adrienne iapalucci @AIapalucci Twitter profile

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

My first album “Baby Skeletons” is now available for presale. If you enjoyed this please retweet:

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

My boyfriend just took his shirt off to take a shit. I’ve never heard of this. Is this a thing?

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

If God can kill his only son you should be allowed to kill yours.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

About fucking time someone holds the line. Not all comedy is going to be for everyone and that’s what makes it great. If you don’t like it don’t watch it. There are so many other options.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Why aren’t we cancelling chefs for cooking other cultures food other than their own.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Can we just call it titty jizz and call it a day?

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

The Degenerates is now streaming on ⁦ @NetflixIsAJoke ⁩ make sure to watch all these killer comics this season ⁦ @robertkelly ⁩ ⁦ @NikkiGlaser ⁩ ⁦ @ComedienneMsPat ⁩ ⁦⁦ @JimNorton ⁩ ⁦ @donnellrawlings ⁩ For tour dates check

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

If you get into politics for any reason other than to line your pockets with money you’re an idiot.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I can’t imagine surviving a global pandemic to get offended by jokes at a comedy show.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

10 months

My episode on @joerogan is out. Go listen. I said lots of dumb stuff.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

By not kicking out #WillSmith last night and nobody addressing it sets a bad precedent for comedy. It’s telling people it’s okay to storm the stage and hit a comic for a joke you don’t like. This is not good.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I love when someone calls you dumb and thinks that’s an insult. Of course I’m dumb. I’m arguing with you on Twitter.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Society forces women to be insecure. If I was getting raped the whole time I’d be thinking, “I hope this guy doesn’t think I’m fat.”

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

Republicans better not complain when states need more government funding as a result of more people who cannot afford to have kids that are being forced to have kids. Get ready with your check book for more money for welfare, Medicaid, food stamps and housing. #YouDidThis

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

Boyfriend: If I killed someone would you tell on me? Me: No, but I’d use it against you all the time. I’d be like “Are you gonna walk the dog or do I have to make a phone call?”

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Correct me if I’m wrong. But aren’t there more kids in cages now?? It’s like not much has changed.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I was being sarcastic. The fact that chefs are being cancelled for making food other than their ethnicity is insane. How do people not realize how dumb cancel culture is and how it’s not progressive?

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

We’re getting so close to canceling actors for playing racists in movies. I’m looking at you Leonardo DiCaprio for Django Unchained.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

If you have sex with guys who have small dicks you never have to worry about a leaked sex tape.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Kaitlyn Jenner running for Governor is hilarious cause Trump supports her cause she is a Republican and the left supports her for being transgender. And the Crips and Bloods support her for getting away with murder.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

Its the best time to be a comic because you can’t police people. Nobody’s getting fired from anything. If Shane Gillis episode came out now nobody would care. They’d think its funny & are probably calling Asians worse stuff cause of Corona. What I’m saying is you’re all Faggots

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

I just unfollowed someone who posted a video of them crying about Betty White. Please stop. Yes, it’s very sad that a 99 year old woman died but at the same time keep in mind how much better off she is than us, dead.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

I can’t believe @netflix spent $75 million on this garbage movie “Don’t Look Up” but asked me to take a later flight when I taped “The Degenerates” to save $400. 🤣🤣🤣

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

If you’re a cop right now just let everyone kill each other. Stay in your car and scroll Instagram. Get that pension and bounce.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

At what point in this new woke world are people gonna start calling pedophiles “brave” for coming out?

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Has anyone tried telling Israel and Palestine that religion is fake? It’s like being 40 years old and believing in Santa.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

The new “fuck you” is telling people “good luck on your journey”

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

People don’t hate black or white people. They hate POOR black and POOR white people. It’s a class thing but politicians/media have made it a race thing and the truth is they care about none of us. Get rich so your life is worth saving.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I fully don’t give a shit anymore. I’m coming out of this pandemic guns blazing. I already live like I’m cancelled so good luck cancelling me

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

6 years

White Woman at my show: That's offensive. I have a black husband. Me: I'm sorry. Woman: thank you. Me: Sorry for him. Black people have suffered enough.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Just saw a woman hysterically crying on the streets of Manhattan and I went over to her and said “Put your fucking mask on. Learn to cry on the inside like the rest of us.”

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Not nearly enough people died from Covid. Bring on the variants

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Trolling dudes again. #OKStupid

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

Are they finishing the movie where Alec Baldwin killed someone or nah?

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I think I was molested as a kid. Is this where I tell everyone? Or is this more an IG thing?

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Just started reading a book and I’m 12 texts in.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

We get it @joerogan you’re good at everything

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

5 years

Dating advice: Date people you don’t like so when it ends you don’t care.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Today is the day! My album “Baby Skeletons” is now available everywhere you buy or stream stuff. Don’t be cheap it’s $9.99 and I’m a single puppy mom. Buy it here:

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Hey . @joerogan heard you have some openings in your schedule get at me

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

My ex-boyfriend always thought I was gonna cheat on him so he told me he was gonna hire a guy to follow me around. I said “great, now I’m gonna have to fuck that guy too”

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

10 years

I don't expect a lot. I just want to make enough money so that all my bathroom towels match.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

You can make jokes about sexism, racism, transgender people, homophobia, fat people, disabled people & still be a decent person who thinks all of these people deserve equality & compassion. Once the far left grasps this you won’t have to worry about tyrants running for president.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I hate when people say you can be overweight and healthy. I’m overweight and I’m not Healthy. The only person whose should have been fat was Jesus. There’s no way to nail a fat person to a cross. You can try but it’s gonna take a lot of nails and wood.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

Watched someone get hit in the head by a pot someone was banging for the nurses at 7pm and now he’s in an ambulance going to the hospital. 🤣🤣🤣 I couldn’t love this more

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

When #CaitlynJenner is making sense we’re in trouble

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

When I was in highschool I had dirty blonde hair. One day in school my teacher pointed out to the whole class, that I would have been the only one Hitler wouldn’t have killed. I said, “This is a weird way to tell everyone that I’m better than them.”

