Kevin Perjurer @KevinPerjurer Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Kevin Perjurer

@KevinPerjurer

33,957

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Creator of @Defunctland , Host(?) of Where We Parked, Fan of the Mozzies. I tweet, then I delete, it’s what I do.

Joined April 2018

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

10 months

I have a new theme park podcast. It's called Where We Parked. I've been working on it for over a year. It's more fun than educational, but I really enjoy recording it. Episode 1 is now available for free, and seven episodes are available on the Defunctland Patreon.

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@VirginiaAn55846

@KPRC2WEATHER

@stw_pdg

@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I know this might be controversial but I don’t think the five minute sexual assault joke would have happened if the Muppets had hosted the Oscars.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

Uh oh

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

The absolute panic when you’re on the ground and you know your hands are going to shoot fireworks at the end of the measure whether you’re ready or not.

@ScottGustin

Scott Gustin

2 years

It’s like Mickey always says: If you get knocked down, get back up before you shoot fireworks out of your hands.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I wonder if the Spy Kids ever tortured anyone for information.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

When Mickey’s copyright goes to the public domain in 2 years, I look forward to Disney doing absolutely no lobbying and going all in on inspiring lawmakers to grant them an extension through powerful entertainment content.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I can’t believe the Queen died on Disney Plus Day.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

The joke is directed toward attractive men in attendance and it’s just weird and uncomfortable and I don’t know why the Academy of Motion Picture Arts thought they of all industries should do a live casting couch scenario

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Breaking: Disney CEO Bob Chapek to hold meeting with live action LeFou, the background gay kiss characters from Star Wars, and Captain America’s nameless gay support group friend to discuss the company’s proud legacy of platforming LGBTQ+ stories and characters.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

AI art crushes my soul and hope for humanity in a way that few things have. This man was only dead for two days before someone took his art, fed it into a machine, and asked it to spit out lifeless imitations of his life’s work. It feels so gross.

@BG_5you

🧛‍♂️𝟝𝖄𝖔𝖚

2 years

Hi! I just trained a model to draw in the style of the late Kim Jung Gi, as an hommage. I'm fairly happy with the results, given how complicated is his style. Hope you like it, feel free to use it by yourself (credit plz) : #KimJungGi #stablediffusion

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

I'm considering writing a book on dining at Walt Disney World, as it's a huge passion of mine that I don't ever get to talk about on Defunctland. Would that interest anyone?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

7 months

Every person I have screened this Epcot video to has immediately said that I'm crazy. Not in a "whoa it's amazing" way. Just pure bafflement, neutral to quality. I have seen multiple looks of fear and concern in the eyes of my friends and colleagues.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

9 months

Incredible. Honored.

@coolfest1999

Silly Stu

9 months

now for a song about something that means a lot to me

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

I hate that Disney is trying to reduce crowds by raising prices rather than the tried and true method of making weird boring rides that only I like.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Just got off the Starcruiser. Absolutely loved it! Worth the price, period. A huge Cast Compliment to Jacob the security guard who said “Sir, you can’t be here, this is a press event,” before dragging me against my will off the premises. Immaculate service, I WILL be going back.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

New Defunctland tomorrow

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

Hi I’m a standup comedian famous for making insightful societal commentary and I accept your praise of it but I am now also offending you just because lol stop taking this seriously it’s just comedy, also take me seriously now, now don’t, now do, I am a hero thank you goodnight.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I know this sounds overdramatic, but I authentically believe that Disney ending Magical Express is the one of the most confounding decisions the history of Walt Disney World.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

This is one of the most embarrassing and shameful things I have ever read, and imagine how poorly this is going to age.

@Blog_Mickey

BlogMickey.com

2 years

FULL TEXT: Disney CEO Bob Chapek Sends Company-Wide Email on “Don’t Say Gay Bill”; Will Not Denounce Legistlation

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

If I see one more “Disney should just relocate out of Florida” tweet I am going to relocate off this planet.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

God I’m jealous of future me making the Defunctland episode on this.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

I don’t know who is telling DeSantis that going after Disney is a good idea, but at this point, it might be one of the major reasons he will not win the Republican nomination. Trump will say “I love Disney, I love that lion, MUFASA” at a rally and DeSantis’ bid will be over.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

What happened at Icon Park is tragic and my heart goes out to all affected. As others are saying, do not watch the video and report the video if you see it.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

This one took everything I had. Not to be dramatic, but I really pushed myself artistically to create this. I hope it paid off.

