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Sarah-Jane Murphy Profile
Sarah-Jane Murphy

@sjanemurf

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Life on Life’s Terms 🙏🏼

Dublin, Ireland
Joined October 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
“We’re going for another fucking walk” says Ava, my friend’s four yr old to her Granddad on the ☎️ when asked if she has plans for the day.
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
An elderly man held door for me & promptly apologised, saying maybe he shouldn’t in this day & age. So I kissed him on the cheek & told him to continue to live dangerously 💋
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Take a Mo-ment to remember this force for good on the 21st anniversary of the GFA 💜
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Suspended parliaments are her preferred method of governing.
@BBCNewsNI
BBC News NI
5 years
DUP leader Arlene Foster has said Prime Minister Boris Johnson is "well within his rights" to suspend Parliament.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Public service announcement: People leaving cruel comments under Michéal Martin’s interview about the loss of his *two* young children are scum. End.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
2 months
Accidentally left phone on LUAS when got off, one stop from terminus. PANICKED. Tore 🏃‍♀️ over to opposite platform and prayed approaching tram was THE SAME ONE. Frantically waved @ driver. He dangled my phone out of his teeny window: “Yer Ma’s been ringing.” 😅
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Major backfire. A few weeks ago me & my cousins devoured most of a tin of Quality St in mom’s house. Afterwards I put some pebbles & a note in it saying: “This is payback for stealing my mini twirls”. Mom just told me she gave it to the parish priest for his 70th.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
Jury selection, CCJ, yesterday. Man: I can’t serve; I’m away for weekend. Judge: We don’t sit at weekends. Man: I’m away till Monday. I’m 54, a bachelor & it’s my 1st time in love. Judge: Then you GO and you GO with my blessing. It was truly an epic moment ❤️
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
2 years
NOT NORMAL
@JamieBrysonCPNI
Jamie Bryson
2 years
Absolutely incredible work from the lads in Portadown. Well done to all involved 🇬🇧🇬🇧
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
As Ireland begins to open up tomorrow after many months, let’s remember that many independent retailers are facing uncertain futures. They haven’t done this before, it’s all new territory. Plastering their ‘mistakes’ on social media to garner likes isn’t helpful. Be sound 💚
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
My new accountant: “So, what’s your relationship situation?” Me: “Well. There was this guy a year or two back that I never really got over,” *several minutes later* Me: “So that’s that, kinda.” Him: “Single or married will suffice for tax purposes.”
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
Woke up to news that friend had taken his life. He was 49. Three kids. Loving wife. Thriving business. A note, written on back of a Tesco receipt. He couldn’t bring himself to say how sad he felt. Didn’t want to trouble them. Please open your mouth, it could save your life 💔
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
The state of this. I’d like to propose a motion of NO CONFIDENCE
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Your next court appearance?
@TheNotoriousMMA
Conor McGregor
5 years
Dublin, December 14th.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Is death not punishment enough?
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
He’s making a list He’s checking it twice He’s gonna find out who’s naughty and nice Tony H is coming to town.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
I’m all for Black Lives Matter but did the thousands who gave the two fingers to social distancing & the 5KM rule reckon the virus had taken the Bank Holiday off?
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
A 91yo lady in @tesco in Dundrum asked me exactly what eye shadow & mascara I used. So I told her but she was worried she’d forget. So off we went to BT2 downstairs together & she bought the lot in MAC. Had such fun with her 💋
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
Take a minute to remember Mo Mowlam today. She carried herself, and the peace process, with dignity, sensitivity and competence ⭐️
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
In my mind, the very best thing Dr Ronan Glynn could do is to request/stipulate/insist/demand that the Mr Stephen Donnelly sit beside him at press conferences, face the public & tell us what’s the PLAN, STAN?
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Instead of moaning about the Govt/NPHET perhaps focus on the fact that it is OUR BEHAVIOURS over the coming weeks that will dictate where we as a country are headed. It’s over to us now. Be responsible.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
“Really uncomfortable to watch” 🤔 My Dad, when in his early 40’s, shook for a time before he was diagnosed with Multiple System Atrophy. All I see is a brave lady, capable of doing her job. Leave her the hell alone.
@darrenmccaffrey
Darren McCaffrey
5 years
WATCH: German Chancellor seen shaking for third time in less than a month... It’s yet again really uncomfortable to watch but can everything still just been “fine”?
