Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle Twitter profile

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 year

obsessed w/ these paparazzi shots of me feeding my crows

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@SammyT2Fresh

@baloupdates

@amquilli

@LionElectricCo

@StiutG

@shelby_young

@zachgarza15

@SisterRoma

@AsapJerg

@LoLPeachCats

@cmoneyllmb

@KoltonHouston75

@brenotsaucy

@DunsinOyekan

@KibbyNah

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@bworley

@WildBrainStudio

@joherkhan

@eye_planets

@gator_brent

@SacBIRMINGHAM

@alfredcoffee

@we_dean

@fujochilde

Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

when the subtitles are like "speaks foreign language" i'm like...yes, girl...and what they be sayin??

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

4 years

in college i was asked to be in a sorority date auction and i told them “hmmm i probably shouldn’t get on a stage in front of a bunch of white people and be sold for money...” and then they canceled the entire event

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

i was born on my due date and i was only 5 pounds. it’s called being considerate & respecting ur mother

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

yeah

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

horrible news. been starting my days with 20-30 min of light yoga and unfortunately it really makes a difference, mentally and physically. i’m so sorry

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

started using this when ppl text me things i want to boo at

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

i would eat every single meal out of a bowl if i could plates are extremely overrated and that’s my opinion!!

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

my parents are fighting bc my mom was letting a big spider live in the kitchen window bc he’s “perfect for halloween” and my dad killed it

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

men take one good picture and coast on that shit for 5 years

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

a girl i knew in college is gonna be on the bachelor and one time after an alumni event she took a subway w/ me & a man all the way in the wrong direction bc he was trying to cheat on his wife w/ me and i was too dull to notice. so anyways i think she should win

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

what do you guys think it is

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

oh my god hi bestie

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

the animal sanctuary account i follow just made a post about how one of their elephants had a “i didn’t know i was pregnant” type delivery that was so shocking that when the baby just dropped out onto the ground the other elephants ran away screaming

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

this is the paper towel where my dad puts all of the folded chips he finds during his little snacks. he does it bc those are my mom’s favorite, so when she gets home from work there’s just a stack of them waiting

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

when u stop petting a dog & it hits u with its paw to be like “wtf? keep going”…… i just think that’s great

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

she was kinda the throat goat ngl

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

well ok then

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

having a little sister (24) is interesting

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

a bit in love with the way wealthy children describe their mothers’ mental illness & ailments in older books…. it’s always like “we mustn’t bother mother. she’s taken to bed with one of her colorstorms”

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

blessing & purifying the timeline

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

all i know is pain

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

4 months

im honoring 15yrs of veganism by giving back (arguing with other vegans about why honey is ok to eat) 1. it’s a waste product 2. literally bee vomit 3. i think the bees LIKE having jobs 4. employed simps is their whole thing.. 5. what else are we meant to do with it… 6. chill

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

9 months

me rising from my edible coma to ask the flight attendant for a ginger ale in a clear, considerate voice that conveys gratefulness and respect

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

10 months

very early into the movie my mom asked “who is that?” about one of the barbies and i said “i don’t think u know her” and then when the credits started rolling she goes “oh! dua lipa! and thought i wouldn’t know her 🙄”…. the barbie in question:

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

every few years they try to tell us what part of the boob is hottest to show

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

why not have a little crush? it's free and fun and also devastating. like seeing a rat run through a crowded subway car

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

there’s an episode of the crown that’s just queen elizabeth hanging out with all her kids and realizing not only do they all suck but she doesn’t really like them and i think they should focus on that more

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

in college one of my friends had a gap in between the side of her bed, the walls, & her dresser so sometimes when one of us was spiraling we’d go into her room and just silently get inside it? we’d be like “where’s jess? we’re gonna be late” & she’d go “oh she’s in the crevasse”

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

7 months

gonna throw up……. need me a freak like this

Up Next

@upnextdesigner

7 months

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 year

i will do for young Black girls what kristen stewart and aubrey plaza did for the deadpan, low energy, quietly chaotic white girl community

