scharpling Profile Banner
scharpling Profile
scharpling

@scharpling

96,650
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Following
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Statuses

I host The Best Show. I co-host Double Threat. I wrote a book. I write for TV. I am one half of Scharpling & Wurster. I collect old ketchup bottles.

LA via NJ
Joined December 2008
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@scharpling
scharpling
2 years
I would like to bet everything I have that next year there will be a Superbowl commercial with Will Smith and Chris Rock eating Tostitos or something, saying "this new queso really slaps"
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@scharpling
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6 years
The BROOKLYN NINE-NINE fans got the show picked up by NBC. They claim to have the best fans ever. But I know they're wrong! Let's get BROOKLYN NINE-NINE re-canceled and show them how truly powerful we are! We can do this! #ReCancelBrooklynNineNine
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@scharpling
scharpling
2 years
On at least two occasions I have seen actual shit on that star.
@MediumSizeMeech
Meech
2 years
Dr Oz kissing tr*mp’s star on the walk of fame when he NEED TO BE texting Jonathan Van Ness to get them roots touched up!!!
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@scharpling
scharpling
5 years
Someday a baby's first words will be "Please take this Ramones shirt off of me, I don't like their music and this shirt implies that I'm a fan"
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@scharpling
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2 years
Love the clowns who are laughing as if Neil Young ever thought Spotify would drop Joe Rogen. The guy took a stand, put his money where his mouth is. Forced a shitty company to make a true colors-revealing decision. This is just one of the many reasons Neil is an all-timer.
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@scharpling
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4 years
In April 2019 I wrote a script for GROWN UPS 3. I was not asked to write it. It is the best thing I will ever do in my life, professional or otherwise. And here it is, my first gift to everyone in 2020. Read it! Enjoy it! Sign the mailing list!
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@scharpling
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2 years
Ugh, I had pinned all my hopes on Joe Rogan having a nuanced and humanitarian opinion on gun control
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@scharpling
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2 years
I set a goal on Oct 1st to walk 1 million steps by Jan 1st. Approximately five miles a day every day. Had some setbacks, kept pushing. I have about 15,000 steps to go. Gonna hit it tomorrow if the weather holds. Might not seem impressive to you but it took all I had to get here.
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@scharpling
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2 years
Over the last hour I've learned one thing: Neil Young lost a lot of fans with three Twitter followers
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@scharpling
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6 years
In 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, we learn that Mr Langley taught HAL-9000 the song "Daisy" on January 12th, 1992. Why didn't Mr. Langley teach HAL something from BLOOD SUGAR SEX MAGIK, like "Suck My Kiss" or "Sir Psycho Sexy"? The album had been out for FOUR MONTHS at this point!
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@scharpling
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3 years
So the Offspring just booted their drummer from the band because he wouldn't get the Covid-19 shot... I guess you could say that the band decided that they needed to "keep 'em vaccinated!" PLEASE DO NOT STEAL THIS JOKE PLEASE GIVE ME FULL CREDIT FOR THIS JOKE
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@scharpling
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2 years
They should've had Meadow Soprano run over Phil Leotardo's head in her Silverado
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@scharpling
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5 years
The first Cars album is literally perfect; there might not be a better debut ever. The rest of the catalog is untouchable. Ric Ocasek was the architect. Nobody could combine pop hits with straight up weirdness like he could. What a body of work, what a cool guy. Rest in power.
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@scharpling
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4 years
If you - as I have - worked on a TV show or movie in which police are portrayed as lovable goofballs you have contributed to the larger acceptance that cops are the implicitly the good guys. Most shows dont portray the brutal shit - much less the racism - that goes on daily. 1/3
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@scharpling
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4 years
I stand with my motorcycle riding brothers in our desire to end up on a ventilator two weeks after riding 2000 miles to see Jackyl in concert
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@scharpling
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5 years
I truly believe that Trump wouldn’t be president if people had rightfully appreciated MGMT’s second album. The cultural rejection of CONGRATULATIONS started a chain reaction of stupidity that led us to where we are now.
