Princess Big Mac Is NOT at BABSCon @Lightning956 Twitter profile

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Princess Big Mac Is NOT at BABSCon

@Lightning956

2 years

@blobbynfriends “And if my parents get sad they can’t have grandkids, I’ll remind them of when I asked for a pony, and they said “You can’t always get what you want.””

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2 years

@LB4857 @TansuYegen Tell me you’ve never driven a truck without telling me you’ve never driven a truck.

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1 year

@ThePrimalDino @DoobusGoobus Cari, Grant, and Tori? Yeah. So much so, Cari and Tori were in a Tide commercial together recently.

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5 months

@JohnnyBeMe101 But… Markiplier IS Korean…

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11 months

@Quija9000XTREAM @fasc1nate It’s my understanding this is illegal in competition

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6 months

@MuskTillDawn “I ran to the closet and got my dad’s gun,.. he didn’t know I knew about it… I shot the grinch 4 times.”

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3 years

@CBT_Worm @smugry @GokuSenpaii “I knew they were destroying property, but I never thought they’d destroy MY property!”

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@Lightning956

3 years

@BurgundyBitch72 I used to tell my father some obscure, but impressive fact about something that I learned. He’d say “why don’t you do your school work like that?” That doesn’t make me want to try harder at school. It makes me want to not talk to you.

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1 year

@Slimer2005 @ShitpostGate They aren’t the OP’s kids. They were let into their collection room by their sister, cuz “they’re just toys!”

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2 years

@fizzyloafbot @OctaviousNight @BabyLamb5 “These ARE just like my mother used to make! Just wish mom was a better cook.”

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1 year

@LCS_Big_Mike @ThePrimalDino @DoobusGoobus They probably would have had Grant trying to supercharge the washing machine, Tim Allen style.

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@Lightning956

1 year

@kennedytcooper My uncle Charlie said it best. “If two (bundles of sticks), or two (river dams) wanna get married… or someone says “I don’t wanna be a man no more, I’m a woman”… how does that effect you? You still gotta share the planet with him… or her… they’ll tell me!”

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5 years

@RVAReid @prpltnkr and being told that they get paid too much because "It's not that hard"... by people who've never worked in the food service.

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2 years

@blobbynfriends “Wow… three kids… you know those are permanent, right? You’re gonna regret those when you’re older, Karen.”

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4 years

@8k_slim @MartyBellvue He has Car, Life, and Health. Car for accident damage, Health for routine maintanence, Life for end of life expenses

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5 years

@WenzlerPowers Wonka: YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY! Charlie: I’m calling the Health Board. Wonka: CHARLIE, MY BOY, YOU’VE WON!

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6 months

@JonathanJosephT @JediNabber “You can’t have both?” “Why not?” “Because I said so.” “And who are you?”

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2 years

@RengaRyuk @BadgercIops You completely changed the tone… By changing the tone…

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2 years

@fuckedupcars I’d drive it. Ka-Chow.

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5 months

@Bonacci_NFT @StrangestMedia So is stealing blood, spreading disease, and making us itch.

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2 years

@DAVID1985453741 @InterestingsAsF It’s a friendly game, now you want Vegas Rules?

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2 years

@NyteDaez @blobbynfriends Any situation where you were told “You can’t always get what you want”, then you might have even had them quote that Rolling Stones song…

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1 year

@MLPMemeArchive I don’t know what countries they’re all from, but I’m Italian!

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2 years

@duaneeddytwang @InterestingsAsF You could get some old tires that people have thrown in the river… free equipment AND help clean up the planet.

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1 year

@_DHOTYA And that little girl grew up to be Barack Obama.

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3 years

@LeahtheMoon @HoztileManikyn @BurgundyBitch72 “I suffered more than you, so your pain doesn’t matter!”

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2 years

@Mireles311 @InterestingsAsF And how much are Property taxes again?

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3 years

@JWCartoonist @RealGamerduck SQUIDWARD!

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2 years

@FarfallTheThird @pickuplinesonig “Change yourself for me, a total stranger!” Isn’t a great line either.

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2 years

@Kayla89840133 @RiseFallNickBck Wait… Stu turned down a job? After his second child was born? Yeah, follow your dreams, but ya gotta support your family first!

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2 years

@RiseFallNickBck If it was made now… “Did YOU finish College?” *starts sobbing* YE-E-E-E-ES!”

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3 years

@srslyberserk Manager: *is rude* Employee: *responds curtly* Manager: well, you don’t have to be so rude.

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1 year

@toonsgowild To be fair, she was alive until her head met the concrete.

