Cant believe I’m listening to a minister on
@BBCr4today
telling us there was a party at Downing St when we were all locked down but that all guidance was followed. Apart from the guidance that says ‘DON’T HAVE A PARTY’. Utter swines.
There are millions of people wearing a mask when they have to, who hate doing so, in order to collectively reassure those more vulnerable than themselves that things are ok and we’re all trying to get through to something approaching normality again. And then there’s this knobend
"Tell me what this evidence is?"
#KayBurley
@OliverDowden
insists there is "academic evidence" to show there is "quite a high risk associated with hospitality settings", amid reports some business leaders are mounting a legal challenge over restrictions.
The boss
@MarkFrancois12
taking a moment to compose himself after realising
@BBCNews
has smudged out his paintballing and patio -building diplomas on the zoom
I am convinced that the illusive genius behind
@mikegove12
and his previous tiny, shouty, catering-corps Brexiteer persona has HIJACKED
@andreajenkyns
account and is laying it/her on us while thinking to themselves ‘I might have taken it too far this time’
#parodynotaparody
Is there anything more illustrative of British politics in 2020 than a
@Conservatives
MP tweeting like an anon football account by accusing
@mrjamesob
of being 'anti-British' whilst spelling 'British' incorrectly?
I've wheelchairs more qualified to be an MP than
@andreajenkyns
"We're stuffed" - Brixham fish merchant Ian Perkes says he's unable to export his fish to France now the new post-Brexit rules and regulation have come into force.
This this this. Where are the Brexit economists I want to hear their responses?! 59% down to three enormous trading partners- our cheese, meat, fruit etc producers must be peering gloomily into the future and seeing...what?
The drop in food and drink exports to EU markets alone (first half of 2021 on first half of 2019) is an astounding £2 bn - with @ 50% falls to Germany,Spain and Italy dwarfing any gains from all the much vaunted trade deals. A collusive silence on a first order trade crisis.
***BREAKING***
Its episode four of The Tories! The soap opera about drifters, grifters and Michael Gove's eating habits.
This week: Jacob drives the gang to Kent. Liz goes to life-coaching.
My phone lost connection underground while I was watching this clip of Johnson waffling on, and the fact that it looks like he’s recovering from having fallen face-first on a pointy bit of Stick-A-brix is rather pleasing
Just gets better every day. To have nailed one awful politician and to then segue seamlessly into more caustic but subtler satire of another is...extraordinary
Young, Oakeshott, Grimes, Farage and the rest; that the prudent economy of their minds was so vulnerable to ambiguity, their very identity rose and fell on the crests of imaginary waves. So I placed them gently down, drew breath, and yelled: 'NOBODY CARES APART FROM YOU'
1727
What is the point of this lockdown?
This is the tube today at 16:35..Either we have to all stay away from each other for the health of the nation, or we don’t??!! WHAT ARE WE MEANT TO BE DOING? Because at the moment I’m pretty sure it’s not this, masks or no masks.
#denmark
😷😭
Absolutely losing it at the number of people on here saying ‘sorry folks I’m far too busy cooking/driving/doing Xmas properly to be on here so see you xx’ WHEN WE ALL KNOW THEY’LL BE FLAT OUT ON THE BED SCANNING THROUGH ALL THE STUFF ASAP
Dear fellow musicians, performers, technicians etc. Here’s a thread about how our lives are going to change re touring/working in the EU in 50 days time. Think of it as a kind of Bad News Advent calendar. Here goes 1/
I swear this dude vs.
@MarkFrancois12
would be an election to end all elections. North vs South, BIG vs. tiny, Napoleonic musket vs. JT Outcast paintball gun etc etc
No great surprise that most of the half-decent Tories have scarpered as one of their party bigwigs disturbs the eternal rest of those killed in Grenfell Tower and their media team doctor a tv clip to completely and maliciously mislead the public. Well done! Fun times for us all..
Would love to have a share in a horse with
@NicolRacing
- cantering on the Bamburgh beach, fast work
@hazelriggracing
and seems like a proper good lad. And he can obviously train.
Perfectly acceptable to go to bed tonight making ‘brrrr’ noises like some old ham playing King John in a cheap 1947 film about King John
#brrrr
#shivers
This is the reality of taking back control. Giving control of one of our most impressive sectors to the beast of mammon that is the USA. Bloody Cummings
1/5 Less than a week into US-UK trade talks and Drowning Street (not a typo) is already suggesting that food could be imported into the UK that it is illegal to produce in the UK.
Do you know WHY its illegal to produce "chlorinated chicken" here? It's to do with cleaning...
