Esther Perel @EstherPerel Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Esther Perel

@EstherPerel

135,568

Followers

723

Following

758

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Exploring modern relationships. Author of #MatingInCaptivity and #TheStateOfAffairsBook . Host of #WhereShouldWeBegin and #HowsWorkPodcast .

New York City

https://t.co/3RquaL6dk6

Joined June 2011

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

10 months

Where Should We Begin? The Podcast is BACK. I am thrilled to be in collaboration with @voxmedia and @ApplePodcasts to bring you new episodes every Monday and offer exclusive bonus content through subscriptions for the very first time via the link below!

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

7 months

Be careful not to lose your humanity.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

4 years

I think, in general, when people live in acute stress, either the cracks in their relationship will be amplified or the light that shines through the cracks will be amplified. You get an amplification of the best and of the worst. @NewYorker ⬇️

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“This Is What Happens to Couples Under Stress”: An Interview with Esther Perel

The therapist, author, and podcast host offers wisdom on navigating romantic relationships under quarantine.

www.newyorker.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

2 months

Expectations are resentments in the making.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain." -James Baldwin

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

If the last thing you touch before you sleep and the first thing you touch when you wake is your phone — change it.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

8 years

Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” ― @BreneBrown

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

From Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

7 years

A great relationship is an imperfect one.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

Make sure to always tell your friends and family how important they are in your lives. Today, I challenge each of you to make a meaningful connection with someone you love. Look out for one another.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

7 years

Love is a verb. Not a permanent state of enthusiasm.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source.” —Anaïs Nin

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

It's so easy to focus on what's missing in our partner and be critical. It's easy to think that if you were different, my life would be better, rather than sometimes to switch it around and think if I was different, my life would be better.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"I will be generous with my love today. I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater." - Steve Maraboli

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

4 months

Asking better questions is the key to creating closeness.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

“I will be generous with my love today. I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.” -Steve Maraboli

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

3 years

"He doesn’t listen to me. He doesn’t respect me. And Esther Perel says it takes 2 people to create a pattern, but only 1 to change it. I am that change."

@TheTrentCrimm

Trent Crimm, Independent

3 years

- @TheTrentCrimm , The Independent - Okay, #TedLasso fans… call for nominations. Which were your favourite quotes in S2.E6? #LassoMadness 🗣

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

8 years

A relationship grows when we learn to ask our partner for things we need by saying “I would like“, rather than criticize with “you never”.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

1 year

To whom do you owe a thank you? This question often evokes a heartfelt moment—we don't always take the time to thank those closest to us for the small things, for the daily contributions, for being in our lives. Who can you thank for how they've shown up in your life?

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

2 years

We are always balancing the great paradox of love: the erotic and the domestic. Security and adventure. The beauty of a commitment is it offers us the luxury of time to explore both poles. What’s your experience with balancing these poles in longterm relationship?

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

9 months

I recently sat down with @emrata on her podcast, High Low. We delve into the deep-seated dynamics of relationships, examining power, desire, and the taboo realm of pornography. Join us as we explore the motivations behind infidelity and more.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

3 years

My dear friend @brenebrown and I enjoyed a discussion about paradox, storytelling, comparative suffering, and the patterns we fall into in relationships. Click to listen!

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"You gain strength, courage & confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - E. R.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

Instead of looking for a person who checks all the boxes, focus on a person with whom you can imagine yourself writing a story with that entails edits and revisions.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

3 years

The realization that our loved ones are forever elusive should jolt us out of complacency, in the most positive sense. There is freedom in knowing that our relationships must continue to grow in order to thrive, and we must make the endeavors to help them grow.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 months

How often does the question “How are you?” really lead to a meaningful conversation? And how do we spark conversations that bring us closer together—instead of driving us apart? I've been reflecting a lot on what makes a good question—one that goes beyond the usual small talk. I…

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

3 years

Listening is a fundamental ingredient in relational intelligence. Every time we practice listening first, we become a better partner, friend, lover, or coworker. Love is, after all, an exercise in selective perception. How are you becoming a better listener?

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

"The grass is greener where you water it." -Neil Barringham

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

I encourage you to end relationships respectfully and conclusively, however brief they may be. Act with kindness and integrity. This allows both people to enter into their next relationship with a clear head, rather than filled with insecurity.

