We Can't Consent To This @Wecantconsentto Twitter profile

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

3 years

If strangling a woman using "sustained pressure" until she is unconscious and then dead, so that your 'hands are hurting' afterwards, does not demonstrate intent to cause serious harm... then what can? Outrageous - 4 years 8 months: @graemeecho

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4 years

This is important and devastating BBC research: "more than a third of UK women under the age of 40 have experienced unwanted slapping, choking, gagging or spitting during consensual sex"

'A man tried to choke me during sex without warning'

Research for BBC Radio 5 Live suggests a third of women have experienced unwanted violence during consensual sex.

www.bbc.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

5 years

Who claims "sex games gone wrong"? A few people have asked this, so we made this infographic:

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Honestly quite breathtaking seeing these headlines - this is huge.

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@Wecantconsentto

2 years

Campaign proudly now into year 4 of the lads calling us vanilla prudes online

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Extremely pleased to see @Wecantconsentto on the front page of the Guardian this weekend. "As well as changing the law, we need a change in attitude"

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

We regret to inform you that @Cosmopolitan is promoting choking/strangulation ('breath play') as a great newbie way to spice up your love life, again. (They link to a piece that says it can can cause stroke, brain damage, serious damage to neck, spine.)

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5 years

So worth a watch: Harriet Harman MP today in #DomesticAbuseBill debate, on the horror of 'rough sex' defences and "men now literally getting away with murder". "We've got another version of 'she drove me to kill her, it was her fault'"

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@Wecantconsentto

1 year

Elizabeth McCann was 26. She was killed by a man from her college course. He claimed she'd consented to all of it: but has been sentenced to 35 years for rape and murder. He'd been released from a sentence for public protection for a brutal rape in 2010.

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3 years

Outrageous. And again: prosecutors accept a killer's story that violence was 'rough sex', he didn't mean to harm her, but she wanted it. #HerNameWasSophieMoss

Darlington man admits choking woman to death

A MAN has admitted killing a Darlington woman by choking her during a sex session gone wrong.

www.thenorthernecho.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

WTH? Teen Vogue claims: "porn that portrays nonconsensual sex, for instance, isn’t necessarily misogynist" that's rape porn - porn featuring *rape* There's a phrase: "so open minded your brain's fallen out". But this is beyond even that.

cassie❣

@iHateCogsci

3 years

Rape culture is teaching teen girls that "nonconsensual sex" (most of us call that rape) can "center pleasure and agency" and that the "seemingly racist or sexist" is just "self-aware and feminist"! Don't trust your eyes, there's no such thing as violence against women 🤔

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

This is amazing. We can call this a victory. All of you who supported and cheered us along on this can feel rightly proud of this. The Government propose clear law to end the use of rough sex defences.

Harriet Harman

@HarrietHarman

4 years

Govt publish new clause for Domestic Abuse Bill to end rough sex defence. Milestone moment in battle to challenge male violence against women. This will stop men literally getting away with murder by saying it's what she wanted. @Mark4WyreForest @Wecantconsentto

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4 years

A 'kerfuffle' Have we learned nothing this last few years, than to give the men who kill women the last say in the headlines on how they died. Claire Parry, mum, nurse. 💐

Dorset police officer cleared of murdering lover after she told wife of affair

Timothy Brehmer had previously admitted to manslaughter over Claire Parry’s death

www.theguardian.com

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

oh lord not again choking 🤬 can 🤬 cause 🤬 brain 🤬 damage 🤬 in 🤬 four 🤬seconds 🤬 and 🤬 is🤬 major 🤬 cause 🤬 of 🤬 miscarriage 🤬 and 🤬 stroke 🤬 in 🤬 women 🤬 under 🤬 40 there 🤬 is 🤬 no 🤬 'safe' 🤬 strangulation 🤬 of 🤬 women 🤬

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Consensual rough sex, gone wrong? Turns out that it only ever goes wrong for one person:

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5 years

Grace Millane, 22 Auckland, NZ Grace, from Essex, had just graduated & was travelling the world. She was killed on her birthday by a Tinder date. In his trial, he is claiming she asked him to strangle her. She is the 59th UK woman killed by a man who claims sex, "gone wrong"

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@Wecantconsentto

2 years

Sandra Moore's death was ruled an act of 'autoeroticism' by a coroner in Stoke. If that were true, she would be the first woman in UK history to die in this way: it's a male act done by men to themselves & others. Astonishing a coroner could think this

Woman feared murdered by ex found to have died in shower sex act, inquest hears

Sandra Moore, 40, was found dead in the bathroom of her home in Shelton , Stoke-on-Trent with a coroner ruling that she died during a solo sex act in the shower

www.mirror.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

"On the relatively rare occasion that a woman kills a violent man she is asked, “If the violence was so bad, why didn’t you leave?” Men who claim they killed their wives because she “nagged” or was unfaithful are never asked why they stayed in the relationship."

