Elsa Williams @williamspidge Twitter profile

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Elsa Williams

1 month

I wrote about autistic people on screen melting people’s hearts. And how it’s all a bit nuts. ‘Telly is weird. As an autistic person, I’ve never felt wholesome’

Telly is weird. As an autistic person, I’ve never felt ‘wholesome’

The microphone is passed to a young man sat along the row. He laughs a little, avoiding all eye contact, and suddenly struggles to speak…

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

My dad refuses to believe his daughter is autistic on the basis he’s not, before determinedly showing us his shell collection in the middle of a family meal

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

My dad invited his friend Barry over (via text) on his day off. Turned out he invited the wrong Barry. Currently the wrong Barry is here, whilst everybody else is doing their best to pretend he isn’t the wrong Barry and I’m silently shrieking

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 months

Oh my God they’ve killed her

Paddington

@paddingtonbear

2 months

How do you get marmalade out of a carpet? Asking for a friend.

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Queuing to see the Queen lying in state would have made for an EXCEPTIONAL Outnumbered episode

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 months

A friend of a friend made a Claudia Winkleman cake

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

7/10 of our interactions over the last few months have been him asking whether I will come and look at his tomato plant

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 years

seeing A LOT of Groovy Chick on my timeline but hello Funky Friends??

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

I always thought I knew what ‘dad jokes’ were until I visited friend’s family. The humour - no matter how silly - always had a punchline. Mine’s jokes frequently make no sense to a single soul except him. We’re all sat witnessing it in disbelief

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

The remaining conversations tend to be: Dad: But are you SURE you are? Me: Are you sure you’re not?

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

He is a perfectly good Barry might I add, just not the one he ordered

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Not being able to safely track a missed period online will no doubt lead to serious medical conditions going undetected, including endometriosis and cancers. This is hell.

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Have decided that the Sylvanian crocodile family are simply the most splendid thing I’ve ever seen

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

25 days

Oh God, the pub discourse. Is it that hard to leave your kid on a lead outside with a little bowl of water

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

I’ll propose to inspect his beloved tomato plant once he’s done his reading

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 months

Companies the day after Mental Health Awareness day

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

If your father happens to believe your autism doesn’t exist, be sure to write in and we’ll air them like CBeebies birthday cards

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

This same man decided when I was seven that our shared father-daughter activity would be Little Britain

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Best part is that he thought he’d arranged to see Right Barry (who lives a fair distance away) for weeks and months, and then Wrong Barry walks up from up the road

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Do two Wrong Barrys make a Right Barry

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

If we created a support group for autistic dads in denial, they’d all just quote each other as evidence why they weren’t. ‘See! Tony’s into ferret-badgers, aren’t you, Tony?’

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

WhatsApp from a relative in Yorkshire: Hello Elsa love do you reckon you’ve still got that autism

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

5 months

BBC News (UK)

@BBCNews

5 months

Mental health response vehicles introduced

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

See also:

Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Commented ‘I quite fancy some falafel’ once, maybe three years ago. My father immediately started bulk buying packets from Aldi at irregular intervals and now refuses to stop. I’ll be pouring myself some bran flakes and he’ll enquire why, why am I not eating the falafel?

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Unfortunately Tony would have spent the best part of twenty minutes nodding along, before commencing his own monologue on Spanish mushrooms

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

11 months

Supermarkets really need a gift section for autistic dads. No ‘Old Fart’ mugs, no beer-flavoured beard wash or Hugo Boss cologne. I’m talking a kilogram of cracked corn birdseed. The encyclopaedia of Japanese Weasels

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

So you don’t think I’m autistic? Because you saw that actor who isn’t autistic do a Quite Convincing impression of an autistic person in a show written by a non-autistic person? Please, tell me more

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Commented ‘I quite fancy some falafel’ once, maybe three years ago. My father immediately started bulk buying packets from Aldi at irregular intervals and now refuses to stop. I’ll be pouring myself some bran flakes and he’ll enquire why, why am I not eating the falafel?

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

5 months

Lovely Christmas with the family. Just sitting back, relaxing and drafting an email to my therapist saying our work together is not quite done actually

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

*Hugh Grant voice* I’ve got a sneaky feeling that the Wrong Barry actually is all around

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

At some point or other in our lives, we are all Wrong Barry

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

5 months

Beautiful piece of television #DoctorWho

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

5 months

Trying to get PIP in this country, basically #DoctorWho

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Being an autistic woman is learning to embed phrases into your vocabulary like ‘think it’s called’ and ‘or something’, as to sound casual and not reveal you know disconcerting amounts about one very pointless thing

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

‘What’s wrong with my falafel?’ he’ll bark from inside his casket, as the funeral cortège pulls up beside the chapel

