Tega ✞ @xxtega Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@aphy3d

Tega ✞

@xxtega

2 years

My new babe came from behind and covered my eyes, I elbowed her 😭😭😭😭 Forgive me my love, I had been single for a very long time 😭😭

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@xxtega

3 years

“I bought Rolex 15k” “You bought your own 150k” Relax both of them is fake.

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@xxtega

8 months

@PopCrave @PenelopyJean Rihanna’s impersonator ain’t fooling nobody 😭

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@xxtega

8 months

@Lavishtalk The first robbery wasn’t his fault, but the second?🤣

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@xxtega

3 years

Wetin person no go see for this country!

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@xxtega

1 year

No spiderverse song is touching “Sunflower”, Post Malone is that guy!

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@xxtega

3 years

Let's go back to 2016, when this my "friend" was secretly trying to woo my babe. She replied "look at my man, and look at you, do you think I'll choose you??".. They're happily married, with two kids now.

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@xxtega

2 years

MC galaxy sent Davido 3M?? No be only Sekem Sekem Sekem that guy drop? 😭😭😭😭

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@xxtega

2 years

But Moe dey call person out, dem call you out for BTC heist since, una no answer.

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@xxtega

2 years

This is one of the saddest things I’ve seen on the Internet

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@xxtega

3 years

Well, Tems is steady showing us that females can make it big in the industry without displaying nudity.

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@xxtega

8 months

If you’re broke, nobody will believe that you’re romantic

Pretty Baby 🤍

@Jadayshaaa

8 months

How do y’all feel about romance ?

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@xxtega

2 years

Kunle: how far bro Friend: I dey, you fit dash me 1k? unle: no problem g

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@xxtega

7 months

@Zazamyodor They act like they wouldn’t clean up after themselves whilst single 🤣

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@xxtega

2 years

Bringing back this epic Kanayo O Kanayo scene 😂😂

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@xxtega

3 years

A guy from down my street just killed himself after seeing his jamb score. And his father legit said "death dey hungry am since, he has been talking about it". Bro WTH!!! Bro!!!

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@xxtega

3 years

Please let today be dark humor sunday, I'm begging youu🥺 Humor me!!

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@xxtega

2 years

Lecturer just tear cultist slap for my school 🤣🤣🤣

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@xxtega

2 years

Dark humour Sunday? Let's have it!! 💀

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@xxtega

2 years

No woman on earth can actually resist this look 💯

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@xxtega

3 years

When the guy that always call me "boss" sees my account balance

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@xxtega

1 year

Using your 5k Jordans to enter your 2021 Range Rover

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@xxtega

3 years

so people actually use bucket and bowl to have shower sex.💀

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@xxtega

2 years

I love the way Oxlade is getting accolades and Tiwa savage was dragged. This is how society should be. Men first

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@xxtega

3 years

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@xxtega

9 months

@EverythingOOC For those that don’t understand, An ACNH player was doxxed (exposed) because they used a generally black hairstyle on a white character. Black people claim that a white woman whether in real life or in animations should not wear such hairstyle

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@xxtega

8 months

@lporiginalg This one gets the lgbtq pass

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@xxtega

2 years

Just putting this out here before the ban is lifted.. those of you that used Premium VPNs are the real mumus 🤣🤣🤣

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@xxtega

3 years

The TL is so messed up right now, let's "cleanse" it with dark humor! GOO

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@xxtega

3 years

Dark Humour Sunday?!! Darken the TL a little bit, let's gooo

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@xxtega

2 years

Lmfaooooo, wetin man dey do man 😂😂

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@xxtega

3 years

Dark humour sunday? Let's have it!!

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@xxtega

3 years

Dark humour sunday?! Let's have it!! Spice up the TL!

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@xxtega

2 years

“I will never cheat on you”- someone that has been sleeping with your bestfriend ever since you left to do your nysc, and even had stayed 2 weeks at his place and lied that she was in the village so no network to call all the time

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@xxtega

3 years

So I just found out that 4 of my friends who I thought were my best friends have been planning to kill me. 💔 And they'd have succeeded if not for divine intervention. We're at the police station right now.

