Jon Stewart @jonstewart Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

So...if I do really well on here I get to be President, yes?

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

This is bullshit. The Redditors aren't cheating, they're joining a party Wall Street insiders have been enjoying for years. Don't shut them down...maybe sue them for copyright infringement instead!! We've learned nothing from 2008. Love StewBeef

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

Thanks for the warm welcome! I promise to only use this app in a sporadic and ineffective manner.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

A Message to and from Mister Senator Ted Cruz...Attorney at Law #PassthePactact

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Sooo…it appears the Supreme Court believes their opinions have a fundamental right to privacy…

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

I called Tucker Carlson a dick on National television. It’s high time I apologize...to dicks. Never should have lumped you in with that terrible terrible person.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Friends. Tonite I am sad. @TuckerCarlson believes me too short to date…and yet somehow, miraculously, I remain tall enough to not know what Victor Orban’s ass tastes like! Is it goulash Tucky? Seems like it would be goulash.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

“The President was guilty of everything he was accused of...which is why I voted to acquit”

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

Trending??...I didn’t realize I was still alive!!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

This is the best season of cspan…ever.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 months

umm...note to CNN...a "chaotic incident" is college kids storming a basketball court, not a massacre at a food line...

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Bob Saget… Just the funniest and nicest…

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Funny. @SenToomey never called for spending caps on the war…only on the health care for veterans sickened by said wars. Interesting priorities. #PassthePactact

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

I can’t believe they assigned Trump such a shitty Public Defender.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

This impeachment highlights a fundamental tenet of our legal system. All Americans,regardless of status, are entitled to a speedy trial by a jury of your cowardly partisan sycophants and henchmen.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Bill Russell was one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I’ve ever met. Once called out of the blue because he thought I looked sad on TV…best pep talk of my life. RIP

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Beautiful. In solidarity with the incredible courage and resilience of the women of Iran.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

No one could make you break like Norm Macdonald. Hilarious and unique. Fuck cancer.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

The fight continues…fucking exhausting… #PassthePactact

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Hey all!! Just found out I’m woke… all this time I just thought I was good at history.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

No I didn't.

Newsweek

@Newsweek

2 years

Jon Stewart accuses J.K. Rowling of antisemitism in 'Harry Potter'

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Dear TV The problem w the Trump Town Hall wasn't platforming...or a fragile siloed audience unable to be exposed to newsworthy opinions antithetical to their own...the problem was an event that was clearly negotiated to Trump's approval. An ode to access.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

First they came for Mister Potato Head...and I said nothing...because it didn’t seem like something to get that upset about.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

I learned nothing from this town hall about Trump and his most ardent supporters I haven't known since 2016. I learned a lot about CNN.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 month

OMG!! I've been caught doing something not remotely similar to Trump! I guess all I need to do now is start a fraud college, steal classified docs, bankrupt casinos, pay hush money, grab pussies, discriminate in housing, cheat at golf and foment insurrection and you'll revere me!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

The perfect end to this perfect day

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Ah dearest Theodore. I do appreciate you and @JesseBWatters trying to rally the forces of misinformation to try and kill more vets…but not tonite sweetie. I’ll go slow cuz I know you only went to Princeton and Harvard…

Ted Cruz

@tedcruz

2 years

. @jonstewart you're wrong here. The bill gives a $400B blank check—separate from vets care—for unrelated pork that will supercharge inflation. I support the PACT Act & the $679.4B it would dedicate to vets. It’s ppl trying to use PACT to shovel more pork who are exploiting vets.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Jimmy Carter is one of the kindest most thoughtful people I’ve ever had the honor of meeting. He’s the best of us.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 months

Friends. After much reflection I have decided to enter the transfer portal for my last year of eligibility. Excited for the future! 5’7” ish 165 14.8 second 40 #Blessed #NILBABY #TDSnation #LFGM

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

I too, renounce SAG-AFTRA!!! You have let me down as well, done nothing...I will no longer abide your gross abdication of...oh wait...I’m just shitty at acting...never mind. President Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 months

Hello! A quick thanks for all the kind words and awesome pictures and stories of your special furballs. A reminder that social media isn't entirely a cesspool...just mostly. Here's a couple of shots from the meet cute that began our love affair. #Dipperisthebestboy @AnimalHaven

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Morning @SenToomey I'd rather be a pseudo celeb than pseudo Senator! Take your amendment vote at the same 60 threshold Veterans had to hit...Good luck capping and rationing care!!!!!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

Dasani is the Arby’s of water.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 months

Holy shit guys!!! Dipper is trending!! I’m bawling…again…thank you so much…

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

Windmills and Ted Cruz’s children are taking this country down a very dark path.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

Yes...I’ve come back up on you...much like one of your nasty nasty sandwiches....

