Keara Sullivan @superkeara Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Keara Sullivan

10 days

Hi everyone! I am currently trying to raise money for a Palestinian family in urgent need of donations (you can read their story below). Please donate anything u can and please share! Here is the link to donate:

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

A perfect joke that they somehow made even funnier in the movie like the clap at the end takes me out every time hats off to the filmmakers for this one

st. jules of the knife

@shivroyfilms

2 months

happy women’s day

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Cillian Murphy winning the Oscar as the royal family rapidly declines in numbers, territory, relevance, public favor, hair? This is the Irish revenge my granny promised that I would see in my lifetime…

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

4 months

Whenever I discover a really fucked up law and google its origins

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 years

When someone says they don’t need to get vaccinated bc “herd immunity” will protect them

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

As a kid I thought u only got ur period once and after that u were fertile til menopause so when I got my 1st period I was like “oof well at least that’s over with!” And then my mom informed me it would be a monthly recurrence for the next 30+ yrs and I fell to my knees screaming

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

7 months

With friendships I have what I like to call “outdoor cat attachment style.” Some weeks u will see me a ton and other weeks u will not know if I’m dead or alive but don’t worry I still love u I will not forget u

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 years

Me whenever i discover a random bruise on my leg

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

11 days

Best friends are so crazy like wow this person would kill for me but also if I mispronounce a word in front of them they will make fun of me for it forever

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Had to stop playing Mario Kart bc getting hit w the blue shell turns me into a fox news anchor I start saying shit like “So I’m being punished for being in 1st? It’s not my fault the other racers are lazy and didn’t put in the mf work like I did to get good at this game”

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 year

My dad loves having us home for the holidays <3

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Whoever designed Quora’s interface needs to die bc instead of showing me ANSWERS to my very specific question u show me OTHER QUESTIONS??? Fuck you if I knew who u were I would curse ur whole bloodline

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

10 months

My friend recently told me of a conversation we had years ago in which apparently he insulted my sweater and my response was “Well all of your clothes look like you got them for free after running a 5K.” He said he thinks about this all the time.

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

23yr old trad wives r so bold for saying shit like “Why I traded in a career & climbing the corporate ladder for homemaking.” Like… didn’t u get married at 21? I don’t think quitting ur college internship counts as trading in an established CAREER girl like be serious

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

29 days

My favorite part of the Twilight movies is when Bella’s body undergoes all the vampire yaasifications and among them is a subtle yet defined shimmering smokey eyes look… how did the vampire magic learn this eyeshadow tutorial… the blending work is masterful

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

I love feeling represented in literature (Reading the DSM-5 rn)

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

4 months

“I would peel oranges for you” forget oranges can u help me peel off this yellow wallpaper I need to free the woman trapped behind it and no I’m NOT crazy

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

6 months

When a comedian starts their set by saying “This is totally gonna get me cancelled!!” this image instantly pops into my brain

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

6 months

If u ever think ur stupid just know that one time a guy asked me what my “attachment style” was and I didn’t know what that meant so I said “PDF if it’s over email I hate when people send it as a word doc”

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

7 months

Me looking at the flight attendant while she passes out snacks so she sees I’m awake and doesn’t forget to give me a little bag of pretzels

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

4 months

Idk how to explain fully but it feels like the 4th wave feminist message of “You can be a girly girl while also being strong and empowered” is starting to get overcorrected and warped into “Anything considered girly is also intrinsically feminist & cannot be questioned”

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

7 months

“Would you ever delete social media?”Hmm. Would a jester ever flee his court? Or would he understand the infallible truth that a jest, when spoken to a court of none, becomes a tragedy?

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

6 months

Insane that all i was given for my IUD insertion was ibuprofen and a stress ball… I should’ve gotten a flask of whiskey and a leather strap to bite on like those guys who get their legs amputated in civil war movies

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

30 days

Ik the point of all cult documentaries is anyone can fall into a cult but I rly don’t see it happening for me just bc I’m sooo lazy and the odds of me signing up for an empowerment or healing workshop are below zero like I hate having stuff to do

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

17 days

So funny to me whenever a friend asks me “Can I just be a bitch for a second?” like do u even know me at all OF COURSE u can be a bitch for a second take as many seconds as u need I’d literally love nothing more

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

5 months

“No use crying over spilt milk” ok well I don’t cry to be useful I cry to express my heart and make myself the center of attention

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 month

U know ur east coast is showing when u experience an earthquake for the 1st time and ur first thought is “NO the apartment building is collapsing from structural damages and my shitty landlord NOOO”

