Jenny Lawson @TheBloggess Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@amalmariei

@alsharekh_org

@BlairBigham

@saradavo

@GregoirePerra

@ChildrensNatCEO

@OlgaSorkineH

@GaikokuIts84263

@ii_zedd

@demianvonosten

@DanielRoachLFC

@helovinparisss

@EFAA_GATA

@BrawlStars

@marmite

@ZTXofficial

@icerenkoypasiff

@VALINOTIRES

@jksconfetti

@UMNSDS

@kkyukirby

@tmsturridge

@shysureness

@BldReyna

@gopherhockeysi

@Itztipsyqueen

@CentralBotafogo

@moh7_wadaa

@RussParrShow

@springframework

@MontokIstri

@gsDiLu

@KadCSDA

@MBDemocrats

@WoolworthsFC

@chris

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

My husband and I worked hard to pay off our student loan debt and we’ve saved for decades for our child’s college fund, so is it fair that others might just get their student debt forgiven? Yes. It totally is. I don’t need others to suffer just bc I did.

6K

20K

198K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

Someone just asked me if it’s true that ADD meds are more addictive than heroin. I’ve forgotten to take my ADD meds for the last three days in a row. If you can forget you’re addicted to heroin then yeah, it’s probably the same thing.

396

4K

50K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

Very frustrated lady next to me at Gamestop: "My son Kevin wants Fork Knife for his birthday but no place has it in stock." me: I think it's Fortnite. Her: No. It's definitely Fork Knife. Sorry Kevin. I tried.

1K

4K

26K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

8 years

Hesitantly tapped on #trumpgirlsbreaktheinternet . Found this trending.

188

20K

25K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

1 year

In case you're wondering how things are going in Texas, our district canceled all sex ed classes this year but is now required to offer kids training in bleeding control techniques, including "tourniquets approved for use in battlefield trauma care by the armed forces."

730

7K

20K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

1 year

A rando man just called me out for wearing a mask AS WE BOTH ENTERED A HOSPITAL. I was like, “Even if you’ve already been exposed to flesh-eating cholera doesn’t mean it’s fair for me to expose everyone else here.”

165

558

16K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

People who are shocked that Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade are dead because “but they had everything!” clearly do not understand mental illness. It is as deadly as cancer. It tells terrible lies. Just because it’s not visible doesn’t mean it’s not real.

160

4K

12K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Big, terrifying news. Today I’m signing the lease for my bookstore bar. I want to vomit and cry all at the same time. Get ready for @NowhereBookshop , San Antonio.

627

588

11K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

Am I the only person who wears the same clothes 2-3 days in row bc it’s too mentally taxing to put together a new outfit?

927

114

10K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

Hailey and their sweetheart on their way to junior prom. Love them.

498

42

9K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

Yeah sex is cool but have you ever stayed up until 3am bc the book you’re reading is so brilliant you have to read “just one more chapter” and then another and then another until you give up on sleep and give yourself completely to the story?

219

755

9K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

1 year

Mother. Fucker.

328

473

8K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

Victor: Why did you buy a Build-a-Bear outfit? Me: For reasons.

139

505

8K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

#WhyIDidntReport Because I wasn’t ready to confront it. I’m still not. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I’ve written and deleted this tweet dozens of times bc even saying this much is scary.

271

904

8K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

This is the face of a woman who just got her second covid vaccine.

176

26

8K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

Hi. I’m still alive. If you’re reading this, you are too. I’m proud of us both.

120

465

8K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

This is the face of a woman who sometimes fears the mailman but who somehow conquered Scotland. Feeling stupidly proud of myself right now.

219

71

6K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

If you’re reading this, I’m glad you exist. Even if we haven’t met yet, I’m glad you’re real.

208

369

6K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

i had a bad week. then a good few days. then tonight i’m crashing. i hate depression. i hate not knowing who i’m going to be from day to day. i know this will pass. if you’re here too you are not alone.

304

216

6K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

1 year

This makes me sick to write but more sick not to... an armed student was just arrested at my kid's school after a very brave student reported them. Do me a favor. Tonight, talk to your kids about who and how to report when they hear or see something. It might save lives.

123

435

6K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Hey you. Take care of yourself tonight. Take a hot bath. Get in bed with a great book. Snuggle with a warm animal. Tell someone they make you happy. Tell them it's going to be okay. Tell yourself that too.