Arby's

@Arbys

3 years

Hello old friend.... @jon_actual 👋

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

I believe compromise is the heart of unity. Progress demands concessions. So, to the right, in exchange for universal health care, I will allow all future space lasers to be non denominational. What comprises do you propose? Remember there are no bad ideas!!! #unity

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Looks like House Republicans are getting ready to break another promise to America’s Veterans…less than a year after making it!! Damn Hypocrites. #ProtectVeteransHealthCare

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

McConnell to Democrats: Don’t you dare go full McConnell!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Vote today…

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

But while I have your attention, could all of you (including news orgs) please ask @PatToomey why he is single-handedly stalling a veterans health care bill that passed w huge bipartisan support over a technicality? Asking for 3.5 million friends. Thanks!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

In 2021 I learned I might owe 2020 an apology. Good riddance to a shit show of a year.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

No one is playing politics with the Pact Act but you, Toomey and your band of merry monsters. Stop fucking around and pass the bill you already had passed. Thank you for coming to my TedCruz talk.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Not one of these stab vets in the back Senators should get to leave for the Summer til this shit is fixed. Not one.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Congratulations @SenToomey You successfully used the Byzantine Senate rules to keep sick veterans suffering!!!! Kudos! I’m sure you’ll celebrate by kicking a dog or punching a baby…or whatever terrible people do for fun!!!!!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

Thumbs down on minimum wage hike!!!! Way to stick it to “Big Don’t Make Enough Money”!!!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

🤞🙏

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

This isn’t a game. Real people’s lives hang in the balance…people that fought for your life. The PACT act you voted for, then inexplicably shot down is the same one Senators Tester and Moran posted online in MAY. Which you read cuz yer shmart.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

👀

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

If you watch only one video today….make it a monkey washing a cat…

The Problem With Jon Stewart

@TheProblem

1 year

State Sen. Nathan Dahm (R-OK) has penned several bills loosening gun restrictions, including the nation’s first anti-red flag law. He thinks these bills protect the Second Amendment – and that they make us safer. We think it's probably one or the other. Watch it on @AppleTVPlus .

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Show everyone where in the Pact Act is this 400 billion dollars blank check or unrelated spending that was added/snuck in…OR show section 805 c of the actual bill that explicitly states what the Toxic Exposure Fund can be used for. Next

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

Constitutional scholars agree!!! The Statute of Limitations on an attempted coup has always been 30 to 35 days!!!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Perhaps Roe can be salvaged if women reclassify their vaginas as holsters. #iykyk

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

This is what it’s come to. Veterans. The sick, the dying. Fed up. Pulling an all nighter to support their fellow vets. This is the hell their service has brought them.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Their business model is lying…and paying a bit of the profit they make from lying isn’t accountability… #FOX #lyingtax

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

CSPAN in the motha fuckin hooouuussseee!!!!

CSPAN

@cspan

1 year

Exchange between @jonstewart and @DepSecDef Kathleen Hicks on the defense budget: "I can't figure out how $850 billion to a department means that the rank and file still have to be on food stamps. To me, that's fucking corruption."

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Hello Media? 1030 AM. Senate Swamp. @CNN @FoxNews @MSNBC @ABCNewsPR @CBSNews @NBCNews Come hear the hurt, anger, frustration and disbelief from the veteran community. They’ve been betrayed.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 months

Sleep well Richard…I’ll try to take good care of our face.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

11 months

It’d be like if the escalator had just stopped halfway down…

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Congress did the right thing and DeGrom goes five beautiful innings?! #isthisreallife ??

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

The question is..How do you shame the shameless? @SenToomey @LeaderMcConnell #supportveterans #notthewarmachine or really..how do you shame the shameful?

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

RIP Gilbert. Opening for Gilbert Gottfried at Carolines and Princeton Catch was one of the great thrills of my early stand up life. He could leave you gasping for breath…just indescribably unusually hilarious…Damn.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Powerful yet somehow still aggrieved man-babies are my least favorite man-baby.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Convinced FoxNews would rather have a Civil War than lose even a smidge of market share…

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Rosie and Lee Roy Torres almost lost it all because of his toxic exposure in Balad...instead, they won, for all others who served. Love you guys.

The Problem With Jon Stewart

@TheProblem

2 years

Jon, with Rosie Torres, founder of @BurnPit360 , moments after the vote to pass the PACT Act. 📷: Mike Morones @moaa

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Today's Trump announcement is the closest we'll ever get to a concession speech. #Sad

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

So sad…am I…still me?

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Newsweek et al, may eat my ass.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

I owe Arbys an apology.

CNN

@CNN

2 years

To get people excited about pizza again, Papa Johns is offering a new spin on the classic, with Papa Bowls that are all topping — no crust.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

If only there was a gif of someone watching this with great anticipation whilst enjoying popcorn…

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Alright folks. Today is the day I spam your feed...maybe even thread that shit...Today the House passed the PACT act...with bipartisan support...We are one step closer to finally recognizing Toxic Exposures for Veterans in the right way.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Show everyone what was added/snuck into the Pact Act that YOU voted for on June 16, that made you change to No in July. Be specific. Or were you for the bill before you were against it Senator Kerry…I mean Cruz. Next

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

5 months

Goodnight Norman. Love you. Thanks for raising me.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

We promise good sir...we are no longer Fake News!!! An enemy of the people!!! Let us prove it to you!!! We are fair and good and will do this however you would like...just come back...

