Billy McMorris Profile Banner
Billy McMorris Profile
Billy McMorris

@FBillMcMorris

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Followers
4,762
Following
445
Media
4,275
Statuses

Contributing Editor @TheSpectator . Non-Contributor @Tsmcdiez 's home. Academic Director @NJC_Yaf . Tweets dictated but not bread. Not the FBI

Joined June 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
I've never told this to anyone before, but here goes. Picture me, an 8 year old kid. Now picture Norm MacDonald: top of the world. On SNL, already achieving legend status on Weekend Update No reason he should care about some 2nd grader, right? Well listen, because (1/8)
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
(8/8) 2nd grader was blushing, why his wrist grew purple as his dad's grip grew tighter as Dad apologized to SNL stars for his son's ignorance. Only Norm saw what was going on. He kneeled down & said "Say kid, someday when I die, you have my permission to make it all about you"
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
We are dealing with the first plague in history that doesn't target children. Instead of being grateful the people in charge insist we not notice.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
A couple hundred thousand small businesses.
@oneunderscore__
Ben Collins
2 years
I am begging you, from the bottom of my heart, to tell me what you think is closed.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
UPDATE: Threatening judges is bad again
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
You can relax, Jeff. It's not like there's some sort of system in the U.S. that allows someone to be killed just because they're a few months shy of an estimated due date.
@JeffreyToobin
Jeffrey Toobin
3 years
I was premature by a few months
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
They were tossing terminally Ill people off of organ transplant lists and now call for mercy
@just_mindy
Just Mindy 🐊
2 years
This video is in response to the @TheAtlantic article about β€œpandemic amnesty” and it’s a much watch. This man is so right on.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
(3/8) jumped at the chance to get tickets. He explained that what we were going to may not mean much to me now. But some day, I'd look back and thank God that I had been able to be in that audience. Looking back today, I now know exactly what he meant.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
I spent a decade in far right media. The way Ketanji Jackson is being treated is both predictable and sad. A thread
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Poll workers demanded I mask up in order to vote. At no point did they ask to see my face to see if it matched the ID. Seems legit #VAgov
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
"What did you have for dinner?" You, A Manliness Expert: 32 ounces of steak, 224 grams of protein! Brussel sprouts, no seed oil. 3 bananas to help w/ recovery from deadlifts I did in the mirror, the only art in my 1BR! Me: 2 kids left pasta in their dishes. Ate it with my hands
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
(2/8) Norm was the type to care. My father took me into midtown Manhattan because he met a guy at a bar who said he worked at NBC and could easily get tickets to SNL. I was in 2nd grade, not even old enough to stay up to watch SNL. But the second my father had an in he
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
(7/8) the Hell out of my dad. At one point Tim Meadows came up all ready to sign an autograph and I sat there obviously indifferent to who he wasβ€”you could see him give my dad the side eye as he walked in. Only one personβ€”you can guess whoβ€”grasped why this awkward, tooth-less
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
(5/8) about. Back then once you got inside for the tapingβ€”this was pre-9/11β€”30 Rock was relatively open. You could catch the stars in the hallways. It was up to my dad to spot them since again I wouldn't have known an SNL bigshot from Adam. This enraged
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
(6/8) My dad. Every time he pointed to an SNL celebrity, the most famous people on the planet, I met his enthusiasm with a blank stare. You could see his face getting redder, especially when the SNL stars were so gracious. My ignorance looked like insolence and it bothered the
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
(4/8) We showed up at 30 Rockβ€”like I knew the addressβ€”and I had butterflies in my stomach. I don't know why they were there. Had no idea what I was experiencing. I just knew that something big was going to happen even if I had no clue what it was I was supposed to be nervous
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
We have lost just as many 5-11 year olds to suicide as we have to COVID, per the CDC.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
4 months
Pray in front of an abortion clinic and the DOJ seeks 11 years, which as we all know is 5x worse than spying for the CCP
@RLHeinrichs
Rebeccah Heinrichs
4 months
A little more than two years and a small fine *for stealing US secrets and giving them to the PRC*. Shocking.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
The only accurate word in this tweet is "she"
@NBCNews
NBC News
3 years
The scientist who said she was fired by Gov. DeSantis for refusing to censor Florida's Covid-19 numbers says she’s hoping to unseat another high-profile Republican politician in the state β€” Rep. Gaetz.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Because Gorsuch decreed that school districts that don't hire him will have to pay seven-figure discrimination settlements
@stclairashley
Ashley St. Clair
3 years
Why is a kindergarten teacher calling 5 year olds bigots & posting topless provocative photos?
