kelso @_severusvape_ Twitter profile

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kelso

@_severusvape_

11 months

Anyone have an unsettling feeling the whole sub thing is a hoax & they’re trying to once again distract us?… asking for a friend

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Someone tell me no

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Cereal in the morning:★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Cereal at night:★ ★ ★ ★ ★

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Funny how we shame saggy boobs when balls exist

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Diapers & wipes are great Christmas presents. Diapers & wipes are great Christmas presents. Diapers & wipes are great Christmas presents. Diapers & wipes are great Christmas presents.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

😂💀

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

I feel so terrible for laughing at this but omg 😂😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

10 days

Front desk called and said the ppl underneath us are complaining about stomping…….. I’m sorry… my 4.5 yr old AND dog are trapped in a literal room when they had a house to be crazy in less than a week ago… so they’re going to be a little extra……

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Literally 🥴

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kelso

@_severusvape_

14 days

Waking up this morning I did not think everything my kids have ever known, all my husband has worked for, all I’ve ever wished for would be completely gone. Just gone.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Like this tweet if your house is an absolute dumpster fire right now

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

You’re not a bad mom cause you had a bad day. You’re not a bad mom cause you had a bad day. You’re not a bad mom cause you had a bad day. You’re not a bad mom cause you had a bad day.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

82 coochies have followed me since this morning .. WE RIDE AT DAWN BITCHES

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Homemade creamy garlic chicken 😋 Patting myself on the back for this one!! 😍

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

✨ Mary Janes are cooler ✨

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kelso

@_severusvape_

13 days

Yall.. when I tell you GET HOME INSURANCE, I fuckin MEAN IT. They’re setting us up in a hotel until they can find us a rental, while we go through the process of a rebuild.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

13 days

cant believe me and my babies survived this. Blessed & grateful that I’m able to snuggle and hold them right now. Thank you god for putting your hedge of protection over us, as our neighbors weren’t so lucky. 1 my sons room 2 my room 3 back of house 4 where me and the kids were

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

@KinggKierra @xxlalarosexx 🌞

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

NOW WAIT A DAMN MINUTE ….. 👀

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kelso

@_severusvape_

11 months

Call me a garbage picker all you want but this was too good to pass up on the side of the curb!!!! 🤯 After 2hrs of scrubbing my baby has a FREE playhouse 🤪 it’s just like the one I had when I was a kid so I’m excited for him to make some of the same memories! 🙂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

My fiancé just called us the “coochie colony” 💀😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

13 days

Now this.. this is mind blowing… I am humbled & amazed by the outpouring of love and support that has been showered upon my family during this difficult period. The selflessness and generosity of those who have stepped forward to help us has been truly remarkable. —

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

@therealbbymula 🫐

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 months

When tf did they start placing a HUNDRED AND FIVE dollar authorization hold on gas at the Shell???? The first notification had me SHITTING my pants..

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

I hate being so awkward, i always wanna reply & talk to people but then I get halfway through the tweet and is like “ahh this is weird” or I over share so then I feel embarrassed and decided to back out and delete it

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

THIS IS THE ONE.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

@xxlalarosexx 🥳

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

You instantly know what kind of day it’s going to be when your kid is up before the sun 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

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kelso

@_severusvape_

10 days

Almost makes me want to go down there snd just tell them how shitty things have been and im TRYING to keep my kid sane, im TRYING to keep myself above water. Give some grace… you’re in a hotel… you’re going to have to deal with things you normally don’t when you’re home….

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kelso

@_severusvape_

13 days

STOP IT RIGHT NOW 😭 you got me bawling, thank you Morgan!! @mamamorgann

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Okay I wasn’t gonna ask cause I didn’t think anyone would care… BUT I have an fb chat where a bunch of us find cheap / FREE items from Amazon… does anyone want to be added to it? *i will have you add you as a friend first but feel free to delete me after you’re in the chat*

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kelso

@_severusvape_

6 months

Graylen Joseph - Dean Meredith 🩵 •• 7lbs 3oz of pure perfection ••

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

I cannot watch a show or movie without the subtitles on .. you’d be hearing “what’d they say” every 20 seconds 😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

1 year

Couldn’t hold it back any longer🙈 sooo surprise! 🥰 Baby Meredith #2 coming soon 😇 (Shhh if we’re friends on fb.)

