I've got more important annivesaries to mark. That's freedom.
Let me stop you right there. That story, my story, is not about an American woman studying abroad “involved in some kind of sensational crime.” It’s about an American woman NOT involved in a sensational crime, and yet wrongfully convicted.
I would love nothing more than for people to refer to the events in Perugia as “The murder of Meredith Kercher by Rudy Guede,” which would place me as the peripheral figure I should have been, the innocent roommate.
And if you must refer to the “Amanda Knox saga,” maybe don’t call it, as the
@nytimes
did in profiling Matt Damon, “the sordid Amanda Knox saga.” Sordid: morally vile. Not a great adjective to have placed next to your name. Repeat something often enough, and people believe it.
The result of this is that 15 years later, my name is the name associated with this tragic series of events, of which I had zero impact on. Meredith’s name is often left out, as is Rudy Guede’s. When he was released from prison recently, this was the NY Post headline.
It refers to the shoddy police work, prosecutorial tunnel vision, and refusal to admit their mistakes that led the Italian authorities to wrongfully convict me, twice. In those four years of wrongful imprisonment and 8 years of trial, I had near-zero agency.
In the wake of
#metoo
, more people are coming to understand how power dynamics shape a story. Who had the power in the relationship between Bill Clinton and
@MonicaLewinsky
? The president or the intern?
Turns out, she asked the killer to help her get rid of her roommate. She didn’t mean for him to kill her, but her request indirectly led to the murder. How do you think that impacts my reputation?
I want to pause right here on that phrase: “the Amanda Knox saga.” What does that refer to? Does it refer to anything I did? No. It refers to the events that resulted from the murder of Meredith Kercher by a burglar named Rudy Guede.
Don’t blame me for the fact that others put the focus on me instead of Meredith. And when you refer to these events, understand that how you talk about it affects the people involved: Meredith’s family, my family,
@Raffasolaries
, and me.
This focus on me led many to complain that Meredith had been forgotten. But of course, who did they blame for that? Not the Italian authorities. Not the press. Me! Somehow it was my fault that the police and media focused on me at Meredith’s expense.
What’s crazier is that, in reality, the authorities already had the killer in custody. He was convicted before my trial even began. They didn’t need to find him. And even so, they pressed on in persecuting me, because they didn’t want to admit they had been wrong.
Everyone else in that “saga” had more influence over events than I did. The erroneous focus on me by the authorities led to an erroneous focus on me by the press, which shaped how I was viewed. In prison, I had no control over my public image, no voice in my story.
This new film by director Tom McCarthy, starring Matt Damon, is “loosely based” or “directly inspired by” the “Amanda Knox saga,” as Vanity Fair put it in a for-profit article promoting a for-profit film, neither of which I am affiliated with.
Malcolm Gladwell’s last book, Talking to Strangers, has a whole chapter analyzing my case. He reached out on the eve of publication to ask if he could use excerpts of my audiobook in his audiobook. He didn’t think to ask for an interview before forming his conclusions about me.
Now,
#STILLWATER
is by no means the first thing to rip off my story without my consent at the expense of my reputation. There was of course the terrible Lifetime
@LMN
movie that I sued them over, resulting in them cutting a dream sequence where I was depicted as killing Meredith.
He didn’t plunge the knife per se, but he’s definitely at fault somehow. His name is Damien Matthews, and he starred in the Jackson Burne spy films. He works with Tim McClatchy, who’s a Harvey Weinstein type. It’s loosely based on reality. Shouldn't bother Matt or Tom, right?
He became interested in the family dynamics of the “Amanda Knox saga.” “Who are the people that are visiting [her], and what are those relationships? Like, what’s the story around the story?” I have a lot to say about that, & would have told McCarthy...if he’d ever reached out.
In the film, the character based on me gives a tip to her father to help find the man who really killed her friend. Matt Damon tracks him down. This fictionalizing erases the corruption and ineptitude of the authorities.
Which brings me to my screenplay idea! It’s directly inspired by the life of Matt Damon. He’s an actor, celebrity, etc. Except I’m going to fictionalize everything around it, and the Damon-like character in my film is involved in a murder.
Unless you're Melissa Lucio, whose daughter died from just such an accident, Melissa Lucio, whom the state of Texas plans to execute on April 27th for a crime that never even occurred.
Had a 3 hour conversation with
@joerogan
, who was genuine, thoughtful, compassionate, and humble. We need more such conversations, less judgment, fewer hot takes. Thank you, Joe!
I was accused of being involved in a death orgy, a sex-game gone wrong, when I was nothing but platonic friends with Meredith. But the fictionalized me in
#STILLWATER
does have a sexual relationship with her murdered roommate.
