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Kuria Chronicles

@I_amShiti

86,264
Followers
1,909
Following
12,990
Media
192,593
Statuses

WhatsApp Call 0740328283 for Twitter Trends, product promotion and advertising services at affordable rates

Nairobi, Kenya
https://t.co/FpJbxR0q03
Joined September 2019
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
7 days
With a laptop/good phone and wifi,you don't need Remotask to earn in dollars everyday. Here is a more reliable way to earn. Check Thread:
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
That episode in Prison Break when everyone was chasing 5 million dollars but this guy was running to Mexico to prevent his girl from getting married. Biggest simp in TV history
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
So there's someone out here who eats this kinda babes, stresses them out and even cheats on them. Some men were born lucky out here damn!
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
I haven't seen a better survivor in a TV show than this guy
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
What's Antony doing man!! Just imagine if this was Greenwood
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
8 months
If a bodyguard can chew Marjorie,Steve Harvey's wife despite Harvey's riches and social status, then it is impossible to satisfy a woman on this earth.
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Who was the most loyal to their master?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Your woman should apologize to you when she catches you cheating on her with this one
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Most dangerous duo?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
This is one of the reasons men cheat
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
This kind of photos are very important when she finally decides to settle down for marriage. Dowry negotiating becomes much easier
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
KCSE class of 2015 ndo wameanza kazi sasa officially
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Btw what happened to him?Dude went dead silent
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Mbona wasilete bulb ya black, mtu akitaka kulala mchana anawasha giza inajaa kwa nyumba ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
As a man ,you should be smart enough to differentiate between A and B
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Male HRs when they meet female jobseekers
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
8 months
Steve Harvey's bodyguard and private chef on Marjorie while Harvey is on the podium preaching about making marriages work:
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
This is how English can easily kill you
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
We all have 24 hours a day. Samidoh anamanage kushughulikia mabibi wawili,watoto tano,achunge raia,aimbe mugithi na bado apate time ya kucheat. Wewe hata vyombo za last week hujaosha
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Mancity are rolling like the bright students in primary school who would have 350 marks na bado hujamwekea Maths, his favourite subject. Arsenal nao wako na 300 marks in all subjects na science aliekewa 88 badala ya 08 by mistake
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Pastor Ezekiel and Mackenzie hiring a lawyer instead of praying like Prime apostle Paul and Silas for the gates of jail to break open has got to be the biggest fraud case of all time
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
2 years
Huna iPhone,,huna OPPO,huna Samsung,,,,kwani unatumia nini wewe??
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Mtu anisaidie na screenshot ya simu iko 2% urgently please๐Ÿ™Help a brother out
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Handling a virgin during sex is one of the worst experiences a man goes through, but hardly talked about
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Nilimdanganya mi ni accountant na yeye akanishow anafanya Safaricom ๐Ÿ˜‚Leo nikiwa mjengo akakuja kuuza uji ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Women should be mature enough to understand that men are too busy and can easily forget such information
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
9 months
There are only 7 universities in Kenya: 1. The UON 2. Kenyatta University 3. JKUAT 4. Maseno University 5. Egerton University 6. Moi University 7. MMUST The rest are polytechnics.
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Kwa bedsitter ni socket ndio hua inaamua venye utapanga nyumba ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
9 months
How come Riggy G has never recognised this guy upto date? He perfectly mimics him.
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
98% of Billboards in this country and East Africa are owned by Magnate Ventures. Who owns this company?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Ni pick up line gani moto uneza tumia ukikaa kando ya mrembo kwa mat? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Nimetoa bra yake polepolee ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿคคnikasongesha panty yake side ya left ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹nikapata nafasi ya kuanika shati yangu ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Fuliza limit ya 500 since 2019 kwani Safaricom hawaniamini ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 months
Ukiwai enda base ya FIFA upate msee mnono amevaa crocs na miwani, alafu anachukua team ndogo, don't dare touch that pad!
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
2 years
Ocha nduthi ni cheap bana,,,unalipa 50 unapiga road trip hadi Lesotho
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Which Bible character would you wish to meet?? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Unaimba, "I'll live and die in Africa" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚as if uko na option ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
2 years
Sikuizi fans wa Chelsea hupost lineups but posting results is where they draw the line
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
How did Solomon have 700 wives and 300 concubines yet only had 3 sons? ๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
8 months
Rashford is selfish,Onana can't save anything,VAR are against us, cost of living is unbearable, Petrol prices have increased ๐Ÿ˜ญ
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
2 years
Can someone explain how we inherited Adam's sins and not Solomon's wealth?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Hakuna coochie hushinda ya single mothers buana. Unapewa na roho moja. Alafu hawawezi kubali kushikwa na madiseases..wakufe waachie nani their loving kid? So uko sure hauezi contact disease.
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Unaeza toa nini hapa?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 months
Mimi hushangaa huko USA ukicampaign time ya elections, unaweka nini kwa manifesto yako? Roads ziko fiti,maji iko sawa, health care facilities ziko sawa etc...so wao hupromise voters nini?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Unasupport Man United, uko na type C charger, umekula Ugali na mrenda asubuhi ndo ukakunywa chai, uko na fuliza limit ya 3kโ˜บ๏ธ Stress unatoa wapi jameni ๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
9 months