Centre for Women's Justice

@centreWJ

3 years

Why do we still have so much sympathy for men who murder women?

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4 years

This is a pretty great piece to see: due to incredible push by @HarrietHarman & @Mark4WyreForest , with @Laura__Farris joined by MPs from 6 parties. And the brilliant @GraziaUK & @MumsnetTowers who've pushed this with us. It's over to the Government now:

'Rough sex' defence will be banned, says justice minister

Campaigners welcome commitment to prevent lawyers using justification for violence.

www.bbc.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

GUILTY of murder of #GraceMillane The man - who still cannot be named - will be sentenced in February. Heart goes to Grace's family and friends today, and hope this is some relief. x

Grace Millane murder: Man guilty of killing backpacker in New Zealand

Jurors in Auckland, New Zealand, find a 27-year-old guilty of strangling Grace Millane.

www.bbc.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

2 years

In the week we made strangulation a specific offence, one of our followers asked us to report a video on here: porn where a woman is strangled til she foams at the mouth. It autoplayed in her feed, it's from an @ with 30k followers. @TwitterSupport have not taken it down.

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@Wecantconsentto

5 years

On "rough sex" defences: "We are used to seeing women’s sex lives analysed in rape cases — to find ways of blaming them for being raped." "Now we are seeing women’s sex lives analysed in murder cases, to find ways of blaming them for being murdered"

Ban the odious '50 Shades' sex defence & stop blaming women for their own deaths

THE Fifty Shades Of Grey novels, which brought BDSM — bondage, domination and sado- masochism — to a wide audience and inspired some very silly films, have proved a gift to men who hate women. Men …

www.thesun.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

The man who murdered Grace Millane has failed in his attempt to appeal his conviction and sentence. A relief. Thanks to a court order, he still cannot be named, enjoying privacy not given to Grace.

Grace Millane murderer loses appeal against conviction and sentence

The man, whose identity is suppressed, was convicted in February of killing the British backpacker in New Zealand

www.theguardian.com

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

This might make you gasp with the horror and the truth of it.

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

INCREDIBLE NEWS - @RobertBuckland to add new offence of non fatal strangulation to law @centreWJ @Dontlookback198 Domestic abusers who leave no marks on victims face 7 years inside under new law

Domestic abusers who leave no marks on victims face 7 years inside under new law

EXCLUSIVE: Tory Justice Secretary Robert Buckland is hoping to plug a loophole that lets certain attackers off lightly under current charging criteria, protecting 5,000 women a year in the process

www.mirror.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

hi it's us again. choking: 👎is gendered (almost all 'choking' is by men, of women 👎causes brain damage in 4 seconds 👎in 50% of domestic abuse, 20% of sexual assault by partners 👎means a man is 7 times more likely to kill his partner *why* do we accept this as a sex thing?

riah

@riahaIyssa

3 years

guys that choke u when they kissin u go to heaven

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3 years

A Metropolitan Police officer has been jailed for punching and throttling a junior colleague and then telling her to lie about their abusive relationship. He 'told her to say the bruises and marks were the result of rough sex'

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

Fantastic that this will make it into law, as early as next month. Strangulation is too rarely prosecuted - but causes unique and terrible harm, and brings great risk that the perpetrator will later kill the woman.

Non-fatal strangulation to carry five years in prison under reforms

Amendment to domestic abuse bill will address concerns about attacks being hard to prosecute

www.theguardian.com

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@Wecantconsentto

2 years

All strangulation of women is serious – and it’s time for the law to step up

Strangulation is the second most common method used to kill. As our campaign draws to a close, we find out what is – and isn’t – being done

www.theguardian.com

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@Wecantconsentto

5 years

Anna Florence Reed was 22 and on holiday with her boyfriend. He now faces a "lesser charge than murder". She will be the 50th British woman we know killed where men claim they died in a "sex game gone wrong". #wecantconsenttothis

