sab 🇰🇪 @Sab__G Twitter profile

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Ati because the chick from Runda fell in love with a guy from Githurai its 'Morio and Juliet' 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

7 missed calls from my dad and when I call him back he says he wanted to inform me that he brought me 3 pineapples and a watermelon from Busia 😭😭😭😭😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

5 years

So I went to pick some stuff from my friend's house, and....

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

To our husbands tukitoka 'Girls trip':

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

11 months

I've seen a wedding invitation. In capital letters, 'NO CHILDREN' Marriage ceremony: 5pm Reception: 5.20pm to 7am 😂😂💀💀💀 That's the kind of wedding I will gladly attend.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

😂😂😂😂 FFS!

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Is this not romance? 😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Me to my kidnapper: "Ebu ita uyo jamaa wa miwa"

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

Pombe inaeza toa baridi, but duvet haiezi kulewesha

Munjiru wa mbari ya Karanja

@wakariowa

4 years

Decisions decisions, ninue duvet ama ni kunywe Pombe?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Speaking against violence towards women is not feminism, it's what a normal human being does.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Bro!!!! 😭😭

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Hiyo CV ya 91 pages ilikuwa Supa Strikas zimeshikana 🤦🏾‍♀️

NTV Kenya

@ntvkenya

3 years

There's more Oxygen outside that's going to help fight Corona, Magoha defends 'learning under trees' move

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Ungesuggest atumie barabara gani your excellency Highway Hotshot.

Botshelo

@Botshelo2020

2 years

. @KeNHAKenya why allow Mkokoteni on Thika Superhighway?? Do we have laws in this country.?? Really?? Like seriously?? @Ma3Route

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

After boys who went to Alliance, we should note the ones who went to Maseno. Jana I said Maseno Boys and was told, 'It's MASENO SCHOOL, the only school you go to class in the Northern Hemisphere and go to sleep in the Southern Hemisphere'

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Unalipa 9k kufanya manicure alafu mtu anaiita cutex?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

5 years

My friend called to ask if I'm going to Naivasha with them this weekend, I tell him I'll let him know and I think he thought I had hang up right after. I heard him say, 'Ni kaa hii ng'ombe haina doh, pigia Njambi' 😕😕😕

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

People really take advantage of the whole 'splitting bill' thing. If I'm drinking water and others are drinking whiskies and champagne, I'm paying for my water and my water only!!!

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

10 days

Influencer amesema she bought her bag a month ago in Milan, France. MILAN??? FRANCE???? 😂😂😂 Wasee, rest.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Send to your crush: 'I know this rain is good for the environment and all, but I was hoping you could focus on ending my drought.'

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Still one of the funniest videos I've watched because I would definitely do this to my friends 😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

My delivery guy's wife has called me to tell me to stop calling her husband. She said 'Najua wewe ni uyo Malaya wa madaraka' 😕

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Throwing me a ring and saying 'Unaona Ka tutamake it?' is much better than proposing to me in Naivas 😭

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Inueni magari. Mnatupotezea wakati mkifanya zig zag Kwa bumps 😡

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Yeah wanaume hawajaisha, I'm sure unaeza pata wako mpendane pia 🥺

Evan Memba 🇰🇪

@Evanmemba

2 years

Surely aki wanaume hatujaisha hii Kenya,💔💔😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Omg, last year on this date I sent my rider to get a few things from the supermarket. When he was on his way to deliver them, his wife went into labor so I told him to just go to the hospital and keep the shopping. He's sent me a picture of his baby. He's 1 today and Kuna bash 😭

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

Anyway, let me not talk. I was asked on a date nikapelekwa wedding ya mtu, where my 'date' was the MC. 😭😭😭😭

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Msisahau kupack nguo zitaficha tattoo zenu.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

IMF fuels corruption in Kenya.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Ebu somanga gazeti. You can take the old notes to CBK. Hapo 2nd floor, there is a teller/desk thingie, kuna dustbin hapo uzitupe.

Jabez

@Jabali_Jr

3 years

I'm selling 11K anyone interested?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

1 year

Look no further! I gotchu

dennis ombachi OLY

@ombachi13

1 year

Who has any HD photos of me, it’s urgent. I need to take more photos this year 😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Someone attempted to pass through airport security with a live chicken 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

A few years ago on this date, I asked my brother to help me carry some shopping from the car to the kitchen. (Serviettes, dish soap, etc) and he said he has a back problem. 1 hour later he was carrying 2 crates of whitecap from the car to the garden with utmost urgency. ☹

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

5 months

Cheetahs wakifika India wakule spicy biryani for the first time:

Kenyans.co.ke

@Kenyans

5 months

India to Import Cheetahs From Kenya Day After Dishing Out Ksh38B Loan

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

Be rich to yourself. Always be broke to everyone else.