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 months

Love On The Spectrum is a good concept and all but I wish it wasn’t dominated by Wholesome Autistics that elicit a response of ‘aw’. I want to see autistics who are terrifying. Who trigger feelings of abject disgust

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

*Wrong Barry

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 months

And the MMR vaccine…which did NOT cause autism

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Update: began retelling the story to my sister, got to the point where Dad got the nice chairs out for Barry and collapsed again

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Still find it hysterical actors get awards for pretending to be disabled once, whilst I delivered a sustained neurotypical performance for twenty-three years and got piss all

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

(Wrong Barry we love, for the record, but he’s pint in a pub sort of Barry who doesn’t usually come to the house)

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 years

Saw a tweet like this a while back and I’m bored as hell, so: I have synesthesia (which means I ‘taste’ words/sounds). Give me your name and I’ll tell you what it tastes of

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Was NOT prepared for the volume of messages in the past 24 hours informing me: That if I was really autistic I couldn’t be a writer That autistic people love trains, not shells And my personal favourite: that I stop men getting laid and need to be cured (I assume like a ham)

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Neurotypicals to me before I researched autism: You’re so weird. Why can’t you be normal? What’s wrong with you? Neurotypicals after I chose to pursue diagnosis: You’re no different to us. How could you think you were? What’s wrong with you?

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Our bottom shelf of the fridge is currently a fucking henhouse of reduced falafel, if anybody indeed fancies some

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Could we stop perpetuating the idea of autistic love as ‘pure and wholesome’?

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

(Guys, I haven’t seen Friday Night Dinner but now I suppose I’ll have to)

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

11 months

Well, I’m a wreck

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 months

‘Apparently you have to say autistic now’. Can’t just say cumbersome twat who likes McDonald’s anymore

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 months

Trying my luck with a ‘Let’s leave it until after Pancake Day’ work email

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Pete continually suggesting they turn back, whilst Sue is adamant they see this through. Ben interrogating a royal guard, before requesting a livestream from inside the coffin

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

To reaffirm - I’ve never seen an episode of FND! Bizarre coincidence, it seems. Laughed a LOT today for the first time in a long time (all whilst hidden upstairs) and wanted somebody to share it with. All your stories have brought me sweet sweet joy, by the way

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 years

If you’re stuck in lockdown with an eating disorder (in the UK), this thread is for you. Below is a list of support options that can help:

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 months

What’s a still from a movie or TV show that will completely devastate anyone who has seen it, but seem completely unremarkable to anyone who hasn’t?

Gerry McBride

@GerryMcBride

3 months

What’s a still from a movie or TV show that will completely devastate anyone who has seen it, but seem completely unremarkable to anyone who hasn’t?

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 months

‘Give them a book on trains in the doctor’s waiting room’ don’t you dare

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Every interaction as an autistic person feels like spinning a frisbee with utmost precision, only for it to be snatched by the wind and land in a hedge

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 months

Recalling the note in my autism report that read, ‘thinks she’s quite good at writing.’ Considering giving the first book I write a special dedication. To Deborah (not called Deborah). Thinks she’s quite good at autism assessments

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 years

Suspend UK exportation of crowd control weapons to the US. Please sign. You can still be active even if you can’t donate. #BlackLivesMatter

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Non-autistics seeing autistic characters on screen: So special! So important! Autistics seeing autistic characters on screen: Oh. Fuck. Oh no. Not the sparse Physics student bedroom. Does he care that she’s crying? Course he doesn’t. Oh, the massive headphones. Oh God

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 months

Doctor: It says on your notes here you’ve got an autism diagnosis. Me: Yep. Doctor: Wow! I mean, well. You don’t look it. Not sure the primary school bullies would agree with that, Sarah

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 months

Autistic people in the replies:

Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 months

‘Give them a book on trains in the doctor’s waiting room’ don’t you dare

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

10 months

My friend sent me a picture of her baby daughter so I sent her a picture of my Biscoff McFlurry

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Meanwhile, Karen becomes increasingly disillusioned with the monarchy - and Jake drops a bombshell. Whilst staring down tributes for a ninety-six-year-old head of state, Sue and Pete contemplate grandparenthood

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

8 days

Not enough autism tv shows about women crying in the office and thinking everybody is mad at them

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Carefully cupped and carried a black butterfly to the window (found on the floor). Thought I’d done my good deed for the day. Except it wasn’t a butterfly. Or even a moth, as it turns out. It was a tiny leaf of red cabbage

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Spoiler: we don’t just miss a period when we’re pregnant.