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

a little girl and her mom were checking out in front of me at trader joe’s and the girl told the cashier “my dad would like you” and when he asked why she said “he’s cute. he’s handsome like you” and now everyone within earshot has a smile and also questions

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 year

spotify making its own myers-briggs is very funny to me. my first reaction was to say “u just made that up!!” but that’s exactly what they did with the real one lmao. except with an added tinge racism

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

when non-Black ppl have dreads on tv they should blur it like they do with nudity

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 month

when i was 12 i was guarding this girl at basketball practice and she freaked out and cried bc i was “being pushy/aggressive”. so the coach was like “show me 😡” and i was soo embarrassed but i did and i’ll never forget him turning to go “ok so that’s what u ALL should be doing”

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

i’m not going to treat every elderly person like they’re wise. some of them are dumb and many of them are insane

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

a story in 3 parts

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

freezing my eggs <3

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

11 months

i just know this is gonna be thee summer of her life

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

“babies havin babies” -me seeing women i went to college with start families with their husbands

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

huge drama on my block rn. basically my crows got tired of the local squirrels always taking some of the food i leave out. so now, as an act of retaliation— the crows are going yard to yard, finding the squirrels’ stashes, & eating everything. squirrels are watching in horror

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

nannying for divorced parents is way more fun in nyc. u ride the train a lot. the mom comes home tipsy & tells u about sleeping w/ a 25yo who sells sunglasses. she holds ur face & says shit like “don’t do what i did. don’t have kids with a monster”. u get to watch the dad fuck up

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

23 days

one of her best

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

i think about this joke every day

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

every underwear drawer has its own canary in the coal mine… that one pair that if you’ve resorted to wearing them then u know u can’t put off doing laundry any longer

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

using the leftover oat milk from my cereal in my coffee

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

will they stop going to space and tell us what’s at the bottom of the ocean already

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

4 years

tbh i have never listened to joe rogan bc i am young and also hot

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

i love being an adult my two food groups are “big salad” and “bowl of rice with stuff on top”

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

11 months

i do hope st jude’s got that money another way

Jon

@BiggestttHater

11 months

what is y’all most liked tweet?

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

she was so right for this

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

about that time of year where i think buying 3 tiny gourds will heal me

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

as a depressed adult i can’t rave enough about “popcorn dinner”

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

there’s something so vulnerable about walking into someone’s bathroom and encountering their squatty potty

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

showing my family an episode of i think you should leave was the quietest 20 min of my life. my sister left the room halfway. my dad pity-scoffed twice. when it was done my mom just said “okay.”

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

i love small offbeat museums that were clearly opened bc someone had a little bit of money, time, and obsessive passion for a weird/obscure subject…. especially if it’s run out of a house or a storefront

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

“ok… you absolutely deserve a reward” - me to myself when i do the bare minimum

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

i think we should let plumbers have the same level of god complex as chefs or doctors

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

10 months

i don’t even understand how this happens. what could he possibly have done in there to come out like that

philip lewis

@Phil_Lewis_

10 months

A Boston police officer was hurt after tumbling down a children’s slide at the newly renovated playground at City Hall Plaza

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

10 months

this is like when a guy asked me who my favorite bf was on sex and the city and then a week later i used his ipad and saw that he’d been watching those specific episodes “to understand”

out of context abbott elementary

@abbottnocontext

10 months

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

7 months

i have bad spatial reasoning but is his head…. supposed to be that size

cinesthetic.

@TheCinesthetic

7 months

Leonardo DiCaprio attends Halloween party in Los Angeles.

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

“the film received a 12min standing ovation” ok ? maybe they were clapping bc it was finally over

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

my mom & sister just turned to me and said “we were just saying how great it is… how *admirable* it is, that *you* give gifts. ya know, considering your income.” …..

