Iβm an ugly,late middle aged bald bloke with cauliflower ears & bad back. Still got my own teeth.Ex RN, ex Job, ex Rat. Seen some shit! Mr/ Sir/Your Lordship.
@AyoCaesar
This is my son, he's a paramedic in London and off on a shout to a suspected Corona virus case. Him and his crew mate seem very well protected. I'm also very proud of him too. He is doing something positive, not crowing from behind a keyboard.
@Vitt2TsNoC
I havenβt seen an organic kumquat for weeks in my local corner shop, however supplies of foie gras, langoustines, Kobe beef and pecorino cheese are just holding up. We are expecting a parachute drop of Pol-Roger Brut tomorrow. Stay strong.
Brought my bin in earlier and found a snotty note taped to it βYour recycling is in my garden, remove itβ. A couple of bits of plastic had either blown or been dropped on a neighbours lawn. Should I pick it up or should I set fire to my wheelie bin and roll it down his drive?
@benandjerrys
Dear aging hippies from Ben and Jerryβs (Even though you sold out to Unilever a long time ago), please stick to making overpriced super sickly ice cream, not lecturing us.
@MayorofLondon
All artists are prepared to suffer for their work. Itβs a real shame that David Hockney expects the rest of us to fucking suffer on his behalf.
VJ Day and I always think of my grandfather today. He was taken prisoner by the Japanese and spent the next 4 years on the Burma Death Railway. This is one of only two cards that my grandmother received from him in nearly 5 years. He survived. RIP to all Far East POW's
@MPSLadyMargaret
He has either got a fantastic defence brief or the judge has taken leave of his or her senses. Itβs about time that these unduly lenient sentences were appealed against.
@DailyMirror
Can I suggest that those amongst you who cast doubt on this survivors account or mock him, jump in the next plane to Krakow and book a trip to Auschwitz. You may then have a different view. To mock this elderly gent when you have no idea of the horrors he faced is unforgivable.
@kent_police
Dear Kent Police, as this week is Armed Forces Week, could you tell us how you intend marking this event? As Kent was full of famous RAF Stations such as Biggin Hill, whose brave pilots played a huge part in saving us from the Nazi's, will you be raising a flag for them?
@RichardBurgon
Non Doms you say?
Lakshmi Mittal donated Β£5million to the Labour Party in 2010.
Sir Ronald Cohen, who gave Β£2.55million in donations to Labour and then was appointed Chair of the Social Investment task force
Lord Noon, gave the Labour Party Β£1million and went on to HoL.
Ok.
@jeremycorbyn
Hereβs a better idea: Encourage more youngsters to take up vocational training and trade apprenticeships which will stand them in good stead for the rest of their lives instead of spunking away 3 years of their lives and Β£1000βs on a pointless degree.
@Telegraph
One day, the world will look back at the early 21st century and those of us that lived through it will be judged as a bunch of lunatics who allowed ourselves to be taken over and cuckolded by a very noisy minority.
Now, whereβs that fucking asteroid?
@JujuliaGrace
The NHS gets a Β£1 billion every 3 days. How much more does it want? Maybe a cull of diversity managers, an end to team building days for staff, paracetamol on scrip, outrageous procurement costs and insane PFI repayments may be a good place to start.
@anon_opin
Bollocks. Iβve been taxed on every sodding penny Iβve earned since 1978. Iβm still working full time now and still get letters from the taxman to tell me to pay more tax. If all I have left to give to my kids are my (taxed)savings and my house, why should they pay tax on it?
@theJeremyVine
@dw229
Unfortunately Jeremy, having the moral high ground and βbeing in the rightβ doesnβt cut much ice when youβre tweeting from a hospital bed.
@ClaudiaWebbe
I suggest that you nip across the Channel sometime (if your bail conditions permit it, of course) and have a look at the robust policing on the Continent. Now, thatβs proper brutality.
@sandieshoes
@sajidjavid
The NHS was founded to stop people dying of curable illnesses like diphtheria, TB, bronchitis etc and to enable the poor to get treatment , spectacles and dental treatment. Gender reassignment was not one of them, particularly in confused children who are pressured into it.
@jon_trickett
We also have a system where someone with no qualifications or experience can get a job as a Member of Parliament and earn Β£82k PA plus generous expenses for doing diddly squat, while some people spend all day grafting for less than a quarter of that.
@Fiona_Onasanya
Have you considered taking some legal action against Kellogg's? If only you knew a reputable solicitor to act for you. Oh........... Any comment
@SupportOurLefty
@RebelsAnimal
@McDonaldsUK
I detest McDonaldβs, however, Iβm inspired to jump in my car and head off to the local drive through and feed my fat face. Cheers.