British woman died during a 'sex game gone wrong' in Swiss hotel

British holidaymaker Anna Florence Reed was discovered on Tuesday morning in a hotel bathroom after shouting was heard coming from her room. Her boyfriend has been arrested.

www.dailymail.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

In the UK parliament tonight, MPs just voted to add to the #DABill to end the use of 'rough sex' defences to killing and serious injury of women. Big moment, only a beginning. Huge thanks to @HarrietHarman @Mark4WyreForest @Laura__Farris & all MPs who pushed so hard for this

We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Speaker asks MPs whether they should adopt NC20 to #DABill on rough sex defences. NOT A SINGLE NOE WE DID IT!!! [for this stage, still needs to get through the Lords, still have a number of outstanding demands on strangulation and making this law work]

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@Wecantconsentto

3 months

Man "obsessed with watching online pornography" strangles his wife to unconsciousness and is sent on a Building Better Relationships course with a suspended sentence. Serious question about how we deal with these dangerous men.

Rachel Williams

@Rachel_SUTDA

3 months

Wife fainted as 'dangerous' husband squeezed her neck, Hull court hears Another violent perpetrator walking free from court. What is wrong with our judiciary?! Remember his face ladies and stay well clear! @InstituteFAS

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4 years

Here we go again @MensHealthMag Why should you stop promoting strangulation? It causes serious harm, including "cardiac arrest, stroke, miscarriage, incontinence, speech disorders, seizures, paralysis, and other forms of long-term brain injury."

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

"People say, ‘It’s only a few women a week that die’" “But it’s been a few women a week ever since I was born, and I’m 34. It’s a huge systemic problem. The @FemicideCensus says these women matter. ”

‘If I’m not in on Friday, I might be dead’: chilling facts about UK femicide

One woman is killed by a man every three days in the UK – a figure unchanged in a decade. A new census analyses this epidemic of male violence

www.theguardian.com

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

More than 60 women have been killed by men who claim she consented to the violence, and many more injured. TODAY MPs will debate concrete proposals which could start to end the 'rough sex' defence, supported by MPs from 6 parties.

Boris Johnson has pledged to outlaw the 'rough sex defence' again – now he needs to do it

The Prime Minister has said he will ban the 'sex game gone wrong' defence in Britain, but women are entitled to know when he will act

www.telegraph.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Read this thread: If you hear us talking about the social pressures on young women to submit to violence in sex - choking/strangulation, spitting, slapping, gagging, and more - and think we're overstating it. honestly it's all here in this thread:

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

Rape porn (which Teen Vogue think can be self aware *and* feminist!) is a criminal offence to possess here in the UK. Not because lawmakers are vanilla prudes: because men who watched rape porn were raping & killing women. 2/3

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

This is an ASTONISHING decision by the CPS - a woman's violent assault is not being prosecuted because the man accused is likely to say she consented to the violence

We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

"Prosecutors declined to pursue charges against a man accused of assault because of fears he would claim it was consensual sexual behaviour —a decision that will intensify pressure to outlaw the “rough sex gone wrong” defence" @HarrietHarman @RosamundUrwin

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Worth saying that the recent government amendment to end rough sex defences will apply only in England and Wales, not in Scotland and not in Northern Ireland; where this week a young woman has been killed by a man who claimed she 'consented' to asphyxiation.

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

"it shouldn’t take a bunch of social media misfits bashing a mainstream women’s magazine for an editor to remove the suggestion that depriving your brain of oxygen during sex is playful, fun, or even remotely a good idea." [are *we* the misfits here]

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

So relieved to say that the jury have found this unnamed man guilty of murder this morning. It is unacceptable that women are being blamed for their deaths-their sexual history used against them. We will campaign until this is no longer a useful defence to the men who kill them

Erica Brooks (she/her/ia)

@urbanaviatrix

4 years

How many of us can't concentrate rn, awaiting the jury's verdict on the murder of #GraceMillane ? Heartbroken + angry the 'rough sex gone wrong' argument is considered any sort of reasonable defence EVER. Pls check out the work of @Wecantconsentto

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@Wecantconsentto

5 years

We don't believe that women can consent to their own murder or grevious injury. We're highlighting the UK men who rely on a 'rough sex'/BDSM 'gone wrong' defence in the death or injury of a woman:

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Important piece in the Sunday Times: "Teenagers are being exposed to graphic images on social media that promote life-threatening sexual acts, such as strangulation and erotic asphyxiation." 1.