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Your employer doesn't want to be your baby daddy. It wants to be the deadbeat who drives you to the clinic and reassures himself that he is noble by going Dutch on the abortion
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
I try not to be that *dad* on social media, but my daughter just got a FULL scholarship to infantry school! She didn't even apply!
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
People are wearing masks during their suicide attempts
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Suicide rate by age: 5-11 Pre-COVID: 0.17/100,000 12-17: 5.18/100,000 That's a 3,000 percent jump as kids age. Now consider that suicides among 5-11 year olds tripled during lockdowns.
@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
We have lost just as many 5-11 year olds to suicide as we have to COVID, per the CDC.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
One year ago today, history’s greatest pure stand-up was defeated by cancer. Here are some feeble words in tribute to Norm Macdonald
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Since interrupting public officials is now domestic terrorism Abbott should borrow from the Dem Playbook: Report Beto to the DOJ's National Security Division. Then leak to the press that the FBI is investigating Beto for terrorism.
@kylegriffin1
Kyle Griffin
2 years
Beto O'Rourke just confronted Republican Greg Abbott during his press conference on the mass shooting, saying, "This is on you until you choose to do something."
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Look, I'm a reasonable conservative, not some rightwing nut job. These culture war games must end. It's not KBJ's fault that prosecutors didn't think to bring in a biologist to explain to the court that raping a child is wrong!
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Weird, all of a sudden the "Latinx" label disappears
@latimes
Los Angeles Times
2 years
The two largest racial bias cases brought by the federal government in California involve Inland Empire warehouses, where Black workers accused Latino coworkers and supervisors of widespread abuse.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
This is the most haunting headline I've ever read.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
COVID has forced me to reevaluate my priors. I always thought elite secularism's beef with Christianity was the morality; turns out it was the absence of purification rituals.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
No wonder the Taliban hacked her blog and wrote all the stuff about gay people for years on end.
@JoyAnnReid
Nope.
3 years
This is the real-life Handmaid's Tale. A true cautionary tale for the U.S., which has our own far religious right dreaming of a theocracy that would impose a particular brand of Christianity, drive women from the workforce and solely into childbirth, and control all politics.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
4 months
Biden now convinced his son died on D-Day but other than that he’s fine.
@RNCResearch
RNC Research
4 months
A VERY confused Joe Biden starts absolutely SCREAMING as he recounts the recycled "suckers and losers" hoax β€” slurring the entire way. The man is NOT well. 😳
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
"ISIS K, the archenemy of the Taliban...who were freed from that prison" President Biden Who does he think opened the prison gates?
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
People with security clearances also thought there was a pee tape, that a man who castrates himself is a woman, and that Iraq had WMDs. Such lunatics don't need the internet; they have the NYT.
@maggieNYT
Maggie Haberman
2 years
Officials with security clearances were sending internet conspiracy theories to senior officials across government, asking them to investigate
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
@literaryeric Love the emotional manipulation of this chestnut. Why not say β€œit’s me, Eric, in the building or 25 fetuses? Pick one” At least then we can have fun in the replies.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right to mandate that children learn it as gospel
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Michelangelo did the Pieta at 23... Good golly
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Our diplomatic corps insisted we were waging a hearts and minds campaign and thought a George Floyd mural would help? They are now mad the Taliban painted over it.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Sonia Sotomayor discussing the brain dead
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
1 month
Victory Thank you @Airbnb
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
1 month
lol an Airbnb my family stayed at is trying to shake us down for "additional cleaning" What does $500 in damages look like? Behold
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Oh, well that's disappointing Charlotte. Sorry to say you will have to join me on the sidelines of this debate
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@cmclymer
Charlotte Clymer πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦
2 years
I will never need an abortion because I cannot get pregnant. I don't have a uterus, and I have been clear about that. Back to the original point: why do you believe 10 year-old girls should be forced to give birth after they've been raped?
