Freelance Emperor ♔ @Workflow_33 Twitter profile

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Freelance Emperor ♔

7 months

#DataAnalysis #Stata #Tableau #R #SPSS #Reports #Writing #AdobePremiere #InferentialStatistics #DescriptiveStatistics #Regression #Analyis #DataVisualization #datacollection T-test Chi-Square #AN0VA Analysis, Z-test F-test

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Hii kijana ya Sugoi uwaga imejiaminia ata haiandikagi speech, inaitoanga kwa buruwein. 💛💛💛

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Siku hizi nikiona dem uwaga naona pesa nitaspend, a piece of my time she'll take na responsibilities mingi mingi kama za kukuwa in charge of someone's emotions alafu napiga hesabu nini nitapata in return for all that, najipata tu nimeshika shugli zangu.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Masomo bado ni important bro no matter what they say, ni kama insurance tu. Hujui kama gari itapata accident but you still pay for it. Same way hujui kama utapata job, but you keep pushing. It's better with it than without!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Before you say that a bitch loves you, make sure she has a job, a house and can pay her own bills. Only such a gal is capable of love. Hao wengine mostly ni basic needs wanatafuta in the name of love.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Tukiwa campo, a few years ago tu, tulikuwa tunateka pengtings tunaenda kuchill nao, na bash tumeweka ya meakins, ama tunaenda downtown kulewa majagi. Boy ako campo sai sidhani anapata hiyo privilege juu wababa wamekuwa on the rise na wasichana standards zimepanda. Tough times!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Kitambo used to hold convos na mtu afterwards naskia empty juu ya opening up too much. Had to do something about it. Siku hizi naeza hold a convo for an hour or two without talking about myself and that's some improvement bro.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Never understood why gals always repelled men who were extra nice to them, until I met a gal who was extra nice to me.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Unaflirt na dem online alafu time mshaa agree akam mtaa anapull up na Lexus RX430h na wewe ulidhani ni dem kama kina Wangari na Kanini, mawalking class. Kuzidisha wewe mwenyewe hauna gari. Hiyo ni extra pressure buana.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Ushago ukikuwa generous unasota quick fast. Everybody wants you to buy them something. Ata ule boy alikuwa class 6 ukiwa class 2 anataka umwachie za fegi. Mwingine ata humjui anasema alikuwa anakubeba ukiwa mtoto mdogo, anataka za jaba. Haha.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

"There is lanes to men.wengine wanaenda kupigana Congo mwingine anaruka ruka kwa counters za Marie stopes akatwe makende." Bruuuh, lmfao.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Sad state of affairs na serkaal haijali.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

Wanna see something weird? Go to Netflix, search for a series called Brand New Cherry Flavor, Season 1 Ep 4 minute 34. 🙊

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Dem anakunyamazia siku mzima akitry kukuonyesha vile she's mad at you na wewe saa hiyo you so happy vile umekuwa na a nice quiet day. Haha

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Ukijifunza kupika food poa cooking becomes the easiest house chore, ata food ya hoteli unajaribingi inakushinda. Shida ya bachelors inabakiaga hapo kwa mavyombo.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Ukiskia ploti ni ya agents na unatafuta nyumba, enda next tu. Wale ni wanyama. Utalipa rent vizuri for 12 months na ukikawia kulipa in the 13th month wakufungie nyumba. A human being could tell that something killed consistency yako ya kulipa, but agents ni mangurue.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Tangu nimalize campus nimeapply kazi moja tu. Learnt from other people's experiences that it is not worth my time kuapply kazi kama sijuani na mtu. The level of nepotism in this country is ridiculous. Anyways, I'm doing relatively fine na sioni nikiapply job ingine anytime soon.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Story ya Wanugu, Wacucu na Rasta ikaekwa kwa screens hiyo movie inaeza kuwa goated.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

If I were forced to pick a lesser evil, I'd pick dem mlevi over wa bhangi.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Kuna dem anaishingi kwa ploti yetu na boy wake. Leo asubuhi nimemuona akinunua breakfast akiwa amevaa bootyshot na nywele ikiwa shaggy, akaingia kwa ploti ingine hapa juu. Tuliongea na boy wake akanishoo hayuko around for the weekend ataenda ushago. Kimani anadinyiwa, haha.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

The Metro Guy was just doing his "ordinary" job but blessings followed him. Enyewe you don't have to try so much, you just need to get up. If it's your day, it's your day!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Living Wage Individual ya huku Kenya ni 22k. Watu wenye wana-earn more than 100k ni 2.9% of the population but tweeps watakuambia salary ya 100k ni peanuts unahitaji double or more ya that amount. Twitter is not a real place!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

"Will Smith is the absolute perfect case study on the emasculation of most modern men".