But, all this I mostly forgive. I get it. There’s money to be made, and you have no obligation to approach me. What I’m more bothered by is how this film, “directly inspired by the Amanda Knox saga, “fictionalizes” me and this story.
But I know that my wrongful conviction, and subsequent trials, became the story that people obsessed over. I know they’re going to call it the “Amanda Knox saga” into the future. That being the case, I have a few small requests:
A few years ago, there was the Fox series Proven Innocent (
@InnocentOnFOX
) which was developed and marketed as “What if Amanda Knox became a lawyer?” The first I heard from the show’s makers was when they had the audacity to ask me to help them promote it on the eve of its debut.
I never asked to become a public person. The Italian authorities and global media made that choice for me. And when I was acquitted and freed, the media and the public wouldn’t allow me to become a private citizen ever again.
By fictionalizing away my innocence, my total lack of involvement, by erasing the role of the authorities in my wrongful conviction, McCarthy reinforces an image of me as a guilty and untrustworthy person.
McCarthy told Vanity Fair that “Stillwater’s ending was inspired not by the outcome of Knox’s case, but by the demands of the script he and his collaborators had created.” Cool, so I wonder, is the character based on me actually innocent?
Puerto Rico has more people than:
Iowa
Mississippi
Arkansas
Kansas
Nevada
New Mexico
West Virginia
Nebraska
Idaho
Hawaii
Maine
New Hampshire
Rhode Island
Montana
Delaware
South Dakota
Alaska
North Dakota
Vermont
Wyoming
and yet:
0 senators,
No presidential vote,
Pays taxes
I continue to be accused of “knowing something I’m not revealing,” of “having been involved somehow, even if I didn’t plunge the knife.” So Tom McCarthy’s fictionalized version of me is just the tabloid conspiracy guilter version of me.
And with Matt Damon’s star power, both are sure to profit handsomely off of this fictionalization of “the Amanda Knox saga” that is sure to leave plenty of viewers wondering, “Maybe the real-life Amanda was involved somehow.”
“We decided, ‘Hey, let’s leave the Amanda Knox case behind,’” McCarthy tells Vanity Fair. “But let me take this piece of the story—an American woman studying abroad involved in some kind of sensational crime and she ends up in jail—and fictionalize everything around it.”
I have not been allowed to return to the relative anonymity I had before Perugia. My only option is to sit idly by while others continue to distort my character, or fight to restore my good reputation that was wrongfully destroyed.
I was hounded by paparazzi, my story and trauma was (and is) endlessly recycled for entertainment, and in the process, I’ve been accused of shifting attention away from the memory of Meredith Kercher, of being a media whore.
I bet we could have a fascinating conversation about identity, and public perception, and who should get to exploit a name, face, and story that has entered the public imagination.
I joke, but of course, I understand that Tom McCarthy and Matt Damon have no moral obligation to consult me when profiting by telling a story that distorts my reputation in negative ways. And I reiterate my offer to interview them on Labyrinths.
I went back to school and fellow students photographed me surreptitiously, people who lived in my apartment building invented stories for the tabloids, I worked a minimum wage job at a used bookstore, only to be confronted by stalkers at the counter.
I'm thankful I'm not in prison. I'm thankful for my mom, who would have traded places with me in a second. I'm thankful for my whole family who never gave up on saving me. I'm thankful I'm alive and healthy and have the opportunity to spread kindness and joy and nuanced thinking.
16 years after my arrest, I'm still on trial in Italy, still fighting to clear my name. Meanwhile, the man who murdered my roommate is free from prison, still accusing me, and still, it seems, harming young women. Are we living in a simulation?
Occasionally I joke about my wrongful conviction & imprisonment in Italy. I'm allowed to joke about my own trauma. I didn't joke about the Kercher's. I didn't kill Meredith. Rudy Guede did, & you know it. Stop exploiting Meredith's name to victim blame me. You're pathetic.
I can think of a 21-year-old British girl named Meredith Kercher who had a far worse time than you in Italy. Remember her?
How dare you make a joke of it.. you disgusting piece of work.
The feeling of clarity, though, was in realizing that however small, cruel, sad, and unfair this life was, it was *my* life. Mine to make meaning out of, mine to live to the best of my ability. There was no more waiting. There was only now.
No. Not the "Monica Lewinsky affair."
Try: "The Bill Clinton affair."
Try: "The Clinton impeachment scandal."
Try: "That time the most powerful man in the world lied under oath about his extra-marital relationship with an intern half his age."
The Monica Lewinsky affair raised moral and cultural issues that reverberate with greater force today.