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Ok.. I couldn’t wait yall. 😍😩 my baby LOVES his Halloween costume 🦖

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kelso

@_severusvape_

12 days

finallly made it to our hotel with these two sweet & crazy boys! Thank god for clean clothes and finally being able to bathe! 🙌🏻🩵

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

I’m loggin TF off 😂😂😂😂😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Just hit my 100th blockity 🎉😂 anyone else have 100+ ppl blocked?😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

4 months

@LovingMummaBear Huhhh???? My dad was born with two of them maybe he got yours 😂💀

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

If you didn’t come from a healthy family, make sure a healthy family comes from you.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Walmart worker just yelled “excuse me ma’am, but…“ as hes walkin over 2 me, points and goes “just remember these are for kids” as he points to my trix cereal I literally just stood there.. 🤣🤣 Sorry derek but I have crippling social anxiety, you cant publicly joke with me 😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Other than salt & pepper what are your TOP THREE spices you ALWAYS have on hand??

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kelso

@_severusvape_

11 days

Feeling extra special this Mother’s Day 🥰 First time ever trying crumbl cookies & I am EXCITED 😍

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kelso

@_severusvape_

5 months

🐸 lil frog 🐸

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kelso

@_severusvape_

6 months

Let’s have us a baby, handsome! 🩵 Mom & dad are here to keep us safe & sound!

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

🙌🏻😩 My dad >> yours Love his surprise supply drops ⛑

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kelso

@_severusvape_

1 year

My dad gave me his old phone and these are the pictures he’s specifically left on it. He said “I hope they make you smile even though you don’t want too.” 😭

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Before I agree to 2022 I want to read the terms and conditions.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

6 months

Big brother came to meet him and take us home 🥰💚

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Not sure how you’re gonna 2x $0.00 but go off sis 😂😅

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

My fiancés grandma: “do you guys smoke roach weed by chance?” Us: “uh duh” Grandma: “okay good cause I have some and I was just going to throw them out.” *Us seeing the jar*……. 👁👄👁 She headass said “tHrOw tHeM aWaY” I’m baffled 😂😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Def cheatin’

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kelso

@_severusvape_

1 year

Our pre-dinner dessert yesterday🧁😋

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kelso

@_severusvape_

11 months

My hubby is easy to buy gifts for 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

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kelso

@_severusvape_

1 month

They could never make me hate you, no matter how much of a cheap b!tch you are

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kelso

@_severusvape_

1 year

I love “get these out of my house” toy lots! 🤣🤣 Just picked this up for only $25!! 🤯

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kelso

@_severusvape_

1 year

Was unfollowed by one of my “favorites” on here simply for being friends with someone they don’t like/get along with. As much as I want to be sad about it.. I’m not. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 months

Scrolling thru my fb feed and I seen this beaut 😍 @mamamorgann

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

@xoxmarina_ 🐓

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kelso

@_severusvape_

4 months

Some of you have never microwaved chips with shredded cheese on top and it really shows

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Ok but I like this one too, but I want to know YOUR combination!! I’ll go first C5$Y

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Lost Betty White and now Joe Gatto is leaving Impractical Jokers… That’s it.. the world isn’t worth living anymore

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Would y’all still love me and talk to me if I made my profile private? 😖

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

This meme is HILARIOUS & as SAD as this episode was .. I admired how they shown different reactions to trauma, because we all cope differently.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

I. FUCKING. LOVE. THIS.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

I promise my kids shin bruises are not from me beating him 😂 I just never prepared myself for being a boy mom and he just lunges and throws himself off everything 😂😂😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