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@scharpling
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5 years
The only way COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE could get more opulent is if they literally ran over poor people
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@scharpling
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4 years
I am one of the few people that can call @nathanfielder a friend. I might be his only friend. And today I celebrate his latest amazing accomplishment.
@TheAVClub
The A.V. Club
4 years
Nathan Fielder is making a spooky comedy pilot with the Safdie brothers for Showtime
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6 years
I’m starting an online petition to get Weezer to withdraw their cover of “Africa”
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@scharpling
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3 years
Who is the best American band ever? I says it's the Velvet Underground. Four perfect albums, all completely different. Who do you says it is?
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3 years
Pumped to get onto the set of KNIVES OUT 2. I am honored to have been cast as Kirk, a janitor who is revealed to be the murderer. It's a small part but I will give it everything I've got! Thank you for this opportunity @rianjohnson . I won't let you down.
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@scharpling
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8 months
There is no way on earth I click on that fucking Martin Short article
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@scharpling
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4 years
Anybody whining about the so-called entitlement of millennials should check out any late '60s footage of hippies demanding to be let into festivals that cost $4.00 to watch a hundred legends perform because "music is supposed to be free" Nobody beats boomers for dickhead actions!
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@scharpling
scharpling
5 years
Can you name five movies? #FiveMovies
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@scharpling
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6 years
Unless the fleece factory is on fire, there is no reason for Old Navy to send out emails with the word URGENT in the subject line.
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@scharpling
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3 years
Today we found out what a remake of MARS ATTACKS! with Larry the Cable Guy playing all the Martians would look like
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@scharpling
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5 years
One of the true highlights of life is the moment when you pull behind a car covered in bumper stickers, saying to yourself “I can’t wait to see what this maniac is all about”
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@scharpling
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5 years
Daniel Johnston was and will always be a heavyweight. He took us all on an artistic journey through light and darkness, his pain was our gift. An all-time great, the songs stand as a perfect summation of an imperfect life. Rest in power and keep punching, Joe.
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@scharpling
scharpling
2 years
Just watched the OBI-WAN KENOBI trailer. Is anybody else worried that this series will end with Darth Vader killing him?
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@scharpling
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3 years
There are gonna be a lot of "barely used" chess sets on Craigslist six months from now
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5 years
ROCKY ROCKY 2 ROCKY 3 ROCKY 4 ROCKY 5 ROCKY BALBOA CREED CREED 2 CREED 3 CLUBBER JR CLUBBER JR 2 ROCKY 2 VS CREED 2 DRAGO JR VS CLUBBER JR CYBER ROCKY CYBER ROCKY 2 CYBER ROCKY VS PREDATOR CLUBBER JR VS CYBER ROCKY VS PREDATOR PAULIE'S GHOST PAULIE'S GHOST 2 PAULIE'S GHOST 3 PA
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@scharpling
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6 years
Laugh all you want but I will clutch my Blu-Rays and DVDs tighter after an amazing service like Filmstruck gets shut down over a business decision. Corporations have no commitment to art. You can't count on them to make/keep the good stuff available.
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@scharpling
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3 years
One thing that would heal the nation? Ted Cruz and Tom Cruise recording a duet of "Cruisin' Together"
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@scharpling
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5 years
I have spent about three years of my life trying to stop numbered items in Word documents from automatically indenting.
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4 years
The Best Show is on hiatus until further notice. Thanks for the support for the last few years, I will be back soon in some form or another. Not tweeting this to be dramatic, it's just that we should all have bigger and better things to focus on right now. I know I do.
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@scharpling
scharpling
5 years
Bill Murray calling Chevy Chase a “medium talent” in the middle of a 1978 fist fight might be the greatest burn of all time
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@scharpling
scharpling
5 years
Mr President: I did not vote for you. But you are my president and I will abide by your commands. But please sir, the schoolyard taunting MUST stop! It is beneath both you and the presidency. Consider this strike one, sir. And you know what happens with strike three...
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@scharpling
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3 years
I have a book coming out this July. It is called IT NEVER ENDS. It is a funny memoir but it's more than that! I'm very proud of it! You can pre-order the book at There will be something exciting for all pre-orders, so hang tight and ORDER THE BOOK!
