TheIainDuncanSmiths @TheIDSmiths Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

My brain every time I get a slight headache

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 months

You’re an absolute sucker if you pay £10.99 for a book where he tells you to tidy your room when you can go on twitter for free and see him trying to start racially aggravated beefs with Sesame Street characters

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

"I don't want to call for Priti Patel to resign"

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

9 days

“First it’s a milkshake, then it’s a gun” seems like an unlikely escalation. Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think there’s any historical precedent for an assassination where they tried it with a milkshake first

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

Still no message of condolence from Pornhub. I’ve checked their website 17 times since last night and will continue to do so

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

6 months

Love British standup 🤣🤣🤣

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

1 month

Jerry Seinfeld saying you can't write sitcoms anymore because of woke despite the fact his old writing partner just wrapped up a 24-year run of one of the most beloved sitcoms of all time, is arguably the funniest thing he's done in decades - funnier even than Bee Movie, perhaps

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

Matt Hancock forgot the golden rule of pretending to cry on national television, which is to produce at least one discernible tear

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

5 years

Top tip: if you ever find yourself forgetting how to spell 'Pinocchio', just look at this picture and you'll remember it's got two C's

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

5 years

Brendan O’Neill: “There should be riots” Laura Kuenssberg: “There’s the Labour activist, get him!” Andrew Neil: “Carole Cadwalladr’s a mad cat lady” Fiona Bruce: “This is Diane Abbott, right - DUUHH!” Naga Munchetty: “Racism is bad” BBC: “One of you has crossed the line”

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

5 years

Took the liberty of dubbing Kevin Keegan's "I will love it" rant over the £80k PAYE guy from Question Time #bbcqt

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 months

Do you identify as a cat, I asked my pupils. Thirty of them raised their paws. It was then that I realised; I work in a cat cafe, having lost my job as a teacher for making up stories about the kids and selling them to The Times.

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

11 months

Hey @MrHarryCole you’re still political editor of The Sun right?

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 months

Why does he turn into a Dalek at 0:38

The Labour Party

@UKLabour

2 months

What would Labour do differently? 🤔

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

The Very Best of Millwall Against Marxism

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

28 days

I'm not saying Britain's Strictest Headmistress should be Britain's Most Unemployed Headmistress*, but if a small child comes up to you and goes "rawr, I'm a tiger!", no one remotely normal would respond by taking to Twitter to denounce the child as some kind of deviant

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

5 months

Imagine being a UK journalist who's made calling Jeremy Corbyn an antisemite your entire personality, and on the day he squares up against Israel in the ICJ, you're not even allowed to mention it as it'd highlight the UK's complicity in genocide. The ultimate blue balls

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

9 months

Sensational material

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@TheIDSmiths

20 days

💫AstralWingz💫

@Zhane_Star

21 days

Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

Float like a butterfly, abstain like a bee

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

25 days

░N░O░░M░ E░A░N░ I░N░ G░F░U░L ░░I░M░P░A░C░T░

Jon Levine

@LevineJonathan

27 days

Elon Musk fired 90% of Twitter without a single meaningful impact on product — and this is now barely discussed at all. I think about this often

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

SACKED

Barbados to remove Queen Elizabeth as head of state

The government of Barbados says the time has come to leave the colonial past behind.

www.bbc.com

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

Gary Neville commentating at the 1936 Berlin Olympics

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

Some bad pills going round at the moment. Be careful out there x

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@TheIDSmiths

1 year

This is unbelievable from @BBCNews

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

11 months

Incredible

Israel Advocacy Movement

@israel_advocacy

11 months

Jeremy Corbyn forcefully grabbed this Jewish reporter when he asked him to condemn the use of child soldiers by Palestinian Islamic Jihad.

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

New Dracula just dropped

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

TERF, Wind & Fire

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

11 months

His perception of his own intelligence and actual level of intelligence have been on a collision course for so long now, the stage is set for an explosive showdown. I for one am gripped

Chortle Comedy

@chortle

11 months

David Baddiel to write about The Male Gaze | Can men objectify women’s bodies while respecting their minds?