Issues that will inevitably be revisited by Impeachment: American Crime Story, a ten-part dramatisation of the whole squalid saga of adultery, betrayal and political conspiracy
I've just returned from the annual
@InnocenceNtwrk
Conference, a gathering of exonerees, innocence lawyers, forensic experts, and advocates. This year, over 200 exonerees attended, representing over 6000 years of wrongful imprisonment.
That was entirely in my power. So I did that. Doing sit ups, walking laps, writing a letter, reading a book – these things were enough to make a day worth living. I didn’t know if they were enough to make a life worth living, but I remained open and curious to the possibility.
But when women are wrongfully convicted, in nearly 70% of cases it's for crimes that never occurred - deaths by accident, disease or suicide, and in nearly a third of cases, it's for the deaths of their own children or children in their care.
.
This is the girl whose teammates called her “Foxy Knoxy.” This is the girl the world gleefully twisted into a psycho slut. On this
#InternationalWomensDay
, I’m thinking about my daughter, and hoping she can grow up in a world that treats her better than it treated me.
/🧵
In many ways, though I’m now free, legally vindicated, a woman with a career in the arts (as I’d always dreamed), an advocate for justice (which I never dreamed), a wife with a loving husband, a mother with a joyous child...I’m still walking that tightrope.
People often assume that the worst my moment of my life was that first guilty verdict, where I collapsed in the courtroom. Or that nothing could be worse than those years trapped in a cell. They’re wrong. The worst moment of my life was my interrogation. A thread:
It's a rite of passage, I learned, the first time your child falls, that first moment of parental negligence, that first jolt of unexpected pain that shocks them (and you) into tears. But an hour later, they're okay and you're okay, and life goes on. Unless it doesn't.
Every year on Oct 3rd, Don Saulo, the prison chaplain who became my best friend over those four years, writes me to celebrate my freedom-versary. 12 years ago today, he sat with me for hours, talking, playing music, waiting...
If you really wanted to protect the unborn, you would support sex-ed, parental leave, and food stamps. You'd fight against domestic violence, human trafficking, and poverty. Banning abortion doesn't stop abortion. It stops safe abortion. And it hurts women.
Without fail, whenever I make a joke related to my wrongful conviction, I'm accused of being crass and insensitive--under the assumption that I'm making a joke at the expense of my roommate who was murdered by a burglar named Rudy Guede. I call this the single victim fallacy.
/🧵
One of the unexpected gifts from my wrongful conviction is that I have become acutely aware of the cognitive biases that we are all susceptible to, and thus better able to avoid them in my own thinking.
/ a thread
That was a big question, one I couldn't answer in its grandest sense. But there was a smaller version of that question: How can I make my life worth living *today?* I could answer that question, repeatedly.
The conviction, the sentence, the prison cell—*this* was my life. There was no life I *should* have been living. There was only my life, this life, unfolding before me.
Mom: Saw you on the news this morning.
Me: Oh, great. What did I "do" now?
Mom: "This day in history Amanda Knox was wrongfully convicted."
I count it a victory that I spent all day sewing my future husband's wedding outfit, and this anniversary totally slipped my mind.
I held her against my chest, crying myself, trying to calm her, feeling like the worst mother in the world. My mom reassured me that I'd hit my own head in the exact same way more than once. And sure enough, Eureka was fine. Not even a bruise.
One problem w/ Elon's claim that "paying for verification is about equal treatment" is not all users face equal risk of impersonation.
Trolls have gone so far as to make a fake CNN to announce my suicide. Making this kind of thing easier on twitter doesn't make it a better place
It was a sadness brimming with energy beneath the surface, because I was alive with myself and my sanity, and the freeing feeling of seeing reality clearly, however sad that reality was.
The print edition of this
@nytimes
profile of me is out today! If you've wondered about why I was so careful about revealing the birth of my daughter, here's a hint...
The first time I attended the conference, I had to be dragged there by my mother. It was 2013, I was free and living in Seattle, but I had just been reconvicted in absentia. I was fearing extradition, watching my life evaporate before my eyes, again. I felt so utterly alone.
I imagined all of those futures in vivid detail so that they no longer felt like shadows creeping over me from the realm of unconscious nightmares. And that allowed me to see my actual life for what it was, and to ask myself: How do I make *that* life worth living?
But the women I met there, women like Sabrina Butler and Kristine Bunch, shook me, for they had been accused of killing their own children. They had not been allowed to grieve the deaths of their babies, so quickly had the state turned on them, shoved them into a cell.
These were men who'd each spent over a decade in prison for crimes they hadn't committed. By the end of that weekend, I had a new family. A family that was mostly men, men who'd lived hard lives before their wrongful convictions, many of them men of color.