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

@Danforrister They are the whitest, plainest of British shells and all exactly identical

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Platter for a big pickle

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Auntie Angela pops up, in the most ludicrously extravagant mourning attire known to man

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 months

Got PIP assessor notes back. Despite being sent evidence of formal diagnosis and my full diagnostic report, they concluded I don’t have support needs…because, wait for it…I attended my autism assessment alone (Oh, and I made eye contact)

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Jake would pick up an anti-royalist girlfriend. Pete’s suitably impressed by her discernment, until it’s revealed she doesn’t believe the moon exists

ann | ag GOAL scorer era

@quandromache

2 years

karen’s asking everyone around her why we have funerals cos she thinks they’re pointless, ben’s gone to see if anyones really IN the coffin, and jake’s decided he’s an anti royalist because of a girl he’s seeing.

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Introducing ‘Autism or trauma?’, from the people who brought you ‘theatre or museum’

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 years

I’d really love to see an autistic character on TV where their abilities are useful without falling into the ‘genius’ trope. Autistic narratives are often confined to super intelligence or constant meltdowns, without exploring the world in between

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

11 months

She’s such a pleasure to have in class. That’s why we’ve put her next to Simon here, who repeatedly tries to kill her during Geography

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

1 year

The truth is out!! Delighted to announce I’ve been cast as the first openly autistic character in the new Harry Potter series, Milda Spergers

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Yes, you can grab a pad and paper! Rather my point is that people have busy schedules, other priorities, mouths to feed, poor memory, disabilities. Life happens. As a person who never managed to keep a diary more than a fortnight, I’d struggle. App reminders are great that way.

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 months

@shamingjezebel Think he meant ‘instead of person with autism’, but it was more the begrudging way it was said

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Not to mention the severity of conditions like PMDD. It leaves many depressed and suicidal, and tracking your cycles can save your life.

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Personal thing, but I vehemently dislike the phrase ‘on the spectrum’. Would never refer to myself as such. It serves only to vaguely define us to non-autistics, rather than helping us understand ourselves. ‘Autistic’ feels assertive, unashamed and to the point. Thoughts?

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

11 months

Just asked my dad whether he’d like to do anything for Father’s Day. He’s requested we take a look at the compost heap to see if there’s an adequate level of soil

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

1 month

Jesus buttering a hot cross bun this morning:

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Turns out autism assessment questionnaires are just a full-fledged character assassination. ‘Were you invited round for tea just the once?’, they might as well ask

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 years

By London being ‘horrified’, I obviously mean it in jest—just by us jumping around all over the place being typical Northerners. Just so nothing gets misinterpreted. London is ace and I hope you’re all staying safe, too.

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Learning that Spectrum 10k co-leader Daniel Geschwind is associated with an organisation called “Cure Autism Now’ is…a lot?

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

I mean, what are those of us who are extremely sexy supposed to do

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

1 year

Just unwise men, just unwise but not illegal men

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Pitch: a zombie apocalypse film where the kids are still going to fucking school

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

It’s fine to need an app. You should be able to do so without fear.

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

10 months

To be an autistic woman is always feeling little bit like a Sylvanian Family hamster that’s landed in Barbie World

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

Reminder that autistic people are especially vulnerable to scams, trickery and having personal information used without their consent. Can’t see any issue with Spectrum 10k demanding participant DNA testing with the promise to improve life outcomes. None at all. #StopSpectrum10K

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 years

@benjaminbutter ‘Feel free to have a boogie and throw some glitter around, but please don’t advocate for your own existence’

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Father’s Day card inside messages read like: ‘Nobody else has a dad like mine! I’m so proud you’re my golf club. Know I football trophy the pint of beer, always. Have a lovely hammer, you old deckchair, and enjoy your wheelbarrow’

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Me: I should probably work on politer, more gracious goodbyes when leaving the office Autism:

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

8 months

Tempted to pitch a Jack Whitehall: Travels With My Father type show, but it’s a recently diagnosed autistic woman and her autistic dad in denial just looking in rock pools

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 years

Yesterday, the supermarket assistant at the till asked me if I was happy that school had finished. I’m twenty-four this year. I was happy when it finished seven years ago, so I said yes

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

It’s worth saying that period tracking apps are invaluable for teens who don’t have supportive parents to ask. Information is offered in bitesize facts, and you learn to tune into processes within your body which initially seem alien and terrifying. So sad, this.

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

4 years

1.3 million kids who are normally on free school meals aren’t getting fed over the holidays. The government have not reversed this decision. For perspective, let’s take a look at school dinners for Eton College boys. #schoolmeals4summer

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

2 years

Karen, mid-speech about her having accumulated much more work experience than Charles, realises she fancies a girl in the adjascent queue. Or is that something I would do

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Elsa Williams

@williamspidge

3 years

@iainrow If you choose to renew your vows, please throw an invite Wrong Barry’s way

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