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@xxtega

3 years

DJ cuppy dey disguise 😂

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@xxtega

3 years

Wizkid Fc are like Strippers on Twitter, they only win on polls 🤣

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@xxtega

3 years

Doggy style, but from the front. >>

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@xxtega

9 months

@GoodReddit Better healthcare than 70% of people💀

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@xxtega

2 years

How do guys with plenty roommates even have sex?? 😂😂

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@xxtega

2 years

Uncles and aunties will complain that we don't call them, like their own children call our parents

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@xxtega

3 years

Bitches got STDs but still call themselves "whole meals", "snacks". Sit back down, you're food poisoning.

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@xxtega

8 months

@SaeedDiCaprio Like; they skipped that whole part 💀

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@xxtega

3 years

One random number just called me and was like "this is the customer care from your bank". I was like "okay, how may I help you", baba legit said "Can you guess what bank your bank is?". Laugh wan kill me 😭😭😭😂😂😂 ashiere

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@xxtega

1 year

Walai Burna boy no dey port harcourt when them kill Soboma

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@xxtega

3 years

"Who dey breatheeeee" George Floyd: not me lol

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@xxtega

2 years

@laadii0 @OkoyeMaduka Be fathered by this ratio

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@xxtega

2 years

She didn't just cheat, she got married, had kids, bought a dog and gave it my name 😭😭😭

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@xxtega

3 years

@Stanic_E Na HIV HIV I just dey read for here

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@xxtega

3 years

"They sucked your mummy's breast on national TV"

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@xxtega

2 years

Siblings should know that there are times you need to be alone, and to self reflect, especially when you just bought Suya, Short bread or pure bliss.

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@xxtega

3 years

These guys here are playing Wizkid Classics shuffled with SFTOS and MIL. Bruhhh I love Wiz sm 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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@xxtega

2 years

Teachers used to bully you guys, man I used to have sex with my teachers in secondary school 😂😂

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@xxtega

3 years

Mathset is now 1,000 naira, my goodness!!!

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@xxtega

2 years

Bro, what? 😳

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@xxtega

2 years

Some of us never knack this year

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@xxtega

3 years

My Washing Machine is malfunctioning, and I'm not talking about the one with Wires and Electricity.

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@xxtega

2 years

Burna Boy is a tactical genius, If dem see am dey cry around 2AM, he go just lie say na because of Soboma death in 2010 😂😂

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@xxtega

2 years

@_oluwaseun9 @Yemihazan Find yourself in Sunday school instead

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@xxtega

2 years

If Bella Shmurda brings "Cash App", what will Zinoleesky and Mohbad bring?

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@xxtega

2 years

Twitter has taught me two things over the years. There are incredibly intelligent people in the world. Secondly, they are vastly outnumbered.

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@xxtega

2 years

Me: *Enters bolt* Bolt Driver: Tega, yeah? Me: yeah Driver: like Oghenetega? Me: Uhm…. Yeah 👀 Driver: *singing* Otega, Oghenetega, Oghene meyenuwe, Oghenetega…… hahahahahah🤡 Please what is lower than 1 star?? 😤

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@xxtega

2 years

Did Blaqbonez say “I didn’t kiss her because she just came from Dubai”? 😂😂

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@xxtega

2 years

Person win 1 million naira for tecno promo, he carry the money go buy iPhone 😂😂

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@xxtega

2 years

I'm at the airport, and this man forgot to check in his body cream. Instead of allowing them to throw it away, he started rubbing it all over his body 😂😂😭😭

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@xxtega

3 years

My helper don dey call me boss, sapa nice camouflage.😩

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@xxtega

2 years

Nobody craves privacy than someone withdrawing 1k from the ATM 😂

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@xxtega

3 years

Guy: "I'm hungryy" Broke ass U24 Gf: "Oya get up and go and eat, or I'll be angry".