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

8 months

There is no finer legacy than having the right people hate you. Frauds, liars and hack ideologues. Discuss.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 months

And the pictures I’m seeing of all of your Dippers is giving me so much needed joy!!!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

As a nation we must always seek to root out the pubic hairs of corruption from the Coke can of our beloved Republic.

ProPublica

@propublica

1 year

For decades, Justice Clarence Thomas has secretly accepted luxury trips from a major Republican donor, newly obtained documents and interviews show. The extent and frequency of these apparent gifts to Thomas has no known precedent in modern SCOTUS history... 🧵👇

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

The PACT Act is a stand alone bill. The PACT Act has no spending unrelated to Veteran's Health and Benefits. There is no "Pork". There is no budget maneuver that then allows Dems to backfill w whatever they want...but as a registered Liberal Piece of Shit...don't take my word.

VFW National HQ

@VFWHQ

2 years

25 senators changed their votes and no longer support toxic-exposed veterans. No more delays! No more games! Tell your senators to #PASSTHEPACTACT !

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

See you on the other side Arbys… #RIPTwitter

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Please get him fired! Seriously, what the fuck! It needs to stop immediately, like tonight. It’s measurably hurting the company. The stock price is down, not a joke. #Murdoch #foxfiles #mediabiasagainstwhitepeople

Murdoch Acknowledges Fox News Hosts Endorsed Election Fraud Falsehoods (Published 2023)

Rupert Murdoch, the conservative media mogul, spoke under oath last month in a $1.6 billion defamation lawsuit against Fox by Dominion Voting Systems.

www.nytimes.com

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

@mtgreenee But we get to keep the name right?

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

It's Alive!!!!! @theproblem

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

You are such a huge part of his unparalleled legacy. Blessings to your family.

Karen Thee Russell

@Karen_Russell

2 years

@jonstewart Jon, Bill’s daughter here. Daddy ADORED you. He loved being on the show. Dad knew how important artists like you were in making change. I remember having the nerve to pull a prank on you 😬 and you and Daddy laughing about it! (I have a picture with you two but can’t find it 😢)

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

Hello 911? I’d like to report that the NY Mets are trying to kill me.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

It has come to my attention that I do not know how to make a “thread” My response to this accusation is a hearty “you are correct”

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

10 months

I’m supposed to talk to who about what now??

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

First Responders Last Priority!! Congress fails to close funding gap in World Trade Center Healthcare Program…but DOD gets an extra 850 billion!! Priorities!!! Please fix this on behalf of all those still hurting!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Sad news. Staff Sgt. Wesley Black passed away Sunday afternoon. Wes dedicated his last days to his wife Laura and son Ronan, family, friends and his Hartford Fire Dept. brethren... and fighting to make sure no other veterans would endure this struggle. Hero.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

The Trump/Fox axis isn't soft pedaling Putin's actions...they agree with them. They are political allies. They believe in the same things. To them, the American Left and most of Europe are the Evil Empire.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

3 years

@tedcruz Ummm...you remember last night?? Bravo.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Ummm…No thank you

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

PS Fuck the R caucus and their empty promise to our veterans.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Holy Rigorous Scrutiny Batman!!!

Mehdi Hasan

@mehdirhasan

1 year

Me: "It's just error after error, Matt?" @mtaibbi : "Well, that is an error." Watch me confront Matt Taibbi with multiple, unacknowledged, and glaring mistakes in his Twitter Files reporting. Full @MehdiHasanShow interview later tonight. Preview:

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

10 months

Boom

Rep. Katie Porter

@RepKatiePorter

10 months

Each year, lawmakers and defense lobbyists play the same game, pouring hundreds of billions into the Pentagon without scrutinizing every dollar—and it's taxpayers who lose. Today, I invited witnesses to play JeoparDoD, to win oversight for the American people.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 months

Hello! Check out @TheDailyShow tonight at 11. It’ll be more fun than a barrel of Putins!!!!

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Space lasers activate.

AG Todd Rokita

@AGToddRokita

2 years

Kanye’s message in this instance is fair and accurate, & regardless, he is entitled to his opinion. The media will steamroll anyone if they do not kowtow to their way of thinking.

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Hey!! @seanhannity @IngrahamAngle @TuckerCarlson @JesseBWatters AMERICAN VETERANS are sick and dying and need your help. You’re the only ones the R Senators will listen to. Help them! #PACTAct #supporttroopsnotwarmachine

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

2 years

Umm. Watching Bo Burnham. This fella is ridiculously talented…you all probably knew that already though…

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Jon Stewart

@jonstewart

1 year

Interested to see what cultural fires Fox will set to distract from being exposed as a fraud. #Foxfiles #Pronounwars New Hunter Biden mixtape in 5,4,3…

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