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Kuna jamaa alisema eti while driving his date to dinner phone yake(on vibrate) ili-go off in his pocket, akaangalia, text ilisema"oh my God he's so ugly". Kumbe ni his date mwenye amekaa hapo kando yake alikuwa anatumia her besties alafu accidentally akaingia kwake. Haha

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Yaani tunasumbuanaga na PayPal na kuna WorldRemit & Sendwave plus other hundreds of ways funds could be wired to us? We deserve the pain bro.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Nairobi kuacha drugs inahitaji level ya discipline iko out of this world. Utaacha aje na mabeshte wote ni walevi, kuna pub opposite gate ya ploti, pedi anaishi juu yako alafu stressors ziko left, right & centre saa zingine unataka kuhepa reality?

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Mtu anaachaga aje chats zinafika 500+ plus unread? Ukinitext lazima nitaopen hiyo text ata kama sireply. I hate having unread texts.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

So it's true women's libido increases as fertility wanes? A 36 year old lady is more likely to suck your soul dry more than a 26 yo? Wenye mmesample mtuambie kama ni ukweli ama ni propaganda.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Hii inafaa kuwa a court case

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Is this mans a 16 year old or something? What is this? 😂😂

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

So many single women in their 30s. Is it that the 'average' modern man is undesirable asf, women would rather be miserable than to settle or they are too empowered to be cuffed?

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

None of them shawties I treated nice ever calls my phone or comes looking for me. Only those I never gave a fuck about and was(me) toxic asf do. Two or three lessons to be learnt there!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Bro, wtf was this? 👀

KHAN'✨

@khanofkhans11_

2 years

Men. Reply with some of the reasons you stopped talking to a lady you were interested in:

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

Experiences za mtu na God/religion ni kama za a child na his/her mother. Utaskia mtu akisema hapendi his mom umshangae but bado ako na reasons zake. Kukuwa na mentality closed kama yako hunishtua sana btw.

Sukuna Arc

@KA1S3R_

1 year

Kuona msee akidoubt existence ya Mungu hunishtua sana btw.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Bruh, this is heartbreaking.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Imgn binadamu tungekuwa tunakula 3 times a year kama anacondas, we'd save a lot of money on food. Tweep anapotea TL for 3 months, mnaulizia alienda wapi mnaambiwa alimeza mbuzi last month, ako na 2 more digestion iishe, haha.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Most ibtches want financially stable men but ukiwauliza what they do umeanza kukuwa personal juu they only breathe for a living. All the while, wanataka dads and not boyfies, wa kuprovide basic needs like food and clothing juu their own dads failed.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

"Women be maturing earlier than men in all departments apart from financially, why?"

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Kuna jamaa inatumiwangwa vibaya na dem, inadanganywa, inafinyiliwa, inatusiwa, iko dryspell, inaibiwa pesa, ilitafutia dem kazi but hakuna kitu inagain kwa hiyo relationship. Ikipata chance ya kudump the b!tch inasema haitaki change. Jamaa ni the Kenyan Voter. Dwanzi sana!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Madem peng uwaga wanajipost once in a moonlight karibu uende inbox yao uwaambie waangushe ata kamoja recent. Komodo dragons nao uwaga wanajaza TL ama status na picha kila siku inabidi uwaMute.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Siku Mungai na huyo boy wake wataachana Kifee atakuwa field day haha

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Kuna kaschana flani kalikuwa kanaitwa Denique kalikuwa kanadrop bombs zile enzi. Kalienda wapi?

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Gaidi anakujanga kwa nyumba yako yenye you bought all the shit, yenye uwaga unalipa 100% of the bills on your own na bado anaskia ni kama anaeza make rules. Sasa imgn uanze kuishi kwake where she pays for everything? You'll never know peace. Heri kuna some hobo.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Kuna watu hawafai kushika drugs at all juu their likelihood ya kukuwa na psychosis iko higher than ya watu wengine but they are not aware of it, so they end up abusing the drugs alafu wanachizi but mabeshte zao wako tu sawa.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

*Cheers to 28...

Jaber is Jaber

@NimuKiarie

1 year

Cheers to 25🎉🎊🥳. Happy Birthday to me.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Huyo anasema hawaezi achana na mans wake juu they dated for 3 years. How many time do we remind them that Longevity is not a good relationship metric?

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Uwa na-share meals from same plates na my women. They call it romance, I call it paranoia. If it's kinyesi for supper tunakula wote babygal.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

If you pop up unannounced to my place wewe jua siko around. I will sit on the couch and listen to you knock lol. Huwezi kuwa na shugli zako alafu zikifail ndio unakumbuka I exist!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Ungepata babako ako na multiple affairs ungefanya nini? Tell your mom, keep it to yourself and blackmail him, tell your siblings ama just ignore?