@Defunctland

Defunctland

3 years

The wait is over. Disney's FastPass: A Complicated History is out. Watch now:

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

This is so tailor-made for white people I’m convinced it’s a trap.

@DisneyParks

Disney Parks

2 years

The magic of Disney has inspired a new member of the Disney family of products: new Storyliving by Disney home communities. ✨ 🏠

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

The reason that all billionaires are assholes is because there is no non-asshole way to acquire a billion dollars.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

9 months

Really not sure how to feel about the Animal Kingdom news. I get that they want more characters in the park, but the new show 'Ralph Destroys an Ecosystem' just doesn't feel in line with the spirit of that park.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

9 months

I have around 40 questions related to the lore ramifications this has on Toy Story.

@AshleyLCarter1

Ashley Carter

@AshleyLCarter1

9 months

ESPN just announced "Toy Story Funday Football," a Toy Story-themed, fully animated alternate broadcast of the Falcons-Jaguars game on Oct. 1. This presentation of the game will be set in Andy's room and be available via ESPN+ and Disney+.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

The jokes in The Batman are funny because they don’t break tone, none of the characters are made for comic relief, but when a cop says batman is corrupting evidence and Gordon points out he’s wearing gloves that is comedically more impressive than 10 minutes of Feig-style improv.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

8 months

I have some thoughts on the 2017 film “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” is this a good place to share them?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

Nothing will make you realize differences in media comprehension more than making something and then reading what people thought was going to happen.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I like how Marvel movies still legally have to put “this film is fictional and any similarities to real persons is coincidental” as if some actual wizard is in the audience absolutely certain that his life has been ripped off for profit.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

“I have a serious medical condition that would make it unsafe for me to get the vaccine. Anyways, what's up guys, today I'm maskless vlogging at the most crowded theme park on earth in the epicenter of the third wave of a pandemic.”

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

8 months

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@Blog_Mickey

BlogMickey.com

8 months

RUMOR: Bear Gets Into Magic Kingdom, Shuts Down Half of the Theme Park

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

7 months

I just hope the main takeaway is the story and the experience and not "this guy is nuts"

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

The area music at Disney Parks transitions so smoothly between lands, only briefly can you hear two tracks simultaneously. At Disney Springs, you will hear at least five music sources at a time, typically a Jimmy Buffet impersonator, the Oceans 12 soundtrack, and elevator music.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Movies used to be so simple. At the beginning of a film, a character would attempt a stage dive and no one catches them. At the end, they would successfully stage dive. You don’t see character growth like that anymore.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Just thought I’d put all of my Starcruiser tweets in one place.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Internet fame culture has broken people’s minds to the point that they legitimately would rather have 10 million subscribers than $10,000,000.

@MrBeast

MrBeast

2 years

Would you rather have $10,000,000 or 10,000,000 subscribers on YouTube?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

If we're letting Mando and Grogu into Galaxy's Edge and ditching the timeline, I want to blow up the Death Star with the Millennium Falcon.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Economists will tell you that a recession is imminent when the NASDAQ chart dips below the Fortune 500 or something like that but really the big tell of a recession is that Disney is rolling out perks to guests again. If the Disney Dining Plan comes back there will be a bank run.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I've said it before, but one of my most formative moments artistically in the past three years is when they released that awful Endgame deleted scene where all the heroes kneed for Tony and the internet in mass couldn't figure out why it wasn't left in the film.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

So my child is still not allowed to hug Mickey Mouse but I’m allowed to cage fight him in the park after hours while cast members place bets on who will win? Make it make sense.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

The point of this tweet is hypocrisy on getting involved in politics and lobbying, not the intricacies of copyright law

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

What if every time rich people went to space for five minutes we simply didn’t let them back in until they became better people?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

8 months

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

The secret to making an incredible theme park is building a lot of rides that are just ok.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Every local and national reporter were in agreeance that Disney and Orange/Osceola Counties were screwed and it was the apocalypse last week, and today Disney just quietly said “Did anybody do even an ounce of reading on this?”