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
1 year
Mysteriously someone bet $10 million on 4 missed PATs…
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
23 days
Good to see the FBI finally doing something in response to campus anarchy
@JoshuaPHilll
Read Let This Radicalize You
23 days
White supremacists are now marching in Charleston, West Virginia. With no police in sight.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
21 days
Odds getting dealt 4 of a Kind: 0.168%. @tsmcdiez plays with a loaded deck. Meet Katherine Matilda McMorris
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
8 months
In all fairness, Biden thinks he is shaking hands with Yasser Arafat
@RNCResearch
RNC Research
8 months
Biden, who previously said he'd make Saudi Arabia "the pariah that they are," shares a handshake and a smile with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman at the G20 Summit
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Honor your father and mother; they didn't become lame until you came around. Ask anyone.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
11 months
This tweet lacks important context: The 203rd ranked man only beat Venus and Serena bc he was on PEDs* at the time (*he was smoking and drinking between sets)
@greg_price11
Greg Price
11 months
Dem witness: "There's been this news article about men that think they can beat Serena Williams in tennis. And it's just not the case. She is stronger than them." @Riley_Gaines_ : "Both Serena and Venus lost to the 203rd ranked male tennis player."
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
"What's your daily routine?" You, A Manliness Expert: I NEVER SKIP LEG DAY. 80 squats, 1.5 body weight; play around with 50 kg kettlebell (Real men use the metric system). Steam room, massage, domination Me: I think they had school; Idk I drove them somewhere. Then I had coffee
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
"I'm a dystopia reporter" What does that mean? "So say the government partners with corporations to force workers to take a newly-minted, expensive pharmaceutical..." Holy moly, that sounds "...I call it good news"
@oneunderscore__
Ben Collins
3 years
Quick thread: There is, finally, good news from the anti-vaccine beat. It’s wrapped in some bad news. The good: Mandates are working. Anti-vaxxers are exhausted, giving in and getting the shot. The bad: They’re running home to β€œdetox” in weird ways, hoping to β€œundo” it.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Can someone build a bot that automatically responds to every Ben tweet with the name of a business that was driven into extinction while he reported on how you were a neo-Nazi if you didn't subscribe to AmazonPrime/OnlyFans and cheer the billionaire Space Race
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Lenin: The Capitalists will sell us the rope with which we will hang them. Capitalists: We will pay our workers bonuses to kill their babies Lenin: Holy sh...
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
1 year
@hemingquay β€œYou need to teach that kid some limits” β€”Fully grown woman who thinks she can carry a Pomeranian into any establishment
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
"What motivates you?" You, A Manliness Expert: The same thing that motivated men since time immemorial: building glamor muscles through lifting weights/shooting guns in the desert so I can attract sterilized IG models Me: These kids probably need food and shelter.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Founder of a company called "Kid Snips" is on the board of Planned Parenthood of Illinois. A bit on the nose if you ask me
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
It goes w/o saying that dads don't have a favorite kid. But my toddler bit the neighbor's cat after it tried to scratch her, so that first sentence is a complete lie.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
1 year
Only Harris would think it’s a good idea to try to stealth edit the only part of the Declaration everyone knows
@JerryDunleavy
Jerry Dunleavy πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ
1 year
Here is Vice President Kamala Harris omitting the inalienable right to life when referencing the Declaration of Independence in defense of Roe v. Wade.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
1 month
lol an Airbnb my family stayed at is trying to shake us down for "additional cleaning" What does $500 in damages look like? Behold
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
We are devastated by TBD McMorris's appalling use of a known white supremacist hand gesture. There is no excuse for such callous bigotry. We've been reading @DrIbram 's children's book aloud every night since the ultrasound and hope s/he will recognize #HateHasNoHomeHere
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
"If you get a tattoo, I won't let you smoke." In my 11 year career as a dad I've issued many threats, but this one is hands down the best.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Opening a can of soda is the closest Liz has come to lifting a finger for the pro-life cause, so we're making progress
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Curious to see how @UjuAnya opens this job interview...