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

Work extra hard na nyii wote mmevaa knock offs?

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

Walisema as women head to 4th floor sex drive inashindaniaga huko juu na kite but then married men kwa TL wenye wako na wives kwa hiyo age gap wanasema they are being denied their conjugal rights daily. Hapa 1+1 inaleta 3 bana.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Mtu kama Elon Musk alicode a whole game akiwa a 14 yo. Bill Gates aligrow place kulikuwa na computers na mtu kama mimi I owned a 'computer' after finishing high school, alafu useme we'd grow up kukuwa same people ata tungekuwa blessed na the same level of IQ? Never.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

Haha went to visit a certain gal na some yoghurt na tumatunda kiasi ananiuliza mbona I am always nice to her? In my mind I'm like relaaax, ni matunda na yoghurt tu buana😂😂😂

Mystic Man

@Denoh__

1 year

Kuna tweet ya blaze about vile mnatenda hawa madem hadi akipata genuine guy haamini,who has it? 😂😂😂😂

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Bruh, you wondered why after all the hard work, sacrifice and dedication mtu anaenda kwa baba like it ain't nothing na vitu zinarudi back to normal! What's the meaning of this life?

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Mans testifies that 30+ women will fuck you outta existence. Hahaha

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Ayaya kumbe ni ukweli mans ni mchoraji wa saba. Nimepata the unavailable tweet!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

@Biancawamu2 "My brother wants to marry this LADY, but I've issues..."

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Saw a post trolling Nyeri juu haina a pizza shop but to me, not having a pizza shop is a W.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Bruh even them niggas with the big 5 degrees are tarmacking. Ni kubaad. After masomo kukuwa commercialised, degrees became useless.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

"Americans are proof that having no problem is the worst problem you could have."

Jedediah Bila

@JedediahBila

1 year

Masculinity in 2023

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Unapataga pesa alafu all of a sudden your taste pia inapanda. Dopamine na satisfaction ya kupata kapesa always clogs your mind. By the time unarudi into your senses eti unafaa kusave 90% of the cash you earned is gone, haha. Kusave ni ngumu sana. Anyways life's for the living.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

HOW TO COOK OMENA. 1. Chemsha before frying and then adding spices. 2. While it simmers, put the heat at low temp. 3. Now the MOST important step, which most forget, ni unawekea paka hizo shit then unapika food ya heshima na adabu.

Kelitu Kaseo

@DjEynie

2 years

Mlisema tupike omena aje

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Heri dem high maintenance financially juu kama uko na kapesa, hiyo sii issue. Kuna hawa high maintenance emotionally and mentally. I could never wish them even on my worst enemy.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Vile females wengine ukuaga wame jioverrate utashangaa kwani hawanaga vioo kwao, ama people close to them uwaga hawawaambii ukweli vile wamebeat? Juu bro. These inflated egos are too much!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Kufika na kupita age 25 with your mental health intact ni an accomplishment of it own bro. Ukiongeza kapesa kadogo kwa brackets you've already won.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

Bruh I hate anything that brings poverty vibes. Poverty sucks mahn. Content kama ile ya DCI Juja niliimute haraka upes. Been broke for so long it(poverty) broke my heart.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Dis you?

Kimagetiet.

@Mutai___

2 years

Watu huogopa kufikiria these days🤮

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Get yourself a lady who is comfortable with whatever sh!t you bring to the table. Ukipata yule uwaga anaCompare her life na stories anaskiaga kwa her friends, hutai jua peace. Comparison has always been the death of peace and wellbeing.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

Unasoma unamaliza high school, unakaa mwaka moja nje na bado second year campo uko 17 years? Bana sisi sii madwanzi.

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@Workflow_33

2 years

They said "Don't own a shop if you don't own a smile" & I couldn't agree more. Naenda kubuy breako napata mumama anauza hiyo shop amebonda ajab. Ni kama alitwangwa na bwana usiku buana, but that's less of my concern. Anyways,never buying shit from that shop ever again. Petty me!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Bullies have won. Riggy G ameshaalipa subscription ya gym na amepromise in 3 months atakuwa in shape. Haha

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

8 months

@cocoaaapuffsss @Kikiii________ This statement is more fitting to women than men.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

"My intentions are sexual, I am not your friend or your brother!"

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

If my wife turns my kids against me after devorcing me and stops me from seeing them, I'm leaving they asses without blinking and ghosting, marrying another wife, having other kids and giving them the exact same names. Fuck em kids.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Usiogope* Unang'oa vioo za gari na bado unang'oa ukitype? Choose a struggle.

Ginger 💛

@Just_Wanjiru

2 years

Usiongope ku keke ama kuni slander juu uko dms, what is in the dms stays in the dms,you are safe wee jibambe. Have a. Good day .

