regina phalange @TeiMutuku Twitter profile

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@h__gildong

@BahanFantasy

regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

As the year ends,lemme entertain y'all with kidogo trauma that I have😂

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

I won't vote for Raila and Ruto because they think as a Kenyan youth I'm worth chrome gin, wheelbarrows and 6k. 6k is not even ¼ of my semesters fee, idiots

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@TeiMutuku

2 years

A man was arrested last week in my home town. We called him Jomba Hassan. He was everyone's favorite cool uncle,an unmarried man in his late 40s. Kids would hang out in his compound after school & he'd always have snacks for them...1/5

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

After a long debate of whether or not to post these on twitter😅

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@TeiMutuku

6 months

Kikuyu men are never beating the allegations 🤣 We're on a date with my bf, but he's also on a business meeting like 5 tables away from me😆😆😆

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@TeiMutuku

6 months

Been wondering why my data always works even though I haven't bought data bundles in so long Jana I explained it to my man then he says ni ju he's added me to his data plan,so when he washas his data, I get an active internet connection on my end, and y'all -🥺🥺😭

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@TeiMutuku

2 years

There's soooo many better artists in Kenya who could use this exposure,but nooooo wacha tuskize kifuniko ya gas

NTV Kenya

@ntvkenya

2 years

Rapper Diana B: I am the one writing my songs.

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@TeiMutuku

2 months

Carrie Wahu when she got there:

Smurkio

@smurkcarter0

2 months

These two pics were taken from exact location

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

5 months

A man was about to grope my ass, nikamwambia asinishike. He got 'angry' & chased me for a good 200m 💔 Mind you, watu walikua wamesimama tu wanacheka🥲 Nimekaa tu chini in the middle of town & cried like a baby man That's it, I'm getting a taser & pepper spray!

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@TeiMutuku

10 months

I absolutely don't have it in me to grow any other social media profile. The energy I have left is for forcing things on LinkedIn 😂😂

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

4 months

Scrap the entire Women representative position. It's a waste of taxpayers money tbh.

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

#NewProfilePic

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

Streaks za wanaume hukua so boring. Football,bangi,pombe,steering wheel repeat repeat repeat smh

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

6 months

Sota ujue mabeshte wako fr😭😭😭😭😭😭Uganda, Tanzania na Rwanda tumewamark🫵

Uganda CAA

@UgandaCAA

6 months

Please ignore the trending video of an unfortunate situation at an airport in a neighboring country, which some WhatsApp users have wrongly attributed to Entebbe International Airport. Note that this is not Entebbe International Airport.

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@TeiMutuku

7 months

Stepped out of my comfort zone & paid for an Ad with GK Nyambura instead of using Instagram ads. I have to stan🙌🏼 The traffic on my page? Yaani leo wananimaliza na orders tu🥹

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 months

Theres a cop called Caro at the GBV desk at Kinango Police Station. Huge shout out to her for fighting,literally, for all gbv survivors. She follows up with phone calls too to make sure you're doing well.

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

My sister is autistic. She also limps because of improper diagnosis done when she was 3yrs. The school she goes to is well aware of this bc she's the only one with this condition. Now why would a teacher beat her till she faints because of FOOD????

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@TeiMutuku

7 months

Kuna ushamba ingine yenye no amount of money can remove aki🤣

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

1 year

Media update

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

Lol, I found out that sometimes,when our lecturers are hired for projects,they give it to us as assignments,pick the best one,modify it a little and submit it as their work. I was so upset lakini nataka kugraduate so I still do them😩

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

🍭☺️

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@TeiMutuku

4 months

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 small world!!!!!!!

khalif kairo

@KhalifKairo

4 months

Bibi ameskia nawakelewa kienyeji akakuja kumark territory😅 @Glamby_el_hair

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

4 months

Someone tell Jerida Andayi to bring Neema outside!

