functional moron @MoronFunctional Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

functional moron

2 years

people don’t even realize that the reason they love disney world so much is that it’s a walkable community with a robust system of public transit and that it’s the only place where you can fuck a minion

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Last Seen Profiles

@ST1LLM0NSTER

@AAneniya

@GordanoRFC

@tetemusic

@susuharai

@FTWLegacy

@dazedwebbings

@kaysfeets

@Housing_WS

@jjongsarchive

@FaithBruyning

@pam_cepeda

@SeaGullFootball

@ishaanbhadouria

@PitViperSports

@RoofGanz

@thenicknn

@DasSaoi

@CirnoFumofumo

@nctjwi

@orikeren1

@anjono9422

@Recruiting_Szn

@screamwxrks_

@GayPornBareback

@sarameikasai

@financie_jp

@SolProduced

@MANSAG_uk

@Zemenides

@_ishikawamio_

@studybuddhism

@shimi43shimi

@KraigNatal91104

@bogsideartists

@laugh_69

functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

someone’s gotta tell this kid about the store

Maybe: Jacoby

@Getthebagcoach

5 months

Son made homemade paper (yes homemade) so he could make a journal for his girlfriend on all the dates they went on the past yr and gave it to her for Christmas….

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

what if jaden mcdaniels randomly went for like 25 lol

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

25 days

not many players of his caliber would stick around the bullshit he has and rep the timberwolves the way that he does. one of one.

Timberwolves Clips

@WolvesClips

3 years

“I’ve been through everything. Death of a head coach… numerous front offices… I didn’t have a chance to build any true relationships with anybody cause there’s always instability… deframed by teammates, been a scapegoat for people… Shit hasn’t been easy.” -Karl-Anthony Towns

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

22 days

lol the nba really thought the wolves were gonna lose in the first round and now they’re panicking realizing they should’ve been hyping ant this whole year

NBA

@NBA

22 days

Anthony Edwards is an absolute GEM 💎 Listen to his best mic'd up moments from the past few years! 🔊 MIN/DEN tips Saturday on TNT in Game 1 of the West Semis 🍿

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

18 days

imagine you’re a ball handler and NAW is ruining your life so you call for a screen and then you get switched onto by….jaden mcdaniels. hell.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 years

@emeriticus screaming and crying and throwing up because some woman played a flute you didn’t know existed is actually very masculine alpha behavior

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

25 days

Ant got to come into the league and have the best player on the team treat him with kindness, hype him up, support his growth and never had an issue with him becoming a star. something KAT never got but decided to give to someone else anyway.

functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

i really do think that jimmy butler was a pretty shitty older mentor to a young rising start and it’s really cool that KAT decided to be a better one. don’t know how much that stuff matters when the players are this good but i like to think it does

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 years

@jzux i think syrup makes pancakes worse

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

@JenkemSuperfan @allahliker :(

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

good. 9PM is the suns natural enemy

Jace frederick

@JaceFrederick

1 month

If there is a Game 5 in Minnesota, it will tip off at 8:30 or 9 pm, per the NBA

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

26 days

it’s okay admin i know glen made you do this

Minnesota Timberwolves

@Timberwolves

26 days

FIRST PLAYOFF SERIES WIN IN 20 YEARS. ❤️

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

29 days

folks i finally did it

functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

think i might purchase a NAW jersey tonight….

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

22 days

KATs got the best collection of wolves gear in minnesota

Minnesota Timberwolves

@Timberwolves

22 days

the throwback fit goes crazyyy. 😮‍💨

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

though twolves brazil’s account is dead, the spirit lives on

PETA

@peta

3 months

You wouldn’t want this and dogs forced to race in the #Iditarod don’t either.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

23 days

i’m so tired of national media changing their tone after that series sweep after doubting us from the start

The Associated Press

@AP

23 days

US House votes to remove wolves from endangered list in 48 states

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

4 months

if you didn’t support us at our lowest you don’t deserve us at our best

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@MoronFunctional

6 months

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@MoronFunctional

11 months

@JUNlPER getting people angry at them is the closest human connection these people can feel since they've given up on caring about other people.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