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From Esther Perel's Blog - Relationship Accountability

Rejection has always been a part of the relationship landscape. But are the new trends of ghosting, icing and simmering increasing our acceptance of ambiguous ends?

www.estherperel.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

The expectation that one person will satisfy all of our many emotional, physical, and spiritual needs is a tall order. Instead of looking for a person who checks all the boxes, focus on a person with whom you can imagine yourself writing a story with.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 months

There is perhaps no other time of year in which the pleasure and pain of our memories are front and center—in which we experience such ambivalence about our own sense of joy. Gifts fill beneath the tree and light shines from the windows of our homes, but many of our hearts feel…

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

What are you doing for others? #MLKDay

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"The grass is greener where you water it." -Neil Barringham #QuoteOfTheDay

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"For [erotically intelligent couples], love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life: time. Marriage is not the end of their romance, it's the beginning." #MatingInCaptivity

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

2 years

I had the pleasure of joining @GlennonDoyle , @AbbyWambach , and Amanda on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast. In part 1, released today, we talk about criticism, the fight for being “right,” and conflict resolution. Give it a listen through the link:

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‎We Can Do Hard Things: 42. ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ALIVE? with Esther Perel on Apple Podcasts

‎Show We Can Do Hard Things, Ep 42. ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ALIVE? with Esther Perel - Nov 8, 2021

podcasts.apple.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

3 years

I'm finally able to share my big secret. I have created a card game! ✨ Introducing #WhereShouldWeBegin - A Game of Stories. Available now for preorder:

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

I live with one perennial truth: the quality of your relationships is what determines the quality of your life. (via @sxsw )

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“Modern man thinks he loses something — time — when he does not do things quickly; yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains except kill it.” -Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving 92

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

1 year

At SXSW last month, I spoke on the Other AI: Artificial Intimacy in a talk that took me deep into the exploration of modern day relating in an increasingly more digital and arguably less personal world. Visit the link below to see the full talk.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

My @TEDTalks Rethinking Infidelity has passed the 10 million views mark! With the right framing, difficult conversations become easier.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

3 years

Instead of asking whether we’ve found the right person, ask if you're being the right person. Love is an ongoing co-creation, and it takes everyone in the relationship to sustain and grow it.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

9 months

"The challenge for modern couples lies in reconciling the need for what’s safe and predictable with the wish to pursue what’s exciting, mysterious, and awe-inspiring.” - Mating in Captivity

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"There is nothing more truly artistic than to to love people." - Vincent Van Gogh"

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

I live with one perennial truth: the quality of your relationships is what determines the quality of your life. #SXSW2018

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Esther Perel | Modern Love and Relationships | SXSW 2018

Relationships are going through a complex cultural shift. Expectations on intimate partnerships are at an all-time high, yet we lack the tools and resources ...

www.youtube.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

When you’re in conflict, before you disagree, try telling the person you’re speaking with what you heard them say. You don’t have to agree, but you do have to acknowledge that there’s another person who experiences the event very differently from you.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

1 year

It takes a village to raise a child. But it also takes a village to raise a parent. On this Mother’s Day, I’d love to hear about the motherly figures in your life who helped raise you or are helping you raise your kids.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"There is never 'The One.' There is a one that you choose and with whom you decide that you want to build something."

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

A person who tries to be the perfect partner feels as though they must have it all together, as if that just comes naturally. But in reality, you are allowed to make mistakes, search for yourself, and not have all the answers about who you really are.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

From the shifting landscape of relationships comes a new vocabulary for describing a wide range of experiences. Rejection has always been a part of the landscape. But new words like ghosting, icing, and simmering describe far more ambiguous encounters. Definitions by Adam Devine.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou #QuoteOfTheDay

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

‘Where Should We Begin?: The Arc of Love’ is now on @audible_com . Six new challenges, six new conversations. Join me as we explore the evolution of relationships. #WhereShouldWeBegin

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Esther Perel's Where Should We Begin?: The Arc of Love

Check out this great listen on Audible.com. For her latest Audible Original, Where Should We Begin?: The Arc of Love, Esther Perel invites you to listen to private and intimate conversations explor...

www.audible.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

Marriage is an aggregate of multiple narratives. It belongs to the people who are in it, but it also belongs to the people who are supporting it and living around it: family, friends, community. From @NewYorker ⬇️

Love Is Not a Permanent State of Enthusiasm: An Interview with Esther Perel

From the New Yorker Festival, the couples therapist and podcast host discusses infidelity, apologies, and the problem with wedding vows these days.

www.newyorker.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

2 years

Appreciating our partner’s fundamental otherness, as well as our own, is part of the ongoing challenge of love, especially in long-term relationships.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

1 year

I want to sincerely thank @nytimes and @sarahlyall for not only a wonderful feature, but for so artfully summarizing my career — one that has been decades in the making. I am feeling grateful and honored. Thank you. Full Article:

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery. #MatingInCaptivity

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Esther Perel

5 years

Weekend reading, via @nytimes .