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@Workflow_33

1 year

Dandora Artists you fucks? His name is Samuel Kinyua and his handle @pencilart_sam . Smh

Citizen TV Kenya

@citizentvkenya

1 year

Hollywood legend Morgan Freeman thumbs up Dandora artist

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@Workflow_33

2 years

A 26 yro man and a 26 yro lady are not age mates. Madem nilisoma nao primo na campo tukaekwa in the same room huwezi sema we shared a classroom/lecture hall. Either they look older, wako na kids ama wameomoka saidii wanakaa way above me, I'm a pauper in their eyes.

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Nini ukuwa mbaya na Kanye West😂😂💔

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Kukuwa less interested na sex as you grow older ni juu tuko preoccupied na other 'better' things ama level ya testosterone ndio inaenda chini tunalipia tax ya uzee?

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Nothing is lonelier than being in parties. Whenever I find myself in one nakuaga hapo nikiwish ningekuwa tu home & alone.

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Mnakumbuka hii pic ya huyu mama alienda hosi kutembelea mgonjwa na hii T-shirt? 😂

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@Workflow_33

2 years

How they convinced people that eating a lot of carbs was owk but eating a lot of meat wasn't amazes me. Meat eating societies are the leanest and fittest, I mean look at the Maasais.

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@Workflow_33

2 years

They keep on lying to men eti "Be in touch with your feminine side" anga "Don't go mute with your problems, open up unaeza pata some help" but throw you under the bus for doing the same. Ona kitu wanafanyia DJ Bash.

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Kanye was worth $3+ Billion but after Adidas terminated their contract he's no long a billionaire? Kwani hizo Billions alikuwa estimated zinakuaga calculated aje? I mean it's barely a day since the termination.

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@Workflow_33

1 year

Listening to Kanye's old music is so sad because mans foretold his future. Mans isn't doing well financially, the wife is relatively rich but he(Kanye) will be paying $200k a month for child support? Sieet. Don't settle for no hoe,she'll leave and leave with half.

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Before After

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Men who feel uncomfortable na ni kama they are missing out on something time wako single ni juu they haven't had experiences with women. Once you learn much about women's nature, utaogopa kukuwa associated na wao for long. Most of them wakiwa in your life ni liabilities tu.

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Y'all talk about the unpaid internships but have you heard about the paid internship where it's the intern who pays?

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Your family wakijua how much you earn, it's over for you. Kwanza ukuwe first born from a humble background, it never even started.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

If this doesn't prove that the society became misandrist I don't know what will.

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Dem anapost kucomplain vile Elsa alipata ball eti hiyo ni a wrong move anga eti she has fvcked up her potential to wealth. Owk Lucia, wewe mwenye labda ata abortion clinics know your name na hauna mtoto, how come hatukujui? Where's your potential?

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@Workflow_33

1 year

There are two types of women, haha. Choose wisely!

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Ukilipwa na client pesa alafu arudi aseme kazi ilikuwa mbaya anataka refund na y'all are miles apart haezi pull up kwa keja na haezi kupeleka anywhere juu ata hakujui personally, utamrudishia kapesa kake ama utampiga muosho moja?

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@Workflow_33

2 years

'Semen retantion ni poa but sii rahisi kuhold millions of sperms that are rioting.'

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@Workflow_33

2 years

Different folks, different strokes. Speak for yourself!

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@Workflow_33

1 year

Y'all talk about politicians wakipea fems pekee kazi na kuignore boychild. Mumewai ona trainer wa gym kweli? Most of them uneglect mandume. Mara mingi utaona mandume wakitrain na poor form karibu weight iwavunje spine while trainer ako hukoo na madem. It's a society thang!

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

You date someone but you don't wanna see them with anybody else. Surprisingly, mnabreak up na unajua ako na mtu na bado mnabingirishana chini ya maji but hauko jealous anymore. All of a sudden haujali. Haha humans tuko wired vifunny.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Baby mamas uwaga hawataki men with kids juu uwaga wanajua what they usually do with their baby daddies behind the curtains. They don't want what they do to others done unto them.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

Before you take some dating advice from anyone, ebu ji-compare na yeye. Are you as interesting, cute and as resourceful as s/he is? Utachukua aje tips from an 8 na wewe ni a solid 5? Utakuwa on a compulsory semen retention ushangae, haha.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

1 year

Huyu anacomplain people don't check up on her eti no one ever calls her kumuuliza ako aje nikamuuliza na yeye alipigia nani simu the last three days akanyamasa. You gotta be a friend first to have a friend.

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Freelance Emperor ♔

@Workflow_33

2 years

So, a random guys kwa club offers to give you $1000 alafu anakuambia umfuate kwa nyumba yake na in your mind uko convinced atakupea hizo pesa for free, alafu unamfuata? Haha wow.

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