3 massive engines been running for 15 mins for A.C. as chauffeurs wait. Range Rover Man is reading the Daily Mail. The agonising irony of running an engine to keep cool in a global-warming
#heatwave
will be a thing of wonder to future generations, and they will hate us for it.
This is mad. He’s like a ranting fascist with his sweaty top lip, audience of old white people and promises to get rid of ‘overpaid pen-pushers in Whitehall’- from the man driven around in a souped-up smoke glass Range Rover with heavies- all paid for by?????
Everything
@philmcentee1
tweeted about his horse that won at Chelmsford tonight was SUPERB. Showed his horse off messing about in a field after winning earlier in the week- then covered in mud in a ‘spa’! All along exuding strong confidence in tonight’s run- justified & WD him 🎩
@faisalislam
One of them will surely be starring soon in a Scandi-Noir style TV series about a lone Low Countries customs officer holding the dyke wall against the never-ending tide of post-Brexit British truckers(and their ham sandwiches)..
@RobGMacfarlane
This wonderful ash in the Allen Valley in Northumberland must qualify? Known as The Sacred Tree, it has an extraordinary bark phoenix and goblin’s face in it’s hollow, it protects those that fall, and is an excellent cider shelter in inclement weather. And a great sledging start.
What’s that you say? A Festive stroll around one of Mayfair’s most enchanting enclaves before a meal at the world-renowned Kitty Fisher’s? How great. SORT THIS OUT PLEASE BEFORE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR THEIR STREETS GO MAD
@CityWestminster
@MayorofLondon
@RoryStewartUK
@SlightlyLacking
@RoryStewartUK
Very true, and it’s all part of the same thing- the authorities not caring and watching for the small things, which then grow into much bigger problems. If you allow the streets to descend to this level, people will eventually stop coming to London and we will all be diminished
@rebelraising
@AdamRamsay
Deloitte running a failing Coronavirus testing centre out of Chessington World of Adventures is peak 2020 Tory party. Low-rent middle management in a crisis 😬
Finding it tough balancing my love of racing with my complete loathing of regressive regimes such as those ruled by the Maktoums, Saudis etc.
@RichardHoiles
having to tee up
@RacingTV
coverage of the Saudi cup knowing they behead teenagers, means we are all complicit. It stinks.
Cannot stop thinking about this. I know we’re all at work, sorry. But it’s both hilarious and amazingly sad. Someone actually seems to have been driven so mad by Brexit and Twitter and the election that they are calling out a (admittedly brilliant)parody account FOR A FIGHT!!
@holland_tom
Like the story of Cora Pearl, who gave a dinner party where one of her guests broke a crystal wine glass. She promptly went round the table breaking all the others so he wasn’t embarrassed 🍷
@CoraPearlCG
I wrote a thing about what happened a month or so ago, from the point of view of a hackneyed old restaurant bloke. With apologies to everyone who wore a mask then x
Very proud of
@katierazz
and her Newsnight gang for their covid/care homes film’s BAFTA nomination- proper journalism just when we all most need it. Big up the BBC.
Jacob Rees Mogg being described as looking like ‘a haunted pencil’ is one of the best things I’ve read on Twitter recently. And I’ve read A LOT of Twitter in the last 10 days
@mikegove12
Yes! Was thinking of this
@PrivateEyeNews
article when the Telegraph thing popped up yesterday. Another example of No 10 taking us all for fools. Why would anyone be excited about him taking charge of anything? I wouldn’t trust him with laying the bloody table, let alone
#Brexit
If you’re the type to glue yourself to a fence to get us thinking about
#ClimateChange
surely you’ve got it in you to stop buying plastic water bottles? Every little helps lads (ps worst remake of The Good Life ever)
Both
@kevinblake2011
and
@helynsar
agreed three weeks ago that 14/12/10-1
#MagnaGrecia
was a bet. Won the 2000 Guineas today at 11-2. That’s why
@FinalFurlongPod
is the best in the business. It’s very funny, teaches you a thing or 2 about horses and...proper tipping- thanks lads.
How many libraries & youth clubs could have been kept going with the £4.3 Billion we have spent on
#HS2
before construction has even started? They are now saying an extra £43 billion needed to make the projected £80 billion cost worthwhile. A national disgrace. Austerity my arse!
Goveller’s Travels
Thursday 5th November
As two white men in their seventies crossed catheters in a duel to the death of democracy, Brondingnag held its collective breath to learn who their new chlorinated poultry supplier would be. But with many of the chickens counted before
I’m really enjoying
@T_J_Carroll
‘s yomp around Scotland. This platform is brilliant for boundless enthusiasts, be it of good grub, the grape, the grain, the black stuff- anything really- just a great antidote to the morons. More power to your busy elbow Tim! 🏴🥃
This is now just getting WEIRD. The fucking Treasury is spinning cheap booze as a bonus benefit of no-deal Brexit in ads paid for by the taxpayer with no deal having been ruled out by parliament, which in turn has been shut down by the queen on illegal advice of her PM
Duty-free shopping with the EU is coming back, if we leave without a deal.
