yamini :) @showmetheyamz Twitter profile

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yamini :)

6 months

we're in post-production for @calisoberfilm btw :) every day is one day closer to unleashing our girlie stoner buddy comedy onto the world!! support us:

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yamini :)

@showmetheyamz

2 years

when i was a kid i didn’t realize that the song “i saw mommy kissing santa claus” meant that daddy was santa claus. i was like “holy shit... mommy’s an adulterer”

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

m d 🤝 ental health is important

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

pfizer is fda approved but moderna is dolly parton approved so who’s really winning here

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

how do we tell hollywood that nobody wants to see the pandemic on tv. we are depressed, unemployed, and existentially plagued. we long for escapism

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@showmetheyamz

9 months

the day i turned 25, my frontal lobe arrived on my doorstep in an amazon box. i’ve been making great decisions and exuding charm every day since

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

stoner boys and astrology girls are a sacred alliance

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

i hope after covid we can all recognize that no party needs to start later than 9 pm

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

white people will cry while watching a video of a dog wearing a cone and then go vote no on basic human rights

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

friendly reminder that race fetishism is racism <3

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

when i say “sorry i’m crazy” and he says “that’s ok” instead of “no you’re not”

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@showmetheyamz

8 months

covid

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

people who hate valentine’s day are ten million times more annoying than people who are obnoxiously in love

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

every bad bitch grew up wanting to be a marine biologist until they realized it was STEM

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

actually it’s downright dystopian that rapists get to decide who deserves reproductive rights

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

wearing a bodysuit is so humiliating. why am i tits out in the starbucks bathroom

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

my boobs are so big cause my brain was overflowing with genius and had to put it somewhere else

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@showmetheyamz

3 months

barbie getting a nom for best picture but not best director is so weird cause like. no one walked away from that thinking “that was the best movie of the year” but everyone walked away from that thinking how they should let more women direct big budget FUN MOVIES

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

microdosing motherhood by having male roommates

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

rush limbaugh? sorry i’m not really interested in greek life

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@showmetheyamz

4 months

ok jeff bezos, i wasn’t familiar with your game

Figen

@TheFigen_

4 months

This trainer walks better than most women.

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

we spend a lot of time talking about pad thai when we really should be talking about pad see ew

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

my boyfriend came out as bisexual and it’s like… stop copying everything i do

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

a few months after my brother was born, i changed his diaper for the first time. i was 5 and didn’t know that people have different parts, so i sobbed to my mom like “why is rohan like that he doesn’t deserve that can we please get him help” and she was like... girl it’s a penis

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

ben shapiro’s wife, if you are reading this, i volunteer to eat your pussy one time just to show you what you deserve queen

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@showmetheyamz

9 months

MOVING APARTMENTS IS SO EMOTIONAL??? IDC HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN THERE OR IF YOU EVEN LIKED THE PLACE!!! ITS JUST LIKE WOW… I EXPERIENCED ALL THESE THINGS IN THIS PLACE AND NOW IM NEVER COMING BACK HERE AGAIN???

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@showmetheyamz

11 months

dream bf: - bisexual - confident to the point where it’s delusional - breadwinner who knows i’m the star - hype man - hobbies guy - optimist - in therapy - grew up with sisters - curly hair - clean toes

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@showmetheyamz

5 months

that one gorgeous lesbian couple:

Variety

@Variety

5 months

CILLIAN MURPHY + MARGOT ROBBIE ACTORS ON ACTORS DECEMBER 5

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

alcohol is poison why is nobody talking about that

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

i don't like gen z/millenial discourse because as a cusp kid it just feels like watching my parents fight and having to confront the fact that i've inherited both of their irritating character flaws

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@showmetheyamz

1 year

idk how to explain it but he is their son

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

all hot people of color have That Moment when they realize they aren't ugly,,,, beauty standards are just White

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

if “capitalism breeds innovation” why don’t printers work

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

capitalism is getting… simply unfathomable!!! anyway if one of u has a part time job for me <333 hmu when i don’t feel like shit anymore

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

“jackie ends up with fez” is up there with “winston becomes a cop” in terms of cruelest plotlines in sitcom history

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

sorry italians, but if anyone’s a “white person of color” it’s gingers

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@showmetheyamz

8 months

himym deserves the levels of vitriol that friends gets

no context sitcoms ☮︎ 🍉

@oocsitcoms

8 months

be honest you guys… is this show worth it…

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

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@showmetheyamz

10 months

she did barbenheimer four years before any of us

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

imagine receiving this text

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

one of my best friends ghosted me out of the blue a few years ago and to this day every time i see his name it makes me cry. i have dreams about him still, frequently. that shit hurts so much more than a breakup

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@showmetheyamz

8 months

i have the most loser gf x popular gf story imaginable… in college, i got tickets to a special screening of eighth grade moderated by bo burnham. i went with my then girlfriend. i was sobbing the whole time, she got up and left halfway through because it was “too unrelatable”.

sapphics

@sapphicncpts

8 months

loser gf x popular gf

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@showmetheyamz

10 days

13 year old girl came in to my barista job and asked “can i get one espresso? wait actually what’s in an espresso?” so thank u sabrina carpenter

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@showmetheyamz

10 months

having 2 crushes > having 0 crushes > having 1 crush in terms of overall mental stability

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@showmetheyamz

4 months

mommy issues = eating disorder daddy issues = personality disorder

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

harry styles used to dress well but then everybody started calling him a gender fluid icon and now he dresses like a disney channel teen from 2008

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

women with bipolar disorder do NOT get this kind of grace, i’ll say that much

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

once i told a guy that i hadn’t cum from sex before and after 5 minutes of missionary (i didn’t even try to fake it) he fist-bumped himself and loudly proclaimed “i’m thrilled to do what no man has ever done”

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@showmetheyamz

7 months

my general rule of thumb is that you can’t be friends with an ex until you have one new ex in between

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@showmetheyamz

11 months

he asked for an open relationship i said sure then he panicked and said i was hoping you’d say no

Shannon Woodward

@shannonwoodward

11 months

what’s the worst way you ever got dumped?