166

1K

6K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Walked to my (always deserted) park with Dottie. Man on the other side of the park with his dog yells: I’M NOT SICK BUT DONT COME OVER HERE. THAT SECTION OF PARK IS YOURS NOW. THIS SECTION IS MINE, OKAY? I’m now queen of this 20 foot section of grass. Life is weird now.

58

302

6K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

I am having a very sad day and things feel very awful and I am hiding in my room so my daughter won’t see me cry and I just want someone to pet my head and tell me it’ll be alright.

1K

41

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

I’ve learned to knit. Hunter S Thomcat will never be cold again.

139

403

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Hey. You need a hug, I think. I'm sending you one right now. It's gonna be okay.

290

456

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

7 years

If you're reading this it means you survived this day. Sometimes that can be a really big damn deal. I'm proud of you.

93

2K

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

This is my amazing daughter. We are so proud of her. I don't think you'll have a problem with this but if you do you can fuck all the way off.

449

218

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Thank you so much for your love. My grandfather passed this afternoon. We smuggled his dog, Buster, into the hospital to be with him. He was loved.

405

28

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

I just told my family that I was thinking about trying Madison Reed (the home-hair-dye) but I got confused and said I was going to try Ashley Madison (the website for cheating spouses). So there’s that.

518

235

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

I love you. You are important. Even if we haven’t met yet. Even if we never meet. You are a light in this world. Never doubt it.

126

773

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Sometimes cancelling all your plans, putting on pajamas and staying home to binge watch tv is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

132

393

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

I’m waiting for an oil change. This woman just rescued a stray kitten from the busy street. I offered to take it but she’s besotted. “I guess we need each other,” she says.

181

298

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

You know when you’re so devastated something you wanted didn’t work out and then later you learn more and you’re like, “THANK FUCK I DODGED THAT BULLET”? Sometimes you have to trust that the universe is working in your favor even when it hurts.

125

469

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

I wrote a bestselling book about living with mental illness. I’m still fighting with insurance to cover my antidepressants. Meanwhile, I could buy an AR-15 in under an hour. I could buy one years before I buy beer. Something is wrong here. #GunReformNow

100

2K

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

This thread is everything.

Grant Ginder

@GrantGinder

5 years

A #NationalComingOutDay thread! When I was 13, I began collecting pictures of hot men that I found on AOL. I kept them on my family's computer, in a file called "downloads" I thought no one looked at, and I labeled them with the one word I knew to describe hot men: beefcake.

590

8K

54K

30

735

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Victories can look very different when you have mental illness. Did you take a shower? Did you call your dr even though you're exhausted? Did you survive yesterday? Never doubt that those are enormous victories. We know. You're not alone. #WorldMentalHealthDay

63

1K

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

1 year

Is there a word for when you find out someone who fucked you over a million years ago finally got their comeuppance and you feel incredibly vindicated but equally incredibly petty?

388

96

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

I’ve been mia a bit bc I’ve been fighting off a depression. It always seems irrational after it’s passed but so impossible to overcome when you’re mired in it.

298

96

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Victor travels for work half of his life. Right now he’s on a plane sitting across from a man who brought a box of pizza on the plane and is handing it out to people. The man in Bill Murray.

84

167

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

My granny got me addicted to Stephen King when I was a kid, and before she died she gave me her collection which spanned decades. Today I spent my birthday reading an advance copy of @StephenKing ’s upcoming book and hoping she was looking over my shoulder.

145

123

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

OMG OMG OMG. BROKEN IS #4 ON THE INDIE BESTSELLER LIST AND NUMBER 3 ON THE NYT BESTSELLER LIST.

176

53

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

Every day I vacillate between feeling like I’m totally fine and falling the fuck apart.

281

329

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

Unexpectedly sobbing. Hell yes.

145

122

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

Did you know that wax paper is not the same as parchment paper even though they totally look the same? Did you know one of them CATCHES ON FIRE in the oven? Do you know what my fire alarm sounds like? I can now answer “yes” to all three, as of today.

243

97

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

I had a small panic attack on stage (complete with a terrible, awkward minute of silence in the spotlight) but even so the audience was so understanding. People are so much kinder than we think. Now I’m going to melt.

TEDxSanAntonio

@TEDxSanAntonio

5 years

"Maybe your story is about #mentalillness . Maybe it’s about abuse. Maybe it’s about survival or redemption. Maybe it doesn’t have an ending yet. But whatever your story is, I want to hear it." - @TheBloggess #JennyLawson #TEDxSanAntonio

38

98

1K

185

161

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Dear anyone working the front lines to keep people safe and fed and alive: Thank you. Dear anyone doing everything they can to limit contagion: I love you. Dear anyone struggling: You are not alone. Dear anyone still acting cavalier about this: Fuck all the way off.