People travelling to EU countries will be able to buy beer, spirits, wine and tobacco without duty being applied in the UK.
🍺🍷Read more👇
She voted against importing US chlorinated chicken, so has been axed from the intelligence committee for “disloyalty”.
That’s how desperate
@BorisJohnson
is to import chlorinated chicken, hormone-injected beef, etc for Trump.
Still waiting for the BBC to properly acknowledge yesterday’s ruling against the third most important figure in this pandemic and his contracts fiasco?? Not even on the website main news pages as far as I can see? I live and breath the BBC but this is appalling PR/public service
Christ this is so boring. Please can Labour just sort themselves out and get Jess Phillips in charge, half the country will vote for her, thrashing Boris and rendering the Lib Dems pointless for the time being- and nearly Brexiting will be remembered as our biggest cock up ever.
That’s almost a million people that won’t be voting Tory. Lots of them might not have anyway but surely they’ll be A TOUCH JITTERY in Tory HQ tonight eh lads?!
What is amazing about this thread is how many people vow to stop drinking Yorkshire Tea because of their support for BLM. And how many racists masquerade as people angered by the movement being a ‘far-left’ thing. What happens in America always ends up here. Bollocks to them all.
Can anyone truthfully answer this: if we sign up to this app, how can we be sure that we are not also then a notch on Cummings’ tech bedpost, becoming somehow linked to his party machine? I won’t sign up until I know I can’t be manipulated afterwards
@GeorgeFreemanMP
@Conservatives
@CEN_HQ
Thing is George- there’s a load of people in the middle who’ve had enough of the lot you chose.. So a bit of re-nationalisation might go down ok, given it would mean a change..The rubbish getting picked up by people working for the people would also be a wonderful thing. Ed is ok
@woolfenden_s
@JossAgnew
My wife is looking at me a funny way whenever 'Sunday' comes up in conversation, in case I'm planning something that would STOP IT HAPPENING
@indiaknight
So I don’t feel sorry for him, but I also see the modern hell that is the Telegraph breaking this as ‘the sewage starts lapping at Johnson’s feet’ (as
@sturdyAlex
so memorably described it)
The co-ordinated sycophancy from the Cabinet regarding our dear leader is outrageously brazen. How thick do they think we are, and why don’t they care how thick they show themselves to be? Obviously every single one of them would knife BJ in the back- Becoming more and more culty
Our friend Geoff(red scarf, on the pillar) loved
@CheltenhamRaces
like he loved dance, tennis, people, life etc etc.. he died in September but it wouldn’t be
#Cheltenham
without him so we stuck him up opposite the finish line 🕺🏿📍
@StatisticSingh
@mrjamesob
Also, did no one spot that those people in the photo are very, er, white? Either spotted it & okayed it, in which case extraordinarily thick and(racist)or just extra thick for not spotting it. Wowsers
I can’t wait until we’re shot of this shower of a government, this despicable abomination of a ruling class; that joyous time when they’re all languishing in ignominious early retirement. Or jail. Have strength and patience: they are truly awful.
What could be more sweet than waking up on a drenched June morning to a ravaged land where 50k are dead, kids go hungry and unschooled, businesses are ruined and we have to advertise the even greater threat of WHAT WE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO. ‘Gibberish maniacs’ indeed.
Central London 2018. Show me another capital city of a rich country where this has been allowed to happen to its inhabitants and to its vibe? Imagine going to Paris and finding 4 homeless people living outside a pizza restaurant on the Rue De Rivoli.. who’s the political saviour?
These bastards. How else do desperate people get here? Why are we being so supine in response to not being welcoming, free, enchanting Britain anymore?
Asylum seekers will be removed if they enter the UK illegally. So how on earth does Patel and the Government want refugees fleeing for their lives to enter the country? Oh – they don't. Vile and amoral.
Top photo shows the locked basketball cage at the end of my London street. Bottom photo shows adults enjoying their sport. Same pandemic rules. I will never forgive this Government for allowing the bottom photo but locking out the kids in the top. Just blatantly bad for the UK 🇬🇧
In which the musings over coffee turn to why
@JohnWathenBerry
and owner
@CollingsBerry
would choose Hexham as the perfect debut track for newcomer Dear Alix? Long journey too. Strike rate of over 30% in bumpers for one of Newmarket’s finest...