Dr. Oluwabukola ✨

@Prettyfaze

4 months

It’s cold outside and I’m not playing 😂😩. #selfies

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 months

Gosh, this is so insensitive. He's been suffering since he was 2, he wants out bc of a medical condition and you lot are using this as a meme?😐🫤

bugdoll 𐙚

@jeansleazy

2 months

me at the slightest inconvenience:

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@TeiMutuku

3 months

🤣🤣🤣🤣umedelete ju huna content ya kudefend your argument. Msikue mnaleta mikundu kwenye mazungumzo ya watu wazima wenye akili

Mercy Masai

@Mercymasai3

3 months

Deleted! Sina nguvu ya kubishana leo but I insist empowering our girls and boys will be more fruitful 😊.

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 months

I will wait for the next matatu. Sitaki sambaza, sisimami,in short I refuse to be the excess passenger in a matatu🙄 Just like Kinoti, Nitangoja😌

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

7 months

My bf was leaving the club or bar,idk...he saw a vendor selling like 10 stems of roses & 1 stem of baby's breath, he got them for me @ ksh.120/=😅 He has never understood why sth that cheap made me that happy, but he hasn't stopped getting me flowers since then.

Tega ✞

@xxtega

7 months

If you’re broke, nobody will believe that you’re romantic

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

Photodump from a wonderful weekend. Turned 22☺️🎉

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@TeiMutuku

3 months

I could do a whole book,omg🥹🥰 He points out when my flowers are drying and gets a fresh bouquet. He goes to church with me and takes me out for lunch after, every Sunday. He makes me breakfast on Sundays because he's not working.

⁴⁴₅₅¹⁶Joy❤️‍🔥

@JoyJMurraya

4 months

Can you guys cleanse the timeline with your experience in a healthy and happy relationship?? Tired of seeing all the bad reviews

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

23 days

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂NKT!!!!!

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

9 months

What won't God do jameni Big Fish is finally in Nyeri Alhamdhulilah the days we prayed for🤣🤣 Congratulations @osumo_brad

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

5 months

1500/= na unapewa free soup😍 The real hidden gem

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

6 months

You're very loud & insensitive for someone who's daily location is known by every person on this app🌚

Masao

@Gesonso1

6 months

Huyo alitombwa sim2 na haikutoka damu so meaning ako familiar na game.

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

1 year

I have a theory that Nivea chapsticks are made to intentionally keep your lips dry, so you can keep applying untill it's over in like a month And you just keep restocking, & the cycle continues

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 months

Thread of foods I make for my boo🤭 (Ugali rarely makes an appearance huku)

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

7 months

To be clear,I wasn't out with her,she was with her other friends. I got to the house at midnight & realised she wasn't home yet. Tried calling her simu ikalia then ikazimwa It's unlike her to be offline this long, that's why I'm worried. Anyway,ndio tumereport Police station

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@TeiMutuku

9 months

Anyway,my fundi never misses, and she did this in 1 DAY!😍 Na sasa nikisema hio price mtadhani I'm lying🤣

regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

11 months

Urgently (desperately) looking for an infinity dress like this one Please plug me🥹🥹🥹🥹

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

6 months

She cleared primary school this week🥹🥹🥹my parents threw her a party,they didn't even wait for the results🤣

regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

My sister is autistic. She also limps because of improper diagnosis done when she was 3yrs. The school she goes to is well aware of this bc she's the only one with this condition. Now why would a teacher beat her till she faints because of FOOD????

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@TeiMutuku

10 months

Theres no twitter advice I take with so much weight like that one for "Close your laptop beloved,you've done enough" 😂

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

6 months

Hey gen z are the change makers we were waiting for 🫡

Ivy Chelimo (Boset)

@_chelimo_

6 months

King of the mountain 👑

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

So him he goes to Zero19 with his boys and I'm to join him later bc I have to finish up cleaning dishes. So hapo 6, I'm done,nimevaa thotfit you'd think I'm still in coast na vile it's cold in Nyeri,but you know,pombe ndio hukua jacket on Fridays

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@TeiMutuku

2 years

look at that😍!

regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

My aunt is the only Kenyan tailor who delivers...can't wait to do a proper what I ordered vs what was delivered post 🥰

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

It's just one of the many things I went through that I look at now and laugh 😂😂😂 You if you have your makasirikos for 2020 don't bring them here,just laugh and go pls

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

..section,I have to be let in. He's gassing me up akiuliza Kama I'll join them. Girl Z is seated there,he wants me to join them at their table. The audacity of this man😂😂he says "c'mon now, I'm sure you and Z will end being friends,you both think alike, you'll click"

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

...gives up trying to convince me to show up at zero19. He hangs up and he send me money "nikajibambe with my girls" lmaoo😂😂 I decide to stop over kwa hio club maana nashangaa henh,mbaba kaacha nyama nyumbani akale mishkaki kwenye baa

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

1 year

Out for a small meeting😍 & the sun was really blinding me in f2,omg😭

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

This man is who I wanna be when I grow up 😂😂😂😂😂Tweets dumb shit but the accolades to his name... impressive!

