Sam Morril @sammorril Twitter profile

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 months

Talking worst cities with David Letterman

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Last Seen Profiles

@ABCNetwork

@brookeunger

@Landon_Harris75

@ArtCelineLove

@GuidesJava

@iMarine_Project

@psmark1821

@brookeunger

@HELIX_es

@BaardsenDa18789

@InvestorPlace

@yandexmarket

@Golf_Saudi

@Drewd0g_

@HerbertSovula

@777Realofficial

@DarkGiftComics

@TraineeAtrans

@DietrichEnns

@Vi11ainousVixen

@cardibcaviar

@VinceKOAT

@Montanerevaluna

@Fitriniez06

@Imneko16

@77024Basketball

@nixagirlsbball

@yuluvkyky

@IDFM

@wipe_me_down

@SBSNews

@BlairBigham

@femboy_gin63819

@Warchiwar

@imNikhilAnudeep

Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 months

I haven’t seen Jerry Jones this upset since they passed the Civil Rights Act

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

Jussie Smollett is saying Will Smith hit him too

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 months

Dan Campbell drawing an 18 in blackjack: “hit me.”

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 month

OJ lied?

New York Post

@nypost

1 month

OJ Simpson assured fans he was in good health in final video before cancer death

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

Feels like we are all in prison but the prison in Goodfellas where you can still make pasta

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

Will Smith just won an award for being the best actor, but he couldn’t act like a human being during a joke.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

The guy who mocked the Sandy Hook victims families thinks Kanye is going too far

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

8 months

Being trapped at Burning Man seems almost as bad as being trapped in a conversation with someone who went to Burning Man

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

George Lucas has seen Star Wars and he’s a billionaire

Andrew Tate

@Cobratate

1 year

Never seen Star Wars. None of them. Never will. “Omg you’re missing out” Maybe. You’re missing out on being a multi-millionaire. Keep your movie.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

Trans joke from my new special Same Time Tomorrow streaming on Netflix now. Captions fixed.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

3 months

An all-timer crazy moment

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

@realDonaldTrump @FLOTUS this is the first time Melania has been positive around you

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

5 months

“3 veal parms or we walk.”

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

18 days

I respect Joel Embiid’s talent and greatness as a player, but this is a disgrace. This is after he kicked Hartenstein in the balls. You don’t see Jokic or Giannis doing this bc this isn’t how winners conduct themselves. Embiid is Draymond with a jumper, zero rings and more…

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 months

Tough L for Texas but their coach can go back to his job at Pollo Hermanos

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

I don’t think Kanye can win. He’s an egomaniac with no political experience.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

My drinking mistakes aren’t as bad as I get older. I wake up like, “did I sign up for Paramount Plus last night?”

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

Just got disconnected from a friend on FaceTime and neither of us called the other one back. That’s real friendship.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 months

Hey that’s a judgment free zone

New York Post

@nypost

2 months

Inmate who escaped prison nearly 4 months ago captured leaving a Planet Fitness 200 miles away

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

A lot of pressure on Jonah Hill to stay funny.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 months

NFL Memes. More like Sam Morril memes.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

3 years

Just asked a woman where to get a good lunch around here in Bridgeport, CT. She pointed to a Dunkin Donuts. I laughed and decided to explore for 20 minutes. Here I am back at Dunkin Donuts.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

7 months

I dunno. I’m glad my parents drew the line at shouting.

CNN

@CNN

7 months

Parents shouting at children can be as harmful as sexual or physical abuse, study finds

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

9 months

Make that 7 rings for Pippen/Jordan

New York Post

@nypost

9 months

Marcus Jordan-Larsa Pippen wedding ‘in the works’

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

It’s one thing to steal my joke verbatim, but to add their handle to the post to want credit…truly unoriginal morally bankrupt pieces of shit.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

Can’t believe a famous celebrity smacked a comedian on TV and it wasn’t Kanye

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

11 months

“Don’t impregnate 13 year olds brother!”

Paul Knepper

@paulieknep

11 months

Hulk Hogan punishing Karl Malone at the 1998 Bash at the Beach.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

This guy is 71 years old

Skip Bayless

@RealSkipBayless

1 year

I’m sorry. That’s it. I’ve had it with Dak.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

Might go for even more if they change the name

New York Post

@nypost

2 years

Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘Pedophile Island’ hitting the market for $125M

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

I keep laughing and then stopping abruptly and remembering this is happening to us and not a TV show

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

7 months

This should make a dent

New York Post

@nypost

7 months

Kim Kardashian demands ‘compassion’ for ‘innocent victims’ amid Israel-Palestine war

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

9 months

“It’s from both of us.”-Lauren Sanchez

Economic Times

@EconomicTimes

9 months

#Billionaire #JeffBezos and his girlfriend #LaurenSanchez have announced a $100 million fund to help with recovery efforts for the wildfires in #Maui , #Hawaii .

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

For someone who cares about the environment, Leonardo Dicaprio sure does love fucking the future generation.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

8 months

“I will honor the spirit of the strike by not doing a monologue, New Rules or desk pieces.” Bc you can’t. Writers did that stuff. That’s not honoring them. It’s something you are not able to do.