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

1 year

Pathetic. Prince Philip was still alive at this stage of decomposition

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

9 months

You vote in elections, and yet you object to getting raped? I am very clever

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

6 days

I'm old enough to remember a dishevelled Boris Johnson laying a wreath upside down at the Cenotaph and BBC News replacing it with footage of him from a few years previously laying it the right way up with his hair combed, just because his opponent was a socialist

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

Now playing: Starmzy - “Bossy Cop”

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

28 days

You shouldn't malign a whole generation just because of a fusilli kids

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

19 days

2019: If Boris wins the ‘20s are going to be so roaring 🥂 2024: I have to boil water to brush my teeth

The Observer

@ObserverUK

19 days

Thames Water tests for vomiting bug contamination as families fall sick

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

@piersmorgan

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

New one from Starmzy 🔥🔥🔥

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@TheIDSmiths

2 years

BP announce soaring profits, the next Prime Minister says she'll cut public sector pay and everyone's losing their mind at Jeremy Corbyn saying war is bad. A perfect day in Britain

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

7 months

Neuroscientist here 👋 Young people are generally pro-Palestine for the same reason they're more concerned about climate change: their anterior insular cortex can still trigger feelings of empathy due to their significantly lower intake of tap water from lead pipes

Fisun Guner 🇵🇸🍉

@FisunGuner

7 months

I’ve heard it all now - Nick Ferrari is asking why the young are predominately pro-Palestinian - so he gets psychotherapist Lucy Beresford on to talk abt the ‘adolescent mind’

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@TheIDSmiths

4 years

@BorisJohnson

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

@Pornhub I just checked your website again on a crowded train and the lady next to me let out a horrified gasp when she saw my screen. So it’s not just me who’s disgusted by your total lack of respect

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

Prince Andrew - “Nonce in a Lifetime”

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@TheIDSmiths

1 year

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

Two of these are genuine tweets from this morning, one we had to mock up ourselves. Can you spot the fake?

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

Jill Scott appearing in a slow motion replay screaming “fuck off, fucking prick” while beating Germany in a major final should make her clear front runner for sports personality of the year

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

Hearing her final words were "cancel Southampton vs Brentford"

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

5 months

oh ffs

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

11 months

lose lose lose lose godfather to Rupert Murdoch's daughter godfather to Rupert Murdoch's daughter godfather to Rupert Murdoch's daughter lose lose lose lose currently locked in negotiations over champagne with Rupert Murdoch

Tom Harwood

@tomhfh

11 months

A short history of the Labour Party: lose lose lose lose Blairism Blairism Blairism lose lose lose lose Blairism

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

28 days

(Miss Snuffy taking the register) Is Al here? Al Dente? *children snigger* Hmm. What about Ravi? Ravi Oli? *children snigger* I see. Right, I'll just start with the surnames. *glances down* Toni?

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

Remember the Daily Mail will be scouring social media for anyone making jokes about the Queen at this time, so don’t forget to end your tweet with “and fuck the Daily Mail” so they have to print that too

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

Russian general: Mr President, we are ill-equipped to deal with the counteroffensive in Kherson… Putin (eating popcorn): Not now, Krishnan Guru-Murthy just called Steve Baker a cunt

(((Dan Hodges)))

@DPJHodges

2 years

Reminder. Putin’s watching all this. Genuinely.

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

Hypernormalislandisation

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@TheIDSmiths

2 years

ELO Musk - "Mr Blue Tick"

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

5 years

The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Andrew #nonce

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

7 months

This is certainly a gutsy response to the writer and director of Sorry to Bother You from 1/8th of the writing team of Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

11 months

Counting backwards 9 months, this means that Boris Johnson was ‘at it’ in appallingly close proximity to - conceivably on the very day of - the death of Her Majesty the Queen. It goes without saying that any true patriot would still be in the throes of abstinence even now

Sky News

@SkyNews

11 months

BREAKING: Boris and Carrie Johnson have announced the birth of her third child

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

11 months

If I didn’t want to be called “Sir Kid Starver”, well, first of all I wouldn’t have got knighted. Secondly and most importantly

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 months

Roses are Hamas Violets are Hamas Tulips are Hamas Daffodils are Hamas

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

People say the Bristol stuff is unhelpful, but already it’s forced BBC News to acknowledge the policing bill so that’s a good start

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 months

"Parliament has new woke chocolate bars" - a smart person doing important work

Kate Ferguson

@kateferguson4

2 months

Parliament has new woke chocolate bars

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

7 months

guest rapper: we got minus ten for the overspend, if DCL does his ACL, we better learn to defend Damon Albarn on the chorus: ooooooh Dwight McNeil, where have you been, what do you feel

Operation Goodison

@Efcmordecai

7 months

#UTFT Unleash the dogs of war @premierleague

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

To think if he'd just gone with "all the parties were in honour of Captain Tom" from the outset he'd be polling at 60% by now

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

Don't miss Laurence Fox's emotional farewell song to himself, "Cancelled in the Wind"

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

Lee Hurst has stormed off the set of Unsafe Space after being asked to wear a mask in the backstage area

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

Andrew Neil describes his coronary arteries

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

11 months

Rickie Lambert has sensationally WITHDRAWN his consent to be governed by any corrupt, compromised, belligerent or criminal parliament or government, the former Southampton striker adding that he WILL NOT COMPLY

Rickie lambert

@SaintLambo07

11 months

If you agree please change your profile photo and post your own video saying exactly the same

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

If you've ever said "I could murder my own nan for a pint", now's your chance #SuperSpreaderSaturday

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

This is actually not the first time that Kwasi Kwarteng has given Liz Truss a weak pound

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

"Okay, who ordered the bag of tuna and the suffocated tomato?"