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
The least we deserve @MichealMartinTD as a people, is a Government press conference. It isn’t Professor Philip Nolan’s job to tell us what kind of a summer we are facing into. It’s blurring the lines to the point of dizziness and it excoriates your credibility.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
This morning my taxi man took an alternative route “cuz yer concentratin’ doing yer mascara and there’s massive ramps on the other road” The freedom of the City to you, Sir ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Poor Conor McGregor. It’s almost as if there’s, I dunno, a pattern starting to emerge.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
If I could make one Cabinet change I’d move Harris back to Health & give Lahart Higher Education. Donnelly can be in charge of the raffle at the FF Ard Fheis 😐
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Just a reminder that a Garda station is the appropriate place for an alleged crime to be reported, the DPP is the designated body that decides if an evidence threshold is met & a jury makes a decision whether to acquit/convict. Twitter on the other hand is a social media site.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
Japanese tourists in Killiney DART station taking photos of the information board. I asked why. “Because train is late. It’s exceptional.” If only they knew.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Unlike so many mediocre interviewers, Tommy Tiernan understands that there’s a reason God gave us TWO ears and ONE mouth. He listens. Simples. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
When someone makes an honest mistake context is important. Eamon Ryan was *calling out* racism, not *perpetrating* it. Cancel culture is one of the things I dislike most about our outrage-rich society.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Bumped into an ex-boyfriend’s Dad this morning. From age 18-23 it’s fair to say I practically lived in their house 😬 “We were so spoiled with you. We couldn’t quite take to the replacements.” Year made 😂
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
The way we, as a nation, treat the loss of Det. Garda Horkan as tantamount to a personal loss is in stark contrast to the public perception of many police forces across the United States. Blessed are we...
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Got off DART suddenly this morning, feeling dizzy. Two strangers saw me staggering towards door & disembarked, bought me a sweet tea & sat with me. Teenagers get plenty of bad press but these two were gentleman ☺️
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
When someone you love has cancer & they’re very young & one of the best humans you know, your tolerance levels for utter gobshites who don’t know how good they have it is very low.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Exactly *14 days* since this 🤔 pic: @RTEsport
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Visited a dear friend in St Pat’s this morning. He can only see blackness & bleakness at the moment. He can’t bear the thought of a warm, sunlit summer stretching out ahead of him. If you’re feeling good today remember to be grateful. The alternative is pure hell.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Three years ago a wonderful couple contacted me, bewildered by ‘the system’. Their struggle for justice was only beginning. Finally I can tell Zoe’s story 👇🏼 The story of ‘Zoe’, the youngest sex-abuse case ever heard in Irish courts via @IrishTimes
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Lockdown lectures from a man who can’t keep to the speed limit, punched a 50-something in the face, smashed a fan’s phone & got done for disorderly misconduct. Get the boat.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Do any of the 54,000 who flew into Dublin Airport over Christmas & NY and didn’t quarantine realise what they did? Don’t tell me this is all on the Government.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Give this woman a Coppers Gold Card immediately 👸🏻
@bbcquestiontime
BBC Question Time
5 years
‘Ireland owes this country nothing�� @Bonn1eGreer says Britain cannot ‘shaft’ Ireland if they want a post Brexit trade agreement with the US. #bbcqt
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Good man Leo Varadkar 🏥 Damned if you do & damned if you don’t 🥱 Rise above it 💪🏼
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Easy to apportion blame to the Government, the HSE, Nphet. Harder to take a look at the times one’s own behaviour was less that model this past month & resolve to do better. Every individual’s action has serious consequences, more now than ever.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Now you’d presume after the 1st wave that the Dept of Ed would have put in place a comprehensive online learning system & the Dept of Children & YA would have put in place substantial supports for a second & third wave. Wouldn’t you. Wouldn’t you?
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
@daracalleary I’ve a question. Did you a) think you’d get away with it unnoticed OR b) dismiss the regulations because they’re for other people. It’s one or the other. You didn’t arrive there by accident. You made a decision.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
I’d much rather see increased & merciless Garda enforcement measures rather than a jump to Level 5. Fines & terms of imprisonment will put manners on some who give guidelines the two fingers.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
This is a public service announcement: Please do not use the word ‘math’ if you are Irish. Thank you.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Who would be a politician. Varadkar is on a weekend away, off duty. What’s next, lambasting him for getting on a crowded Tube 🙄 All politicians deserve privacy in their downtime.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
ATM que in Dalkey: Man whispers to me: “I love to see a woman wearing a short skirt.” Me (bluffing): “I’ll let your wife know. I know her well.” 👊🏻
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
I just helped a guy reverse into an easy parking spot, ignoring his melodramatic hand signals telling me he was OK. Payback 💁🏻‍♀️
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
There isn’t a person in the land right now who isn’t thoroughly pissed off with day to day life. So let’s remember that when interacting with each other. Capiche?