You don’t need a lot of people in your corner, you just need the right people ✨🤍

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Put some respect on her name! 👏🏻👏🏻 @Mariska

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

All I want for Christmas is an EBT card with no spending limit

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

If the word “coochie” offends you or makes you uncomfortable I am not the right mutual for you & go ahead and unfollow me now. 🤷🏽‍♀️ cause the ride only gets more wild from here on out lmao

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

REALLY trying not to freak out.. yesterday during khydens cast removal he was a little freaked out by the sound of the saw machine so he was kind of fidgeting and jerking, well eventually he starting saying “ow mom ow” all while screaming bloody murder…

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

@xxlalarosexx @kayyyyb_ 🦋

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

“As a daughter I understood, forgave, and accepted. But as a parent , I don’t think I will ever understand”

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kelso

@_severusvape_

6 months

“Get some rest” “take a nap” “relax” I can’t, I’m too busy staring at my beautiful newborn. I’m in literal awe at how perfect he is.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

1 year

Hi ☺️

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Got a letter in the mail saying my mortgage payment went down by $200 AND we got a $517 escrow check that from overpayment on our property taxes. BEST NEWS I’ve gotten in a loooong time. 🙌🏻

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

My fiancés close friend just started working with him.. Chaz said he’s offered him half of his lunch and his friend declined.. well guess what.. can’t decline a lunch prepared for YOU! 😂 it’s not the healthiest of them all but atleast neither of them are starvin @ work🤷🏽‍♀️

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

💚 Please ❤️

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Off subject I have crap ton of new mama followers, let’s start a thread showing off our perfect little babes! I’ll start with my handsome son 🥺💚

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Fb ppl aren’t too much of a fan of the coochie colony 💀

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Y’all pumped my fiancés head so high he’s thinking about trying a new trend…. “The ballsack bros” 😂💀

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Silent shoutout to the VERY WELL RAISED two girls that were riding their horses down our road.. heard Khyden screaming about the “Neigh neighs” out of the window, then completely turned around and walked right up in our yard so Khyden could pet and see their pretty horses!!

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

If losing Betty White doesn’t describe exactly how FUCKED 2021 was idk what would.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

8 days

Going to look at another rental tomorrow, it’s an “apartment” but it’s literally like a house… they’re huge and super nice.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

26 days

Bruh I just *HOPEFULLY* sold my car that Chaz totaled. I really hope this guy is fr and gets this POS out of my yard lmao

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

“How did you stop drinking pop??” Me: 😋😋😋

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Can you tell our wifi went out? 😂😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

1 year

Not the place that my car was stolen from last night bagging my alcohol up and keeping it safe lol

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

@mamax2xo 🔮

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

I see so many ppl asking for coochie names, drop some below ⬇️ to help our fellow coochs out 🙌🏻

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Happy balloon day to myself 🎈

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kelso

@_severusvape_

1 month

Another lame attempt at trying to make eating “fun” for my 4yr old. He loooooves marshmello so he’s doing his own personal concert for him 🥲😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

6 months

Figuring out that Stanley is replacing her car is the wholesomeness I needed today.

Mesh🇧🇧

@rahsh33m

6 months

This cup company should start making cars 😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Lmk if anyone knows the answer 😅

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kelso

@_severusvape_

3 years

Not going to lie the way some people from Twitter have literally ruined other ppls lives absolutely terrifies me from ever speaking my opinion on anything on here. Like phew some of y’all are real life crazy.

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

🥀❤️‍🩹🌹

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

My neighbor gave Khyden this leap frog globe from like 2002, and Khyden loves it so much, I looked it up to see if they have any new versions of it, and they do and they’re soo cool but soo freaking expensive 😩 I may or may not make an impulse buy today 😅😂

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kelso

@_severusvape_

2 years

Fuckin seriously 🥴

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