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3 years

@biblio_writer @Puff_Iya And 30 years from now, he’ll be sitting in the nursing home, wondering why “That Ungrateful Brat” never visits…

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1 year

@toonsgowild Seriously though, how you gonna BORROW a French Fry?! You gonna give it back?!

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11 months

@PhilosophyR0ad @NoContextHumans Typical. “Kid is having fun? NOT ON MY WATCH!”

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5 years

@Mexiflan @S1owRiot @JonathanBarkan WEST VIRGINIAAAAAAAA! MOUNTAIN MOMMA! TAKE ME HOME! Country roads.

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5 years

@GabeTheTabby @RiseFallNick @Rammunnoodles Spongebob, going for that High Score in GTA.

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5 months

@_StoryBehind @BestFightClip So, she antagonized him… And she was old enough to know better.

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@Lightning956

7 months

@WulfsbaneComics @Geekdaddy75 He had the kids sign a liability waiver at the beginning of the tour. He didn’t push Augustus into the river. He didn’t make violet eat the meal gum. He didn’t make Varuka get on the egg scale. He didn’t make Mike travel by TV.

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@Lightning956

1 year

@Deathly_Price @spongearchive_ That’s how the frisbee got started. College kids tossing pie tins. And they were Frisbee’s pie tins.

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@Lightning956

4 months

@RealYouTubeKids @TheRealNeoThe You didn’t pay attention. If Steve met that stingray today, he’d say “I didn’t mean ta scare ya mate. Look at you, you’re a beauty!” He also picked up a wild animal that got startled and acted as a wild animal would. That’s why you don’t touch wild animals.

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4 years

@nullv0idguy @Toruhiiyi @Kayla_NaAdult They’d be leaving my house in the Coroner’s Van... Sudden Heart Attack.

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@Lightning956

1 year

@ShitpostGate Did you hear that the city of New York is planning to completely replace the Mass Transit system on Manhattan? Look up “The Manhattan Project” for more information.

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11 months

@ConSelfOwns “It was about States’ Rights” “State’s Rights to do WHAT?!”

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5 years

@OhNoSheTwitnt @prpltnkr Please spread me around their yards... Also, Don't cremate me.

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11 months

@tawogclips Darwin, spelled JPXFRD

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3 years

@TheReal_SCG @JulieTentacles @CamiloNazar “No you won’t! I can’t hang out here all night! I’ve got a life!

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@Lightning956

1 year

@DudespostingWs Yeah, 97.2% of fire departments… just ask and they’ll show you everything you want to see if their equipment. Source: used to be a firefighter

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1 year

@MoozerTheBlob @HowThingsWork_ Neither of those were jokes.

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11 months

@PhilosophyR0ad @NoContextHumans That’s all that’s happening. The kid is dancing and having fun. And the dad is mad. Everyone is saying the kid is gonna get whipped.

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5 years

@HyenaGrin @LigerzeroGaming People only think billionaires are ok because they hope to someday be one.

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@Lightning956

4 years

@kitkitmew @aquabeings I had something like that once too.. Someone made a joke about me coming to school with a weapon... Oh, and someone told the principal that I was the one who said that and I got suspended for a week.

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@Lightning956

7 months

@Osiris_018 @HannaBarberaCap This was the episode where The Professor feels bad because he never invented anything on purpose. And the PPGs were created by accident with the Chemical X. These are the girls he was originally trying to make. The Run Of The Mill girls.

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4 years

@nebulahoroscope Your star sign has nothing to do with it.

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4 years

@pedazodeoro @pony_talk The government can tell people what to do... until it tells THEM what to do...

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@Lightning956

2 years

@cam312555 @princkleminckle @cartoonsonghard Finn had an innocent teenage infatuation. Mordecai once drove a LONG distance to return Margaret’s sweater after she went to college. He knew where she was. He could have mailed it.

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@Lightning956

1 year

@DoobusGoobus “I don’t understand my phone, but I understand book. Kids understand phone, so they must not understand book! I am very intelligent.”

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@Lightning956

5 years

@DirkDig21786284 @Timerican *rustling in the bushes as an attack Helicopter appears* This is a decision that will cost the jet it’s life.

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@Lightning956

5 years

@TazoGumball2345 @RiseFallNick Chris Reeves said that, when they were filming Superman, he’d go out for lunch in character. When he was “Superman” he got recognized all the time. But when he went as Clark Kent, he never got recognized. Clark Kent was a great disguise.

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4 months

@otherdavis “The difference between Science and Fooling Around is writing it down” -Adam Savage

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5 years

@NoahMurphy26 @mindblowtips I made $150 yesterday. I went to work.

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2 years

@RyeTheLoaf @fuckedupcars *songbird starts to play*

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2 years

@DuelistAis @BloomMoonbeam “Wife throwing simulator!”

