Swear Clock @swearclock Twitter profile

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Swear Clock

5 months

Hello, the time sponsored by Accurist is FUCK OFF, this is @swearclock ⏰ Add your swears ⏰ Listen to the speaking swear clock ⏰ Created and maintained by @robmanuel of @b3ta and @fesshole etc

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Swear Clock

@swearclock

1 year

IT IS HERE! THE @SWEARCLOCK THAT TALKS INSIDE YOUR BROWSER! THROW AWAY YOUR CLOCKS, FOR THEY ARE OBSOLETE

🕒 Talking Swear Clock

Swear Clock is now a speaking clock! For all your profanity and timekeeping needs.

b3ta.com

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224

Swear Clock

@swearclock

6 years

Hit My Rump With A Tea Towel And Call Me Mr Motivator It's 11:30PM 🕦

0

17

192

Swear Clock

@swearclock

6 years

Cram A Sloth Up Your Chocolate Starfish It's 3:30PM

3

38

181

Swear Clock

@swearclock

7 years

Wank On A Box Of Alpen It's 4:30PM

4

46

172

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Fuck Me Like The Tories Fuck Every Member Of The Working Class It's 10:00AM

2

30

118

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Cunts Are Still Running The World It's 12:00AM

1

19

98

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

The Tories Are Cunts It's 9:00AM

1

9

95

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt It's 8:00PM

3

10

99

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt It's 2:00PM

5

16

98

Swear Clock

@swearclock

6 years

Sprinkle My Goo Bazooka With Kippers It's 4:30AM 🕟

1

13

96

Swear Clock

@swearclock

4 months

Fuck The Tories It's 7:00PM

0

16

98

Swear Clock

@swearclock

4 months

Mourn Your Fucking Dead Kid Because Their School Collapsed And They Were Crushed By A Big Fucking Block Of Concrete, Then Go Out And Vote Tory Anyway Because You're A Complete Cunt It's 10:00AM

1

8

95

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 months

It's Not A Fucking Unprecedented Volume Of Calls To Your Call Centre If It Happens Every Bastarding Day, It's Highly Fucking Precedented, Isn't It, You Shameless Twat Ends It's 7:00PM

0

16

95

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Stop Calling Him Boris, It Humanises The Cunt It's 9:00PM

0

19

92

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Fuck Me, The Government Turned Out To Be A Bunch Of Cunts. I Wish They'd All Fuck Off And Die. It's 9:00AM

1

12

85

Swear Clock

@swearclock

5 years

Oh Rectum! It's 10:30PM

1

5

87

Swear Clock

@swearclock

7 years

It's Cunting 10:30AM You Wankers

1

17

82

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Get Your Vaccine And Shut The Fuck Up You Self Centered Bag Of Fish Cunts It's 2:00PM

2

15

77

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Time To Arrange An Awkward Snog With Your Mate On Cctv To Avoid Prosecution For Being A Massive Bent Corrupt Cunt Who Killed Thousands. It's 12:00PM

1

14

77

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Your Dad Sucks Off Truckers For Nectar Points It's 8:00PM

1

7

75

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

I Don't Mean To Get Political Or Anything But Have We Considered Just Firing That Useless Cunt Boris Into The Fucking Sun It's 10:00PM

2

12

75

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

If You Take The Words "Jacob Rees-Mogg", Add Some Letters To Them, Then Take Some Letters Away You Are Left With The Words "Complete And Utter Cunt" It's 6:00PM

1

14

76

Swear Clock

@swearclock

5 months

Your Dad Sucks Off Truckers For Nectar Points It's 9:00PM

0

7

72

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

RIP The Queen from all at @swearclock too 🕯

Crazy Frog

@TrueCrazyFrog

2 years

R.I.P. The Queen 🕯️

475

13K

96K

2

6

71

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Mrs Brown's Boys Is The Greatest And Funniest Show In Television History It's 11:00PM

25

9

71

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

You Scumbag, You Maggot, You Fist Fucked My Rabbit It's 12:00PM

1

5

71

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Football Is Not Coming Home You Optimistic Twats It’s 4:04pm

2

16

66

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

The Tories Are Cunts It's 8:00AM

2

9

66

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

You Scumbag, You Maggot, You Fist Fucked My Rabbit It's 1:00PM

2

10

66

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Free Britney You Fucking Cunts It's 5:00PM

1

12

66

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Hey, I Just Rimmed You, And This Is Crazy, But I'm A Possum, And You've Got Rabies It's 6:00AM

1

4

66

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? Because You're A Cunt It's 10:00AM

0

7

63

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Get Fucked You Spooky Cunt It's 10:00PM