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
If only Bobby Storey’s funeral hadn’t demonstrated a complete disregard for guidelines & ZERO resignations, then SF would have a leg to stand on. Unfortunate. 🤔
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
I have a joke about the RTÉ Player but it crashed before I could get to the end of
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Change is such a seductive word. ‘Change’, fueled by anger, gave us Donald Trump and Brexit. So vote with your intellect & not with your frustration on Saturday. The only person you’ll be punching in the long term is yourself. In the face.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
2 years
The words ‘win’ and ‘Graham Dwyer’ in the same sentence sicken me.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
21 years ago today, in eerily similar blistering weather, we laid this man & his moustache to rest. He’s been subtly guiding me through the good times & the bad times ever since 🥰
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Scary how quickly people have forgotten IMF boots on the ground here & all it entailed. As a newly qualified solicitor in 2008 my life & lives of my friends changed irreversibly. Don’t let FF fob you off with a ‘global recession’ line. Only 3 EU countries needed a bailout 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
1 year
When yer Da owns you in a teenage shouting match
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
@rtenews Change the record NPHET. Update your narrative. Take the vaccination programme into account. People have been doing their best for so long now and have switched off from this repetitive plea.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
A Garda on Kildare St just asked me if I’m part of the farmers protest. So I’m off home to change & burn the clothes I was wearing. Pity 😁
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
You massive arse licker 😘🇮🇪
@GaryLineker
Gary Lineker
5 years
An utterly sensational round from @ShaneLowryGolf under the fierce pressure of local expectancy. An Irish winner on the island of Ireland would be seriously special. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
If the DPP was a publicly elected position, as in other countries, this decision should see her run out of office 👇🏼 Decision not to charge teens over Waterford acid attack upheld
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Caroline Flack’s death should make those who fire online abuse at our politicians feel thoroughly ashamed. But it won’t. We have normalized hate. There’s no way back.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
2 years
What 👏🏼 A 👏🏼 PRESIDENT
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
2 years
What’s next? Mandatory contraception? Mandatory chemo? Mandatory sterilisation? Tony needs to be stopped. Now. I say this as a double vaxxed & boosted human.
@IrishTimes
The Irish Times
2 years
Department of Health preparing paper on legal and ethical aspects of such a move
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
He’s my person of the year, no doubt about it ⭐️
@WHO
World Health Organization (WHO)
3 years
"When we say #healthworkers are priority to get #COVID19 vaccine - does that mean only some health workers or is that all health workers?" - @DrMikeRyan 's food for thought over upcoming holidays ⬇️ #ACTogether
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
To the taxi man, plate number 18345, driving an 09 Mondeo along Ushers Quay this evening: It’s not OK to repeatedly hit the outside of your car door with your hand & call me a stupid, fat, ugly, bitch, cu*t because I stopped at an orange light. You need help.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
Any device that prevents him from talking is a solid investment 👍🏼
@TheNotoriousMMA
Conor McGregor
6 years
White teeth in 10 minutes with @hismileteeth . Go to to get yours #ad
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Poor Eamon Ryan. That’s why I choose a double espresso over sustainably grown nettle tea 🙈
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Someone reminded me of text I sent yrs ago to a friend on her Dad’s 1st anniversary. “He’s smoking now xxx” instead of “He’s smiling now xxx” The man was cremated. Yep.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Speculation that the body parts found in Coolock are that of a 17-yo boy. Teenagers found the sports bag containing the limbs. A threat was issued on social media that he would be killed and dismembered. Let that sink in. Ireland 2020. Savagery
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Public service announcement: Nobody is interested in how many steps you walked today. No one. Not even your soulmate. Thank you.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Honestly think April 5 is all most people can give. Nothing left in the tank mentally, financially, socially.