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk." -Dalai Lama #QuoteOfTheDay

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

I live with one perennial truth: the quality of your relationships is what determines the quality of your life. (via @sxsw )

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Esther Perel | Interactive Keynote: Esther Perel Full Version| SXSW...

Esther Perel FULL VERSION"Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voi...

www.youtube.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

2 months

Cultivating trust requires millions of micro-risks that show us we’re not foolish for being confident in our relationship. Most importantly, trust requires taking risks together that help us grow into better partners for each other. Visit the link below for more on this topic.…

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

There is nothing that stands in the way more to a woman’s desire than the sense of care-taking. If I have to think about everybody else, I can’t think about me. - Motherless Woman, #WhereShouldWeBegin Season 1

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

May we all find ways to better understand ourselves and others in 2019. #HappyNewYear

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“Listen. Just listen. You don’t have to agree. Just see if you can understand that there’s another person who has a completely different experience of the same reality.” (via @iamwellandgood )

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The Rules of Relationships Are Changing *Fast*—Here’s What Esther Perel Says You Can Do About It

At one point during my conversation with psychotherapist and relationship guru Esther Perel, she pauses to ask, "Is any of this resonating with you?" It seems she has mistaken my silence for disintere

www.wellandgood.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.” -Kahlil Gibran via @brainpickings

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

4 months

Contained within every promise is an oath of accountability: an understanding that something will or will not be done. A resolution, on the other hand, is a declaration of desire. Resolutions activate a mental state of regard for our quality of being. In this mindset, we live in…

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." - Albert Einstein #QuoteOfTheDay

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

8 years

The challenge of modern relationships: We want the same person to be provide comfort and edge, be the anchor and a wave.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

When you pick a partner, you pick a story. (via @NewYorker )

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

What happened today is not just a matter of targeting Jews or minorities — the stranger in our midst. It is an attack on all humanity. When we do not speak out for one, we speak out for none. (2/2)

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

9 months

“There is laughter in hell.” Today I join @nayeema and @karaswisher to discuss the loss of their friend and colleague Blakeney Schick and how we live through grief. Listen to our full conversation through the link below.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

2 months

On a recent hike, I spoke with a friend about the difference between being alone and feeling lonely. In my office, I’ve heard many people talk about loneliness, the kind that is timeless and familiar as well as the kind that seems specific to this era. I dive deeper into this…

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“So, like a forgotten fire, a childhood can always flare up again within us.” —Gaston Bachelard

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” #Ana ïsNin #QuoteOfTheDay

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

"There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." -Vincent Van Gogh

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

5 years

"The seeds of intimacy are time and repetition. We choose each other again and again, and so create a community of two." #MatingInCaptivity

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“Love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life: time. Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the beginning.” #MatingInCaptivity

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

7 years

Trust is an active engagement with the unknown.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

8 years

By definition, friendship is reciprocal. You cannot be friends with someone who is not friends with you. Love is not necessarily reciprocal.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“Listen. Just listen. You don’t have to agree. Just see if you can understand that there’s another person who has a completely different experience of the same reality.” (via @iamwellandgood )

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The Rules of Relationships Are Changing *Fast*—Here’s What Esther Perel Says You Can Do About It

At one point during my conversation with psychotherapist and relationship guru Esther Perel, she pauses to ask, "Is any of this resonating with you?" It seems she has mistaken my silence for disintere

www.wellandgood.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

8 years

We don't have one sexuality. We all have multiple sexualities, that change with age, experience, self awareness, and self acceptance.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“Listen. Just listen. You don’t have to agree. Just see if you can understand that there’s another person who has a completely different experience of the same reality.” (via @iamwellandgood )

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The Rules of Relationships Are Changing *Fast*—Here’s What Esther Perel Says You Can Do About It

At one point during my conversation with psychotherapist and relationship guru Esther Perel, she pauses to ask, "Is any of this resonating with you?" It seems she has mistaken my silence for disintere

www.wellandgood.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

8 months

Much of my sexual education came from films. Many of these scenes play out fantasies. I believe, if we didn’t have fantasy, we couldn’t live. I invite you to explore the selection of my Top 10 Erotic Films featured in @TheCut through the link below.

