Pikagi
Phil Chapman Profile Banner
Phil Chapman Profile
Phil Chapman

@IAmPhilChapman

5,640
Followers
874
Following
4,349
Media
18,365
Statuses

Comedian. Content creator. Linguistic discriminator. By replying to my tweets you consent to the possibility of being publicly ridiculed.

https://t.co/xopqTzo1Dp
Joined March 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
8 months
Getting booed offstage
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
32
36
908
Last Seen Profiles
Salman Alhubaishi

@SalmanAlhu60477

层层fetish

@cengpantyhose

المنتقم الكرار

@slmlbrwy101

Manufacturing Moves

@Networks_2015

TEAM_OREOOO

@TeamOreooo

Sadik Duudishe (SOMALI POLICE FORMER SPOKESPERSON)

@sadik_ali1

Cloud

@Cloud21478543

Brondong 69

@haikal_brondong

الواثق بالله

@alwath111

deprescribing.org

@deprescribing

probably unhinged CostsOneCent

@CostsOneCent

Mandar Datar

@naigavkar

دعم حسابات

@HsabatM61527

Audra Spalding

@audrav13

🇮🇩عارف الاصبحي🇲🇨

@aref_alasbh1

خالد الذيبه

@k80b2013

جلال اليمن ( إحتياط )

@D8GMAIL

VManiak Jilbab

@VmaniakJ

Dina Kay

@_DinaKay_

La Jose ϟ⚯͛ △⃒⃘

@lajoseBJ

Lee Frazier

@Leenut2k

Allegra Kackley

@alleg_kack

madinarmy

@madinarmy

Hillary Snively

@RWAsstPHCSD

Android_Orvvan

@Android_Orvvan

Mr. Deleeuw

@mr_deleeuw

Brian Ochieng’ Obama

@itsbrianochi

NeoScum

@NeoScum

Jack Nikogosian

@JackNikogosian

Plucky 🍵 🇵🇸 / Gintama (EP227)

@Richters_Spouse

Het universum zingt voor mij!