Kuna siku nimeargue na coolkids ati Samsung is a bigger brand than Apple nikaulizwa ka nishai ona IPhone kwa lipa mdogo mdogo. I had to shut up
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
9 months
Who is the best Dj in the country right now?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Utajiri ni scam, nimeenda kujaribu kusoma novel nikisip juice,, nko glass ya tatu na sijatoka introduction ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
P. K inaitwaje in full?? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Zuchu tangu uimbe sukari huku bei imepanda,, tunakuomba usiimbe Unga juu huku tutakufa njaaa ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Tarehe kama hii kupata mluhya Nairobi ni ngumu sana ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
Marrying a lazy wife and good in bed is very unexplainable to your family. When they complain unawaambia nyinyi hamjui huyu mtu buana
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
No character's death hurt me more than Ragnar Lothbrok. Really hit a nerve
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Nimejiangalia kwa kioo hii asubuhi wueeeehhh ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œcha muhimu niko na roho Safi ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 months
@FabrizioRomano Makes me ask,how many Egyptians has Klopp met to reach this conclusion?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Ni line gani hatari ya kumaliza argument?? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Unakimbiza kuku one hour alafu u napewa mguu,, childhood was scam bana๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
A mama mboga making 500 in a day lives a better life than an accountant making 35k in a month No school will ever teach you that!!
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Apart from kuita toothpaste zote Colgate,, what else identifies Kenyans?? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Ugali kwa kizungu inaitwa aje? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
8 months
Marjorie to the bodyguard when Steve Harvey is writing a book on marriage counselling:
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
2 years
A weekend without a man united match is equal to an international break End of Tweet
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Sasa tuache stori za Messi na Euro,turudi kwa zetu,,, ukipewa 1M uneza tembea uchi CBD?? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Fuliza inaitwaje in English juu nataka kuambia my friend in London anifulizie ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Sikumwacha kwa ubaya,, hata kama ni wewe uneza date dem anajua lineup ya Newcastle mpaka subs?? ๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Leo ni birthday ya mkuu ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜ŽHBD to me on this couples day
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Sa hizi Kuna gaidi ako single na kuna lele ako na madem watatu ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Leo usiku mna maliza sherehe by saa nne kama entertainment ya highschool ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Apart from kitunguu na nyanya,, ni bond gani ingine strong?? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Lakini a weekend without EPL should be illegal ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Btw mermaids hutoa wapi bra ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”hyo kitu imenisumbua akili miaka mingi ๐Ÿค’
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
The saddest story in 3 words?? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
A woman will sit you up this way to ask why you didn't tell her you are married ,,yet you simply forgot to
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
What if Judas kissed the wrong man and Jesus came 3 days later and people said he resurrected?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Ni nini ushai pata kwa nyumba ya mtu ukimvisit ukashangaa imefika aje hapo? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Wewe ni ndugu yangu wa toka nitoke,,, in English ni?? ๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
2 years
"Italeta jina gani" is a very important question
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@I_amShiti
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@I_amShiti
3 years
How did you meet your current bae? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
27 days
@_falsi1ke Your boss is not your friend. You're just a tool
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Ni Bible story gani unaona tulichezwa?? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Tumetusi wakamba fulani hapo tukienda kisii,, Sai tumepita Narok mara kumi ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Any words sweeter than, "I love you?"
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
In Africa, Math teachers are never sick and English teachers are always pregnant ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Nimeona sticker kwa mat ati "Songea mwenzako starehe ni kwa wheelchair" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”umeona gani? ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Lakini kusema tu ukweli watchman wa mortuary anachunga nini ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Mpesa balance yako sai inakuruhusu ukunywe pombe gani? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
If you want to know the true meaning of efficient communication, promise a woman money ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Busia ukisota ubaki na punch unaingia tu Uganda unachange inakua 18k unatesa ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
The newly completed business park in Githurai
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@I_amShiti
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@I_amShiti
3 years
Apart from DJ mwislamu,,,ni nini ingine huwezi ona? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Earphones zinaitwa aje kwa kiswahili? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Luku ni moto,luku ni Safi ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ”ฅ
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Apart from letter K kwa knife,, ni wapi kwingine waliwaste English? ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
1 year
@Thami4realNgozo On the contrary, he rarely wastes the chances
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Ushai potea hii nairobi hadi ukaanza kujipea hopes"aaah bora najua siwezi kuwa nimetoka Kenya "๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
"Hapo nyuma mnyamaze tunataka kusoma" Reply kama backbencher ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿ‘‡
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
9 months
Who is the most consistent content creator in the country right now?
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Another good morning to remind you maringo iambatane na sura ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
3 years
Nimeokota bangi nikapea polisi. Sahii niko kwa gari yao naenda kulipwa ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜Ž
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
7 months
Nimewithdraw 50 bob mara kumi kwa hii Mpesa shop leo.
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@I_amShiti
Kuria Chronicles
@I_amShiti
8 months
Mason Greenwood joining Getafe on deadline day is bigger news than Man City winning a treble!
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