Dr. John Njenga Karugia PhD.

@johnnjenga

2 years

Ngasoma twitter. Ngaona le thread. Madame Sherry ngaandika. Karibu ngatuma pesa. Tumbo ngahisi baridi. Ngasoma twitter tena. Ngaona le thread mupya ya monsieur Obare. Madame Sherlin ngatengeneza hata video. Inchi muzima ngamwaya pesa. Cabugah ni batu banjanja! Mbolingo na Ngai!🙆🏾‍♂️

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

then he hangs up. I decide I won't send my location because 😭😭

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@TeiMutuku

1 month

All KOT men(incels) are defending the pregnant tiktok girl, that's how you know she's doing something very wrong😅😅🤣

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@TeiMutuku

7 months

This place gives kienyeji vibes😂 their demographic must be mshamba,new money men

Mwende Frey

@mwendefrey

7 months

You said tunacopy Cardi B we stop twerking, we heard you and we have gone All African. The Essence of Man's Chamber Angels is to serve the African King. Today is African Theme Day.

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@TeiMutuku

6 months

Wacha nifungue roho kwanza😩 They were making me pay 500/= for a glass we broke. I asked them nipeleke hio glass ju ni glass ya 130, wakakataa🙁

Mwihaki

@Mwihakiwanganga

6 months

I've sampled over 40 restaurants in Nairobi and I must say that Bwibo is the worst of them. 🤮🤮 eat anywhere else even it's your man's ass.

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

6 months

It's end month. Another chance for broke men & women to fight on the TL about how they don't like each other😩

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

1 year

Anyway,for the girls who cook for their men,ugali ya wimbi with boiled fish & kapilipili will have him wrecking your insides 8 times in a night.

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 months

🥂

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

So I'm dating this man,and we're living together(sort of) and he has had so many affairs over the year that I no longer talk about it. I just go about my bs like the clown I am

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

I'm past all that at this point and I'm having fun with my babies. At around 9 we're really drunk and you know, everyone's calling their mans,then there's me hapo

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

I'm so angry because these are kids I've known since the day they were born These are the cops who arrest people for masks but laugh with a rapist These are the mothers who're supposed to be protecting their kids. They've all failed all those little angels.

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

I ask her what is she wants exactly bc Kama it's my man nimemuachia kwa room bc as of this point I'm done with the man😂 She's stuttering so I ask Kama it's me she wants bc Kama Ni hio anataka tutateremshana tu bila shida

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

After wametoka,I tell my girlfriend,Mimi I'm not sleeping here😂I have a boyfriend who's looking for me and I know he's shit but he's my shit so I'm gonna call my cab guy anikujie anipeleke nyumbani to my boo. Lmao this is literally me omw back to my cheating man

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

1 year

Hakuna dem hudeal na nick muthumbi anabaki normal😂 what is he giving them?

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

1 year

Ukigoogle mamake utaelewa hio tweet. One of the biggest names in the engineering field in EA

Malcolm eggs

@Nottdexx

1 year

Hahahaha.

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

Coast is a terrifying place for girls. I'm 22 but I'm scared of men from coast. Defilement & rape are so rampant down there. I don't know if it's the illiteracy or poverty or stupidity but I really wish that wasn't the case

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 months

No man shall put apart what God has brought together, Amen?

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

#NewProfilePic & one more☺️

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 months

Usiwai kuja Kenya tena, umeskia?

Benny Hinn

@Benny_Hinn

2 months

Signs, miracles, and wonders are happening in Kenya! To Jesus be the glory!