@duckiboyz1979 the gift was great i’m just doing a bit

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

@cooperlund @JaneOst_ she’s a senior in college still whining about a race she lost in her freshman year of high school, really shameful stuff

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 months

call me the minnesota timberwolves the way i’m about to smoke these nugs

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

i’m so tired of what gambling is doing to peoples brains

Alex

@itsalexmyguy

5 months

So Kevin Durant had a streak of 23 games where he hit 25 points and magically yesterday on Christmas he went under while playing 42 minutes and guess what he was on a DraftKings super boost which was for him to score 25 points and CMC to score a TD. What the hell is going on here

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

all 5 timberwolves starters are above 80th percentile in EPM

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

@XaccountAnon do you care if paper is made in china?

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

28 days

i think ant during the regular season wants to have fun playing basketball and ant in the playoffs wants to ruin your life

functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 months

i genuinely think ant is a guy who has too much fun playing basketball for advanced stats to ever fully capture how good he is?

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

19 days

it’s so weird how teams who play the wolves keep playing so below their “normal” game. weird how that consistently just keeps happening by magic

Aaron (Wolves Back)

@Perrywinkle1267

20 days

A DNVR Podcaster said that if Nuggets played their normal game that they would have won by 25-30 pts tonight. Lol

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

10 months

@paleofuture i bet murder has been illegal for a while

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 months

i like SGA but him being a cyber truck owner is so perfect. such a huge win for his haters

OKC THUNDER

@okcthunder

2 months

Pullin’ up the Shai way

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

11 months

just a straight up real world version of this

Wedge LIVE!™

@WedgeLIVE

11 months

The City of Savage still debating solutions for a society overrun with basketball: "Maybe doing a splash pad over here. Maybe we could do a volleyball? Something that would be inclusive, that would include a group of people, but not basketball."

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

20 days

please god give me Karl-Anthony Towns going 8-12 from three today. please, i need it so badly

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

6 months

one big benefit the minnesota timberwolves have is that they do not have any games scheduled against the best team in the nba (the minnesota timberwolves)

NBA University

@NBA_University

6 months

Remaining Schedule Difficulty (1=hardest) 1. DET 2. POR 3. UTA 4. MAM 5. LAC 6. SAS 7. CHA 8. WAS 9. IND 10. PHX 11. NYK 12. SAC 13. MIL 14. DAL 15. ATL 16. OKC 17. LAL 18. BKN 19. MIA 20. TOR 21. CHI 22. ORL 23. DEN 24. HOU 25. CLE 26. NOP 27. GSW 28. BOS 29. MIN 30. PHI

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

10 days

i would exchange the twins getting swept for 1 made jaden mcdaniels three pointer tonight

Brandon Warne

@Brandon_Warne

10 days

Thoughts

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@MoronFunctional

23 days

have thought about this a lot- and i think the timberwolves strongest pairing to smoke weed with would be Jaden and Naz

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

18 days

the team supporting rudy attending the birth of his child and missing a huge playoff game, just for the wolves to go out and win that game anyway? gonna be beautiful.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

a bunch of the biggest dumbasses in the world are about to realize you can’t actually pay elon to get people to like you

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

i really do think that jimmy butler was a pretty shitty older mentor to a young rising start and it’s really cool that KAT decided to be a better one. don’t know how much that stuff matters when the players are this good but i like to think it does

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

Monte Morris taking shake minutes is a godsend

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

6 months

the minnesota timberwolves move to 3-0 in games since henry kissinger died.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

25 days

KAT had 7 turnovers across 4 games with 23% usage while spending most of his energy playing his ass off on defense and the boards. he had meniscus surgery a month ago. i’m so happy for this dude.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

there’s obviously way too much tension with the wolves and the refs at the last game and i think it would be best to be able to turn the temperature down a little bit which is why i’m very much looking forward to a road game against the los angeles lakers

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

i think Ant hitting that bank in 3 when he was previously 0-9 from three and then *immediately* trying an even dumber, further away bank three was one of my favorite moments of the season

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

they have got to put the end product of this on the jumbo tron at target center for the playoffs right