Malkia wa kizazi kipya 🌟

@AishaWanjiku_

4 years

Share a vital finance lesson you learnt.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

1 year

I think nimeingia Mamba Village kimakosa 😭

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

I swear ni kama Waluhya huwa na 24 hours Kwa siku but 15 of those hours wanaosha slippers.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

This guy said he was super broke. So I did shopping for him, usual household items. Then his baby mama posted all of them on IG saying 'I have the best baby daddy ever' Vile mafuta imepanda aki ya Nani! Ata nilimbuyia juice ya pick n peel 🤮🤮🤮🤮

Timoshenko

@Kianangih

2 years

What's the worst financial decision you made and regretted ever after?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Fake friends vile wanarudishiwa paper after kuanguka friendship exam.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Hamkuwangi serious 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Uzuri ya kudate 30+ Hakuna pressure ya kumbuyia PS5, juu arthritis can't allow him finya finya that pad.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

Men taking girls to 18 for dinner na bado mnashindwa mbona madem wenu wanakulwa na wanawake wenzao? 💀

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Getting married at the AG and eating wedding savings>>>>>>>

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

You see how men act infront of rich men 😂😂😂😂 Comedian karibu apige magoti. Laughing at non existent jokes. Eish.

K24 TV

@K24Tv

3 years

Jimmy Wanjigi breaks bank, gifts comedian Eric Omondi new posh car

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Husband and wife videos always tend to be embarrassing. Except the Lucy and Kibaki one. That one was ok

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

If someone is in your DMs, why don't you just tell them you're not interested IN THE DMs. What's the point of bringing it to the TL?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

1 year

I found water in my mother's room and drank all of it. (Hii joto) She came back to the room and asked 'Maji takatifu yameenda wapi?' Guys, I drank my mother's Holy Water 💀💀😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

To get white clothes white again, soak them for 8 hours in a basin filled with water mixed with baking soda. You could also add detergent or lemon juice to the water, if you prefer, then soak the clothes for 1-2 hours. Because this is sad to look at.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Constantly telling me "Pesa ya wizi" then you DM me kuniulizia mchango? Sina

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

'We ingia the club us guys were already drinking Hennessy'

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Hii ni debate ama ni mchongwano?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

There is a guy who sells watches on Uhuru Highway. He is selling an original Rolex for Ksh 350k He keeps it in his pocket and it's not among the ones on display. Only removes it on request. I saw it. I touched it. It's real. 😐

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

If this manifestation thing works: I'm heavily manifesting health to all the kids who have no choice but to attend school during this pandemic. ❤️

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

6 months

Nikienda date nipate hakuna entrance fee:

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Yes, veeerryy easily. In fact I had this problem a while back. Just take it to Sarit center, next to the entrance for Hotpoint. There's a place where you dispose off electronics. Dispose your TV, enter Hotpoint and buy a new TV.

Pioche

@PiocheBrio

2 years

Can this be fixed?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Men should just date men. Seems that's where their happiness is

Omwamba 🇰🇪

@omwambaKE

2 years

To ladies, I don't think there's any guy who finds long nails attractive

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Mtu anaambiwa 'Don't drag peoples mothers into your arguments' Anajibu 'Kaambie mamako' 😂😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

When the beginning of the insha is unfamiliar, then you remember you have that 'Ghafla bin vu' gem.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

Jana at Blankets I was walking behind a dude and a girl, then it started raining. She put her hands over her head as a shelter and the guys was like 'Mbona unafunika wig na ni kofia tayari? Nipee Nivae nijikinge' 😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

6 months

Mtu akijaribu kuniingiza box:

Billy The GOAT

@CrazyNairobian

6 months

It will now cost you KSh 50,000 to get married at the Attorney General office. Previously it would only cost you KSh 5,000. Getting married is now a scam in Kenya.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

If we are dating, I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your life, your ambitions because my priority right now is me and mine. Finding happiness, stability, and security alone is crucial in finding it together.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Ladies, listen. This period between 28th dec and 3rd Jan is very dangerous. Unaeza rudi job mkiwa wawili na hujui.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Very ok. You're allowed to hate on your sibling, but when someone else tries you beat them.