48

1K

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

I had the most emotionally complicated day of my whole life and I’m too exhausted to write about it but one day soon I will and it’s the most unbelievable story ever and coming from me, that’s really fucking something.

220

22

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

This is 48.

235

3

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

me: If you could take over any person's job in the world what would you do? My daughter: I'd be the person who runs @wendys . me: ...Like the President of the burger place? Her: No, the person who runs their twitter account. They seem fun. REACH FOR THE STARS.

61

257

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

At the hair salon for the first time in 16 months. My stylist: Did you…dear God…did you give yourself bangs? Me: *whispers* It was a dark time, Trisha. The women around me nod solemnly. Trisha makes the sign of the cross and returns to her work.

88

228

5K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

Hunter S Thomcat doesn’t have cancer! I know you weren’t worried bc I didn’t say anything but the vet just got back his biopsy and WHOOP!

130

18

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Hey. You. Let’s be friends.

433

71

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Thank you for listening even when I'm not funny or entertaining. Seriously. You don't know what a difference it makes.

178

30

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

1 year

Getting help for depression is not for the weak. It is hard as hell and anyone who battles it deserves a goddamn high-five and a shit ton of respect.

51

494

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

I’m not sure who needs to hear this but abortions are fucking painful and exhausting and hard. No one gets one for fun. But I would not be alive today without access to safe abortion. And I suspect so many people you know and love would say the same.

31

329

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Roses are red My keyboard I tap My cats won’t let me type Unless they’re sitting in my lap.

135

396

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

Listen. I'm not sure why I need to say this, but I've taken SSRIs for decades. They don't make me violent or dangerous. They aren't for everyone but they saved my life and I'm not alone.

110

262

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

I would die for Jorts. Also, every ginger boy I've ever had has been dumb as a box of cheese, unable to groom themselves and the snuggliest bits of miracles to ever exist. Don't butter them.

Am I the Asshole?

@AITA_online

2 years

AITA for “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes” about Jorts?

2K

16K

77K

156

269

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Today was all about small steps and little victories. Tonight my family is safe and under one roof. I can breath. Thank you much for having my back.

226

18

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

So...I have some big news:

294

276

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Day after tomorrow I'm doing a TedX talk about dealing with depression but I'm failing at memorizing it because I'm currently dealing with depression. So that's what's happening here.

243

77

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

Today this one turns 18. I am not prepared to be the parent of an adult. I’m not even prepared to be an adult. But I’m so very proud of them.

134

15

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

I’m reading a book about writing and it says to be a truly great writer you can’t be afraid to kill off your favorite characters and I’m not sure if this applies to memoirists but my husband is pretty lucky I’m not that dedicated to my craft.

45

296

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

Fully vaccinated. Ready to return to the world. Her first day of high school inside an actual high school. Me: want me to go in with you to find your first class? Hailey: Nope. I got it. She does.

56

9

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

I just read that depression and anxiety give you memory loss and I honestly can’t remember if I already knew that.

74

406

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

The old floors at @NowhereBookshop were given a super cleaning this week and these were uncovered embedded in the tiles. Paw prints and baby feet.

107

75

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

People are asking why I’m not responding to the thousands of insults on yesterdays tweet and I think Robert Frost said it best when he said, “Two paths diverged in the woods and I took the one without as many angry dicks on it, because, what am I, crazy?”

53

126

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Hey. If you’re reading this you survived September. I did too. Long-distance high five, my friend.

56

396

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

7 years

Be kind. Do good. Remember that there are far more good people in the world than bad. They're just not as obvious as the assholes.

35

1K

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

I was too freaked out to take the requisite selfie but here’s me after getting my first covid vaccine.

105

7

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

I can’t sleep. Today we remove life support for my sweet grandfather. He’s ready. I hope I will be. He’ll be surrounded by family. If you pray, please say one for him. Let it be easy.

440

21

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

I just realized that I don’t have to go to a single awkward holiday party this year.

101

133

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Hailey is spending the week with my parents and just called me from an abandoned fort cemetery where she’s chasing armadillos. Also she’s in full Victorian garb.