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Please Enjoy Esther Perel’s 10 Favorite Erotic Films

“Many of these scenes play out fantasies, and fantasies often express our deepest emotional needs and wishes,” Perel says.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

2 years

Thank you @Trevornoah and @TheDailyShow for a wonderful conversation about sex, power, gender dynamics, and infidelity. We talk about my book, The State of Affairs, that is featured on Amazon Kindle this month.

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Esther Perel - A More Nuanced Look at Infidelity in "The State of...

Couples therapist Esther Perel discusses power and infidelity in her book "The State of Affairs." #DailyShow #EstherPerel #TDSThrowbackOriginally aired Novem...

www.youtube.com

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Esther Perel

11 months

Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same time, we expect them to be romantic and sexually fulfilling. Is it any wonder that so many relationships crumble under the weight of it all?

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness." - #MatingInCaptivity #QuoteOfTheDay

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

2 years

Love is an active verb because it takes practice (and practice and more practice). If you were to write a realistic vow for your relationship now, what would it would it be?

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

"People come in with a story. At the end of the session, I want them to leave with a different story, because a different story is what breeds hope — is what gives them a sense of possibility." #WhereShouldWeBegin

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Esther Perel

5 years

Where do we learn to love and how? “To love” is a skill that is cultivated, not merely a state of enthusiasm. It is dynamic and active. Imbued with intention and responsibility. And it is a verb. 7 Verbs That Shape the Way We Love ⬇️

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From Esther Perel's Blog - 7 Verbs That Shape the Way You Love

It’s essential to understand and practice the basic verbs when learning a new language. The same goes for practicing how we love in our daily lives. Read more about the seven verbs that shape how you...

www.estherperel.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

What is something you wish you had been told as a child?

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

1 year

Can women and men be friends? Absolutely — with good communication, boundaries, expectations and an open mind. We’re blessed with the ability to weave many types of relationships and friendship between men and women is a unique strand that needs to be valued highly.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

7 years

Connection > Disconnection > Repair. This is the cycle of relationships - there's no such thing as perfect all the time #SummitOfGreatness

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

10 months

"It’s very important to show that therapy is a highly relational, nuanced, and contextual conversation. That is very different from what you get on TikTok or IG or your friends in armchairs." For more on the topic read my conversation with @VanityFair .

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Esther Perel Thinks All This Amateur Therapy-Speak Is Just Making Us Lonelier

Ahead of the return of her beloved relationship-therapy podcast, ‘Where Should We Begin?’, the maestro of modern love muses over TikTokified psychobabble—and why she’s still excited about doing the...

www.vanityfair.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

2 years

It feels good to click with a new person romantically. But sometimes, something "unclicks." It’s fair to assume that every seriously-partnered person out there is carrying around a few half-started situationships, lost loves, and heartbreaks.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

When you pick a partner, you pick a story, and that story becomes the life you live. via @NPRfreshair

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As Marriage Standards Change, A Therapist Recommends 'Rethinking Infidelity'

Esther Perel has spent the past six years focusing on couples who are dealing with infidelity. "It's never been easier to cheat — and it's never been more difficult to keep a secret," she says.

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

8 years

"It is not nearly as important in a relationship how much people fight, as to how they repair." - John Gottman

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Esther Perel

6 years

My goal? "To take sexuality out of the realm of smut and make it a subject of public intellectual inquiry…a serious subject that doesn’t mean titillation or condemnation, which is what it is in this country." @qz #TheStateOfAffairsBook

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“Women are over-served in the space of relationships and men are totally underserved. And because the lives of women will not change until men come along, that means that men need to have a chance to also rethink what it means to be a man at home and at work.” (via @ELLEmagazine )

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

At the heart of sustaining desire in a committed relationship is the reconciliation of two fundamental human needs: security and adventure. Explore this paradox with my @TEDTalks :

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

7 years

The #1 public health crisis in the US is loneliness. #bpcon2017

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

4 years

Befriending our bodies and making peace with them is the beginning of one of the best relationships we can ever have: the relationship with ourselves.

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From Esther Perel's Blog - Why Eroticism Should Be Part of your Self-Care Plan

Self-care isn’t just about facemasks and mindfulness. It’s about tuning into our bodies and letting them teach us what we like, what we don’t like, and what we don’t know about ourselves yet. Read...

www.estherperel.com

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@EstherPerel

Esther Perel

6 years

“For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks… the work for which all other work is but preparation.” - Rainer Maria Rilke #QuoteOfTheDay

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