Odd

@mwetich__

2 years

Kenyans hate Kenya until an outsider talks shit about Kenya 😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

5 months

Chipo Mwitu🧡

@juicykairetu

5 months

Huwa mnaplay role gani kwa family gatherings.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

When someone gives you the price of the product they are selling, stop saying, "I can get it from _____ at a cheaper price" Just go where you can afford, wacha kusumbuana.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

I suffer from severe phonecall anxiety. So if I wasn't expecting your call, or you don't text before you call, 100% chance I will NOT answer.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Adekunle revellers, remember ukilemewa sana, you can leave your car at racecourse. We still need you around. Your vehicle may not be around when you return for it, but at least you will be around to look for it ❤️

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

Got into a minor accident with this chick who was riding a bike. She scratched my car and can't pay for damage so I'm taking her bike.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

'Deadbeat' on Radio Jambo has some ridiculous characters. This guy anaulizwa mbona hashughulikii mtoto, anajibu 'Si sai watoto wako holiday' 😂😂😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Kwa AG do they open during lunch break? Nikitoka ofisi at 11.30 am nitakuwa nimeolewa by 12.30pm, tufanye reception ya 1.5 hrs Art Cafe, turudi job by 2.15pm?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Imagine huko yelling 'Iss okei okei!!!' then your wig is stolen ☹️ How do you even continue the night?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

I was accepted into Manhattan School of Music. My parents thought I'm going to be a 'singer' so I was sent to study engineering instead. The girl I auditioned with now plays in the Disney Orchestra, having fun, earning handsomely, and her name is always in the credits 😭

SkepticsAnon 🇰🇪

@Dee_KM95

4 years

When i was 16 i got drafted to the Kenya National Swim team,our first competition would be in Egypt. My school refused cause i was a Form4 so i stopped Intl competitive swimming that year & eventually local too forever. Tell me some dreams you've given up to get an 'education'?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Aki when you spray Doom on mosquitoes it's like they use it as a fog machine, wanaingia stage kuperform. 😭😭😭😭 Please what finishes mosquitoes?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Sim re-registration, unapiga line, wanakupea form, you fill in the form, then an employee inputs it Kwa comp 😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

Kumefunguliwa but kaeni home if you don't have to go outside. Wear your mask, wash your hands, sanitize and don't wink at pilots.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Hopefully in 2022 when the Uber driver asks you where you're going, just tell them and stop being little pieces of shits.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

5 years

Wameeka speed bumps Kwa ugali ndio usosi polepole?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Surely 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Watu wa kueka tint ya sijui Aina gani, then they have to cut a kacircle ndio waone side mirrors. They should be banned from the roads.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

The only way you can protect yourself from your own children is by making sure they don't know what Kinder Joy is. Because Kinder Joy will make you broke 😭😭😭😭😭

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Not everyone's parents are good to them as yours are good to you. There are heavily toxic parents and we have to be more sensitive to others when they say they do not like their parents.

Kerry 🇰🇪

@kerubo_hillary

2 years

As an adult, what is the hardest truth you've learned?

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

5 years

When walking in town with my dad, he holds my hand. It's a habit from when I was little and will probably never stop. Last year our picture was posted on a Nairobi blog saying 'Sugar daddies and sponsors don't hide their clandes anymore' 😕

Blaze Officiel

@B3laze

5 years

O jewa ke eng ? [Nairobi version]

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

5 years

Laughing in class then the teacher says 'Share the joke with the class so that we all laugh'

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

Sad. I cry everyday. The first class flight attendants give me special treatment because I'm just miserable. The big house I live in is just too big, it makes me feel small. Let me not get started on the days I have to fill gas in my big ass cars. Heh. Ni kunoma. But I survive.

RealTalkWithMJ

@ItsMJ254

4 years

@Sab__G But you still haven't answered the query. How do you feel knowing your dad is a thief and that he stole from Kenyans? Forget about @mwabilimwagodi . Focus.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

The people with degrees and masters and pHds are the ones who tell others there's no need for Uni education. Kujuana is good, but wale mnajuana nao ndio wako na wivu zaidi and they wouldn't want you to be as successful as them, let alone more successful. Someni.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

2 years

Unakula fruit salad, unauma maembe, unapata ni paw paw 😡😡🤬🤬 JUBILEE OUT!

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

4 years

I'll never forget I created a nice KOT 5 aside girls team for the first tournament, and on our practice day all the girls showed up. But they all had wine in their water bottles 😩😩😩😩 I went back home.

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sab 🇰🇪

@Sab__G

3 years

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