lauren @Very__Regular Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

lauren

1 day

a few people have asked me for restaurant recs in DC so i've put together a partial list of places i like. it reflects a lot of my own biases like not owning a car and not enjoying capitol hill or georgetown. i'll add more spots as i think of them

lauren's dc food recs · Lauren Walker

65 places - people ask me for recommendations when they visit DC sometimes so i'm putting together a list

www.google.com

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Last Seen Profiles

@Dimeloo_Mami

@pr6ties

@mimikyunosub

@Cole_Mullins1

@ForsakenOirat

@loperwrestling

@pekinshowamachi

@KendrickMc28335

@Team_PxG

@reiver

@KDO_japtang

@omdop

@kaedechanura

@syusyaku_

@CoachClayBewley

@oldlondonnow

@lit4tms

@NeapolitanPubby

@liulianjingrua

@jo_ida

@brvbkari

@n_dbd_kuzu

@JordanLyall

@Thorbjornolesen

@ostravanda_

@tjfarncombe

@shurmanator

@milky_succubus

@nananotified

@Jhojan19099575

@n_dbd_kuzu

@mazzettam2

@SamuelT17540838

@nilanmorton

@IndiaNZDiaspora

@sam_feldman_

lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

“she let me hit because im goofy” is seen throughout nature

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

the argument for showing up to the airport really early is that i would rather be hanging out at the airport than stressing about getting to the airport

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 years

i have stolen over 4 terabytes of NFTs via the little known hacker technique known as "right click -> save as". my collection has a net estimated value of over 8 trillion dollars

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 years

just made the best piece of toast of my life

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

For everyone visiting their parents this week: LG tvs call it TrueMotion Roku/TCL calls it Action Smoothing Samsung calls it Auto Motion Plus Sony calls it MotionFlow Panasonic calls it Intelligent Frame Creation Amazon Fire TVs call it Motion Processing

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

@elonmusk Regardless of the outcome, this is the most insecure tweet any of us will ever live to see

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

saw someone say it's ableist to not let teenagers look at their phones in math class and i think it's time to put that word away for a while until we can all reflect on what we've done

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

when dante visited hell it was pre industrialization. there's gotta be like 800 levels by now

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

the turbotax ad campaign where they're like "think of all the stuff you could be doing instead of your taxes" just reminds me they lobbied to make sure the government couldn't just do our taxes for us

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

imagine for a second that you, your daddy, your granddaddy, etc have been doing the same damn thing every day for 245 million years and then one morning someone sticks you in a mri machine. humiliating

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 years

on the one hand, it would be tremendously good for everyone. psychologically, physically, we would be happier and healthier for it. on the other hand, there are like 8 really rich guys who are against it

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lauren

@Very__Regular

18 days

44 pounds of parmesan for $10 is like a once in a lifetime bargain, you'd be a fool not to jump at it

Pancaked Brick, Fried by Koroks

@FuckKoroks

19 days

This man won.

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

there should be a drug that makes you addicted to cleaning the apartment

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

any time a cop hits his lights to run a yellow only to turn it off 600 feet away i feel like the city owes me one dollar of my taxes refunded

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

they have surpassed us in enormous novelty food innovation. it was the last edge we had. the west is fallen

吉川真人🇨🇳深センスタートアップ起業🔥

@mako_63

2 years

コーラと焼き小龍包の重慶イノベーション

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

thinking about the time last year that guy rode his nascar against the wall of the track to slingshot past everyone else and it was such a fun and badass move that everyone in charge of the sport unanimously agreed it should be Super Illegal

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

i'm right, though. twitter is for the freaks

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

hotels could immediately reclaim 80% of the airbnb market by adding a kitchenette to some of their rooms and equipping them with solid wooden cutting boards and anything less than the world's shittiest nonstick egg pan

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lauren

@Very__Regular

24 days

"phones are making you depressed" wrong. the phone itself is fine, the apps are making people depressed. take everything off there but a music player, wikipedia, texts and the app that makes it look like you're drinking a beer when you hold it sideways and everyone would be fine

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lauren

@Very__Regular

11 months

i've never understood what future microsoft was envisioning where "3D objects" would be as important to the average laptop user as "documents" or "downloads"

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lauren

@Very__Regular

7 days

in the glorious AI future you will be able to find out the ingredients of your food simply by looking at the box

Don Allen Stevenson III ᯅ

@DonAllenIII

7 days

What if 👓 made us more informed about what we consumed?