@DavidLammy
I'm sure that my dead Grandfather who was captured and tortured by the Japanese before being sent off to slavery on the Burma Death Railway would consider it an atrocity too. Oh, my mistake. He was very grateful as it no doubt saved his life before he was starved to death.
@Femi_Sorry
@_HenryBolton
Femi, there is engaging and there is pandering, disgracing the Office of Constable and exposing yourself to ridicule. This falls into the latter category.
@benandjerrysUK
Send them some of your overpriced, overrated diabetes infused crap which masquerades as ice cream. That's going to make them feel better.
@theJeremyVine
The most powerful e-scooters can reach speeds of 68mph unbelievably. Why should anybody be allowed to ride a powered two wheeler capable of that performance without being licensed or insured?
Legalise them by all means but they must be registered and insured.
@moggsy95
@SimonBridgford
Very similar to my upbringing by a single mother on a shithole council estate in South Wales. My grandfather was a collier and Labour man. I remember that Labour did absolutely nothing for the likes of me in those days, except bring misery. I voted Conservative at first chance.
@OneSocialistBoi
@PoliticsForAlI
@Telegraph
Thereβs a lot of 4 year olds going to school who still havenβt been toilet trained yet. How can they be trusted to have the intellect to decide if theyβre a boy or a girl? They may as well decide that theyβre a dinosaur or a choochoo train. Stupidest idea of the year so far.
@ancestry_emma
I donβt believe that for one moment. Iβve seen lots of documentaries where the plumber turns up at the house of a couple of lesbians and within two minutes heβs whipped his plunger out, fixed the problem and the next thing you know, theyβre at it like knives.
@SiobhanBenita
Aw, bless your little heart. I hope that the next 10 years absolutely fly by and then you can look forward to getting another dark blue UK passport. Stay strong. Alternatively, get over yourself.
@ripx4nutmeg
If I was a female athlete now, Iβd just be thinking βwhat is the point?β.
This is demeaning all of the hard work and effort made by female athletes.
@zarahsultana
@eiecampaign
If only Network Rail, who are responsible for the entire rail infrastructure including the defective overhead power lines which caused your delay, were publicly owned. Oh, they are. Well fancy that.
@sandieshoes
Also, I wish people would stop making snide comments about private pensions too. I have one from my previous career. I paid 12% of my salary for 30 years to get my pension. Itβs not free, nor is it gold plated.
@sandieshoes
Iβm a transport worker, but in a different union. I would have bitten their hands off for that deal. This dispute is not about pay and conditions, itβs an attempt to unseat the government.
@ThatAlexWoman
Donβt tell me how lucky I am. I bought in the 80βs, scrimped for years to get a deposit, 13% interest rates, mortgage took all of my wages and was permanently overdrawn and to top it off I was ripped off by a low cost endowment which had a Β£16k shortfall. Pots of money? π€£π€£π€£
@pcmjmit
My friends wife had the same diagnosis 3 years ago. She is still here and still working. Donβt give up hope and explore every option for your mum.
@jeremycorbyn
Nah. Why should working class people and the not so well educated pay for Juniper, Clementine or Xavier to spunk away their time and taxpayers money whilst they do their course on Pottery of the Dark Ages or Interpretive Dance?
Christ, Iβm old. 45 years ago today I set foot in this fine establishment to start a brief naval career that taught me a lot, made me grow up very quickly and do a job that Iβd recommend to any youngster today.
@CGvetadze
I'm surmising that 99.9% of the vocal remainers have no intention of living or working abroad, which is their favoured argument. If you want to emigrate, you still have 6 months. However, you haven't gone in the last 4 years, are you really going?
8th of August 1978 I boarded a train from Cardiff Central to Plymouth to join this mob. I only served 8 years but it set me up for life.
Happy RNiversary to me!
@PoliticsForAlI
@guardian
Iβll tell you who deserves a pay rise, but wonβt be getting one and they are the people who kept this country running throughout the pandemic: Delivery drivers, retail workers, public transport workers, bin men, police officers, postal workers etc.
@RichardBurgon
Who would I rather have in charge of the economy? Some extremely bright and hardworking young man who has got to high office through his ability or some rancid marxist who got the sack for a fraudulent budget at the GLC? Let me think about that.
@y_alibhai
@benandjerrysUK
Is this the Ben&Jerrys, owned by Unilever, who are responsible for decimation of forests, poisoning its workers with mercury in India, inflicting salmonella infected cereals on Israelis and being in the top 10 plastic waste producers in the world? Good work for two aging hippies.
@LoveShivxx
Where do I start?
Holibobs.
Famalam.
Fur baby.
Baby daddy.
Pupper.
Bro.
Dude.
Chillax.
Cheeky (as in cheeky drink/Nandoβs etc)
And most hated of all: My pronouns areβ¦.
@campbellclaret
Next thing, he will be setting the Middle East on fire, destabilising the whole region and half the world by claiming that someone has WMD on 45 minute standby.