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2 years

@meat_popsiclez @deerfella @BexarBandito The young truck will stay with its mother until it is strong enough to hunt on its own.

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2 years

@unqgy @SpongeBob It would have cost you nothing to not say that. Why’d ya have to go and tweet it? When ya really should just delete it. Now, we all wanna unsee it.

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4 years

@quesobuenosi @Toruhiiyi @Cheetahfluff Not as much as being torn in half by a demon...

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@Lightning956

3 years

@JackWNelmes96 @SeanDon_254 @steveo That’s why, when you’re thinking of getting a raunchy tattoo, have the artist draw it on in Sharpie and live with it for a week. Cuz then, you won’t have to cover it with a guy riding an ostrich.

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2 years

@PixarCarsFacts1 That’s what he WANTS you to think.

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5 years

@xXMisterDiscoXx @philswiftontv NO! PHIL HAS SNIFFED TOO MUCH FLEX GLUE AND NOW ALL HE SEES IS MARTIANS!

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2 years

@Garnet35727222 @cartoonsonghard He’d gotten over PB by then.

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@Lightning956

2 years

@AxelHoza @CamilleCailloux Make it the cutest man car door hook hand

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@Lightning956

5 months

@lepslair @PicturesFoIder That’s the oldest trick in the book.

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3 months

@Inkrizz3 @maelinkz He can fix anything.

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10 months

@quebecween @YakLol2 “Phones are bad! They’re ruining humanity!” -Sent from my phone while pooping

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2 years

@blobbynfriends “And then what? Free housing for everyone? Maybe free food and water?” “Yes!”

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2 years

@BatSam247 @RiseFallNickBck He had the pineapple first. Maybe he’s a trust fund baby, with enough to coast through life, so he’s able to pursue his passion of Frycooking. His first words were “May I take your order?” He made a spatula out of toothpicks in Wood Shop. He’s A big, yellow cube with holes!

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1 year

@MLPMemeArchive It’s probably easier to go through a net than GLASS.

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2 years

@fuckedupcars DONT DEAD, OPEN INSIDE!

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@Lightning956

11 months

@PhilosophyR0ad @NoContextHumans 1: I once had to eat shampoo as a Punishment. I also once had my head burned with a hot pot, and used to get hit all the time. You don’t know me. And 2: when did I say that?

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5 years

@negIigence Me: wanna hang out this weekend? Friend: sorry. I have plans with *Other Friend* Me:

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6 months

@vivid_soldier @lollothedude Rockstars don’t DO homework because they already DID all their homework. Motivate the kid to do their homework.

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1 year

@warrior_heroic @duck_twacy You think he’s FOR Animal Cruelty? He’s a Sailor, not a Monster.

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1 year

@ayxdo @amazing_physics There’s also the animal testing part. Animal testing has been largely outlawed.

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7 months

@Swag_K1RBY @rubixxube HE DID WHAT IN HIS CUP?!

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11 months

@Hustlling @NoContextHumans Imagine watching a kid dance for 30 seconds and IMMEDIATELY thinking it means no grandkids for you. Shut off.

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2 years

@LordBrozai @GarfielfStuff @toonsgowild I never saw this. I retract my earlier statement. But remember guys, sex with an imaginary friend is still Masturbation.

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3 months

@RespectfulMemes “Just… don’t try and hit on me, ok?” “I wasn’t going to.” “WHY NOT?!”

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5 years

@RajIsBored @captainkalvis Only one person can stop him... the man with the Yellow GATT.

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2 years

@MrKekeriko @ToonFeels And it’s ok to cry… Until you actually do, then it “ugh, ew, stop that.”

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2 years

@TheGaym90824320 As anyone who has ever done edibles will tell you, they don’t kick in till you say they aren’t working.

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2 years

@SonderQuest He should also be sentenced to be chased by an unpredictable man in a gorilla suit for the next 3 to 5 years.

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4 years

@HugoThePinkCat @RedCard94 And in 30 years, They're gonna be sitting in the Nursing Home, wondering why their child never comes to visit.

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4 years

@AJ_Eat_Potato Alastor also says “We have a special place for MAPS... it’s the part that’s always on fire.”

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10 months

@JesseRSmithh @andshestroking @crazyclipsonly Every science book ever?

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11 months

@YoseiiNine @TheJakeneutron “We finally have something we can agree on… That was the worst thing we’ve ever seen.” Not “we didn’t like it.” Not “thanks, but we’re still angry.” Nope… the. Worst. Thing. Ever.

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5 years

@CartoonHeroGuy @MarcoTGE But most people just call him “The Ha-GURK!” Cuz that’s all they have time to say... before he... GETS THEM!

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