@MiamiHerald

Miami Herald

2 years

Disney tells investors state can’t dissolve special district without paying debt

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

If Disneyland could legally ban SoCal locals they would.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

For about a year, I used photos of wax Brad Pitt as my avi because I thought it was funny, and this whole Dream thing has encouraged me to say, just in case my face is ever revealed, that I actually look like wax Chris O’Dowd so manage your expectations.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

My new favorite food trend is wilderness cooking videos in which someone cooks a meal using nothing but a hand-made fire, a cleaver, and ingredients that were grown in four different continents and three different biomes that they picked up from the grocery store prior to taping.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Reality Show Idea: Take famous film directing duos, separate them, and make them each produce a short film so we can see which one does the heavy lifting.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Hey everyone I know I said it wasn’t possible to move Walt Disney World to another state but I was wrong I found a button that does it, it’s just right here my bad

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

8 months

I enjoy the character R2D2. He doesn’t speak English but you can tell he has an attitude. I wonder what he has been up to recently?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I watched Young Sheldon for the first time because they promised there would be a big twist and the twist is that Sheldon’s 17 year old brother got a 30 year old woman pregnant.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Statement from Disney claiming they were unaware of the content of the performance and will be revising how they review the content of high school teams in 3… 2…

@JennyENicholson

Jenny Nicholson

@JennyENicholson

2 years

According to a post by a parent in the school district, disney world wouldn't allow the cheerleaders to wear the full war bonnet they usually wear for routines, meaning what appears in the video was actually seen by park officials and approved

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

“We’re doing it because our competitors would be doing it if they could” is not what you want to hear from a company dealing with anything remotely creative.

@GratThemeParks

Gratuitous Theme Parks

@GratThemeParks

3 years

The Trump mannerisms tho

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

They’re going to build so much stuff behind Big Thunder Mountain that Windermere, Florida will be dissolved.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

I could spend $3500 on AR goggles, one night on the Galactic Starcruiser, or 17,500 bananas? Uh, I think I’ll take the bananas, thanks.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I’ve often wondered what will aesthetically date this current era of theme park design when viewed in the future, and I am confident that it’s going to be that awful grey plastic-feeling material that is used for 90% of new attractions.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

So you all think it’s so weird that they made it canon that the $5000 hotel is where Han and Leia had their honeymoon? Ever since I was a kid, Han Solo was my hero, and one day I knew that I would sleep in the bed he canonically banged Leia in. You think that’s funny?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

When people get nostalgic and want to travel back in time they never consider the lack of air conditioning or the racism.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

Disney sure is acting like there isn’t another entertainment resort 15 minutes north of them that is about to nearly double in size and also is better at them at everything except animatronics.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I know it’s offensive to social media professionals when people believe their work is being done by random college interns, but I think we believe that because the idea of a grown adult meticulously co-opting the language of Gen Z to sell Doritos is really embarrassing.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

9 months

I love how the majority of posts on this site are now formatted like “Pizza is a food that many people enjoy, but some people don’t care for it. What about you? What are your thoughts on pizza?”

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Went to see the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular today for the first time since it reopened, and they said they took Covid safety precautions but during the show the Indy actor french kissed three stuntmen mid-fight and then shouted, “I need more mouth juice!” Is this safe??

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Thank you everyone for your opinion on the altercation between these two celebrities. We are currently sifting through the results now. Please have patience as we are mostly volunteers.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Any person that thinks it is possible to move one park, let alone the entire resort, to anywhere, even like three feet to the right, is out of their mind and should never be taken seriously in this field or any other for the rest of their lives.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I hope that spicy wings interview guy never stops and becomes the next Larry King. I want to see him at 89, balancing a wing in his elderly hands, scorching whatever skin he has left on his face, all while interviewing modern musicians that he doesn't listen to.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I really dislike modern theme park attraction naming conventions. I have been trying to think for the last ten minutes of what the Ratatouille ride is called without Googling it, and all I can come up with Remy's Ratatouille Adventure, but there's no way that it's that right?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

I’m going to park in these new EPCOT parking lots so hard.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

8 months

The “say something bad about _____” trend is bad. Catnip for contrarians.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I want to study the Tik Tok phenomenon of “one joke” accounts that had a successful unique joke/character once and then made it their entire life and personality.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

I really enjoy writing. Since most of my videos have become so heavy on research, I never feel like I'm just writing. I want to write something in my voice that is far less focused on history.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

The worst part about Disney’s new community is that some developer probably paid them a ridiculous amount of money, and all Disney contributed was two TV spots, six pieces of concept art, a weeks worth of ideas, and a closet full of Mickey themed decorations for the clubhouse.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

I think I'm going to transition this account to mainly be links to some longer form personal writings of mine. I hope you'll check it out.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

We are officially playing the world’s largest and longest game of werewolf/mafia.