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5 years
Mister Trump: I disagree with some of your policies. But I will support all of them because you are our commander in chief. What I cannot abide by is your mocking tone. You are our leader. Act like it. This is strike one, sir. And you know what happens with strike three.
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@scharpling
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5 years
One thing about losing David Berman and others to suicide: Some of us think about suicide the way others think about the weather. A constant and unrelenting throb barely kept at bay. All we can do for those in our lives who struggle is to keep them alive. Do whatever you can.
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@scharpling
scharpling
4 years
For the next 24 hours my Twitter account will consist of me telling you whether the Pet Shop Boys are better than any band that comes to your mind. Simply tweet at me "Are the Pet Shop Boys better than (band name)?" and I will answer. Real answers only, I promise.
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6 years
@Twitter you’ve made the world a worse place
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@scharpling
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3 years
MF DOOM is a total legend, one of the all-time greats. KMD, Madvillain, King Geedorah, Viktor Vaughn... what a body of work. RIP to one of the best.
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@scharpling
scharpling
5 years
I've seen SUICIDE SQUAD 93 times. Theaters, revival houses, private parties, solo screenings. And when Killer Croc throws the explosives for Deadshot to shoot with Harley's gun to stop the Enchantress, everyone rises to their feet and cheers. Every. Single. Time.
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@scharpling
scharpling
4 years
Jerry Stiller RIP All-time comedy god, nobody yelled better.
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@scharpling
scharpling
2 years
Putting the money where the mouth is. Might make things for difficult for some listeners so I apologize. We will help all Spotify listeners find the show. And to those who "haven't heard of me", I probably haven't heard of you either.
@bestshow4life
The Best Show with Tom Scharpling
2 years
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5 years
Mr Trump: You have been a rude man with poor manners and we all know that. But now your latest actions are truly beyond the pale. Consider this strike one, Mr. Trump. And if you know the rules of baseball, you know what will happen when you get to three strikes.
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@scharpling
scharpling
4 years
We also need to PAY UP. If you made your living portraying cops as harmless heroes, consider giving $$ to support what is right and just, to contribute to actual change. Here's a site that splits donations between worthwhile organizations. Thanks! 3/3
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@scharpling
scharpling
2 years
It begins. Get ready to get scared, Earth. @SarahSquirm
@nbcsnl
Saturday Night Live - SNL
2 years
🔥🔥 @SarahSquirm 🔥🔥
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@scharpling
scharpling
6 years
I love the cinema
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scharpling
5 years
Well well well, look what is going to happen. Very excited about this opportunity. As of today every other author is my competition!
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2 years
And I'll gladly put my "money" (hahaha!) where my mouth is and remove The Best Show from Spotify. How do we do this?
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@scharpling
scharpling
4 years
Release the Schneider Cut of DEUCE BIGALOW
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4 years
Mr Trump - Your unfailing guidance through this pandemic is a gift. You are a beacon of strength and generosity. Every American thanks you. But these schoolyard taunts must stop. They are beneath you, sir. Consider this strike one. And you know what happens with strike three.
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@scharpling
scharpling
3 years
The Todd Haynes Velvet Underground doc is perfect. Jaw dropping and moving. A celebration of art and the avant garde and weirdness. No cheap animation, no indie rock dorks in front of a wall of LPs telling me why "Sister Ray" is awesome. Absolute perfection.
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@scharpling
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4 years
I worked on MONK, that's what we did. Goofy good guy cops for eight seasons. Not saying you should be necessarily be ashamed of your work, it's comedy/entertainment, I get it. But we need to be mindful of the implications of this attitude going forward. 2/3
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@scharpling
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1 year
Imagine using an all-time pathetic image of yourself as a way to "stick it to others"
@ThisIsKyleR
Kyle Rittenhouse
1 year
3,700 @Twitter employees and the entire Democrat party right now. 👇
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2 years
So yeah, I've got Covid. Six days in and it's brutal. People lead me to believe that if you get it when you're vaxxed/boosted that it's generally a breeze. Not for me. I feel like I got hit by a truck that makes me sleep. Ugh.