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

Girl who wouldn’t shut up during my set Girl: my dad died on 9/11. Me: I wish you were there instead of him.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I don’t know why there are so many people flooding the Kabul airport when they can just get on their magic carpets.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

Not all heros wear capes @Delta

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

This was posted days ago. I’m on tour with #LouisCK The shows in the Ukraine are not happening. I can’t image how dumb . @nypost would have to be to assume shows were going on in the middle of a war. Why not add that Patrice O’Neal and Bob Saget are also on the show.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

The fact that people go through peoples tweets to get them cancelled is mind boggling. What an awful piece of sad garbage you have to be to do that. Successful people don’t need to do things like that because they’re busy being successful.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

@BridgetPhetasy If you want to open LA dig into Gavins sex history 🤣

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

I met @bobsaget twice. Once at the Comedy Cellar and at Skankfest. Both times I went up right before him and when I got offstage he told me I was the funniest comedian he ever met & should be famous. Great guy & great judge of talent. #RIPBobSaget

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

One time in highschool, before summer break, I convinced a nerdy girl to let me give her a makeover. She agreed and I sent her into the summer looking hot. When I saw her in September she was pregnant. 😬

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

1 year

What a night opening for #LouisCK at Madison Square Garden with @JonnyFisch who killed it up top! You can stream the whole show (including openers) until 2/17 at

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

As someone who is not alt right or right I just want to make sure I understand. The murderer listened to . @Shanemgillis podcast then got the idea to murder people in Atlanta? Is that correct? I want as much useful information as we can get for the trial.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

5 years

I’ve made it to Columbus, Ohio. Opening for the great . @pattonoswalt tonight. Come out, it’s gonna be magical

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

5 years

What you need to know about this video is that her and her friend were talking loudly during my set and got kicked out and couldn’t understand why. As she was getting asked to leave she said it was “racist” that she was getting kicked out.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

Nobody has made this point but Desantis sent the immigrants to Martha’s Vineyard so they wouldn’t get killed by Hurricane Ian. He saved people of color from dying while whites weren’t even given floaties for the hurricane. That’s woker than anything anyone is doing.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

1 year

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Who say you need a man. I installed my own air conditioner.......Just kidding my boyfriend did it.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

The most me and my dad have ever talked.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

My boyfriend just called a can of soup that fell on his foot a cunt but I know that was for me.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I just watched two dudes fucking on Twitter but got my post taken down on IG for telling someone “to go fuck themselves”

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

As everything reopens just know nobody cares about your life or your families and you should act accordingly. Everyone has about 5 people they care about and it’s not you.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Can’t even joke on national joke day. We should all just kill ourselves

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

The movie #Dune is one of the worst movies I ever watched. I wish Alec Baldwin shot that director.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

She should just dig up her old kid. #CaseyAnthony

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Serious question: if my air conditioner falls out of my window and kills someone who is responsible me or my landlord?

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Cages are basically cribs with protective tops so they’re safer.

Tim Dillon

@TimJDillon

3 years

Their pronouns are on the outside of the cages. It’s fine.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Stop acting like you wouldn’t be in Cancun right now if you could afford it. Ted Cruz sucks but this isn’t why. Stop pretending politicians care about any of us. Once you do that you will stop getting your feelings hurt.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

Can’t believe they’re gonna dig up the corpse of Robin Williams so they can cancel him for playing a trans nanny in Mrs. Doubtfire. Hopefully this will end police brutality.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I have my own Nikes coming out with period blood. Stay tuned #nikesatanshoes #Nike #lilnasX #LilNas #periodchallenge

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

It’s amazing how super woke people are half asleep when it comes to real issues.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Wonder how many murderers started out as serial killers and got lazy.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

I kinda liked 2020.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

4 years

Love how this black guy was willing to overlook my flaws. #TinderTapout . @Tinder . @tinderfessions

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 months

I went to cvs and got an bunch of travel sized stuff and the cashier asked “are you going on vacation?” I said, “No, I just have a week to live and I don’t want my family getting anything”

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

🤣🤣🤣 @TimJDillon I still think we should do “Go Fund Yourself”

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

A lot of upsetting stuff online right now but I also just read that Marilyn Monroe had a smelly pussy. So it’s not all bad.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Everyone is upset about the kids in cages but we’re all still wearing Nikes so stop.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Don’t reach for the stars, being mediocre is rewarded quite frequently.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Getting to do #CONAN was a highlight of my career. Even though he didn’t have me back I still have the DMs he sent me after and that’s worth a lot more. #RIPConan

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

2 years

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 11, Episode 4. Larry has to get a KKK robe cleaned for a clansman he spilled coffee on. One of the last few shows pushing the line. So funny.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

3 years

Guess it’s easy to complain about someone who produces their own successful festival and podcast network and has built their own fanbase, when you don’t have much going on. Successful people aren’t tearing other people down they’re too busy being successful.

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adrienne iapalucci

@AIapalucci

1 year

Listen up skanks, I will be performing at Skankfest Vegas in Las Vegas, Nevada September 29th- October 1st 2023! Tickets are on sale Monday, 4/10 at 1pm EST at @skankfestnyc #SkankfestVegas