@ScottGustin

Scott Gustin

3 years

BREAKING: Universal Orlando has officially updated its mask policy. "Face coverings are optional for fully vaccinated guests. Non-vaccinated guests are asked to wear face coverings at all indoor locations."

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Tech bros and (fake) entrepreneurs view art simply as product. They can say it’s a “tribute” or a “tool” or “just for fun” all they want. We all know where they want this to go, and it’s to cut those annoying passions and those expensive skills out of the art commerce equation.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I created this account to get my theme park sarcasm and commentary away from the Defunctland twitter but often my work gets brought up with things that I say on here. It’s difficult mentally to have a throwaway tweet and then have it affect people’s perception of me or my work.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

4 months

We need to collectively find a way to break it to tech bros that the consumer product revolution is over and that they missed the boat.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Literally just don’t say anything. If you’re going to be a soulless profit-minded business that cares more about money than people then just don’t say anything. I would quit before releasing a statement like this. How could you sleep at night with your name signed on it?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

The thing about Guardians that is just so cool is that it plays rock music while you ride. Why don’t more coasters do this? It’s incredible and so unique.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

That CM is going to go on to be the best bomb defuser in the SWAT and when asked why their hands are so smooth they’ll just say “this is nothing compared to the DCP.”

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

Disney should allow haggling at all gift shops in the parks.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

9 months

And the new slogan "I'm gonna wreck the biodiversity of this biome" just feels tone-deaf. Am I wrong here?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

10 months

Death of the author can’t occur if you keep releasing different versions of the text at a rate that the audience can’t keep up with.

@Marmxcca13

FULL-MARC

10 months

WAIT I JUST NOTICED ANOTHER CHANGE IN ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE. I’m the Digital version Miles remembers Miguel saying that the Spider that bit him is not from his dimension but in the Theater version Miles thinks to himself with Textboxes and everything. #AcrossTheSpidervers

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

It’s actually WALT Disney Springs. They were his springs.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

The most surprising part of today’s shareholders meeting was when somebody asked about the Mary Poppins attraction that was announced three years ago and Chapek knew what they were referring to.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Never forget

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Basing my fandom on the successes of an entertainment company and my YouTube career off of the failures of that same company is probably among the best bet hedging scenario ever conceived.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

How is this not the most cringe paragraph of a corporate statement. Imagine phoning your team at FX to ask “what’s your most inclusive show? I’m drafting a letter to shut our employees up.”

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

4 months

If the Academy Awards were honest, Best Editing should go to a movie with 10% on Rotten Tomatoes that, had it not been for one editor’s ingenuity, would have been scrapped from release entirely.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I didn’t get to try a lot of the food but Jacob told me to “taste his lightning” right before tasing me and it wasn’t bad. A little exotic but definitely popped.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Someone’s worst day, the day they lose a family or friend, is not your “ #7 ” in a top ten list. You’re gross and wrong. You’re not edgy or cool. This is not interesting or eerie or spooky. This is awful, full stop.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

I love when tech reviewers say "Now for everyday use, this $7000 computer might be too much, but for someone like me who edits videos full time, it's worth it." Hey man your videos are just a single 4k file of you holding up computers, why do you need so much processing power?

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Obi-Wan is ok but I really wish it was set entirely on a desert planet. All of these varied locations aren’t nearly as visually interesting or as exciting as a desert. Really hope Star Wars goes back to its roots and by roots I don’t mean plants I mean desert.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

As Universal breaks ground on a third park and new hotels, Disney encourages its guests to travel throughout Orlando on their own. It is the kind of decision a company would make during a liquidation sale not when they’re preparing for tough competing thirty minutes north.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

3 years

“After fifty magical years, we are honored to rededicate this incredible park.” *pushes giant button* *single firework goes off* *quietly walks off stage*

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

They were very active in US counter intelligence in the early to mid 2000s so I think it’s naive to think they weren’t aware of the tactics.

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

2 years

Definition of doing the right thing for the wrong reasons.

@THR

The Hollywood Reporter

2 years

Disney Copyrights Targeted In Bill Proposed by Sen. Josh Hawley

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@KevinPerjurer

Kevin Perjurer

1 year

What is your favorite defunct Walt Disney World restaurant, dish, or snack?

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