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4 years
Saddened to hear that Avalanche Bob has passed away. He was a great caller and I loved how excited he was about his music and art. He always gave it everything he had. We would all be so lucky to be as engaged and passionate about things as Bob was. Rest in peace, Bob.
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6 years
I just joined a fun. tribute band and we are called fun. There is no period at the end of our band name, it’s just fun. I’ve got to stop ending sentences with my tribute band name or you’ll never be able to understand that our name isn’t fun. Damnit I did it again! Once and for a
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7 years
We all love the Puppy Bowl but older dogs rule. Visit your local shelter and get a DOG that needs to be SAVED. Like my dog Good N Poochy!
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@scharpling
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6 years
Movie idea: On the verge of economic collapse, the entire United States of America becomes a Halloween Superstore
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5 years
Best use of Twitter to date.
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4 years
It's 3 AM. Trump sits alone in the Oval Office, his trusty Stratocaster across his knee, strumming away at a slow and somewhat bluesy rendition of "It's Been Awhile" by Staind. His technique is rudimentary but the feeling is undeniable. The man and the music are one.
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4 years
Mister Trump: Happy holidays from every single American! We all appreciate your love for our country. But this is a season for giving, not schoolyard taunting. We expect more. Consider this strike one, sir. And please be mindful of what happens when you get three strikes.
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2 years
It warms my heart to hear that Lou liked CCR and his take on Zappa is one for the ages.
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4 years
If you are having anything delivered please over-tip to make up for those who either can't afford to tip or those too awful to tip
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5 years
Mr. Trump: I write to you as a fellow American. I know you love this grand land of ours with all your heart, as do I. So sir, I beseech you to leave the playground antics to children. Consider this strike one, Mister Trump. And we know what happens when you get three strikes.
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6 years
Look, I love Conan O'Brien. And I'm sure his podcast will be great. But with all of my heart I hope that Jay Leno figures out a way to steal it from him.
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scharpling
3 years
Fuck these idiots. Here's to hoping the moron from Bar Rescue gets locked inside a walk-in freezer, banging on the door, hoping one of the "hungry dogs" hears his sad screams as his hair gel freezes and cracks
@DaveCArmada
Big Dave
3 years
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2 years
Jesus has 72 hours to come back and explain his side of all this shit or we turn every church into a Halloween SuperStore
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4 years
THIS GUY WON AN OSCAR FOR WRITING
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6 years
Everyone complains that the only movies that get made are superhero movies. If you want that to change you gotta walk the walk. Having a movie like SORRY TO BOTHER YOU make as much $$$ as possible gets the next SORRY TO BOTHER YOU made. See it!
@BootsRiley
Boots Riley
6 years
Ok. Oops. THIS is the complete list of cities for the expanded run of #SorryToBotherYou this weekend!!! One week only. 130 cities. Disregard that other list.
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5 years
The dumbest thing ever might be that the idiot kids in E.T. continue to peddle their stupid bikes even though they're in the air. Morons!
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scharpling
8 months
Devastated to hear about the passing of Dave from Knoxville. Dave called the show and was nothing short of a complete gentleman every time. Funny, smart, fantastic taste, extremely kind and thoughtful. One of the true greats. Dave is gonna be missed by countless friends and fans.
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scharpling
2 years
"Vote harder"? How much harder are we supposed to vote? Until the voting machines break? How about ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING WITH THE POWER WE AFFORDED YOU. None of these assholes are on our side. Fuck them all, we gotta take care of our own now.
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scharpling
6 years
The Puppy Bowl is fantastic and it's great that the dogs are shelter/rescue pups. But don't be afraid to get an older shelter dog! They know what's what and are full of love! Good N Poochy is a rescue dog and she has improved my life in every possible way!
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4 years
HUBIE HALLOWEEN > MIDSOMMAR
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5 years
Mr Trump: I speak for all Americans wishing you a happy birthday and a long and healthy life. You are president and we honor you. But please stop with the schoolyard taunting. We demand better. Consider this strike one, sir. And you know what happens with strike three.