4

3

63

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 months

Rishi Sunak Is A Cunt It's 7:00PM

1

8

64

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

I've Covid Tested My Cum And Now My Cock's Self Isolating In Your Mum It's 2:00PM

3

4

64

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

It's All Just A Load Of Shit Isn't It? It's 7:00AM

1

15

63

Swear Clock

@swearclock

4 months

Time For The Tory Cunts To Fuck Off And Fall Into A Fucking Volcano, It's 7:00PM

0

5

60

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

No Sir, I Won't Fucking Boogie It's 6:00AM

2

6

59

Swear Clock

@swearclock

6 years

🕥 Fuck Me Like The Government It's 10:30PM

1

23

60

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Everybody's A Bit Of A Cunt Sometimes. Except You. You're A Cunt All The Time, Including Now. It's 2:00PM

2

10

57

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Reshaping Morph Into A Dildo But Leaving His Eyes So He Can See What's About To Happen It's 3:00AM

0

4

58

Swear Clock

@swearclock

4 months

Hi - Rob Manuel, Admin Speaking. Swear Clock Has Been Paused Because Of A Police Investigation.That's Right!You Dirty Fuckers Are About To Have Your Collective Collars Felt By The Fucking Rozzers. It's 7:00PM

2

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Swear Clock

@swearclock

5 months

Fucking Retweet And Cunting Like This Bastard Tweet So The Wanking Swear Clock Fucker Goes Viral It's 9:00AM

0

7

58

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

Spell Out "Fuck Off" In Heating Elements Under Your Roof So It Shows Up On The Police Thermal Imaging Camera It's 4:00AM

1

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Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Oh Shut Up You Cunt It's 1:00PM

2

3

56

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Jesus Christ Superstar, Came Down From Heaven On A Yamaha. Did A Skid, Killed A Kid, Knackered His Bollocks On A Dustbin Lid It's 5:00AM

4

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Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

Let Kunt And The Gang Write A New National Anthem It's 2:00AM

3

6

58

Swear Clock

@swearclock

1 year

Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt It's 8:00PM

1

10

58

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

I've Covid Tested My Cum And Now My Cock's Self Isolating In Your Mum It's 8:00PM

3

6

55

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

He Drinks A Semen Drink, He Drinks A Faeces Drink. He Drinks A Urine Drink, He Drinks A Menstrual Drink.He Sucks Cocks That Remind Him Of Sausage Times, He Licks Fannies That Remind Him Of Bacon Times It's 7:00PM

6

9

55

Swear Clock

@swearclock

5 years

Piers Morgan Is Still A Fucking Idiot It's 10:30AM

2

10

51

Swear Clock

@swearclock

6 years

Knock Knock Who's There? Chewbacca Chewbacca Who? Chewbacca Bumming A Horse It's 8:30PM

3

14

53

Swear Clock

@swearclock

7 years

Shit On My Penile Shaft And Call Me Nicholas Witchell It's 1:30PM

2

14

54

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Range Rover? Cunt Rover, More Like. It's 4:00PM

3

2

54

Swear Clock

@swearclock

6 years

Ejaculate On Piers Morgan It's 6:30PM

6

8

53

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Go And Get You're Vaccine You Soppy Thick Cunt It's 8:00PM

1

11

54

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe. She Had So Many Children Her Cunt Fell Off. It's 8:00PM

1

4

51

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

He Drinks A Semen Drink, He Drinks A Faeces Drink. He Drinks A Urine Drink, He Drinks A Menstrual Drink.He Sucks Cocks That Remind Him Of Sausage Times, He Licks Fannies That Remind Him Of Bacon Times It's 10:00AM

2

3

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Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

If Boris Johnson Wanted To Come Into Your House At Night And Peg You You'd Let Him, You Dirty Tory Cunt It's 10:00PM

0

2

51

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

It's Not Coming Home, Why Would It Want To Come Home To A Bunch Of Brexit Racist Twatfuckers It's 6:00AM

0

6

52

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

I Got Kicked Off The Bus For Wanking Again, Fuck Knows Who's Going To Drive It Now It's 11:00AM

1

4

53

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Convince An Otter It's Depressed Then Tell It To Fuck Off It's 6:00PM

0

8

53

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 months

Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt It's 9:00AM

1

8

54

Swear Clock

@swearclock

1 year

Fill Your Arsehole With Smarties And Shit Them Into The Cupped Hands Of Your Crying Child At Their Willy Wonka Themed 5th Birthday Party It's 11:00AM

2

3

54

Swear Clock

@swearclock

6 years

Waitrose Has A Special Offer On Bellends It's 9:30AM

3

20

53

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Nigel Farage Is A Fucking Wanker It's 12:00AM