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@xxtega

3 years

Burna Boy's networth: $20 million Wizkid's networth: $30 million Davido's networth: $40 million All of you killing yourselves for them: monthly sub

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@xxtega

2 years

@provii8 @fineboybella Your current babe no fine pass that girl, and na throwback

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@xxtega

9 months

@wildtiktokss The fact that he trusted you with his drink, long enough says that he already trusts you with his life, but like others you bailed when he needed you the most, good riddance 👍

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@xxtega

3 years

When I was in JS 2, I had a crush on this girl in SS 2, so one time we had exams, and they shuffled us both to write in the same hall. I heard her tell her friend she had problem in Biology. So I borrowed my bro's text book, crammed biology all night just so i could help her....

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@xxtega

3 years

Brighto is a real Patriarch! One of the few men! "What did you expect me to say, say "good morning"?" Brooo

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@xxtega

3 years

Imagine having 9 months to think of a name for your child and the best you could come up with was Christopher 😭

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@xxtega

2 years

The first time my dad sent me to a bank, I didn't see the account number he wrote for me, so I copied the account number of the woman beside me 😭😭😭

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@xxtega

2 years

When you're both virgins

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@xxtega

3 years

Wtf! 😭😂

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@xxtega

3 years

I'm about to get a pr job by month end. And I'm required to get 9k followers by then. Please help me reach that goal, i follow back . Thank you ❤

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@xxtega

8 months

@layiwasabi When my teacher asks me how my seatmate wrote the same thing I wrote word for word, when I infact gave her my work to copy :

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@xxtega

2 years

One day we'll talk about twitter babes offering themselves over a few banger tweets

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@xxtega

3 years

Kanayo O Kanayo is the goat 🤣

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@xxtega

3 years

If its not witchcraft, why will you use my power bank to charge your own power bank???

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@xxtega

2 years

I always feel at peace when my mum prays for me.

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@xxtega

3 years

Some girls go just spam you mid pictures, thinking say she don blow your mind, and you gats hype am 😭😭😭😭😭

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@xxtega

3 years

I need to fuck someone's daughter like a ragged doll, bring out all her inner slut. Fuck. 😌

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@xxtega

3 years

Mr Eazi's "miss you bad" is the best "make up" song to come out of Nigeria.

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@xxtega

2 years

Every school used to have this girl in SS1 that faints for no reason

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@xxtega

3 years

Nicki Minaj really made women love Rap Music.

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@xxtega

8 months

@DailyLoud She looks a different person each times she posts

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@xxtega

3 years

Twitter guys will give mid girls 1,143 likes, and they'll think they're the shit & can talk about Dms. Oh brother 🙄

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@xxtega

3 years

Mouth odor is a very bad thing tbh, this babe just soft anyhow but see smell 😭. I guess Drip so lit she forgot to brush.

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@xxtega

2 years

Some women, the only challenges they're facing in life are the ones on Tiktok.

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@xxtega

3 years

I was out jogging this morning, and I heard this guy telling his babe "Run now o, so you'll stop holding your breath in pictures". 😂😂😂😂😂😂 date people that'll push you, and yab you too lmaoo.

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@xxtega

3 years

Right now, Joro has more streams than Essence on Spotify. Wizkid 1 - Big Wiz 0

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@xxtega

2 years

"Patronise me, because I'm not selling my body". Jessica better sell your body o, because what kind of moi moi is this??

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@xxtega

3 years

I know it's your Twitter, but posting your pictures almost Everyday is tiring, And you're not that fine.😑

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@xxtega

2 years

Davido Sang about Banana falling on people, not long later, he bought house in Banana Island. Olakira sang about Maserati, he bought Maserati & still signed a deal with them.

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@xxtega

2 years

Something really crazy happened in church today 😭😭 during worship, this young guy (14-16 years) suddenly fell on the floor, people around thought he was falling under the anointing, but apparently he was having a seizure

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@xxtega

3 years

Why is Ckay being the most shazamed artiste in the world not talked about enough???!!!

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@xxtega

2 years

Hello everyone, let's have a dark humour thread! 😈

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