/r/Timberwolves

@r_timberwolves

5 months

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

even off the court NAW is *locked in*

TYRA

@tyra_elisabeth

3 months

I simply do not believe another team in nba has this level of culture where the players are playing diaper games at each others baby showers

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

16 days

no one’s talking about the timberwolves biggest advantage coming home for game 3: altitude. the nuggets are simply not going to know what to do with all this extra oxygen in their bloods and it will be their downfall

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

4 months

lotta reasons you can’t fire finch but the biggest one is the team really likes him

Minnesota Timberwolves

@Timberwolves

4 months

THAT’S OUR COACH

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 months

i think in like 30 years we are gonna look back at this stuff like we view smoking ads from the 1950s today lol

Awful Announcing

@awfulannouncing

2 months

"You know what? Some would call this wagering, gambling; the way you've sold this, I think what it is, is a risk-free investment," said ESPN's Rece Davis after an ESPN Bet segment with Erin Dolan.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

12 days

congratulations on your huge night! you must be feeling so happy right now!

John Kriesel

@johnkriesel

12 days

For everyone that ripped us elder folk for bringing up Minnesota sports history, I hope this game teaches you.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

been getting real tired lately of the incentives that come from social media. to go from this video to only sending this tweet about it to get people riled up is so annoying man

Marc J. Spears

@MarcJSpears

3 months

T-Wolves All-Star Anthony Edwards was asked if AS Game should be USA vs World? Edwards responded that Joker, Luka, Embiid, Giannis, Towns & Shai weren’t enough to fill a Intl. team. When asked about Jamal Murray, Ant said he wasn’t an All-Star. Reporter was stumped and moved on.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 years

@sneakerpants @TheBoneTemple @MikeyTheChosen1 @AlsikkanTV of all the ways to own it i think this is the best

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

this team is so dramatic i love it so much

Karl-Anthony Towns

@KarlTowns

1 month

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

i think it would be easy to understand if KAT had become pretty cynical over the years about basketball, life whatever. but i really admire that he has always kept his positivity and the fact that he has really embraced becoming Ant’s biggest fan makes me so happy

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 months

babe wake up, new angle on the anthony edwards dunk just dropped

nevaRWilliams

@nevaRWilliams

2 months

Greatest Angle Ever for Anthony Edwards Dunk

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 months

anyone doing KAT takes when this 10 game stretch includes winning by 48 against a team barely trying and 6 other games against teams 9th or worse in their conference is getting hit with a rolled up newspaper

Kirk Goldsberry

@kirkgoldsberry

2 months

The Efficiency Landscape. What Jumps Out?

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

every time the wolves disappoint me i will simply root for them harder

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

@tripxassless i worked hard for this

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

7 months

hello @nba i desperately would like to exchange money for the ability to consistently watch my hometown team play basketball.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

i’m always saying this

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

i really can’t believe that Karl-Anthony Towns didn’t stand up for Nurkic last night. shameful

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

4 months

i think ant deciding to take the fine for criticizing the refs on a night where he knows one of the bigger highlights will be a massive dunk where there was an obvious missed call is demonstrating a lebron like savyness for playing the refs and i hope it’s rewarded

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

21 days

admins like “i don’t know what you want me to do i gotta post something” lmao

Minnesota Timberwolves

@Timberwolves

21 days

the much anticipated Round 2 jersey schedule 😂

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

some people here are real freaks about Karl-Anthony Towns, a man that has embraced the Minnesota Timberwolves more than any superstar really should! i don’t get it!

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

about to make 50 million a year and using a worse headset than me i love him

. :)

@EdwardsOfAnt

1 month

😊

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 years

@BruneElections he’s a really good statistician and modeler who has unfortunately learned that punditry is where the money is

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

the minnesota timberwolves:

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

27 days

god bless dane moore’s commitment to podcasting about the wolves

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

jaden mcdaniels stan account mad that jaden mcdaniels’ girlfriend is pregnant because they fought online is breaking my brain the internet is bad for us lol

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

6 months

“KAT should’ve choked out draymond too” friend, they were playing a basketball game

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

the relentless targeting of our most disadvantaged and downtrodden citizens makes life worse for all of us, exhibit 3000