Social media make girls think choking during sex is ‘normal’

Teenagers are being exposed to graphic images on social media that promote life-threatening sexual acts, such as strangulation and erotic asphyxiation, prompting concerns that this is “normal” for a...

www.thetimes.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

Consider why an act which is 👏 gendered (almost all 'choking' is by men, of women) 👏 intrinsically harmful, 👏 part of 50% of domestic abuse, 20% of sexual assaults by partners 👏 means a man is 7 times more likely to kill his partner is being sold to women as a sex thing?

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

This is horrendous - 5 (possibly 6) women assaulted in Belfast by one man over a 90 minute period, and women warned to not go out alone at night.

RTÉ News

@rtenews

4 years

Women in Belfast have been urged to go out in groups, when possible, after three women were stabbed in separate incidents yesterday

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4 years

Attorney General to review the sentence given to the man who killed Claire Parry:

Claire Parry death: PC Timothy Brehmer to have sentence reviewed

A complaint is made that married PC Timothy Brehmer's manslaughter sentence was "unduly lenient".

www.bbc.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Looking back at a powerful speech by @FloellaBenjamin in the House of Lords on #InternationalWomensDay to #endroughexdefence . She spoke of our research: 60 UK women killed by men who used this defence. In some cases, the deaths weren’t even investigated as a crime.

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Resharing this from the end 2019. The stat in here, that: 38% of UK women aged 18 to 39 have experienced unwanted choking, slapping, spitting or gagging in consensual sex That's 3.6 million women

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@Wecantconsentto

2 years

Excellent "police will be required by government to treat it as a major priority." Violent crime against women gets the same status as terrorist attacks

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

The man who murdered Grace Millane has also been convicted of astonishingly serious violence against 2 women, who he also met on tinder. He has lost his name protection. "do not think about him or speak his name" - thoughts with families & the women.

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

"Curfew the men" said the women of Bradford in 1980, "we are sick and tired of being told not to walk alone"

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Tweeting this again: Natalie Connolly deserves to be remembered. The man who killed her does not - but he will be released from prison within days. Utterly cruel.

We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Oh wow, @jessphillips on Natalie Connolly; "I simply want to remember Natalie: a brilliant, beautiful, bright, mother, sister, daughter. A woman who had a story all of her own, about the things she loved, & cared for, I hope that now the story of Natalie Connolly can be that."

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Why are we pushing back when 'choking' of women is normalised? (And it is choking of women, by men, we're almost always talking about) Here's a great, lockdown listen with @Lalalaletmeexp2

We Can't Consent To This - Trigger warning for discussion of rape and murder

Listen to this episode from Lala's Old Podcasts on Spotify. In this podcast Lala is joined by Eve from the We Can't Consent To This campaign @wecantconsentto. They are campaigning for the law to be...

open.spotify.com

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

In parliament now - Jess Phillips is moving the amendments to the DA Bill to end the rough sex defences, as proposed by @HarrietHarman @Mark4WyreForest @Laura__Farris and others

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

We often hear this from women: that they're called boring, vanilla, kinkshaming prudish sex-negative (etc etc) for not wanting to be strangled in sex by men.

Will

@WC818

4 years

And the award for “I have the most boring sex in the world” goes to....

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

There's a tiktok on here of a young woman who's proudly showing her severe bruising after a night with her "guy friend". It's REALLY distressing. The tiktok has millions and millions of likes. it's so distressing will link in next tweet.

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Just published! Government factsheet on the proposed law to end rough sex defences. All of *you* who helped us do this should feel a little proud. @GraziaUK @MumsnetTowers

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

Forty years ago, women said "curfew the men" "we are sick & tired of being told not to walk alone" Today's news on Sarah Everard is devastating: a police officer arrested for murder. And so many women on here sharing stories of violence & fear, for daring to walk the streets.

We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

"Curfew the men" said the women of Bradford in 1980, "we are sick and tired of being told not to walk alone"

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

The @attorneygeneral appeal failed - Sam Pybus's sentence will not be increased. Our attempt with @centrewj to intervene was rejected. More to come but this could not be clearer case to show that the law (what it says and how it works) must change. Sophie Moss deserves better.

We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

3 years

Hearing due to start soon. @centreWJ & @Wecantconsentto have applied to intervene: to ensure the court has information on the latest understanding of strangulation harms & domestic abuse. Court of Appeal to review sentence of man who choked lover to death

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

The law has just changed to make it clear that you cannot use a 'rough sex' defence. But still men will try - and will succeed if the CPS go along with the claim that being strangled to death is a sex act, rather than serious and sustained violence.