@Independent_ie
Irish Independent
3 years
The country looks set to face tough restrictions until some time in June
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
You’d be quicker to walk to Montrose & ask them for a copy of the tape rather than watch something on the player 👊🏻
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
A nurse friend from Kilkenny remarks that when lockdown feels frustrating think of the family of the wonderful person they had to put in a body bag yesterday before their time & how they couldn’t touch her in her last days 💔 Works for me.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
The case numbers are rising. There’s a growing nonchalant attitude about a potentially fatal virus. The nation feels rudderless as regards leadership. The Minister for Health is hiding. The sense of reassurance has evaporated. It’s unsettling 😔
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
@RebekahVardy @ColeenRoo You were leaking the stories whilst ‘heavily pregnant’ Hun 🤣
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
What I wouldn’t give for PRECEDENTED times 😩
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Accepted a job offer today for a role that I cannot wait to get stuck into 🤐 And thus begins my third career, and me not even 40 yet 😂
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Visited friend in St. Pat’s. He’s having electroconvulsive therapy as last resort to treat crippling depression. Side effects horrendous but he’ll do anything to get peace of mind. A perfectly content guy just 2 yrs ago. Reminder not to take good mental health for granted 😔💔
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
Here’s what 100% capacity looked like at 8:45 this morning. So please, stop ranting about what a potential danger it is 😉
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
This lady was the Principal at my school. You couldn’t meet a more inspiring, selfless, forward thinking, modern nun. This breaks my heart.
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
So far this campaign @LeoVaradkar has been labeled ‘autistic’, had his ethnicity dismissed as not Irish enough & had homophobic remarks thrown at him. (Catherine Noone + Paddy Holohan) He has accepted both apologies with real grace, far better than i would 🤷🏻‍♀️
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
Woman: ‘White coffee, please.’ Barista: ‘Latte, Cappucino or flat white?’ Woman: ‘’Get offa the stage. Coffee with milk. Jaysus.’ I ❤️ Ballybrack
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
It’s the 5KM thing that makes me want to scream. Everything else I can (begrudgingly) handle 🤷🏻‍♀️
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
2 years
It isn’t right that @RiochtConor2 who provided a public forum with accurate & verifiable data on the single biggest issue in our lives at present has suspended his a/c because he can’t be dealing with abuse & nastiness from *strangers*. Shame on those who were a part of it.
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Handsome man in coffee queue looks me straight in eye, tilts his gorgeous head & says: “Well hello. Where’ve you been hiding all this time?” Smooooooth. I smiled & was poised to answer when realised he was on a HANDSFREE PHONE. I shouldn’t be allowed out unaccompanied 🤦🏻‍♀️
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
I was in Crumlin last night & a lad cycling by says “It’s a cold night and you’re a fine lookin sight.” I’m so stealing that line
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Unpopular opinion: That’s way harsh on Sean O’Rourke. Way way harsh. He’s a private citizen who made a massive mistake.
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Carb-loading like a mofo today in advance of the Dublin Marathon. I’m not taking part. Just supporting those who are 💅🏼
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
2 years
The HSE/Govt had 20 months to prepare for this ‘wave’. Hate the word. We are 200 intensive care beds below the European average. And they’re surprised re ‘surge’.
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
How it started v how it’s going
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Text from mom: “Did you say ‘Shut the F Up’ on twitter recently?” I’m 37.
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Pearse Doherty telling @SarahAMcInerney that SF believe the Covid Unemployment Payment should continue until the end of the year at a cost of €4.1bn (😳) tells me all I need to know about SFs ambitions to be in govt in the near future. A great bunch of lads.
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
When a person tells you they’re on anti-depressants it is not your cue to cite a plethora of negative, half-true ‘facts’ about these meds. Rather, wish the person well & ask them how they are responding to treatment in time. Medication for mental illness *can* save lives.
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
If hurling abuse at politicians via social media is part of your Christmas Day then kindly reassess your life 💁🏻‍♀️
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
3 years
@FergalBowers NPHET would do well to remember that life is riddled with risk but the beautiful thing about it is that it’s for living 🥳
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@sjanemurf
Sarah-Jane Murphy
6 years
Racism works both ways, John.
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
5 years
Bonnie Greer stood up for us like nobody’s business & how do we repay her? The Ray D’Arcy Show 🤭
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
For a man who has waited 30 years to be Taoiseach, Micheal Martin could have fooled me. FYI @MichealMartinTD we’d rather be sick of the sight of you than wondering why you’re not as worried as we are.
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Sarah-Jane Murphy
4 years
Leo’s Lark in the Park confirms that homophobia & racism are thriving in Lockdown Ireland 😐
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