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@TheIDSmiths

3 years

Marx Got the World in Motion

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

6 months

He actually flew in a few days ago on the 17th to film an advert for Medjool dates. Google "Jerry Seinfeld dated a 17-year-old girl when he was 40" to find out more

Hananya Naftali

@HananyaNaftali

6 months

Jerry Seinfeld lands in Israel in show of solidarity. THANK YOU!

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

Proud to be the first MP to wear an enormous poppy on my face this year in the House of Commons

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

Idea for 2020 plot twist: Tommy Robinson turns out to be not actually white, he was just covered in cocaine and milkshake the whole time

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 months

Lord Bethell

@JimBethell

4 months

This is disgusting. A whole @CadburyUK cream egg in a @Dominos_UK cookie. These are serious corporate food companies. What are they thinking? The executive team, the board and the shareholders should be ashamed of themselves.

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

5 months

Boomer 1: I think I fought in both World Wars Boomer 2 (huffing leaded petrol):

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

9 days

Me (failing to assassinate someone with a milkshake): I suppose I could try the gun

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

SHOPLIFTING DOWN TWELVETY THOUSAND HUNDRED AND FIFTEENY-EIGHT THOUSAND MILLION PER CENTS #PritiPatel

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

Who’s spoken to the most managers?

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

8 months

Me (living in a country that’s been moulded in his image): Hahaha he ate a bug 🤣🤣🤣

Politics UK

@PolitlcsUK

8 months

🚨 NEW: Nigel Farage is in talks over a £1m deal to appear on next month’s I’m A Celeb [ @EmilyMWebber_ ]

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

Doesn't get commented on enough that Michael Gove is the absolute spit of Rupert Murdoch's stomach

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

(Turns on TV, sees Tim Montgomerie, Angela Epstein, Victoria Atkins and Melanie Phillips furiously admonishing Diane Abbott, Ash Sarkar, Zarah Sultana and Layla Moran) Good thing there's no racism in this country or this would look *bad*

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

5 years

Prince Andrew - “When Dukes Lie” #PrinceAndrewASongOrFilm #PrinceAndrewInterview #PrinceAndrewBBC #dukeofyork #NonceUponATime #PizzaExpressWoking

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

Tune in at 3pm for her most explosive interview yet

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@TheIDSmiths

1 month

Despite everything else it's genuinely heartwarming that Andrew Neil has subjected himself to a horrible evening for no other reason than he wanted to support the genocide team

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

1 month

At least he got his song out there and heard by millions (of ultra right-wing first-time viewers who are furious he even exists)

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

4 years

An emotional musical tribute to Jess Phillips and her all-too-brief leadership campaign - this is “Kendall in the Wind”

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

6 months

Ian Dunt

@IanDunt

6 months

Yes, similar. It's baffling to me. A principled right winger who is consistent with free market principles on issues like immigration and drugs. If all right wingers were like that, we'd be in a better place.

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

Before I get deported for browsing the RNLI's online gift shop, I'd just like to say what an honour it was to be part of this country when it defeated racism at the ballot box in 2019

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

15 days

🚨 The Labour Party has blocked Keir Starmer from standing at the upcoming election following the emergence of a 5-day-old interview in which he described himself as a 'socialist'

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

7 months

Fair play to Gary Lineker for doing just about the bravest thing a British public figure can do: retweet a left-winger who opposes transphobia and massacring Muslim populations

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

7 months

Rolling Stone

@RollingStone

7 months

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson admitted that he and his son monitored each other’s porn intake in a resurfaced clip from 2022

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

3 years

Laura Kuenssbjörk

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

9 months

If I won the lottery I would book out every show on a Jimmy Carr tour and fill the audiences with people who imitate his laugh in response to every joke

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

11 days

So the BBC's political editor stood in front of a camera day after day talking about 'the antisemitism crisis that's tearing Labour apart' knowing full well the entire time it was a factional gambit for professional sociopaths to keep accepting bribes from private water companies

BBC Sounds

@BBCSounds

12 days

'We'll have to take them apart piece by piece.' Laura and Paddy discuss the battle for supremacy between different wings of the Labour Party, on the latest #BBCNewscast

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

If only Rory Stewart had won the Tory leadership contest, we could be pummelling people's living standards without all this unseemly cake shit

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TheIainDuncanSmiths

@TheIDSmiths

2 years

Great mind at work here. All it took for him to realise the Conservatives are bad people with bad intentions is for one of them explicitly state “we are bad people with bad intentions”

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