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

hello. has anyone been hella fucked up and then gone to therapy and worked on it and eventually become not so fucked up and actually feel capable of enjoying experiences and relationships... or is that a made up thing. asking for a friend

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

when i meet someone who isn’t bisexual it’s like… ok old soul!

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

ppl are always like who tf takes selfies while crying?! in my last relationship i cried every single day and i took pictures every time because subconsciously i knew that shouldn’t be happening and needed the visual help to realize that my camera roll was literally cry cry cry

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

sleep is an 8 hr free trial of death

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

my mom barged into my room moments after i had finished masturbating and i was panting like a dog but didn’t want to tell her it was because i just CAME so i told her i was feelinf out of breath and now she thinks i have covid

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

popping an adderall before sex to focus on the task at hand

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

i’m not even joking i think if instagram let everyone post swipe up links we would raise 10x the money for mutual aid

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

my favorite sex position? mish & dish: tender missionary followed by hours of juicy gossip

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

woman at target complimented my complexion and then said “skin with melatonin is always so beautiful” 💀 ma’am do you mean melanin

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

i’m bisexual (i would fuck people who got pfizer AND people who got moderna AND people who got j&j)

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@showmetheyamz

12 days

ghosting a man feels so good when u don’t have a therapist in ur ear calling it an “avoidant attachment style”

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

people from the east coast hate LA with weird visceral passion and californians are just like “new york is so fun!” “i’d love to visit rhode island sometime” “boston is gorgeous in the fall :)” and thats why i live in la

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

every guy i knew in high school thought i was smart but unattractive and every guy on the internet thinks i’m hot but dumb. which one is it boys

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

a guy i used to date told me “you’re so awesome” every time we had sex

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@showmetheyamz

10 months

i wish my Job could just be Hanging out with my Friends

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

yes i’m dating a white man, but he’s an ally (moisturizes every day)

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@showmetheyamz

5 months

two households, both alike in dignity

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

i live by two mantras: - poop before shower - pee after sex

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

just got my pussy ate by someone who spells color with a u

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

when i wanted to pierce my nose every guy i knew told me that nose piercings weren't attractive but i did it anyway and a month later i started dating a woman for two years

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

pfizer’s gonna make t shirts for international women’s day that say “the pfuture is pfemale”

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@showmetheyamz

5 months

it’s so hard being the family’s gay son and thot daughter at the same time

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

zendaya breaks my brain. am i attracted to her or am i jealous of her? do i want to make love to her or steal her identity? both? both.

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

you’re not an empath, you have complex ptsd from being forced to manage other people’s emotions at a young age

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

i have 9 months left to date and be dumped by leonardo dicaprio… someone get his publicist on the line

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

megan fox is out here breaking boundaries by showing us that hot people can be cringe too

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

i won’t believe in the premise of love is blind until they start casting uggos

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

i’m not afraid of death but i would have FOMO about my funeral

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

OMG!!! I GOT INTO NYU!!!! I’M GONNA GET CHLAMYDIA FROM TIMOTHEE CHALAMET!!!!

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

queer girls picked cody over zack

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

white people’s 23&me: in the year 1652 your maternal ancestors, renowned court jesters, settled in the irish town of killarney to escape the hullabaloo of royal life my 23&me: you are 100% broadly south asian

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

i can’t “trust my gut” i have ibs

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

ever since my breakup my therapist has been venmo requesting me for our sessions with the “❤️‍🩹” emoji and today she used the “❤️” emoji

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

work from home has been monumental for the ibs community

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

he’s a 10 but he says “doggo” and “pupper”

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

microdosing a will to live by sitting in the sun

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

i’m like twitching in my bed rn cause i hate conflict but… jesus christ sometimes u just have to say, politely, fuck you!!!!

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

my toxic trait is that i wanted to fuck holden caulfield the first time i read catcher in the rye

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@showmetheyamz

1 year

breaking news: man discovers the meaning of friendship

Retarded Trader 📈📊

@0xRetardio

1 year

A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is "Hey listen to all my problems and keep me company.... While I have se× with someone else."

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

GOOD MORNING

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

once i was using my friends phone and saw that she had a group chat with all our friends except me. i spent three nights crying about it and when i finally confronted her about it she showed me the messages… they were planning what to do for me for my birthday

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

once i let a man come inside me and immediately afterwards he casually said “btw i’m pro-life”

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

if jewish people controlled the media don’t you think they would have jewish actors playing jewish characters in like, literally one single movie

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

tbh i think being 22 should be a crime on its own

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

can’t talk right now, taking a hot girl shit

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@showmetheyamz

2 years

how i met your mother deserves the hate that friends gets

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@showmetheyamz

8 months

a movie about being a loser in middle school… UNRELATABLE! Gahahahahahahahaha.

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

this white woman in whole foods was fed up with the employees at the prepared food bar and said “god it’s like a third world country in here” then turned to me and said “and you would know!”

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

bro why do we kill people to teach people that killing people is wrong

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@showmetheyamz

3 years

on june 1st i stop being asian and start being gay

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