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

16th century french migrants

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

NASA needs to cash in on the water bottle craze and start selling these to the public. i'm serious

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

anyone do this yet

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

all footage from any tax write-off movie should immediately be entered into the public domain. you should be able to get a couple buddies and take a crack at finishing the remaining CGI work yourselves in this kind of scenario

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

3 months

Netflix is scrapping ‘THE MOTHERSHIP’, a sci-fi thriller starring Halle Berry, which had completed filming but the studio now plans to never release the film. (Source: )

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

i don't like calling people NPCs and think it's a dumb meme but i don't have a better theory for why people watch the masked singer

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

why do so many supposedly straight guys on here love going "when i became aware of a female body i got sick and scared"

BigNik

@BigNik

1 year

So disgusting when I see women dressed like prostitutes in the gym. You don’t have to wear spandex and yoga pants, there’s plenty other clothing. I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m in a strip club when I’m just trying to work on my health. It’s annoying.

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

Do people still not understand that most of those videos were produced by marketing and recruiting departments

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 years

seth rogen is the only celeb who seems to understand that you win twitter arguments by telling anyone who tries to debate you "that's fucking stupid and you're a moron"

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lauren

@Very__Regular

11 months

me (sending slack message to client): should I do X or Y? guy who makes a quarter of a million dollars a year: 👍

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

(trying to relate to gen Z coworker) you really ate up that powerpoint presentation jenna (remembering i have constructive criticism) but you left one crumb on the HR policies & resources deck

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

many of the strange behaviors we see in society today - conservatives thinking they can shoot down a balloon that's 11 miles in the air, true crime women keeping scrapbooks out of fear they will be murdered - stem from a condition that i call "thinks movies are real brain"

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

this is like the most innocent possible personality trait a father could ever impress on his son. for most of the twentieth century this guy would be making his kid enlist in the damn navy

Mittens THE CATMAN (2022)

@JUSTcatmeme

2 months

This kid is going to grow up and resent his father for this

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

every type of italian sausage is a good name for a cat, every type of german sausage is a good name for a dog

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lauren

@Very__Regular

11 months

hang it in the Louvre

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

purely as a thought exercise, here is 15 seconds of a banh mi rotating at 300% original speed, a hot muffuletta at 500%, a torta milanesa at 700%, and a big mac at 1000%

fyi

@Toynbeef

1 year

@NotABigJerk I know it’s not the point but I would love to see how fast these suckers can spin

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

i am addicted to saying "wow its soo nice out" when its so nice out

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

weapon of the century: 1st- horse 2nd- horse 3rd- horse 4th- horse 5th- horse 6th- horse 7th- horse 8th- horse 9th- horse 10th- horse 11th- horse 12th- horse 13th- horse 14th- horse 15th- gun 16th- gun 17th- gun 18th- gun 19th- gun 20th- gun 21st- TBD (knife drones looking good)

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

the thing no one mentions when they're complaining about red light cameras is that if you don't run the red light the camera won't send you a ticket

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

when you actually plan stuff out, write scripts, pay people to do location scouting, pay for time to rehearse and shoot it right you don't have to remake everything in post for double the cost

Michal Draker

@MichalDraker

2 months

DUNE: PART 2 having a 190 million budget is utterly insane to me. How does this movie look so epic and flawless for this price? What the fuck are the other studios and producers doing with their 250 mil+ budgets

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 month

i'm going to invent something i call "goofing around". it's when you hang out with your pals and there's no financial incentives involved at all. this is a new concept i just created for the first time

Brian FMP

@FadeMyPlay

1 month

Nah nah nah… but homie doesn’t gamble.

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

if french people had figured out ranch dressing it'd have a pretentious name and cost $1.95 extra to add to your salad. because it's the invention of californian farmers we're all supposed to pretend an emulsion of buttermilk, garlic, mustard, chives, parsley and dill is déclassé

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

one of the funnier parts of the managerial WFH freakout in the early days of the pandemic were the articles about how you should wear your business clothes at your desk at home and maintain the routine of your commute by driving in circles for a few blocks before logging on

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lauren

@Very__Regular

10 months

real tired of the "you have to be nice to us while we systematically dismantle your rights" schtick

Fox News

@FoxNews

10 months

Chief Justice Roberts calls out Democrats demonizing the Supreme Court opinions they don't like.