Oh, that was someone else who did that, wasnβt it?
@MayorofLondon
@lorddeben
The population of London would have much more respect for you if you were honest about the ULEZ and admitted that it has nothing to do with improving air quality and everything to do with generating revenue.
@MayorofLondon
Maybe some more efficient drainage may help. Or if Londoners didnβt fill their Victorian sewers with fat, used johnnies, discarded knives, wet wipes, tampons, disposable nappies, fried chicken bones and other detritus, that may help.
@MayorofLondon
I want to go out on the piss on New Years Eve. Do I get a free taxi to and from the pub? Do I bollocks. Why should London get free transport on New Years Eve?
@GuidoFawkes
Love him or hate him, you canβt deny that Boris has charisma and character. Unlike some of the soggy gusseted misery guts fun vacuums that are currently infesting our Parliament.
@MPSHackney
Ooh, that's going to teach him.
6 previous convictions and he gets a bender.
That sums up all that is wrong with the CJS.
That young man is a murder waiting to happen.
@PhillipaWindsor
@metpoliceuk
If youβre looking for sympathy, it can be found in the Oxford English Dictionary somewhere between β shitβ and βsyphilisβ. I would suggest that an apple and water was a vegan meal and those that you delayed for hours would have appreciated some food while you played in the road.
@GaryLineker
@largejack1000
@England
Fans are booing them because they pay their hard earned to see a game of football, not be lectured by overpaid ball chasers about supporting an organisation hell bent on inflicting their agenda on the world.
Havenβt you got some crisps to sell?
@TheTVGrump
@itvnews
Kids got new Nike trainers on, mother has got a bling watch, new trainers and decent clothes. I wont even mention her appearance which suggests that she is very well nourished. Money for appearances, no money for food. If you're going to stick up for her, don't reply to me.
@DVATW
Many years ago I went to a senior officers leaving do. His retirement speech went "When I joined the police, homosexuality was illegal. It then became legalised, it's now actively encouraged and I'm glad that I'm leaving now before it becomes compulsory!".
@EmmaKennedy
Yes. Ukraine are extremely grateful for 5000 German helmets, a few anti tank weapons that don't work and 3 tonnes of bratwurst. Meanwhile, Putin is even more grateful to them for continuing to buy Russian gas.
@GBNEWS
The headline should say βHow do the police restore their trust with the public?β
PC Harper - murdered.
PC Palmer - murdered.
PC Beshenivsky - murdered.
PC Bone - murdered.
Sgt Ratana - murdered.
PC Hughes - murdered.
PC Dibell - murdered.
I could list many, many more.
@FlimandCo
@DavidLammy
@BorisJohnson
Come on mate, grow up a bit. Nobody should wish harm on a fellow human, no matter which side of the political divide you may find yourself.
@RichardBurgon
Iβm sorry to hear that the Shadow Chancellor job wasnβt given to you Mr B, with your incredible grasp of economics, we could have looked forward to you regularly ripping Rishi Sunak a new one.
π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£ππ
@DaiLloydCymru
@RichardBurgon
Ah, yes I remember the halcyon days of the nationalised electricity suppliers. Constant power cuts, having our electricity cut off because we couldnβt afford to pay the bill, striking workers. Happy days.
@_melissastory_
I live in Cornwall and when the boozer reopens I'll send you all a picture of me enjoying a lovely pint at 2255 after you've all been sent home to bed.
@toryboypierce
@RishiSunak
Let me think for a moment. Is it his own money? Yes. Does it effect me in any way? No. Therefore, do I care what he does with his money? No.
Iβd rather he spent his own money than fiddling thousands on outrageous purchases on expenses or flip homes like some MPβs do.
@GBNEWS
Serial offender who thinks that the law only applies to little people, not her. I appreciate that she has MH issues and a severely disabled son, but the court now needs to give her a sentence that reflects the seriousness of the offence and her contempt for the law.
@AnasSarwar
And the greatest achievements, setting the Middle East ablaze, saddling the NHS with unsustainable PFI debts, stealing from the pension funds, giving away our gold reserves at rock bottom prices and leaving the Treasury potless in 2010. Yay, way to go.
@AngelaRayner
Has anybody ever used House of Commons headed notepaper to bemoan the fact that a shoe shop didnβt sell her a pair of tacky Star Wars shoes?
@GreenJennyJones
@policescotland
Please donβt feign ignorance. Itβs worn as a sign of respect and support to colleagues, both fallen and those still serving, as you no doubt already know.
@NormanBrennan
Q1. I wouldnβt feel remotely comfortable about her being any MP, let alone
my MP.
Q2. She should resign immediately, but we all know that she wonβt because
she genuinely believes herself to be the victim. Oh, and because she
is also totally shameless.