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

11 months

I don’t want to practice mindfulness. If get any more aware of what’s going on around me I’m gonna start blacking out and speaking in riddles

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Javert is the most accurate depiction of a police officer in fiction bc in his mind he’s on a The Punisher style life-or-death justice quest but to everyone else he’s just wasting taxpayer resources in a pursuit that no one asked for

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are the real life version of Frog and Toad

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

Whenever I have imposter syndrome I simply think of Taylor Swift’s stylist and it serves as a comforting reminder that sometimes you actually don’t have to be good at your job

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

4 months

I’ll never forget the time I showed my friend a picture of my crush and after a very long moment of silence she went “Ultimately I just think we have different types”

jeune femme 🇩🇲🇯🇲

@_xyzeee

4 months

I sent my friend somebody I thought was fine and she said “I love how different we are”.

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

In another life Jack Antonoff would’ve slayed working as a zookeeper. I can just picture him in a zookeeper uniform and a lil safari hat so clearly and vividly it feels almost like a memory…

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Carrie Bradshaw is the worst for a lot of reasons but her most unforgivable offense to me will always be her S1 E3 voiceover, in which she compares the tension between married women and singles to (I kid you not) THE TROUBLES IN NORTHERN IRELAND

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

5 months

Wearing a microskirt, carrying a micropurse, and ingesting microplastics I just may be the chicest woman alive

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Being over 6ft tall is crazy like get the hell down from there! How did u even get up there in the first place ur gonna get hurt ur stressing me out!!

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

10 months

The most attractive thing a man can do is be your coworker

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

11 months

U should not have to experience life lessons in the summertime this is not the season for learning this is the season of hot and stupid

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Duuuude you should have been there last night was a The Cut essay

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

10 months

I have never in my life read a haiku and not counted out the syllables just to double check it’s actually a haiku. not sure where this haiku suspicion of mine comes from… perhaps childhood

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

9 months

When it comes to cinema capturing the experience of womanhood, we must NOT forget the 2012 Katy Perry doc scene in which Russell Brand asks for a divorce minutes before her biggest show and Katy, still in tears, straps on her cupcake bra and turns it out

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

4 years

The dean of NYU tisch told us we weren’t getting any partial tuition refunds and instead suggested we “keep a journal” I wish I was kidding

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Funniest part of the Bible is when Jesus curses a fig tree for having no figs when he’s hungry bc the Bible specifically points out that it just wasn’t fig season but Jesus is still like wow ok so now it’s personal now me and this tree have beef this tree is my nemesis

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

10 months

I don’t condone slut shaming but I do think that medieval folks calling someone a “common whore” was a 10/10 insult. Like you’re not even a special whore, ur whoring isn’t even notable, you’re just one of the many

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 month

Hate it when holiday movies make up tropes like when a character goes “Tell her how you feel! Christmas is the time for telling the truth!” No it’s literally not? No one has said this about Christmas ever! In fact it’s probably the holiday that involves the most lying!

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

5 months

Babies shouldn’t be staring at screens all day they should be staring at strangers in public, making them feel awkward and uncomfortable with their blank unwavering gaze

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

Kinda sick of this new “friends aren’t obligated to” brand of tweets. When my friend had a broken foot i wasn’t obligated to help her move out of her 3 floor walk up but she needed help and I care about her so I hauled my ass over and got moving!

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

5 months

I never make rules for myself about limiting screen time bc ultimately I’d just be setting yet another unrealistic expectation on a woman

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

5 months

Last Christmas I gave u my heart and the very next day you gave me the ick

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

11 months

I promise i wont tell anyone ur secret except for my roommates, my sisters, and my friends from hs who live in another state anyways so it doesn’t rly matter if they know

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

4 months

This is the kind of shit that makes me so fucking angry I start to worry about my soul being corrupted by hate like I’m filled with so much venom that I’m genuinely considering going to confession

Rudy Campbell

@rudybcampbell

4 months

Sydney Sweeney through the duct tape after i yell “OH YEAH, U LIKE THAT?!”

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

5 months

Maybe sex scenes in movies aren’t “necessary” but what is true cinema if not giving audiences a horny little treat mid movie? What is art without horniness? It is death

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

7 months

“Do you want your receipt printed or emailed?” I don’t want a receipt at all I can’t be reminded that I paid $7 for a latte burn all accounts of this transaction

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Whenever a hate comment calls me ugly I have to lol like sorry but ur wrong! I know for a FACT I’m not ugly bc back in 2020 I babysat this 11yr old girl and when she saw me without my covid mask for the first time her instant reaction was to yell “AW YAY YOU’RE PRETTY!”