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

this is honestly such an honorable topic to be a huge crank about given our current politics

scallop girl

@pasta_niece

4 months

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

one of the most off putting elements of the ai art debacle is finding out there is a moderately large group of people with a seething resentment toward writers, illustrators, animators etc because they didn't have the discipline to learn the craft themselves

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

hey man @elonmusk you did a fucking terrible job of getting rid of the bots. like an insanely shitty job

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

the fact:

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lauren

@Very__Regular

25 days

moms were so right about so many things. a baked potato being a nice lunch. not staying out too late on a weeknight. refusing to buy lunchables. thinking video games are insanely bad for you. shout out moms, vindicated on all counts

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

the top of your replies when you criticize elon musk

James Clayton

@JamesClayton5

1 year

Ok so usually the interviewee leaves the interview. Elon musk now taking questions on Spaces

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

unreal how well that show aged compared to its peers too

Blake ™

@NeilNevins

3 months

always thought it was really sweet in Malcolm in the Middle how Abe introduced Hal to his friends and they became like his exclusive friend group the rest of the series

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lauren

@Very__Regular

10 months

that stupid piece of shit fuck

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

i made, but apparently never exported and posted, a rotating grilled cheese. here you go i guess

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

we talk about opportunities to do "the funniest possible thing" on here a lot and i think we have to now give kudos for tim cook for finally accomplishing it

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

every few months there's some new scandal about appallingly bad editorial or administrative decisions made by management at the new york times and they somehow still stay afloat thanks to the largely anonymous work of a world class puzzle team

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

bolsonaro eating kfc for the first time then immediately being rushed to the hospital is more evidence for my theory that the american gut biome is uniquely strong and the primary tool we have to maintain our dominance as a world superpower into the 21st century

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

once you get a soft closing toilet lid you spend the rest of your life shocked by the rest of the world's deafeningly loud toilet lid bangs. you barbarians just live like this? when a better world is so close at hand?

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

gently taking the hand of a movie studio exec and promising them all the internet hype for the barbie movie is definitely not a morbius situation and we'll all really go to the movie for real this time

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

new favorite trend is right wing dorks pretending they're hiring a bunch of people to work at the viral outrage video clip factory llc

Antonio Sabato Jr

@AntonioSabatoJr

1 year

I think she hit every point

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

i don't think this is likely but it'd be extremely funny if we found out Hot Ones was rigging the spice levels once it started getting real celebs and we culturally reacted to it like the MLB steroid scandal with congressional hearings, weepy eulogies about honor & tradition, etc

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

it was the riots, dawg

Nikolaj🍦🇺🇦

@nikicaga

2 years

Did gay people ultimately win rights through the Stonewall riots, or through a political alliance with the Democratic Party, starting at the local level in liberal cities and eventually succeeding nationally?

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

trump going from "ron desanctimonius" to "meatball ron" is like watching a washed reliever fix his mechanics and rediscover the high heat 4-seam

bryan metzger

@metzgov

1 year

Trump "has insulted Mr. DeSantis in casual conversations, describing him as 'Meatball Ron,' an apparent dig at his appearance."

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lauren

@Very__Regular

10 months

(think tank dipshit coming up with the worst future he can imagine): what if no one was starving

Scott Winship

@swinshi

10 months

Why stop with lunch when we have breakfast and dinner too? Why stop with kids? Why stop with food?

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

steve harvey giving us this at the start of an election year is why he's the GOAT

Terro 🇵🇸🗿🐊👽🍷

@FunnyTerro

4 months

New reaction video

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

half of my fridge is beverages. the other half is sauces. it's not sustainable

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

liquids are crucial for staying alive but beverages are what really manage the burden of existence

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

346 people died in two separate boeing 737 max crashes because boeing knowingly cheaped out on the plane's safety systems software to save money, so the planes could just out of nowhere start uncontrollably careening towards the ground. This was like 3 years ago

Beth Anne Mumford

@bamumford

2 years

@sammyzorba @PaulBlu Agencies administer the laws, not write them. Is the argument that companies would build planes that actively fall out of the sky without specific regulations in place? That seems not likely. Planes are expensive to make and operate.

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lauren

@Very__Regular

10 months

for a brief shining moment we had these cool things called websites

qυєℓℓєу

@WantSomeFries2

10 months

People 30+ what use to keep y’all entertained since y’all didn’t have social media back in the days ?

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

this is going to be such a great gift for all the adult men in my life

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

that so many of you are apparently eating the not-visibly-moldy parts of moldy bread actually explains a lot

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

these guys never stop and wonder why poison so rarely gets used for murder these days

Jeff Younger

@JeffYoungerShow

1 year

Steven Crowder is getting divorced. As is the case 80% of the time, the wife filed for divorce. I’ll say more about this on my podcast. Ive been through the Texas family courts myself. It’s rough for fathers and kids.

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

every catcher trains their whole life from the time they're in little league to the day they retire to do this even one time

Cleveland Guardians

@CleGuardians

1 year

We don't know what to say. Just watch.