Consent to serious harm for sexual gratification not a defence

www.gov.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

This is appallingly dangerous advice in the @Independent @indy100 : "choking during sex can and should be done safely" As reported by your own paper, strangulation is terrifyingly harmful, with brain injury in as little as 4 seconds. (We are complaining)

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

"I couldn’t understand how such a violent attack could be brushed aside. The failure to recognise the strangulation, the hitting, the near murder felt like a terrible letdown" Why didn't this brave woman get justice? 'He almost killed me then walked free'

'He almost killed me then walked free'

Lisa Wade feared she would die when she was brutally throttled during sex - yet when she reported the assault, her attacker claimed it had been consensual.

www.dailymail.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

1 year

While we're all on the subject of 'choking'. Strangulation' of women in sex has been normalised through porn, and mainstream and social media made for women. Here's @NetflixUK Sex/Life show Ep 1. "Honey. You need to be choked" Edgy and empowering!

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

"For teenage boys at my school, it is a ‘flex’ to have abused, harassed or even been violent towards a girl sexually. Boys don’t believe their bad behaviour is sexual abuse, even if they say they do understand why it’s wrong." Georgina, 17

The toxic truth about being a teenage girl today

Six UK-based teenage girls share their experiences of abuse as it's revealed a growing number of young girls are exhausted by the stream of sexual coercion from boys their own age.

www.dailymail.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

"Its site is infested with rape videos. It monetizes child rapes, revenge pornography, spy cam videos of women showering, racist and misogynist content, and footage of women being asphyxiated in plastic bags." On pornhub:

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@Wecantconsentto

2 years

It'd meet the UK criminal threshold for extreme porn: i.e. porn featuring a life threatening act. Appallingly grim. Assume @TwitterSupport would want to act on this

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

"Claims of rough sex gone wrong are a global concern." "We've got a list of around 250 women who have been killed in various countries around the world by men who claim at some point that they consented to it.""

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

"Prosecutors declined to pursue charges against a man accused of assault because of fears he would claim it was consensual sexual behaviour —a decision that will intensify pressure to outlaw the “rough sex gone wrong” defence" @HarrietHarman @RosamundUrwin

CPS backed off assault charge over fear of ‘rough sex’ defence

Prosecutors declined to pursue charges against a man accused of assault because of fears he would claim it was consensual sexual behaviour — a decision that will intensify pressure to outlaw the...

www.thetimes.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

(Marital rape was so often a feature of the romance novels of yore, that @goodreads somehow now hosts a whole "genre" for 'Popular Marital Rape Books':

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Hello to new followers. We Can't Consent To This was a response to the short sentence of 3years 8 months given in Dec 2018 to the man who killed Natalie Connolly. He claimed that many of her injuries were due to consensual rough sex.

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4 years

We hear from young women who learn as teens that being choked - viewed in Domestic Violence policing as being the no 1 risk factor for future homicide by a partner - is something they should expect as an expression of passion And it's not just Cosmo

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4 years

Point worth remaking: There's no good time to suggest asphyxiation as a great new sex move, but a global respiratory pandemic when we're seeing large volumes of reports of domestic abuse is a *particularly* bad time. Sort it out @CosmopolitanUK

We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

We regret to inform you that @Cosmopolitan is promoting choking/strangulation ('breath play') as a great newbie way to spice up your love life, again. (They link to a piece that says it can can cause stroke, brain damage, serious damage to neck, spine.)

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Well done this man: "Strangling someone for 5 to 10 minutes until they die is not rough sex." Millane murder detective: Rough sex should not be a defence

Millane murder detective: Rough sex should not be a defence

The detective who led the investigation into British backpacker Grace Millane’s killing has said he believes “rough sex” should not be considered a defence to murder.

www.standard.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

There are an astonishing, astonishing number of women terribly injured - and killed by men - who felt they were 'rejecting their advances'

Lady Justice 👩‍⚖️

@RadFemLawyer

4 years

Woman stabbed at bus stop 'after refusing man's sexual advances'

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

5 years

The partner of Natalie Connolly, who left her to die with injuries he claimed were due to "rough sex", is appealing his sentence of 3yrs 8 months. The appeal begins tomorrow.