@TksforAllFish

DRAKE The Bookshop

@drakebookshop

Underwood Villa FC Reserves

@UVFCReserves

Christine Rousselle

@crousselle

Alicyn McLeod

@AtlantaTax

Maninder Sidhu

@MSidhuLiberal

@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Gordon Ramsay describing this apple pie to the lady who made it because she’s blind and was worried about how it looked is incredibly touching.
366
6K
50K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Imagine the fallout if Cher married Mark Noble.
98
1K
15K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
I have improved PMQs slightly #PMQs
181
2K
13K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
The great British we were on a break off
Tweet media one
25
474
10K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
8 years
My daughter is called 'Wednesday is bin day' so I won't forget.
Tweet media one
72
3K
6K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
This actually happens in Liverpool every time a new Conservative Prime Minister is announced.
@jordanpstev
Jordan Stevenson
@jordanpstev
2 years
38
406
3K
13
357
4K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Of course, in France, the storm is called Les Dennis.
31
430
3K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
5 years
I'm surprised Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide; although probably not as surprised as Jeffrey Epstein.
22
517
2K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
6 years
If I was in the police I'd identify every single one of those dickheads that trashed the Ikea and the ambulance then go pick them up on Wednesday avo and keep them in the cells so they can't watch the match. That'd be the real punishment.
35
306
2K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Lol
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
5
115
1K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Maradona racking them up like
Tweet media one
3
58
1K
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
What do you think of the news about Eamonn Holmes facing a 250k tax bill, Meghan?
28
150
956
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Happy coronation day
23
217
898
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
I thought all the coverage of the Queen was a little over the top. Filmed at @HWCCLiverpool
10
68
774
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 years
@exitthelemming @petermcgladdery they don't like it when you try to pay with notes from banks you've made up.
Tweet media one
13
110
632
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Lady tried to tell me what I wasn't allowed to joke about last night. Nobody tells El Chapo what to do
21
32
630
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Here's a little joke I wrote yesterday about Prince Andrew.
12
95
556
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 month
Are they sure the system isn’t just playing up?
Tweet media one
11
45
564
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
3 years
I actually really enjoyed Piers Corbyn’s video
18
89
516
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 months
Historical image of Dead Men Talking
@historianimage
Historian Image
@historianimage
2 years
Europe's tallest, fattest, and smallest man playing cards, 1913.
Tweet media one
3
18
64
9
22
506
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Told the waitress I've got hay fever and I don't like immigrants, but she wasn't arsed.
Tweet media one
0
25
494
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Scumbags should be enforcing the law not going to parties
@GranadaReports
ITV Granada Reports
@GranadaReports
4 years
Police in Greater Manchester attended almost 500 house parties last weekend.
Tweet media one
216
267
666
5
90
414
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Anyone else spot this plane flying over Aintree?
11
16
418
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
9 months
Made the news already
Tweet media one
@FreddyQuinne
Freddy Quinne
@FreddyQuinne
9 months
Deadline day transfer! After a week of intense negotiations Freddy Quinne is off to Hospital FC - HERE WE GOOOO
Tweet media one
117
3
265
5
10
408
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Tom Hanks never has a great time travelling.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
11
96
393
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
3 years
I believe the correct term is 'vegans'
Tweet media one
7
35
376
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Added a soundtrack to this doorbell footage
5
73
359
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Lovely that they've painted this warehouse in Warrington in solidarity with Ukraine.
Tweet media one
6
33
348
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
8 years
MAKE your Toblerone a retro Toblerone by adding some green triangles to it. @TwopTwips
Tweet media one
7
238
335
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 months
That's a lot of beak
@BBCLookNorth
BBC Yorkshire
@BBCLookNorth
7 months
Gang jailed for £1bn cocaine haul hidden in frozen chicken boxes
5
1
9
7
14
338
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
5 years
Boris is lying #LeadersDebate
3
115
307
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
6 years
I've just accidentally submitted 8 separate mp3s of me doing an impression of Harold Bishop from #Neighbours to the BBC Writers Room instead of emailing them to myself. How's your Monday going?
10
42
306
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Pleased to announce I have achieved my lifelong dream that I've had since last Wednesday of becoming a German Techno artist.
33
128
309
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Mines way more realistic
Tweet media one
@thatfrood
Devon Hardware’s Wife
@thatfrood
1 year
A traditional dish with a personal touch. See our recipe for authentic King’s Hand
Tweet media one
295
4K
24K
0
8
311
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
It's what he would have wanted
9
33
295
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
9 months
Freddy in space
15
17
297
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
6 years
He's accidentally tweeted this instead of sending it to his family's WhatsApp group
2
56
277
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
What an introduction I got on Five Live
17
22
277
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Matt Hancock trying to bring his partner to orgasm
6
61
272
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
11 months
Over in Belfast for the day. These Just Stop Oil protests are a bit full on.
Tweet media one
1
17
264
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Swindler's Lift
@BBCNews
BBC News (UK)
@BBCNews
2 years
Levelling Up Secretary Michael Gove trapped in BBC lift for around 30 minutes
476
272
2K
4
26
256
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
I met my intellectual match in Widnes on Friday.
2
14
250
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
So this happened last night @HWCCLiverpool
8
8
241
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
No
Tweet media one
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Just seen George Rigden in the Green Flag advert. Might have to change their name to Red Flag.
0
2
35
14
10
237
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Used to be that Philip Schofield would pay more than your energy bills as long as you didn't tell his wife.
6
24
230
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
3 years
I’ve had a go
@SkyNews
Sky News
@SkyNews
3 years
Macaulay Culkin backs calls for Donald Trump to be cut from Home Alone 2
642
388
3K
9
42
233
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 years
Ofsted don’t fuck around do they.
Tweet media one
3
54
230
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
11 months
New Jet2 ad looks 🔥
2
37
232
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
6 years