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

@EmmaTolkin Lol this is my tiktok!!

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

No no no u cannot “I’m literally just a girl” ur way out this one sister ur I’m Just a Girl card has been declined due to a stunning amount of overdraft fees the bank is knocking at the door and they want answers

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

11 months

It’s so fucking funny that we make American versions of British tv shows like we literally speak the same language there’s no reason to remake it other than not wanting to look at British people

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 month

Reminder that after the saddest “It’s so over..” comes the most powerful “WE’RE SO FUCKING BACK!”

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 month

Oh fuck off with the “straws cause wrinkles” fear mongering some of us will be getting mouth wrinkles from sucking regardless of straw use and I’ll just leave it at that

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

The angry british replies on this r so funny to me omg. U people r always going on about much darker and edgier and less sensitive “british humor” is compared to American humor but once the royal family’s involved suddenly ur knickers r in a twist!!

Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Cillian Murphy winning the Oscar as the royal family rapidly declines in numbers, territory, relevance, public favor, hair? This is the Irish revenge my granny promised that I would see in my lifetime…

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

30 days

What if I told you that every human actually has a free built in anti-aging straw that is their mouth? You simply put your mouth on the rim of your cup and sip no straw required it’s an amazing technology

bethany

@fiImgal

1 month

this is… 😭

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

I hope The Cut pays their personal essay staff well bc the things those writers admit to… you could not waterboard that information out of me I would take that to my death

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

Survivor contestant: I’m a police officer but I told everyone I’m a mailman so they won’t see me as a threat and I think they bought it Everyone else on the tribe: Yo I’m 99% sure that mailman dude is for sure a cop he gives off huge cop energy

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

4 months

The hottest thing a girl can be is at Dave & Busters

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

I could never be the Final Girl in a horror movie who fights on even after her whole crew gets slaughtered. Having to build a whole new friend group from scratch seems like a fate worse than death so just finish the job Krueger let’s get this over with

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

8 months

Unfortunately I cannot explain the gap in my resume as those records were sadly lost in the burning of The Library of Alexandria :(

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 month

This sounds crazy but I rly do think that if Pope Francis just called Biden & threatened to excommunicate his ass for funding a genocide… it could make a big difference. Banished by the Vatican in the year 2024? Nothing could be more humiliating for Joe it’s the ultimate weapon

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

10 months

@lisabeej U can quite literally hear him tell me this story in real time on his podcast lol

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

This is why going to work as a redhead w curly hair and a tummy is so painful… like if I lived back in the 1500s I could’ve been be booked and busy by the greatest artists of all time to lounge in bed half naked all day… they would see God in my laziness and immortalize me

emma .｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

@dreamgirlism

2 months

this diva

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

30 days

J.K Rowling’s presence on twitter makes me yearn for the days when writers were difficult alcoholic recluses like at least that lifestyle had a certain mystique

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

10 months

“That’s like taking candy from a baby” oh so u mean it’s super responsible? A baby shouldn’t be eating candy it’s a choking hazard I would be saving that baby’s life I’d be a hero!!

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 year

When male comedians get really jacked and transition into action movie roles they start to give off the same eerie vibe that this image does and i can’t explain why

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

11 months

I don’t have an ovulation tracker I just wait til I get the urge to search “Smooth Criminal glee scene” on Youtube and then I know it has taken hold

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 month

Seeing Dakota Johnson star in a bad superhero movie is so sad to me it’s like seeing a Texas based TikToker post a video of their Husky… like that’s not where they’re supposed to be surely they can’t be happy

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 year

Saw this woman at the airport and she’s my new hero (Yassified to maintain anonymity)

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

7 months

Love Bella Swan bc her solution to every problem she encounters is “I’m gonna kill myself” and that’s such relatable queen behavior

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

I feel like super defensive stan culture usually does more harm to the artist’s brand than good. If ur overexposed to an artist + feel u can’t ever criticize them without getting mobbed online by stans, ur inevitably gonna start to resent that artist even more

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Love Story by Taylor Swift is so funny story wise bc the whole song is about how forbidden their love is and how her dad is so opposed they may have to run away and then at the very end it’s “hey I talked to ur dad he’s chill now woohoo!” Like yes I love an easy solution!!