Millionaire who left girlfriend to die after 'rough sex session' to appeal sentence

Natalie Connolly was left to die after sustaining more than 40 injuries at her home.

www.expressandstar.com

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Incredible from @Laura__Farris "In all of these cases, what is just really extreme violence against women is given a veneer of complicity through the sexual element. The victim has no voice"

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

A wise woman @JMoncktonSmith says Killing a woman is a final act of control, not a loss of control

Women's Aid

@womensaid

4 years

A conviction of manslaughter is no justice for Claire Parry and her family. We are appalled by the perpetrator’s description of her murder as a 'kerfuffle', and the judge saying it was a ‘loss of self-control’. It is a myth that people have no control over their physical actions.

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4 years

Patrycja Wyrebek, 20 2020, Newry, N. Ireland Patrycja was originally from Poland. Her friends will hold a memorial walk for her in Belfast tomorrow. She was killed on Sunday by her partner. He has told police he killed her in 'erotic asphyxiation'.

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@Wecantconsentto

5 years

Now Anna Florence Reed is the 50th British woman to die with the claimed defence she died in a "sex game gone wrong" These cases will continue until this defence is no longer useful to the men who kill women

We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

5 years

Anna Florence Reed was 22 and on holiday with her boyfriend. He now faces a "lesser charge than murder". She will be the 50th British woman we know killed where men claim they died in a "sex game gone wrong". #wecantconsenttothis

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Now we have the guilty of murder verdict, it's worth reflecting on this. Two thirds of women in "rough sex" defence claims have been strangled. And the men claim the women demanded it of them. #GraceMillane

CCChat Magazine- on and around Coercive Control

@CCChatMagazine

4 years

In his closing speech, the defence barrister told the jury the defendant was “just a young man prepared to do what his sexual partners want him to do in the bedroom,". Partners.

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 months

@skytv @HBO Astonishingly, tights shop Snag is selling "Choke Me" badges to its mostly female customer base. (Not sure young women get a free "choice" given the range of corporate pressure to celebrate and embrace their strangulation)

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

"let’s be clear: the so-called “rough sex” defence is not gender neutral. The sex is “rough” for women, not men. It is overwhelmingly women who are on the receiving end of this violence and whose health and very lives are on the line."

The misogyny of the so-called “rough sex” defence

Nobody by law can consent to getting hurt in a fistfight, but rough sex is used as a defence for harming women. This defence should be banned.

policyoptions.irpp.org

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 BBC News - Campaigners hail move to ban 'rough sex' defence

Campaigners hail move to ban 'rough sex' defence

Labour's Harriet Harman calls government's amendment a "milestone" in ending violence against women.

www.bbc.co.uk

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

"We now hope that the rest of the world takes notice, and follows our lead, especially New Zealand. Changes need to be made to protect women" Grace Millane's family calls for NZ to end rough sex defence as UK law passes, via @nzherald

'Truly horrendous': Millane family calls for NZ to end rough sex defence

'It needs to be called what it really is and that's murder.'

www.nzherald.co.nz

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

The man who murdered Grace Millane will appeal his conviction and his sentence this Thursday. He was given one of New Zealand's longest prison sentences when sentenced in February. Thoughts with Grace's family and friends 💜

Grace Millane: Killer appeals murder conviction and sentence

Lawyer says man killed British backpacker accidentally, but the Crown says there's no evidence of that.

www.stuff.co.nz

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

Tomorrow's Guardian Editorial: "Men who kill women must not be allowed to blame them in court for asking to be harmed"

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

"I’m calling time on vanilla shaming. I might have needed to learn to adapt to survive when I was 15 so no boys in school thought I was boring, but we cannot allow this to continue to be the case for young women now." 🏋️‍♀️🏋️‍♀️🏋️‍♀️

We've been shaming women for being 'vanilla' for years and it needs to stop

No kink-shaming is out, no vanilla shaming is in

thetab.com

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

TOMORROW the domestic abuse bill amendments face the committee stage in Parliament. It is vital that we have MP’s support in order for the bill so we can change the law. We really need your support by tweeting your MP’s. Below is a draft that you can tweet!

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

"Strangulation during sex can increase the risk of stroke and brain injuries even if the person does not lose consciousness, warn scientists as MPs debate the troubling practice."