Just had some Trick or Treaters. Bit early. Bit old too. Dressed as bailiffs - not too happy with Haribos either. They’re still out there.
0
49
219
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Wanna feel old? This is what the sun from Teletubbies looks like now
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
0
45
218
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
He leaves behind his beloved wife and four pesky kids.
Tweet media one
6
42
196
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 years
Tory-DUP deal is like when your mum never had money for ice cream but still sent you to the shop to get cigs.
4
120
197
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Deleted everyone on my FB who sided with the government today. I might live in a bubble but it's my bubble and I've decided there's a no cunts rule.
7
6
199
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
First time he's put his hand in his pocket for anything
@Tatlermagazine
Tatler
@Tatlermagazine
1 year
The first portrait of King Charles III since the start of his reign has been unveiled
Tweet media one
368
188
3K
3
3
199
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
3 years
Covid Marshalls
5
37
196
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 years
JEREMY CORBYN. I'd avoid bacon sandwiches for the next few weeks, if I was you. @TwopTwips
4
74
176
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Maybe. Doubt it though
3
34
187
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Finally got round to decorating the house for the jubilee. Gone with a Prince Andrew theme
Tweet media one
3
12
172
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Imagine drinking so infrequently you have to Google the Offy.
Tweet media one
2
14
165
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
9 months
Freddy's fine he's just sent me this
Tweet media one
7
6
162
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
5 years
So many people harping on about David Attenborough managing to silence the entire crowd at Glastonbury. Barely a mention when I did the same at Kendal Calling comedy tent in 2011.
3
3
155
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Man: It's called a defibrillator. Woman: I know, I'm a doctor. I used it to.... Man: It delivers a dose of electric current to the heart.
Tweet media one
5
21
153
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
No 10 have released footage from the party on December 18th, insisting Boris Johnson was home alone the whole time
2
34
154
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
8 years
So it's ok for Tesco to sell produce from pretend farms... yet when I try to pay with this money, I'm "fraudulent"
Tweet media one
4
139
152
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
The Grand National Scandal 2022
5
44
147
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
@DeadMenTalkPod I remember seeing the music video on VH1
14
20
144
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 years
Just had some Trick or Treaters. Bit early. Bit old too. Dressed as bailiffs - not too happy with Haribos either. They’re still out there.
1
47
129
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
@hwgreenroompod @JamieHComedy @tonycarroll14 Just googled the music video and you are not gonna believe this
6
10
138
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
As we approach the finale, some of you may remember I used to produce a clip show called Naughty Neighbours. Here's a thread 🧵of some of my fave gags. It all began with simply making them sound like they were swearing #neighboursfinale
4
29
137
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 months
Freddy Quinne has just called someone a fat cunt at this gig.
20
3
134
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
5 years
FOOL your followers into thinking Twitter is down as well by tweeting this picture. @TwopTwips
Tweet media one
5
44
129
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Couldn't have picked a worse week to start my submarine tour company
5
11
133
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
6 years
Just thinking about that time Theresa May called an election.
Tweet media one
0
38
127
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
6 years
Headline of the day.
Tweet media one
2
44
122
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
A nonce
Tweet media one
3
1
122
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
I didn't hear you swearing allegiance
Tweet media one
3
26
123
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
3 years
Results are conclusive
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
4
21
123
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 years
MAKE an egg hunt more enjoyable by having your children egg Jeremy Hunt, instead of searching for chocolate. @TwopTwips
8
92
118
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
RIP June Brown I have lit a candle in your honour
Tweet media one
0
7
121
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
6 years
Can't believe they've gone through and back-dated these for all The Apprentice contestants. #TheApprentice
Tweet media one
6
43
111
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
8 years
RIP Ray Tomlinson, the inventor of email. What a life. I take my @ off to him.
3
94
114
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
2 years
Great time recording @Haveawordpod this avo
Tweet media one
4
2
121
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 months
Called it
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
8 years
#KloppOut
0
0
0
3
4
118
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
5 years
"Feel like pure shite just want to kill poor people again"
Tweet media one
1
15
110
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
The second wave
5
14
114
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
3 months
@FreddyQuinne
Tweet media one
2
1
116
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
3 years
Margaret Keenan going to sleep tonight
3
35
108
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
7 years
🎤You've been hit by.... you've been stuck by... a war criminal.🎤
Tweet media one
0
40
108
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
Great start to the show in St Helens last night
0
15
109
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
8 months
The local kebab shop is on the brink of bankruptcy
@FreddyQuinne
Freddy Quinne
@FreddyQuinne
8 months
One month of no alcohol, no coffee and no takeaways. Kill me now.
24
1
138
2
0
109
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
The absolute placement of these tweets @marknelsoncomic @FreddyQuinne
Tweet media one
2
4
106
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 years
Pleased to announce I am now the head commentator at Doncaster
12
61
102
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
I knew there'd be a paedophile with Parkinson's in my mentions eventually
@DanielHeselden
Daniel heselden
@DanielHeselden
1 year
@IAmPhilChapman About as funny as a fire in an orphanage you
5
0
2
3
2
104
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
They don't call El Chapo the rapid fire king for nothing
0
16
100
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
8 years
Get your Conservative Valentine's cards right here. No cost as they're completely worthless.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
2
184
96
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
4 months
Loads do the same thanks to your party pal
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
2
20
103
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
9 years
Might be a good idea to make an appointment with your GP in the next couple weeks so you can say goodbye properly #GE02015
3
100
99
@IAmPhilChapman
Phil Chapman
@IAmPhilChapman
1 year
LardBaby
@dannymccomedy
Danny Mcloughlin
@dannymccomedy
1 year
@FreddyQuinne smashing @AlexandersLive here. And he’s just told me he wants to donate his fee to the @TrussellTrust A true man of principle
Tweet media one
6
16
150
0
0
100