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

@bluegivemeaclue It was my tiktok lol

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 month

Back in middle school I would seriously post these macbook selfies to Google Buzz for all my peers to see and then spend the rest of the day deeply puzzled racking my brain as to why no boys liked me

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 year

He told me he’s “not looking for anything serious” which is such a relief bc I’m sooo goofy like I’m not serious at all

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

Hmm as a practicing Catholic maybe he should focus more on the fact that he’s currently funding what the literal Pope called terrorism against Palestine

AlexGangitano

@AlexGangitano

3 months

BIDEN tonight at a fundraiser in NYC: “I’m a practicing Catholic. I don’t want abortion on demand but I thought Roe v Wade was right.”

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 years

Rest in peace Daft Punk ❤️

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

@clur19 U have literally won at life it’s amazing to see its possible

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

5 months

Sometimes I feel bad about being single but then someone will be like “The key to a successful relationship is working at it every single day” and I’m like ok never mind not interested that sounds like a lot

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

14 days

The Israeli government has killed over 13,00 Palestinian children in Gaza and the smashing of a window pane, an INANIMATE OBJECT, is what outrages you? If u think peace is won by carrying around a fucking boombox blasting Where is The Love by the black eyed peas grow the fuck up

Ritchie Torres

@RitchieTorres

15 days

So much for “peaceful protests” at Columbia University. Violence is not a bug but a feature of the pro-Hamas encampment movement, which has a deep rot of Anti-Americanism and AntiSemitism at its core.

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

Conservatives calling AOC a “fake catholic” bc she doesn’t talk about it publicly is so funny bc that’s literally THE most catholic behavior. Catholics who r rly loud about their faith get accused of “acting like a protestant” which, in catholicism, is the ultimate insult

Christy

@Christydaou22

3 months

@RepAOC @AOC Interesting. I’ve never heard you even mention Christ before.

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

29 days

Say what u want ab J.K Rowling but the innovations she’s making within the field of loserdom are groundbreaking she’s unlocked new levels of loser behavior I never knew to be possible (and no I’m not afraid of getting sued I’m confident this will hold up in court as fact)

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

8 months

There must be something other than eating healthy, exercising, and meditation that can make me happy in life… perhaps some sort of drug ?

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 year

I miss back when women were mentally ill and doctors proscribed going to the seaside because “the salt air would do her well” like tbh i think that would fix me

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

“The Tortured Poets Department” you mean Ireland? The land with perhaps the highest tortured yet brilliant poets per capita? If this department isn’t at the very least based in Ireland it holds no legitimacy

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

Btw if u have to rack ur brain to try and understand why the funding of an ethnic cleansing would be a key issue for voters and the best u can come up with is “virtue signaling” then u are actually a sociopath! Not sure if ur aware of ur condition, thought u should know!

Jail fossil fuel execs

@steamyporkbuns

2 months

I’m sorry but people who treat Israel-Palestine as the deciding issue of the 2024 election are so fucking annoying. I get it if you’re literally Palestinian and/or personally affected but everyone else is such virtue signaling. Ukraine has ten times the casualties

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 month

REJECT the modern way of buccal fat removal and EMBRACE the long proud tradition of cherub cheeks !!

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 year

Every month i suddenly get new symptoms that match some specific and serious disease and each month it turns out it was just my period on its way

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

4 months

Make sure you check in on ur funny friends… a lot of us aren’t going thru anything per se but just really thrive off attention

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

1 year

If you ask a creative type guy in Brooklyn to name one woman whose work they admire this is exactly what the minutes long pause from them looks like

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

2 months

I know Frank Herbert’s intention when writing Stilgar wasn’t to make him an allegory for Twitter swifties but they do in fact talk and behave in identical fashions

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

13 days

I don’t think the democratic party grasps just how much damage they’ve done with voters. Call me naive but growing up I really did believe our system could work if only dems held office. I don’t believe that anymore. Everyday I feel we’re more beyond hope and I am so so angry.

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

Girl dinner girlhood girl math mean girl not a girls girl ENOUGH! I’m declaring a temporary ban on the word “girl” until we can get this shit under CONTROL! In the meantime, refer to synonyms such as lassie, chick, broad, dame, gal, etc.

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

6 months

U know ur down bad when all of a sudden you start finding your way back to Catholicism

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Keara Sullivan

@superkeara

3 months

Recently learned I have a “retroverted uterus,” meaning my uterus leans back instead of standing upright…. Seems I am chill and laid back and unbothered and cool on all levels even those previously unknown to me

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