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

i need at least 3 beverages in my proximity at all times. they can all be cold but not all of them can be hot. if there are more than 3 then at least one of them has to be hot. this is the secret to my success, hope it helps

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

the children on junior bake off keep dropping the cakes on the ground and then screaming “5 second rule!” before frosting them and then serving floor-cake to the judges

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

the havoc this man wreaked on my early aughts girlies....unforgivable

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

8 months

asking u to send good energy to the sephora employee at the register who looked at me, taken aback, and went “your voice is so calming. i’ve just experienced a lot today and….. it’s just so soothing ” after i said “hi. yes, just this”

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

terracotta is a beautiful word… they snapped when they made that one tbh

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

4 years

if the vibes are right i will allow a spider to keep living in my home

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 year

my friend just told me that she took so many edibles last week that she thought she slept with the pizza hut delivery man and the next day her roommates had to be like “um, no… u literally didn’t even come downstairs when he got here”

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

((horizontal on the couch watching a cooking show after 3 nights of having cereal for dinner)) i can’t believe he’d cook the lamb like that

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

6 months

what kills me about long haired dachshunds is that u can tell they want to be taken seriously

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

who’s giving us memes like him? nobody. a league of his own

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

i like that weed gets called the devil’s lettuce… it makes me think he’s in a community garden or something

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

8 months

there was like a 6 month stretch of my childhood where waiters kept accidentally dropping things on me and they’d always apologize by giving me like $100 gift cards and at a certain point i started wondering if i was matilda-ing the wait staff into getting free dinners

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

4 years

i do hope they still gave money to that children’s hospital though...

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

i hate when a movie can’t decide how loud it wants to be

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

4 years

remembering when i was v high on percocet (from a surgery) and forced my father to follow me around our neighborhood so i could, “make a tv show”

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

they got rid of a ton of babies in the bible so idk what those ppl are using as their source material for this

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

8 months

i wanna eat these like the lunchables ham

letícia

@yxakirves

8 months

thinking about the pearlescent pink poker chips in marie antoinette (2006)

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

need to be wined* and dined** *tucked into a blanket on an edible **have someone explain a bizarre historical event to me

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 year

i do not understand his mind

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

9 months

leave him alone wtf

MachinePix

@MachinePix

9 months

DeepMind training bipedal robots to play soccer using deep reinforcement learning.

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

why do people think california has higher standards? 90% of hot LA ppl are entertainment-adjacent. nyc is one of the only cities where you can see a hot person doing any job imaginable

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

5 months

nobody commits harder than a dad who lingers at the entrance to the family room pretending he’s uninterested in the show ur watching on tv

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

sometimes u walk through the toddler section of target and see an outfit you’d like to wear and that’s just what kind of day it is

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 year

72yo neighbor bestie was pulling out of the parking garage as i was pulling in. waved at her and she looked confused. after a moment, she smiled and pulled up beside me. she laughed and said “sorry. i can’t see very well!” lmao now girl….

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

7 days

am i crazy or did that lady in cvs kinda do sumn with her lil canon digital camera…..

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

7 months

i’ve seen people saying “well if you give THEM their land back then what’s next?? are you gonna say that _______ (indigenous group) should get their land back too?!” and like…. lmao yessss girl that’s the whole point, i am pro-slippery slope

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

i love top chef lmao

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

3 years

leggo

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 year

by age 28 u should have at least one senior citizen friend who’s not related to u

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

6 months

the whale looks so sad that she can’t take a joke and babe i get it

Tandalf the Grey🧙🏼‍♀️

@TanaIsBananas

6 months

Omg why would it do that 😭😭

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

last min shopping before going home

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 month

as a little Black girl i never understood why chutney didn’t just say she wore a shower cap

Ranch Devereaux

@theJacko

1 month

It’ll always be this for me, not only for Elle realizing she got her (especially with her little snappy shoulder shimmy confidence walk), but how Chutney realizes she’s caught, and then everyone else - especially the judge’s - OMG

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

men are relatable in the sense that when they find a pair of pants that work they will wear them until they disintegrate off their body

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

6 months

chic normals

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

7 months

i still haven’t forgotten “allyship fatigue” btw

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

2 years

i’m so sorry but this is one of the funniest things i’ve seen in a min

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Sydney Battle

@SydneyBattle

1 year

i actually think that if, while on an edible, i saw these two guys have a convo i would astral project or something. does that make sense? like, my mind would unravel…… no notes

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