Narcissists, sociopaths, and their enablers never want to discuss what angered you - they prefer focusing on your reaction to divert attention from their actions.
What Is Triangulation?
Triangulation is when a toxic or manipulative person, often a person with strong narcissistic traits, brings a third person into situation in order to remain in control.
Narcissists can reach a really weird point. When you bring up certain issues, they belittle/ignore you. However, later on, they incorporate those same concerns into their conversations or even accuse you of the very things you initially pointed out.
Many people don't realize that narcissistic abuse leaves you with a sense of deep betrayal, as the people you trusted/loved turned out to be somebody else entirely. It's a deep form of emotional trauma that takes a hell of a long time to process.
Remember, narcissists & psychopaths, engage in testing behaviour to assess the boundaries of those around them. They test limits to see what they can get away with and how much control they can wield over people.
Narcissists engage in interrogative behaviour rather than genuine conversation. They use conversation as a means of gaining information/control over others, rather than as a way to connect and build relationships.
Many non-psychologists a.k.a regular people, donโt fully grasp that even a lot of psychologists, despite their training in psychology, find it challenging to fully grasp narcissistic abuse.
Narcissists steal your words, your life stories, your interests, your style, and even your identity and personality. A researcher exposes the manipulation tactics of malignant โidentity theftโ and why it should never be ignored.
Due to their lack of self-awareness, inability to self-reflect, and their high tendency to project, many narcissists do not know they are narcissistic.
Secondary abuse is a term used to describe the additional harm and trauma that results from the failure of others to acknowledge or address abuse. In the case of narcissistic or psychopathic abuse, secondary abuse occurs when friends, family members, or professionals...
When you gain a deep understanding of narcissists and sociopaths, you come to realise how boring they are. There are no deep, meaningful conversations, and no emotional connection. Just plain boring people. They know words but not the music.
Narcissists/sociopaths are infamous for disguising their infliction of pain as humour.
Their humour is mockery, humiliation, criticism, sarcasm passive aggressive, (in small doses we all do it) but there's are patterns.
Pathological Narcissists have a fragile sense of self-esteem and rely heavily on external validation to maintain their self-image. When they feel rejected or perceive that someone has caught on to their manipulative tactics it threatens their carefully constructed facade of โ->
@DrGJackBrown
Trump is like a slot machine people become addicted chasing their losses. He gives them a little payout to keep them in the game. Trauma bond
For pathological narcissists, conversations are often approached as competitions rather than opportunities for understanding or reaching mutual agreements.
Enablers of narcissistic psychopaths prioritize allegiance over truth. Their commitment is to the leader/cause they support, and this loyalty can lead them to overlook/ignore inconvenient truths in favor of maintaining their alliance.
Some are blind bc they share same traits
Narcissists intentionally twist your words to create a situation where they try to force you to defend yourself, which is emotionally exhausting and part of their manipulation tactics to submit, gain narcissistic supply and to maintain dominance in the situation.
Narcissists attempt to micromanage aspects of your life as a means of asserting control /dominance. By dictating your actions, interactions, and even your self-expression, they aim to create a dependency on them. 1/2
A common occurrence with narcissists and sociopaths is that they will feign friendship and concern for you while simultaneously causing harm and destruction.
When narcissists are held accountable/boundaries are placed on them, theyโll usually react with resistance, defiance, manipulation or even aggression.
In relationships with narcissistic abuse, the advice to "forgive and forget" can be misleading and harmful. In my experience, I forgave and forgot numerous times... Unaware, they interpret forgiveness and forgetfulness as a green light to escalate their abusive behaviour.
Narcissists don't just copy personas, they also replicate past events, stories or imitate situations to manipulate, control and maintain a false image.
It's horrible to realise that so many people, myself included, spent years or even decades completely unaware that they were trapped in a narcissistic/psychopathic relationship - whether it be with a parent, partner, sibling, employer/employee, friend or family.
Narcissists often engage in a manipulative tactic known as "baiting" to provoke a reaction from others & gain control over a situation or person. Baiting involves saying or doing something provocative, silly, offensive, or
Certain individuals lack empathy, and your reasoning and logic are not going to make them suddenly develop it. Unfortunately, there are more of them than you might think.
@atrupar
Narcissists walk-off. They traumatize your important events. Whether youโre graduating, receiving a medal having a party, or getting married, they need to make it all about them. Sabotage
Narcissists often throw out breadcrumbs, offering small and calculated gestures or bits of attention to keep people engaged while maintaining control in the relationship.
Those who have endured the agonising pain and suffering of narcissistic abuse can see it with piercing clarity. The injustice of it all is one of the hardest things a human being has to live with.
Pathological narcissists resort to personal attacks and gaslighting when confronted with the truth, using tactics such as accusing you of being absurd, sick, or belonging in a mental hospital. Their responses can become vicious in an attempt to undermine your credibility.
Reacting to a psychopath can make you appear like a psychopath. When you're trying to defeat a monster, it's very easy to turn into a monster. They have patterns and very subtle behaviors, not just because you donโt like a person.
It's completely understandable to feel hesitant about discussing narcissistic abuse, as it can indeed sound bizarre and difficult to comprehend for those who haven't experienced it or are unfamiliar with the dynamics of manipulative relationships.
When narcissists find it difficult to manipulate you, they usually intensify their efforts, resort to more aggressive tricks, or become frustrated. Your resistance to manipulation disrupts their usual tactics. So, well done, you're winning.
For psychopaths and pathological narcissists, being cruel and manipulative isn't performative โit's part of who they are. The rest is false charm, but deep down, their actions are driven by self-interest and a lack of empathy for others.