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

7 months

#NewProfilePic & a couple more:)

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

1 year

Huku ukisema TV ipunguzwe volume unaulizwa kwani mashetani zako haziskizani na gospel music😕

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

8 months

Huyu alikua bff wa that flamboyant scammer guy who got arrested a while back, must've learnt a thing or two from him

Ivy Wamahiga

@IvyWamahiga

8 months

Lunch is still 50ksh per meal! We’ve been feeding 45 kids in Tumaini Primary School and will continue to do so courtesy of you amazing sponsors! ❤️ Thank you so much! 🫶🏼 Join us and cater for a kid’s meal through a donation😊 PAYBILL: 720618 ACCOUNT NUMBER: TUMAINI LUNCHES

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

6 months

Dick naweza pata any time i want, wewe hio kitu unatafuta kwa bio yako unaona ukipata lini?

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

I let myself into the compound and I see his friends cars so I'm getting worked up ju Hawa boys wake hukua nyokssss,in my mind😂 Bc I cook for them host them all the time and still they let him cheat😂😂😂😂

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@TeiMutuku

4 months

When I explained to my Mwaitu how social media works, she didn't get it but she was so excited to make this video with me😅😂 I couldn't capture all the BTS because Im not always home, but I have put in everything I got. Pls RT, her buyer could be on your tl🤗

regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

4 months

Since my mwaitu age can't allow her to do most of the things she used to, she's been obsessed with making beautiful Nthüngis(kiondos) like this one,to pass time They look so nice I want to do a photoshoot & BTS of the process, I post them. Mtabuy?

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@TeiMutuku

2 years

I am VERY livid,mh? My parents are suing the school but I don't feel like that's enough. I want all of them jobless with tainted names that they'll never be able to get jobs again. I want all of them to die.

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

..over us tonight then. I'm going to bed. I undress and get in bed😂😂 This girl says oh,oh, we're sleeping, we're sleeping wacha basi pia Mimi nikuje tulale

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@TeiMutuku

2 years

No family would sleep hungry when Jomba Hassan was in town. You have a date & want to impress a babe,he'd give you his car as long as you fuel it. He is a wealthy man who'd gained most of his wealth in Dubz where he lived & worked for years...2/5

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

5 months

Mind you, I didn't touch him or talk back. I just blocked his hand coz I saw it coming and said "usinishike". And that hurt his nonexistent masculinity he decided to unleash his inner animal I am so angry sai,my cheeks and ears are so hot. Fuck him, fuck Ruto, fuck you all!

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@TeiMutuku

7 months

That style for tying only works on the models wallahi🤣

Pretty Baby 🤍

@Jadayshaaa

7 months

How do y’all feel about these dresses ?

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

This particular girl,lemme call her Z,has stuck around for long ju she said,"Mimi sikuachi,we niache lakini sikuachi. I'm prettier than Emma so why would you decide to settle with Emma and not me". I know she's in my man's life but I don't address it ju nishachoka kufight

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@TeiMutuku

1 year

Didn't graduate this weekend Didn't go for #solfest2022 Didn't go for #jamesonconnect Didn't go for #NSG God I beg????

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@TeiMutuku

7 months

I know how twitter geuzias people. My friend was missing, I was concerned like any person would be. Wacha nilog out sasa nisione all those vile comments you're making, trying to crucify me, when I was just trying to find her through all avenues

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

This particular day,his friends from campus are coming over to Nyeri and they're planning to party all night ju they don't get to meet often bc of work. Normally,me and my guy don't party together bc idk, it's not a tradition we've set in our relationship

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

I am really angry at this point and we're arguing na hio kelele yote hukua club😂😂and that's not a scene for me so I tell him I'm leaving. I get in my cab and text him," Let's outfuck each other tonight brother" and leave. Mandem replies"NO"

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@TeiMutuku

2 years

I'm writing this thread because I have sisters I love so much who could've been victims,if my mother never gotten a hunch about Hassan & forbade them from ever going close to him/his compound

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

I've called our cab guy and I'm finishing up my make up,theeen my boo calls me and asks Kama I've left,I say I'm about to. Akanishow,"usijaaaam,but girl Z is here in the club with us" Of course nimejam already. My nigga says,she just walked in and you know my friends ofc...