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 month

american minds from 49 states cannot comprehend why anyone would spend a minute longer than absolutely necessary in connecticut

funny creature headquarters

@sillythemby

1 month

you can drive for 17 hours and still be in the state of connecticut. the european mind cannot comprehend this

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

i am approaching 13 years on HRT and blissfully glad i made that decision. weirdly enough no one asks me for interviews like all the two dozen detransitioners get

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lauren

@Very__Regular

11 months

this incident aside, imagine what else $250,000 can get you as far as vacations go

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 years

i know firsthand it's hard to fight early onset boomer brain but we millennials should strive to not get angry when people younger than us do things

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lauren

@Very__Regular

10 months

the exact right age to go through the pandemic was 31. if you were any younger or older than that you are now irreparably broken to the core of your being. but if you were 31 you are now just chillin'

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

it used to be that you could type the name of a movie into google and add "free online" and start watching it inside of 2 minutes. you can still do that but it's vaguely harder and that's why society is crumbling

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 month

kyle rittenhouse scoring so poorly on the ASVAB that the marines wouldn't let him in is really astonishing. even when you say stuff like "IQ isn't meaningfully real" or "standardized tests aren't indicative of intelligence" you're generally not accounting for bombing the ASVAB

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

device means gadget that is large. gizmo means gadget that is small. doohickey means gadget with an unclear mechanism of operation

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

say what you will about him, he knows his audience is overwhelmingly people whose kids have gone no contact

Jesse

@MuskTillDawn

1 year

We are so fucking back it’s insane

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

the dungeons and dragons movie bravely asks "what if we put a bunch of very charismatic actors in a series of lightweight action setpieces but in an intellectual property everyone's not sick of" and it pays off in spades

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

don't trust a chef who can't visually tell the difference between a cup from a half cup

eric rivera

@ericriveracooks

4 months

cup of sugar in each one?

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

huge breakthrough in sandwich rotation technology today

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

"i want to make a movie so painfully obvious in its satire that everyone who understands it lives in perpetual psychological torment inflicted on them by all the people who don't" -paul verhoeven, 1996

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 month

credit where due. he got his ass

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

no psychiatrist or social theorist in the world can adequately explain the proliferation of tiktoks where women in huge suburban mansions take individually wrapped prepackaged goods out of their original containers and put them into different sealable clear plastic containers

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lauren

@Very__Regular

11 months

this is what conservatives imagine when you say you want to live in a city without needing a car

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 month

cybertruck owner here, had our first little oopsie this morning on a family drive when my daughter eleonor activated "awesomesauce mode" on the touch panel. my kids were turned into red mist in the crash but that's just the risk you take with first gen, i'm back on the road now

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 months

militantly maintaining this position is the only known way to stave off boomerism

alex orlov

@alex_orlov_

2 months

my favourite lenin anecdote is when he visited an art college and saw all the weirdo avant-garde futurist shit they were doing and he was like “well i don’t get it but at least they’re having fun. i’m old”

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lauren

@Very__Regular

5 months

this should be a prize winning self-contained short story

Alan Feuer

@alanfeuer

5 months

From the charging document for a new J6 riot defendant, a continuing reminder that Google searches can, and will, be held against you:

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lauren

@Very__Regular

4 months

me: so you enter the first number in this cell, press tab, and now enter the next number in this row🙂pretty cool, huh? King-Priest Enmetena of Lagash: how do compound? People of Umma owe 8.64 million guru barley. Rate of interest 33% me (sweating): let's look that up together

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lauren

@Very__Regular

3 months

stewart making weinery little dnc flaks mad does give a specific kind of endorphin rush i haven't felt since high school, it can't be helped

The Daily Show

@TheDailyShow

3 months

Jon Stewart kicks off The Daily Show's election coverage with a wellness check on America's two chronologically challenged candidates: Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

he would be so happy if he had bought reddit instead

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

i remain obsessed with the startup trying to sell processed food cubes. every time i come across a new ad they're trying a new angle for why customers shouldn't see these as viscerally disgusting. today it's "you can air fry the cubes"

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

we do, in fact, love to see it

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lauren

@Very__Regular

2 years

it's so nuts that there were only like 40 years between the eradication of polio in the US and the rise of a huge reactionary movement against vaccines. we're going to put kids back in iron lungs because mom watched the wrong tiktoks

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lauren

@Very__Regular

1 year

i dunno man does society actually hate positive masculine role models or does the right have a problem where every voice that gets elevated in your media circles is an open scam artist

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