Jeff Ross @realjeffreyross Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Jeff Ross

6 years

I met a father & son as they crossed over. They weren’t criminals. They were running from criminals. I hope they’re ok. Please share. #KeepFamilesTogether

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Last Seen Profiles

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

9 years

Roasters, Check my new #Instagram @TheRealJeffreyRoss to follow my preparation for the #BieberRoast over the next few weeks. 😩

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

9 years

Aren't we fedorable? #BieberRoast rehearsal with the man of the hour... @justinbieber . This is gonna be bananas! http://t.co/AiTPCOZ2LM

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

9 years

I dreamed about this a year ago and now it's really happening. Will you be watchin?

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

2 years

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

BREAKING NEWS: Jussie Smollet accepted to USC.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

BREAKING NEWS: President Trump just pardoned Kid Rock’s last three albums.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

2 years

RIP to the great Betty White. I warned her to check that coke for Fentanyl.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Some looters broke into @TheComedyStore and did ten minutes.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

Breaking News: President Trump to pardon Confederate General Robert E Lee.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Yes — a gateway to Led Fuckin Zepplin.

The Hill

@thehill

4 years

Biden says he won't legalize marijuana because it may be a "gateway drug"

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

BREAKING NEWS: President Trump is now on MySpace.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

1 year

I loved his eggs. This one hurts. Breakfast will never be the same.

NBC News

@NBCNews

1 year

BREAKING: Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI dies at 95.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

6 years

I’m offended by people who are constantly offended.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

BREAKING NEWS: Alec Baldwin concedes to Jim Carrey.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

This would’ve been an inspiring story in 1890.

NPR

@NPR

4 years

JUST IN: NASCAR has banned the Confederate flag at all of its events and properties.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

Life is hard. Don’t lose your sense of humor.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

No please, not Norm.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Not feeling any jokes today. Sending love and positive energy to everyone who is sick, broke or just lonely. Stay strong please. xo

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

VIRUS BAD!

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

4 years

USA STRONG!

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

If the President had actually planned Senator McCain’s funeral it would have been catered with Macdonald’s.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

8 years

Don't forget to turn your clocks back to 1939.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

BREAKING NEWS: Mother Teresa To Host Oscars.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

Ok fine I’ll host the Oscars.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

If ya see me at “Cats” this weekend leave me alone I’m on shrooms.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

6 years

When you decide to take the underground to the biggest show of the tour... @TheO2 @chrisrock @michelleisawolf @anthonyjeselnik @nelsongeorge #totalblackouttour #LONDON

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

I tried to look like @theweeknd but wound up looking like @pitbull if he got attacked by a pitbull.

LiveOne

@liveone

3 years

Did your fav artists get snubbed by the #GRAMMYs this year? Well we’re here to RIGHT that WRONG 🏆 Announcing the first-ever #TheSnubbys streaming this Sunday! Join your host @realjeffreyross at 8pm ET to see which of your fav (snubbed) artists win awards:

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Let me ask you, is your life better now than it was 4 hours ago?

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Halftime dance w Ga Ga #SuperBowl

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Don’t forget to call your favorite airline and make sure they’re okay.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

Fuck your brother

BjørnarN🇧🇻🇽🇰🇦🇫

@UdeAaSykle

7 years

@realjeffreyross Do you do birthday video shoutouts? My brother is turning 40 and I want to surprise him. Let me know

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Some looters just broke into @TheComedyStore and fixed it up.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

818 ‘til I die

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

So far not one question about Eddie Van Halen. #VPDebate

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

None of this will help us find out what happened to Carol Baskin’s husband.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Good news... I accidentally entered the wrong Zoom meeting and got drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers. #NFLDraft #DraftDay

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

6 years

Can someone from the comedy police please send me an acceptable list of topics we can joke about ?

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

What’s more baller than calling in sick to work and taking a helicopter to see your drug dealer ?

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

Lord Of The Ringos ?

The Hollywood Reporter

@THR

5 years

Peter Jackson to Direct Documentary About The Beatles' 'Let It Be' Recording Sessions

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Did Kim Jong Un drink the bleach ?

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

Make politics boring again

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

I just drove fom LA to Vegas in 29 minutes.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Breaking News: Covid-19 just endorsed Donald Trump for President.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

2 years

When Meatloaf died Louie Anderson was like, “What’s the point of living?” I loved them both.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

6 years

Someone better clear this with Secretary of State Dennis Rodman.

CNN

@CNN

6 years

Russia has appointed actor Steven Seagal as a "special representative" on US-Russian humanitarian ties

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

I'd like to see Bill Cosby take the stand at his own trial, do twenty hilarious minutes of stand-up, then plead guilty and drop the mic.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

Obama, you're out! Trump, urine!