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Breathalyzer makers and MADD have spent $1 million+ lobbying to require BAC monitors in all new cars. Senate has now tucked the mandate into the Infrastructure Bill via @SaysSimonson @jackmcv_
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
We are now reviewing tape for any "F*** Joe Biden/Anthony Fauci/Science" chants at the WNBA game that may have been instigated by maskless @atrupar
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Which would only invite more questions about how KBJ could go so soft on child sex rapists. Bravo to KBJ for shutting down reactionaries like a true #GirlBoss
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
New DOD policy will include abortions in confirmed kill counts in an effort to enhance female promotions
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
1 year
β€œI believe people are inherently good inside…” right after you brag about vacuuming out the person who was inside so you could be in commercials everyone fast forwards through
@PDXFato
John Ford
1 year
Before social media, celebrities could just be who you imagined they could be. Looks like the AT&T commercial girl is full of false virtue.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
4 months
You should see the tunnel system they have under Climate Action Street
@UN_Women
UN Women
3 years
Can you imagine a 🌍 were gender equality is real? We did! And we think it's a pretty good blueprint for rebuilding in 2021. Check it out πŸ‘‰
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Infants are hilarious. Hand them anything--stuffy, blanket, rock hammer, etc--and their 1st instinct is to bite it. Hand them food and all of a sudden they're like, "this must be a hat"
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
This is the most fucked up sentence ever written
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
The second Ketanji Brown Jackson said, "a woman is an adult human female," fascists would use it to point out that KBJ is aware there's a distinction between minors and adults
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
I'm humbled and honored by all the attention this is getting; to the TV bookers flooding my DMs, please contact my agent. Giannaslog(@) I will do my best to accommodate!
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Oh so that's why you don't use a contraction for "who are"...
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
The FBI cited #DraftOurDaughters in a criminal investigation into election misinformation. House Democrats are about to make it a reality through the defense bill
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Ketanji Brown Jackson should be applauded for not lowering herself to the far right's political "gotcha" games.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
How crazy has COVID made the world? A Canadian is now a frontrunner for @FreeBeacon MOTY
@WestwoodParking
Mr Smith
3 years
Had a video ever aged so well in modern history? @chrissaccoccia1
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
The far right perceives Judge Brown's reticence to define "woman" as some radical departure from reality. This is a game the radical right has effectively deployed for years
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Kinda messed up that Jon Gruden got fired for quoting Ruth Bader Ginsburg
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
4 months
People went to federal prison for closing just 2 lanes of a local exit to the George Washington Bridge. Media even added a β€œGate” to it, so you’d know what they did threatened Democracy, public safety and apple pie. Real mystery why this isn’t being treated like β€œBridgegate”
@EndWokeness
End Wokeness
4 months
BREAKING: Free Palestine mobs just shut the three major bridges going in & out of NYC + the Holland Tunnel.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
One week after Twitter promoted an article trumpeting the "profound peace" of assisted suicide, the AP shows the reality of Canada's euthanasia regime h/t @jbarro
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 months
Humiliation assumes a sense of shame. No one has faced professional censure of any sort in the fight against Trump no matter how much they debased themselves. Quite the opposite. Losing 9-0 at SCOTUS won't hurt book deals or speakers circuit fees one bit.
@julie_kelly2
Julie Kelly πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ
3 months
It is clear SCOTUS' decision will not even be close. And it will represent a TOTAL HUMILIATION to so many "legal experts" and "historians" who filed amicus briefs to defend Colorado's actions.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
If Ketanji Brown Jackson responded to Blackburn by doing something as simple as quoting the dictionary, the GOP would still attack her.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
1 year
@JoelBrownMD Daryl Davis has a good roadmap
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
"Say kid, if people attach themselves to my memory, are you going to use it for yourself or maybe some Marine's widow and the baby he'll never meet?" Fine, Norm. If you insist on calling out a 2nd grader...
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Help @tsmcdiez and I settle a disagreement on how best to announce the birth of Gianna Quintero McMorris
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Tell me she's not going to the National Catholic Prayer Breakfast tomorrow bc one of us would have to change
@jeneps
Jennifer Epstein
3 years
. @aoc is at the Met Gala. The back of her dress reads "TAX THE RICH."
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Joe Biden lists divorce as a social ill. Can't recall the last public official I've hears talk this way
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
2 years
Reminder: it is the last day of the All Souls indulgence. Go say a prayer in any cemetary you pass by today.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
Going out on a limb here, but when the firefighters chanted "U-S-A" at Ground Zero, they didn't have, "we're gonna blow up 7 random Afghan kids and their aid worker family" in mind.
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
'Need to settle your nerves? Marathon Cigarettes: When your mental health needs to go the distance' ht @oldstocky
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 years
One gets the feeling that Masks will become permanent, for the service sector. It's the new polyester tux/apron
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@FBillMcMorris
Billy McMorris
3 months
Exactly how the McMorris Family is going to look Palm Sunday 2030
@father_rmv
Father V
3 months
Husband and wife with their eleven children on Palm Sunday 1954.
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