limp brittzkit @Brittymigs Twitter profile

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

I decided to make artwork out of the different ways my mom has botched celebs/show names

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

1 year

No piece of comedy is as funny as your friend accidentally saying a word a little bit wrong

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Moms love to go “did you hear?” and then proceed to tell you the saddest story you’ve ever heard in your life

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

*me sitting like a cooked shrimp* why does my back hurt

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Maybe just me but i think the micro plastics add a lot of flavor

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

This one frame in Signs is the reason i didn’t sleep for all of 2002

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

Do Airbnb hosts just like mentally block out the fact that people have fucked all over their home

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

Will i understand Dune if i haven’t seen a shit ton of sand before

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

I need an upside down water bottle next to my bed like a hamster

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

4 months

not the fart tacklebox

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@josiahhughes

4 months

leaving this on my nightstand in case i get peckish in the night

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

4 years

Hey I’m at antifa HQ & but i forgot my swipey thing at my desk can someone come let me in? I’m in the 4th floor stairwell

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

Just found this old picture of my grandma and great aunt ❤️ they ran a small dairy farm in upstate NY

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Stop making diners modern. I want them to look like shit. I want them to be made by a Greek family in 1972 and never updated

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

4 months

me and my girls at the end of a night out

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

When people announce the length of their newborn I’m like ok are they a party sub??

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 months

no free healthcare in this country, just a little red monster who asks you if you’re okay on twitter

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

“My baby is finally eating solids!” Call me when it can handle the razorsharp edges of a crab rangoon

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

8 months

my divorced parents (who are on good terms/friends but don’t speak regularly) got me the exact same card for my birthday this year🥲🥲

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

5 months

men are like nooo that’s my emotional support mushy flat yellow stained pillow

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

9 months

my cat looks like a catholic saint portrait here

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Something i do that you can steal: whenever a pompous dude tells me the prestigious institution where he went to college i ask him if it was his safety school

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

Bathing suit companies these days are like “Oh you have labia? Sorry!!!! We don’t do that :/“

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

11 months

I need my next partner to be absolutely looney tunes for me. Like, heart exploding from chest, tongue rolling out into a carpet, bonking themselves on the head with a hammer when they see me until little birds circle them, etc etc

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

1939: my husband is going off to war 2022: i am helping my husband choose which jibbitz to put on his crocs

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Good for her!

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

11 months

Instagram

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 months

★

@fuitsnack

2 months

it is so embarrassing when u hold a baby and they immediately start crying like omg is my vibe totally fucked, be honest with me

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

IMPORTANT:

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

1 year

Talking to my friends who aren’t online

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

Comedian in 1985: i made a joke about how women shop and now i am famous Comedian in 2021: i do sketch, standup, improv, satire, i make dumb lil videos on tik tok, i have a podcast, a web series, 3 features, 5 pilots, i’m on twitter 22 hours per day & can’t afford rent

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

10 months

3rd base is when i have a panic attack in front of you

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

I really jolted out of bed to make this

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

5 months

i call this the honeymoon suite

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

1 year

Me and my friends watching the full length Barbie trailer

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

7 months

So close!! That is a banana 💕

Science girl

@gunsnrosesgirl3

7 months

The goldentail moray (Gymnothorax miliaris)

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

8 months

i always forget that the masked singer is a real show and not like a subplot on 30 rock

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

5 months

how i feel when im back home and my mom sends me on an errand

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

You’re in her DMs. I’m in her DMs. We are both presenting her with the opportunity to be her own boss and make disposable income this is not a pyramid scheme

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

My wife and i saw you from across the bar and we absolutely hate your vibe, we were wondering what the fuck is wrong with you

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

By age 30 you should have at least one ex who completely ruined your life

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Telling my husband not to cheat by saying “we have pussy at home”

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

“Your cat is gonna eat you when you die” okay?? I’m an organ donor

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

12 days

Dentist: have you been flossing? *mouth pooling with blood* Me: most definitely

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

27 days

conan is truly living the dream right now, which is being eulogized without dying

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Does everyone have ONE restaurant they went to growing up that was used for every single occasion no matter the mood (birthday, graduation, parents divorce announcement, post-funeral meal) or just my family

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

1 year

Are you wearing the ludi— The ludicrously capacious bag? Yeah I am.

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

6 months

when i plug my phone into my computer and it says “do you trust this computer” it’s like idk girl do YOU??? aren’t you guys cousins or something?

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

5 months

Station Eleven was one of the most beautiful and profound series i’ve ever watched and i feel like it got lost in the shuffle?? it was nominated for emmys but every time i ask someone if they watched it they’ve never heard of it

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

8 months

@beckywtheokhair hahah that was mom

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

I honestly do think it is the perfect punishment for Kellyanne that her gen z daughter torture her in her own house for eternity

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

“My mental illness is my superpower” that’s cool mine prevents me from doing everyday tasks

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

1 year

I know he’d run the front desk of the White Lotus like it’s the navy

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 months

elmo wants you to name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear—

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

11 months

You’ll feel so good about yourself and then your mom is like “so what’s going on with your eyebrows”

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

He wrote the book on “she let me hit cause I’m goofy”

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Running up that hill to make a deal with Gob

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

They really hate it 😃

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

5 months

she sold her vape to buy him the new zelda game… he sold his switch to buy her cartridges…. 💔

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Sci-fi is when big boob robot, fantasy is when big boob elf

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

10 months

guys please be nice to keke's bf 😔 he actually suffers from a really serious condition that a lot of other men have: dork ass insecure loser disease

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

11 months

your body 30 min after eating beans

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

4 years

Be gay, do crimes, & protect black trans lives 🤙🏼

@theokraproject | Linktree

Linktree. Make your link do more.

linktr.ee

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

7 months

for some reason my hotel room has 2 toilets and i have been using them equally so neither one “feels left out” in case you’re wondering how i’m doing

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

1 year

@DaveisWoke “No no no say it again”

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

Hairdresser: you like? Me *visibly shaking and crying*: i love it

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Me writing a script: hell yeah I’m writing a script Me trying to come up with a character name: uhhhhh is Blorpo a name

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

I should call him

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

10 months

cillian murphy for 3 hours in oppenheimer

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Omg so sorry I’m late a witch put a curse on me when I was born that prevents me from being on time to anything

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

the twitter photo cropping algorithm is my greatest enemy and i will not rest until one of us is dead. anyways enjoy

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Why are comics doing this

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

6 months

this is how i find out??

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

10 months

ABBA is timeless. You could play it for a pilgrim and they’d bop

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Sometimes the internet is a beautiful place ❤️

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@Brittymigs

2 years

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

5 months

he’s currently in 3 different situationships with girls in bushwick

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

11 months

The fact that AMC isn't doing a Barbie/Oppenheimer double feature package seems like a real missed opportunity?? My friends and i are genuinely looking to do this and there isn't such a thing available

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

1 year

swagno

@Sunfl0wersailor

1 year

How do you serve cunt in a god honoring way

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

3 years

If i went to medical school for nearly a decade and was actively trying to save the world from a deadly virus and someone was like “no i can’t get vaxxed my cousin on Facebook shared a really compelling infographic” to my face, i would honestly launch myself into the sea

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs

2 years

Happy pride from the absolute last person you wanna hear it from (bisexual woman in hetero relationship)

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limp brittzkit

@Brittymigs