When you display indifference towards narcissists, it disrupts their need for attention/control. In response, they may accuse you of being the narcissist.
Regardless of how patient ppl believe they are, the experience of psychopathic oppression and mental torture can lead someone to lose their composure, a phenomenon known as โreactive abuse.โ
It got me in trouble a lot โฆ thatโs because i didnโt know & couldnโt explain it.
When a pathological narcissist is confronted with a word that accurately describes their behaviour, they may turn it around and claim that the same thing is being done to them. 1/
Sleep deprivation is a particularly sinister and deceptive abuse tactic because sleep is vital to our survival, just like food and water.
Narcissistic abuse.
Narcissistic psychopaths may resort to name-calling, labelling you as unstable/crazy etc, especially when they sense that you see through their manipulations and understand their true nature.
They will undermine your credibility to deflect attention away from their own behaviour
Itโs common for people who have grown up in narcissistic family dynamics to take years, or even decades, to identify and understand the dynamics at play.
The narratives of those victimized by narcissists/psychopaths sound so bizarre and wild that people have dismissed them as crazy or making things up. In reality, this reflects the extent of the disordered behaviour exhibited by narc/paths.
If you're dealing with a narc/path person, it's best not to give them a heads up before taking action, such as leaving, taking legal action or canceling an agreement. Theyโll likely use the info against you/ manipulate the situation to their advantageโฆ.1/2
1/ People don't believe that reactive abuse is very real when they NPs psychologically abuse you so hard that you DGAF and react with whatever. They play the victim and convince others that the real victim is crazy, unstable, abusive, violent, etc.
From my perspective, I don't want to be labeled as a victim. Instead, all I ever wanted was acknowledgment and validation for my experiences and a chance to be heard and understood.
When a narc/path feels you won't heed their words directly, they resort to abuse by proxy. They employ intermediariesโsiblings, parents, grandparents, or anyone to convey their message, even adding incentives for those delivering their words.
A narcissist is very sensitive to shame, which is perceived as humiliationโa blow to the ego (sense of self) and/or a threat to whats seen as an important status compared to others. This sensitivity = reason why they lash out at those who shame or appear to shame in any way. 1/
I see some people take tweets like mine and show them to a narcissist, hoping the narcissist will see the errors of their ways. It doesn't work - all they do is recreate reality to protect their false selves. No need to believe me, though - ask others who've had the misfortune.
Notice how all these narcissistic psychopathic leaders portray themselves as saviors, using the narrative of saving others to bolster their power and dominance.
Narcissists will fight tooth and nail to protect their false selves. That image is their everything. Never underestimate the manipulation, deception and how dirty & desperate they can become to protect it.
1/ One of the biggest heartbreaks in the world is when an narc/path lies and manipulations are believed and the victim is blamed. It happens more than you think.
Approx 20 years ago, my uncle cautioned me about certain family
members who he believed were not as they appeared. He mostly kept away from them, he was labelled as "crazy," and they looked down on him because he didn't have a lot. We were close and he taught me a lot...
Narcissists are inexhaustibly conflict-driven and struggle to find peace, the chaos and drama fuels them with narcissistic supply. You may notice the usual underdeveloped personalities, which frequently deflect discussions by focusing on different topics or creating distractions.
Describing the horror of being abused by a narcissist/sociopath is a daunting task, words simply can't convey the depth of the misery that comes with it. It's an experience that must be endured to truly comprehend how awful it is.
Narc/paths use triangulation as a manipulative strategy, both on a micro and macro scale.
In personal relationships, a n/p creates a triangle by involving a third person, to create jealousy, competition etc to gain control.1/
Pathological narcissists have extreme jealousy. When attention is directed elsewhere, they react by lashing out, creating drama, or employing various tactics to regain the spotlight. They're not fussy, just desperate.
@Beany_1
@BorisJohnson
@lewis_goodall
Narcissism is manifested in communication patterns that include habitual non-listening. Pathological Narcissists tend to do lots of talking and very little listening. The narcissist knows best, after all, so why bother listening to what others have to say?
Narcissists pretend well.ย They often appear to be charming and considerate but itโs the covert put-downs and subtle digs that often go unnoticed by many.
Some folks think narcissism /psychopathy are pretty rare - small % and they don't impact them. But, hold on a sec, think about it. What's a small percentage of a big number like 65 million, 350 million, or even 8 billion? That small percentage adds up & impact becomes substantial
The psychological impact of narcissists/psychopaths' secondary abuse surpasses the initial harm. Every survivor has felt this. It's the ppl aware of the situation/those who join in, who could stop the abuse but opt for inaction.
Ppl who have not been through psychopathic abuse will never understandโฆ.
Even for some ppl who have been through it or are going through it, will not understand.
That's how complex it is.
In the mind of the psychopath, successfully conning, using and abusing others repeatedly is seen as a testament to their perceived superiority and invincibility.
What Is Narcissistic Supply?
Narcissistic supply is a form of psychological addiction where the narcissist requiresโand even demandsโlimitless special treatment, admiration, importance, or validation to feed their sense of entitlement and self-centeredness. 1/
Experiencing narc/path abuse, then doing all the hard work to understand it and thinking, 'Now I can explain it.' Yes! Then comes the realization that just b/c you can understand it doesn't mean others will ever get it.
If you grew up in a family with a narcissistic or psychopathic parent, did you become hyper-alert
to nonverbal cues and body language in order to navigate thru the shit and chaotic environment you were living in?