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Nobody funnier than #FredWillard . And when he happened to be in an audience, nobody laughed harder. Just saw him before quarantine & already miss him. He was my biggest fan and I am his. Fred & Mary were so kind to me. Sending a big virtual hug to his family, friends and fans

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

We need @KevinHart4real to be okay. 🙏🏼 💪🏽❤️

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

BREAKING NEWS: President Trump asks Dog The Bounty Hunter to run the FBI.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

I’m so bored I’d go to church tomorrow.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

I have a small dick and I’m not racist. #smalldickenergy

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

After 2 weeks off the grid in Europe I'm excited to be back in Hollywood for my big pitch meeting with Harvey Weinstein ! Wish me luck !

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

I wish my parents had loved me enough to get me into USC.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Today I’ll be live streaming urine out of my penis.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

Would be funny to find out Trump & Pelosi have been having an affair this whole time.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Hey I’ll tell ya

All Things Comedy

@allthingscomedy

4 years

Happy Birthday to the late Rodney Dangerfield! The king of one liners and self-deprecating humor. #ATCpresents #iconsofcomedy #rodneydangerfield

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

BREAKING NEWS: President Trump lists White House on Airbnb.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

I haven’t worn a bra in a week.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

10 years

Robin Williams was the first person ever to make me laugh other than my dad. #Mork

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

You look great Artie but those jeans are a tragedy.

Artie Lange

@artiequitter

5 years

Great to be home! 7 months 14 days sober but one day at a time. Lots of new stories to tell. Will announce some new tour dates on Friday. Thanks for the support. Love you all.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

6 years

Other than another mass shooting and the deaths of our greatest war hero and our greatest playwright I think it was a pretty good weekend.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

BREAKING NEWS: President Trump is selling foot pics on OnlyFans.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

On the bright side, bad cops are finally beating up white people too.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Was that an earthquake or the soul of RBG busting through the stratosphere?

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

I wish these late night hosts would stop trying to be funny and stick to politics.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

BREAKING NEWS: President Trump reluctantly joins TikTok.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

No Chance The Rapper

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

America is great again.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

Greatest Of All Time

The Hollywood Reporter

@THR

7 years

Breaking: legendary comic Don Rickles dies at 90

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

#tbt That time Joker forced me to roast Batman.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

8 years

So much fun @justinbieber show last night. What an entertainer. Now I am a #Belieber #PurposeTourLosAngeles

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

BREAKING: The President would’ve been discharged from the hospital even sooner but he was arguing about the bill.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

If Hillary Clinton had simply joined the cast of Real Housewives instead of becoming Secretary of State she would have won the election.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

Happy birthday @RealGilbert you sexy motherfucker.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

RIP Charlie Watts. Man, fuck this milk crate challenge.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

Breaking news: The Atlanta Falcons won the popular vote. #SuperBowl

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

9 years

I'm in full roast mode motherfucka @justinbieber #BieberRoast

Jeff Ross (@therealjeffreyross) • Instagram photo

www.instagram.com

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

The Zapruder film ?

Ben Domenech

@bdomenech

4 years

What is the worst movie with the best cast?

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

9 years

#Beliebers ! @justinbieber is so cute & sweet I've decided not to roast him. I wil only say nice things at the #BieberRoast RETWEET NOW! 🐸

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

If you're stuck in Florida please evacuate. If you're stuck in New Jersey I feel your pain.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Breaking News: The Murder Hornets just endorsed Donald Trump for President.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

Don’t mean to complain but I’m getting sick and tired of not being mentioned in any rap songs.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Thank you Coronavirus. Your work here is done.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

BREAKING NEWS: Floyd Mayweather en route to Texas to beat up Mother Nature.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

On the bright side, everyone’s lips are finally getting back to normal size.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

I’m bored. Someone please offend me.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

6 years

Roast Malone vs Post Malone #RoastBattle ???

Michelle

@SportsBelleChel

6 years

Never forget that @realjeffreyross was Post Malone before Post Malone was Post Malone. #OnlyRealOnesRemember

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Too soon

HYPE+

@ComedyHype_

4 years

We lost Patrice O’neal 8 years agot today 💔💔🙏🏽

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

3 years

Coincidentally, Prince Phillip’s last words were “Where my dogs at?”

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

Hopefully never

Chris Danchek

@Chris_Danchek

5 years

@attell @realjeffreyross When are you coming to Pittsburgh?

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

1 year

The Belz… Even holding his dog he was always the coolest cat in the room. #RichardBelzer

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

10 years

Shout out to the deaf.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Just because today is 420 doesn’t mean you shouldn’t drink.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Are you allowed to bring an ATM machine onto a bus? Asking for a friend.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

I love @KingJames for speaking his mind. Someday I'd love to honor him and thank him the only way I know how... #LeBronRoast for charity.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

7 years

Dang - It turns out Harvey Weinstein is one of the few people in Hollywood who hasn't seen his dick.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

5 years

It’s 2019! Let’s try not to fuck this up.

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Jeff Ross

@realjeffreyross

4 years

Up at 730am three days in a row. I guess I’m officially not a comic anymore.

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