149

42

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Lease signed! @NowhereBookshop has a home! Now it just needs a new floor and reading cubbies and shelves and a bar and paint. And books. Is there an @hgtv show called “Help!I have a fun space that needs to be transformed into a magical, whimsical indie bookstore?” Please?

186

120

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

Knock knock, motherfucker. #AnniversariesIn3Words

158

239

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Buckle up, because this story is insane even for me but I can't not share it:

376

264

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

I saw Neil Gaiman trending and I thought something happened to him. Phew. PROTECT @neilhimself AT ALL COSTS.

54

281

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

Hey. If anybody made you feel bad or unwanted they’re an asshole and I hate them for you.

116

275

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Lots of signs in my area were going missing. I added this note to the back of my new sign last week. Still here.

70

240

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

Remember that depression tells terrible lies. They are so believable when I'm in that dark place, but whever I crawl back out I can see clearly. You are so needed. Trust me. #HowIFightDepression

63

821

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

Apparently there was a labeling mix-up at my po box so I got a big bag of someone else’s pills & someone got one of my packages. I recently ordered a taxidermied prairie dog dressed as Daenerys Targaryen so this will be a surprise for everyone.

76

461

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

As of today @NowhereBookshop is finally open! It’s quiet but lovely. A steady trickle of people coming in and children reading and people discussing books. It is fucking magical.

109

131

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Working on my dress made of books for @NowhereBookshop and I can’t decide if I’m done or not.

233

159

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

Y’all. Today my whole family is fully vaccinated and I’m still too paranoid to eat at a restaurant but we just went through the drive-thru and I’m having the first frozen margarita I’ve had in 14 months.

116

19

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

I was having a bad day so I knitted a turtle neck and an Elizabethan ruff for Dorothy Barker.

139

219

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

If you couldn’t sleep until everything was over and suddenly found yourself having an anxiety attack at 3am bc you finally let yourself relax a little, you are not alone. Breathe. Drink a glass of water. It’s okay.

80

182

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

Having a quiet New Year’s Eve at home. Feeling a little sad. Decided to dress Dorothy Barker up and give her extra treats. Not feeling sad anymore. Merry New Year’s Eve, y’all.

169

59

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

1 year

I don’t know if flesh-eating cholera exists but I couldn’t think of anything else bc I’m sick. Possibly from flesh-eating cholera. Who knows?

9

27

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

We just got unexpectedly moved from Economy to first class as a result of having a husband who spends more time in the air than on the ground. ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING FANCY, Y’ALL. Next stop, Italy. Hopefully.

93

18

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

I had the very worst mental health day today and was irrationally convinced that everyone hates me and then a friend told me I was stupid and she loves me and it was a life raft. So this is me telling you, in case you need to hear it. Don't be stupid. I super love you.

236

249

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

2 years

You know how sometimes you forget something you’ve always known? Like suddenly you can’t remember what your zip code is for like a minute? That’s normal, right?

398

60

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

I wonder how many other people stay up late into the night obsessively worrying because they know they need to write a personal email tomorrow or talk to a person in real life or do something that most normal ppl don’t think twice about.

363

181

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

Y'all, I haven't read this Bible completely but my granny assures me that separating children from parents was only done by the baddies and she's been reading that book for like 90 years.

46

510

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

After a week of exams and tests the dr thinks Dorothy Barker May have bladder cancer. She referred us to a great oncologist. If you believe that healing thoughts help dogs you can send them to this sweet girl.

446

51

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

My mom used to tell me if I ate too much popcorn I’d get pack-belly and have to go to the hospital. I just found out pack-belly isn’t a real thing. My life is a lie.

843

166

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

1 year

Look, if crying about a parasocial relationship with a pug is wrong then I’m wrong. When I am President it will be illegal for pets to die.

71

98

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

4 years

If no one has told you yet, Merry Christmas. I am so glad you exist.

155

367

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

6 years

For every person you see sharing #WhyIDidntReport know that there scores of men and women who are still afraid to tell their story. Sexual assault is so much more common than we want to believe.

51

878

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

5 years

I’ve been dealing with a bout of depression this week. It’s still hanging around but I’m still here. So are you if you are reading this. I will be here when it lifts. I hope you will be too. Keep breathing and remember that depression lies.

217

365

4K

Jenny Lawson

@TheBloggess

3 years

I’m working on a thing that would have taken a normal person 20 minutes and it’s taken me 5 hours and I’m drowning and want to cry and I suddenly just realized “Oh this is depression” and I’m giving myself permission to stop.

92

104

4K