Alex Schieferdecker

@alexschief

1 year

Me: It’s incredibly nice out, I’ve just bought my lunch, all I want to do is sit somewhere outside and eat it. Nicollet Mall: NOT ON MY WATCH

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

someone could reasonably ask “hey does it feel at all weird celebrating this when you complain about how many free throws other star players get” and the answer is no, because those other players don’t play for the team i like

Alan Horton

@WolvesRadio

5 months

Since Xmas Anthony Edwards leads the NBA in FT attempts -- 11.3/g. Over 60% of those have come off drives -- 19.5/g, 4th most. He's getting fouled on 17.9% of those drives -- highest rate in league. For the season, his foul drawing rate on drives is up to 12.7% -- 2nd best.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

@JUNlPER lol if you just want to make a sandwich don’t look up a recipe!

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

call the minnesota timberwolves the slow and inevitable decay of the universe the way they are about to extinguish the suns

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

honestly can we just make it so league pass let’s me watch the team in the city i live or?

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

24 days

it’s been a hard couple months and over the last few weeks Harper really started to decline fast. this afternoon we had to say goodbye to her. i know everyone says this about their dog but i really think she was the best to ever do it. i am profoundly sad right now

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

not all L’s cause i did get this jacket

functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

lmao 22 minutes until the bus comes all L’s for me tonight

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

disappointed in KAT tbh thought he was better than this

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

@swolecialism obviously this is worse with politics involved but i feel like this website is so weird about people having jokes with their significant others in general. it’s always taken in the worst possible way and assumed that it must be a toxic relationship based on nothing

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

it’s so funny that the highlight reel to get us hype for the new player is mostly “he won’t do stupid shit” and it’s working! i’m hype! high basketball IQ king!

Minnesota Timberwolves

@Timberwolves

3 months

Count of Monte Assist/TO 🤝

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

will never understand the hatred people feel towards the caricature of KAT they created in their heads

Ben Stinar

@BenStinar

3 months

Karl-Anthony Towns just said on First Take he thinks Anthony Edwards will be the face of the NBA You have to give KAT a lot of respect. This was HIS franchise. #1 pick. Homegrown All-Star. No jealousy. Only been an A+ teammate to Edwards.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

@JUNlPER i’ve thought about how many laws that are artifacts are better than anything you could pass today. imagine trying to get some of those older labor laws through.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

@AndrewCFollett @TylerDinucci i hope one day you have someone you love enough and who loves you enough to tell jokes with. apparently you don’t but one day maybe

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@MoronFunctional

26 days

in case y’all haven’t picked up on the theme of this story yet- it’s about conquering demons. time for the sweep tonight.

Darren Wolfson

@DWolfsonKSTP

26 days

Scott Foster tonight’s lead official for Game 4 #WolvesBack and Suns. Just was last month Gobert did the below towards Foster and was fined $100K.

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

5 months

if you genuinely think sports are rigged so you can’t win your bets but you also keep gambling every day you should genuinely seek help

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

20 days

i’m going to dm this corgi a blurry photo of the cover of old yeller

Wolves After Dark

@WolvesAfterDark

20 days

How do we feel about the Corgi?

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

17 days

certified NAW moment™️

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

cannot imagine living like this. it seems so sad and frustrating to watch sports this way

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 years

@BruneElections his whole thing used to be how annoying political discourse can get when people stray from the data and just say whatever they think and ever since 2016 he has been the perfect example of his point

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

25 days

give a raise to the camera person who panned around NAW *perfectly* here

No Cap Space

@nocapspace1

25 days

Game. Blouses

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 month

honestly one of my favorite parts of Ant shit talking his idol was KD laughing along. i think it’s good to always be reminded that the way these guys play the game and see each other is very different from how people on here talk about it

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

3 months

i will be a Karl-Anthony Towns fan until the day i die

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

1 year

@ashleyfeinberg i can’t believe they are making you defend twitter lol

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functional moron

@MoronFunctional

2 months

what if the wolves got to the western conference finals and then we learned chris finch actually has like 20 different incredible set plays the team has been practicing for three years but they didn’t want to show their hand too early

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