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scharpling
4 years
The response to my GROWN UPS 3 script has been amazing. I'm glad people love it! But this is the beginning! We are gonna keep ramming this down everyone's throats! Spread it around! Tell your friends! #GrownUps3
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scharpling
4 years
Imagine how bad Sam Kinison would've been on Twitter
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2 years
If the rumors about Desus & Mero breaking up are true that means two things: 1) Two of the greatest to do it are stepping down and deserve our accolades 2) I am now the undisputed king of podcasting, those were the only two who could make a run at King Tom #BestShow24
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6 years
Pete Davidson looks focused. Eyes on the prize. Ready to lose himself in the characters and make the next season of SNL about one thing and one thing only - comedy.
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5 years
We all stopped “that’s not a thing”. We killed off “I threw up in my mouth a little”. Now it’s time to end slapping a number on a porn title for cheap laughs. “My favorite movie is ATOMIC BUTTS 7” (that’s a cleaned up title, I run a family account here)
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5 years
Mister Trump: I speak for all Americans when I say we appreciate your passion for the USA. But you crossed a line today, sir. A line that is more than Democrat vs Republican. Consider this strike one, sir. And please be mindful of what happens when you get three strikes.
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@scharpling
scharpling
2 years
The Knicks are in serious trouble this year if they're getting pumped to "Because" by the Beatles
@nyknicks
NEW YORK KNICKS
2 years
The track list says it all 🎧
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4 years
I for one am very worried that Trump will pull a Mrs Doubtfire on Biden and pose as a female senator to get the VP nod
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2 years
I got to interview Michael Nesmith a bunch of years ago. Drove to his studio. Talked for a couple hours. He was as smart, funny, insightful and as impressive as I could've hoped. Legendary songwriter, hilarious actor. He is and will always be my hero. My favorite. Rest In Peace.
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scharpling
2 years
At a party. I picked up the romote and tried to play Hiroshima Mon Amour on Criterion Channel but everyone here wants to watch the Super Bowl. The morons are taking over, folks. It's a page out of IDIOCRACY (2006, dir. Mike Judge)
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scharpling
6 years
I have so many people muted on here that if I scroll ten tweets down all I see are tweets about a new song called "Gangnam Style"
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scharpling
2 years
No Best Show this week, sorry. In the parlance of the times I am dealing with some "personal issues". I'm trying to "address them" so I don't "run into traffic" or "crawl into a hole". I'll be back next week and will have fully "rationalized all my problems so I can "function"
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5 years
People ask "where do you stand on this whole Conan podcast thing, Tom?" And I say the same thing I've said since we started 'casting in 2005: Best Show wasn't the first But! Best Show is the best We invented the game We reinvented the game We won the game Game over
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scharpling
6 years
I stopped watching this disaster to literally drive a check to the Community Food Bank of New Jersey. Figure out a way to help the truly powerless. People who are victimized and abused, people who don't have food or shelter... hold onto your humanity!
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scharpling
2 years
Rough day, this dead dad stuff doesn’t go in a straight line, sympathy to anyone getting knocked around by it today
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scharpling
10 months
I’m not saying Indiana Jones is old but there’s a scene in DIAL OF DESTINY where he gets tricked by a phone scammer into wiring money to get his grandson out of trouble
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scharpling
4 years
BREAKING NEWS Reports from Los Angeles confirm that Jay Leno touched $2.00 of his Tonight Show money to buy a king size Snickers bar
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scharpling
2 years
Already seeing people turning this discussion into a debate. It's not. I'm glad I'm all boosted up, I can't imagine what this would feel like without any safeguards. Please take the debates somewhere else, nice people are saying nice things to me while I'm sick and it helps.
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scharpling
4 years
BREAKING NEWS Annabelle is loose in the NBA bubble Annabelle is loose in the NBA bubble All players and coaches: PLEASE BEWARE I repeat: Annabelle is loose in the NBA bubble
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scharpling
4 years
We are gonna keep making stuff, which is all we can do in the face of this nightmare. New Best Shows will happen every week. New bonus content every week. Some surprises as well! We are about to show you why everyone else in the pod game is a fraud
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3 years
As if things couldn’t get any weirder I just got word that The Whitest Kids U Know have stormed the Pentagon
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