Strangulation in sex can increase risk of stroke and brain injuries, distressing study finds

‘It is terrifying. It causes terrifying psychological and physical harm. It is different from other forms of violence as it often doesn’t leave visible signs,’ says campaigner

www.independent.co.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

3 years

“Vanilla is the new frigid,” says 19yo Lily. “I wrote something like ‘not wanting to be choked doesn’t mean you’re boring’ & I ended up being called out for it” “People kept saying that I didn’t know how to have a good time.”

i-D

A global platform for emerging talent, i-D celebrates fashion, culture, individuality and youth.

i-d.co

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

@ChattingCat @Iivilicious @anais1327 Thank you - try the below for women's stories and some press bits we've done. And links to support for anyone who needs it

Our stories — We Can't Consent To This

wecantconsenttothis.uk

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5 years

Please read this extraordinary, powerful piece "When a direct threat to life is slowly normalised, “it means that a woman whose partner chokes her might not report it – and if she does, it might go nowhere"

The fatal, hateful rise of choking during sex

Too many women’s lives are ending after what those accused of their deaths say were ‘sex games gone wrong’. But how did strangling ever become normalised?

www.theguardian.com

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

“I wanted to be attractive to him. So I just thought: ‘OK, this is what gets him off, I’ll let him.’” This piece is a year old today - it gave a huge push to awareness of this issue and our campaign.

The fatal, hateful rise of choking during sex

Too many women’s lives are ending after what those accused of their deaths say were ‘sex games gone wrong’. But how did strangling ever become normalised?

www.theguardian.com

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

💜 "The family of murdered British backpacker Grace Millane have described plans to outlaw the "rough sex gone wrong" defence as "fantastic news"" BBC News - Grace Millane's family welcome 'rough sex' defence ban

Grace Millane's family welcome 'rough sex' defence ban

Grace Millane's cousin says it was "truly horrendous" to have to listen to her killer lie in court.

www.bbc.co.uk

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

4 years

As soon as We Can't Consent to This started, we heard from women who had been choked -strangled- slapped, punched, by men they were dating. Read some of their stories at: We'll be on @Emmabarnett R5 Show from 10am and @VictoriaLIVE to discuss all this

Our stories — We Can't Consent To This

wecantconsenttothis.uk

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@Wecantconsentto

5 years

We're concerned that rough sex - which notably has never resulted in the death of a heterosexual man in the UK - may be the reselling of domestic violence back to women as 'kink'.

Elly Arrow

@EllyArrow

5 years

Celebrating #BDSM culture where women are choked and beaten till they are black and blue is just the modern reiteration of "if he loves you, he beats you". Same lie, same regressive shit, same harm, same male violation imperative - shiny new packaging.

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We Can't Consent To This

@Wecantconsentto

3 years

Earlier today, Harriet Harman wrote to the Attorney General to ask the 4 year 8 month sentence given to Sam Pybus for killing Sophie Moss should be reviewed as 'Unduly Lenient' The AG has responded:

Attorney General

@attorneygeneral

3 years

@HarrietHarman @Michael_Ellis1 @centreWJ @Wecantconsentto @VeraBaird @Mark4WyreForest @RobertBuckland @bindelj @jessphillips . Thank you for your tweet. We will be considering this case under the Unduly Lenient Sentence scheme. The Law Officers have 28 days from sentencing to consider the case and make a decision on whether to refer Sam Pybus' sentence to the Court of Appeal.

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4 years

Incredible first person account: "My ex was lovely. I was blissfully happy until one day we had sex & my feelings towards him changed completely." 1/2

He Spat, Slapped & Choked Me: How Sex With My Boyfriend Turned Into Abuse

Violence during consensual sex has become normalised and it's not okay. One woman whose boyfriend started to choke and hit her during sex tells us how she came to realise she was being abused.

www.refinery29.com

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4 years

Thomas lost his sister Charlotte when she was murdered by a man who claimed she consented. Thomas calls for an end to "rough sex" claims: “The law needs to change to protect other women who clearly don’t consent to being injured or being killed.”

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@Wecantconsentto

4 years

We rarely want to talk about Broadhurst, it's Natalie Connolly who is foremost in our thoughts. But it is important to recognise what this man did. After leaving Natalie to die with 40 "profoundly brutal, profoundly intimate and very extensive" injuries,

Jean Hatchet

@JeanHatchet

4 years

Never let him forget who he is. He is the man who beat a woman to death and stepped over her as she died. Never let his millions comfort him. Never let his millions buy another woman to abuse. #HerNameWasNatalieConolly thanks to @Wecantconsentto for leading to change in the law.

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