Bill Maher

@billmaher

8 months

Real Time is coming back, unfortunately, sans writers or writing. It has been five months, and it is time to bring people back to work. The writers have important issues that I sympathize with, and hope they are addressed to their satisfaction, but they are not the only people…

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

15 days

Joel Embiid purposely trying to injure Mitchell Robinson and succeeding is one of the all time bitch ass moves from a star in playoff history

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

That was the biggest hit Will Smith has been involved in since the 90s

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

Watching Guy Fieri eat a French Dip and he said “man, love the jus” and in this climate, it was nice to hear.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

Love weddings

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

3 years

"I should treat myself to some pens"-one of the more depressing thoughts I've had in Walgreens

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

New special streaming now on Netflix. Hope you enjoy it.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

Succession has been one of the best shows ever made. Everything about it is great- the music, the acting, the sets, etc. BUT it’s one of the best written shows of all time. Might be a good idea to pay writers so we can have more great TV instead of reality shows about realtors.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

11 days

Guy who is trolling me not realizing I was in this movie scene

garbaggio

@rise_and_grime

11 days

@sammorril Sam Morrill when he decided to tell sports jokes

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

Elon Musk got out of an Amber Heard relationship unscathed so yeah, I think he can handle Twitter.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

From the last time I was in Pittsburgh. I’ll be back this Fri-Sun. I was not invited back to do morning TV.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 months

Another stellar morning show appearance. You keep inviting me on, I’ll keep coming.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

Amazing that you can reach Rock’s level as a comedian and you still play gigs with no security

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

I got 0 offers on my new special so i shot it and edited it with friends. In 3 weeks, we are at 1,153,000 views and counting. Most of the industry is clueless. Word of mouth is a big reason for the success of this. Grateful to all who have watched. Full:

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

Good thing China can’t spy on us anymore. -Sent from my IPhone

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

3 years

Norm was so funny that if anyone didn’t find him funny, you immediately knew they were a dipshit.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

Paul Giamatti’s agent: “they want you to play Albert Einstein.” Giamatti: “a bio pic?” Agent: “no, in a Verizon commercial.”

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

Writers deserve more respect. People worship actors, but they’re nothing without writers. Writing is harder than acting. There are child actors. There are no child writers.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

3 months

Watching from a green room. Hell yeah.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

Rihanna proving women do not need maternity leave

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

11 months

At an airport maybe make it 9-12 minutes

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

6 months

Damn he’s shredded. I gotta brush more.

Daily Loud

@DailyLoud

6 months

Shannon Sharpe says he brushes his teeth 7-10 times a day 🦷

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

3 years

People who respond sincerely to joke tweets should have a red check mark

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

Remember that campaign hugs not drugs? Now hugs are worse

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

5 years

Anyone over 30 who waits on a line to get into a bar is mentally ill

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

Good to have Brittney Griner back in the US. You think people in Russia are like, "finally, the Merchant of Death is home"?

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

3 years

I’m changing jacking off to one man show

New York Post

@nypost

3 years

Woke writer attacks the word 'virginity,' suggests 'sexual debut' instead

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

“No alcohol tonight”- me before opening 6 bags of candy

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

I feel for Joe Biden because this is what it's like doing stand-up in Florida

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

9 months

Deshaun Watson will still start at quarterback

No Jumper

@nojumper

9 months

Lizzo has been dropped from Super Bowl Halftime Show consideration following her sexual assault allegations

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

So now the accounts who have a blue check mark on here are the same people who bought a class ring

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

Love when a troll responds “stick to comedy.” If 100% of what I say has to be a joke, then you have to stick to talking auto insurance.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

An extra hour in 2020 is like getting a free appetizer from a restaurant that gave you food poisoning

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

Can’t decide if I should pick up yoga or heroin

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

If you’re complaining about Burr’s stand-up, stand-up might not be your thing. It’s like watching basketball and not getting LeBron.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

I'm guessing Trump will weigh in on the NBA protests in a classy way that brings us together.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

5 years

Here’s a bit Fat Jew stole from me years ago. When I confronted him by email, he didn’t respond, but pulled the joke. When you follow IG accounts like him or fuckjerry, you’re supporting joke thieves who are morally bankrupt. Unfollow them, and watch me on Conan tomorrow night.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 months

Buffalo losing on a wide right missed field goal is like if Lance Armstrong got cancer in his other ball.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

7 months

Too bad. Roy is a comics comic. He would’ve made the show funny to both sides. A guy from Alabama who hit the road hard and lives in New York. He understands how to connect. I’m not surprised Comedy Central is making a huge mistake. A smarter network will give him a show.

philip lewis

@Phil_Lewis_

7 months

Roy Wood Jr won’t be returning to The Daily Show as he no longer wants to wait for someone else to take the top job. "I can't come up with Plan B is while still working with Plan A”

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 months

This is like when Pacino won for Scent of a Woman

NBACentral

@TheDunkCentral

4 months

This will be Damian Lillard’s FIRST time starting in an All-Star game 🤯

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

Hey, Megan. I’ll be doing two theater shows in your city of Orlando in March. I’ll put two comps under Megan the Grouch. You’ve tweeted at me 20 times and I think you could use a night out.

Megan Turner

@megnturner_

1 year

this is where we are with comedy in 2023? Jesus would be embarrassed

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

MacGruber is a better movie than Gone With The Wind

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

This was such a cool moment. RIP Chadwick Boseman.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

2 years

Hope I bounce back from this one

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

4 years

I’m a liberal from Manhattan and I will never vote for Trump, but I have to say there is no more horrible comedy audience than far left extremists. I’ve never seen so many talentless drones in my life who while contributing nothing to society think they’re better than you.

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Sam Morril

@sammorril

1 year

Sales are slow