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@TeiMutuku

3 years

We get in bed the 3 of us😂😂and by now I'm cracking up bc what the fuck is happening here😂😂😂so I get up and go one of the guest rooms. There's no pillows over there so I come for my throw pillows in my room. Girl Zis now calling me akinifuata kwa nyumba

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

He's leased land to safaricom(where they've put up their mnara) He hangs out there with his cop friends in the evening wakikula mariungi na kahawa tungu almost every evening. He shows them pics of his escapades with hundreds of women he's been with in his life...they laugh...3/5

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

I find them canoodling and the moment I walk in his boys signal him ndio asichome Rada,but I've seen him. Anyway,sijakuja kufight,nilikua nimefanya the worst exams of my life and I just wanted to drink and blackout😂😂. My boo walk up to me bc they're in that kamwitu VIP...

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

Nimekumbuka I decided to quit alcohol around Dec last yr ju my ex works for eabl and I didn't want to support where his paycheck comes from bc he did me dirty🤣🤣🤣

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

😂😂urhm,no. We didn't shukishana,her brother came to pick her up. Yes, I still stayed with ✨my boo✨ and we went sight seeing the following morning😂😂😂 And before you come at me with your fake deep pity parties,I wasn't writing this thread for pity

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

He asks to see the rest of the pics as they go on with banter. There's pics of little babies in bed with Jomba Hassan,both boys and girls. Major takes pics of Jomba's phone with those selfies in display because he can't believe that's what his friends are shown & laugh at

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

A new cop(call him Major)has been assigned to the station in our town. He joins his new friends for jaba & coffee at Hassan's hangout,where they're being shown pics as always Major* notices one of those 'women' in the pics is an 8yr old kid he sees around his neighborhood

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

...bc now she's crossing a line. She says she's not going to until our boo talks to her. Mans akamshow pls leave our room Kama you want to involve your brother in this Ni sawa,let him talk to me,not you. She says she's not leaving so I tell her fine,be the holy Spirit and watch..

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

He locks the room and we go to sleep, we're not talking. Babygirl Z,knocks on the door akiitana,and she's told to go away. She starts banging on the door. I tell him to go silence her bc now she's pushing for a fight. He says,"kaache katachoka kaende"😂😂😂😂😂😂

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

I get in the house and I find my boo and my assistant (girl Z) on my favorite coach😭😭and his friends. I am literally at a loss for words. Nipigane,nitete,nitembee,nisutane? Y'all I want to fight real bad bc I know I'll feel better,but I don't. Because I'm not aviolent person

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

This man is HIV+,a fact he hasn't hidden from everyone in town,but we lived him so that was the least of our concerns. Apparently,most of these kids mother's knew he was defiling their kids but didn't speak up because he has been supporting them financially for the longest time

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

2 years

Behind the scenes,Major* was pushing the station to take action against Jomba Hassan(who has the whole force in town in his pocket) They were reluctant at first,but he eventually convinced them, I don't know how he did it,but bless his soul.

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

4 months

You can tell mtu alianza kuvaa thotfits in uni after amekuja Nairobi 😅coz why would you go to a children's home in this aki?

siah 👸🏽

@s1ah_wanja

4 months

The sun in kitui is mad… We’re here courtesy of @MJF_Kenya With my baby @Bookten8 ❤️

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

My cab guy who has been there throughout the argument offers me a blunt and tells me I should just go home. I tell him no,drop me at our kalocal(the one me and my girls go to) He drops me and leaves,we agree he's gonna pick me before curfew time

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

Eventually she stops.I get up to pick my phone from the kitchen and this girl gets in my room nikiwa kitchen...so now I'm coming back to bed she's standing there over our man akimwambia vile atamsema kwa brother yake ju he's breaking her heart🤣🤣🤣 I tell her to leave my room..

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regina phalange

@TeiMutuku

3 years

Me I decide to call him ju watu wa kwetu husema aliyekuonjesha kaweke kambi kwake. Kambi nilikua nimeekea huko. So I call him and we have a shouting match over the phone,well I'm the only one who's shouting and he's chill throughout. He tells him to send him my location and...

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