0

2

50

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Get - And I Cannot Emphasise This Enough - Fucked. It's 8:00PM

0

6

49

Swear Clock

@swearclock

5 months

Fucking Isis Are More Caring Than The Tory Cunts It's 6:00PM

1

3

52

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Some Cunts Knocking At Your Door, Some Cunts Ringing Your Bell It's 5:00AM

4

3

51

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Fall Asleep On A Hot Day Till Your Bollocks Look Like An Angry 63-Year-Old Right-Wing Cabbie In Lily Allen's Twitter Comment Section It's 1:00AM

0

6

51

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 months

The Tories Are Cunts It's 12:00PM

3

9

52

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Nigel Farage Is A Fucking Wanker It's 1:00AM

1

5

48

Swear Clock

@swearclock

6 years

A Cold Penis Unexpectedly In My Tea It's 5:30PM

1

10

49

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Swearclock is now running on YOUR SUGGESTIONS for the hourly time-check. Add swears: Read submissions: BTW: If you like this project, please throw @robmanuel a couple of quid.

0

9

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Boris Is A Twat It's 12:00AM

2

8

51

Swear Clock

@swearclock

5 months

Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits Fart Turd And Twat It's 8:00AM

3

1

48

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

Hey, I Just Rimmed You, And This Is Crazy, But I'm A Possum, And You've Got Rabies It's 9:00PM

4

6

51

Swear Clock

@swearclock

5 months

You Fucking Cunt It's 10:00PM

1

50

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Call It "Legos" Again. Say "Legos" Again. I Dare You, I Double Dare You Motherfucker, Say "Legos" One More Goddamn Time. It's 9:00PM

2

12

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

2 years

Nigel Farage Is A Fucking Wanker It's 6:00PM

2

6

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Fuck You Cancer. Fuck You Covid. Fuck You Tory Cunts. Just Fuck The Fuck Off. All Of You. It's 5:00PM

2

6

48

Swear Clock

@swearclock

7 years

Piss On My Jizz-Pipe And Call Me Liam Gallagher It's 8:30PM

2

24

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Fucking Fuck Your Fucking Fuckhole You Fucking Cunt It's 12:00PM

2

6

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

1 year

Tory Cunts. Utter, Utter Cunts. It's 10:00PM

0

8

48

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

James Corden It's 4:00PM

6

0

47

Swear Clock

@swearclock

4 years

Grease My Boobs With Man-Milk It's 6:30PM

1

42

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Stop Fucking Giggling At Inane Shit On Twitter And Do Some Fucking Work You Bone Idle Cunt It's 11:00PM

2

5

47

Swear Clock

@swearclock

6 years

Oh You Cunt! It's 6:30AM

2

6

43

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Clap For Healthcare Workers Then Vote To Cap Their Salary Like A Good Fucking Tory It's 7:00PM

1

10

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

4 years

Nigel Farage Is Still A Wanker It's 6:30PM

1

10

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Look At The Fucking State Of You, You Useless Cunt. Do You Even Know It's 7:00AM

2

8

41

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Shooting Your Jizz Into A Curry Because You Read "Cumin" Wrong It's 3:00PM

1

4

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, Old Gammony Boomer Twats, You Will Be Very, Very, Very Bastarding Disappointed By The Eventual Outcomes Of Brexit. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Daily Mail Reading Twats It's 8:00AM

2

6

44

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

J.K Rowling Solemnly Announcing On Twitter That Harry Potter Died During A 3 Way Stranglewank It's 7:00PM

0

6

45

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Spray Jizz Across A Black Canvas And Call Yourself Jackson Bollock It's 6:00PM

1

6

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Jizz On A Lateral Flow Test To See If You've Got Knob Covid It's 9:00PM

2

4

44

Swear Clock

@swearclock

5 months

Um Bongo, Um Bongo, Inject It Up Your Schlongo. And Say Goodbye To Vitamin C Deficiency It's 4:00PM

1

6

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

7 years

Fuck-A-Doodle-Doo! Fuck-A-Doodle-Doo! Fuck-A-Doodle-Doo! Fuck-A-Doodle-Doo! Fuck-A-Doodle-Doo! Fuck-A-Doodle-Doo! Fuck-A-Doodle-Doo! It's...

3

15

43

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 months

There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe. She Had So Many Children Her Cunt Fell Off. It's 9:00PM

1

3

46

Swear Clock

@swearclock

3 years

Pugh, Pugh, Barney Mcgrew, Arsehole, Wanker, Cunt. It's 4:00AM

2

46