rach @rachelbelllll Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@MOONTH1NG

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@KaelabKaela

@kintsugilevi

@lolipop_ginger

@splak_

@CaliforniaOld

rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

was explaining “if you snooze you lose” to french husband and he said “so basically it’s if you are sleeping, fuck you”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

7 years

when you get added to a random soccer mom group chat by mistake (1/2)

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

my brother called me out of the blue which he only does when there’s an emergency. and then

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

DID MY LANDLORD JUST TRY TO USE THE BIBLE TO RAISE MY RENT…LMAOOOO

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rach

@rachelbelllll

7 years

(2/2)

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

just airdropped hello kitty smoking a dart to everybody in this broadway theatre

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

also worth noting that on a recent grocery store trip he said, “i need to buy another cereal...because cheerios are not really funny”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

UPDATE: the good news is i work for a real estate startup and know the law, and my landlord and i have a pretty chill relationship (until this lmfao). so i just texted him this:

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

if you add peas to annie’s white cheddar shells, they will hug each other. i invented this and it’s called mac n peas. bye!

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

random civilian kneels on a man being pinned down by two cops for fare evasion

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

he is so wise

rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

me: didn’t you already take a nap today? husband: there is no lethal dose

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

it finally happened: someone with a new yorker tote bag said “we’re matching!” and i got to say “haha not quite…”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

me: didn’t you already take a nap today? husband: there is no lethal dose

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

from french husband’s first visit to NYC

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

this is a thread now

rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

my french-ass fiancé: ‘i don’t do nightmare. i have peaceful mind.’

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

UPDATE 3: this will be my last tweet ever because i’m fucking deceased. i’ve been messing with bruce for over a year now. i hate/love my landlord

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rach

@rachelbelllll

3 years

@arborheart bsjjsjwkkwidjdndj

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

😌

rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

yesterday my exceedingly wise french husband suggested we go outdoors in the eloquent and gentle way that i’ve grown to expect from him by telling me, “you are getting pale, like an endive growing in the dark”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

my french-ass fiancé: ‘i don’t do nightmare. i have peaceful mind.’

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

UPDATE 2: still waiting for landlord to reply but in the spirit of sharing my extensive landlord-tenant law knowledge i wrote this blog post explaining all the reasons this is fully illegal. will let you all know what i hear from him

Can My Landlord Increase the Rent Because God Told Him To?

He said he had recently “accepted Jesus into her heart” and that the Bible says that, to be saved, you must offer ten percent of your income to the church.

caretaker.com

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rach

@rachelbelllll

3 years

@arborheart goddamit now i’m cyberbullying princeton grads

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

laughing very hard at chrissy moltisanti recklessly altering the sopranos canon via IG comments

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

my coworker got to the office about 15 mins after me and said there were at least 30 cops at the station by then

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

at the ER the ultrasound tech was like, “ok now go to the bathroom and we’ll do the next sonogram” and i was like “oh actually i just went, i’m good” and she was like “no. i can see what’s inside your bladder.”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

the lights on this hospital in my hometown have gone out in a majorly unfortunate way :/

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

🤗

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

yesterday my exceedingly wise french husband suggested we go outdoors in the eloquent and gentle way that i’ve grown to expect from him by telling me, “you are getting pale, like an endive growing in the dark”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

i went to the nail salon and showed them this picture of sliced radish

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

thinking fondly of when i broke things off with a pizza delivery guy in 2015 and the next day he texted me ‘order a pizza we need to talk’

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rach

@rachelbelllll

3 years

we brought the bottle to the bodega at 11:58 and 🥲

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

if they didn’t want me to put q tips in my earholes they shouldn’t have made them two-sided. two is the exact number of earholes i have

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

can’t believe there was a show in the mid-2000s where people just said yo mama jokes at each other. 9/11 really fucked us all the way up

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

i never had someone else tell me that i have to pee

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

while i have your attention, did y’all know that once a horse wins the kentucky derby it’s cum can go up in value to like $300,000?

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

@helen @Sonny5ideUp i’m gonna tell him it’s worthless so i can give it to u

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

note a boy wrote me in 7th grade

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

my dad bought this off the wall of a Qdoba restaurant in 2003

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

goodnight twitter!! i’m glad to have made some people smile today

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

asked my mom the big question

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

fine one more thing: i got him a cameo from dog the bounty hunter for his birthday last year. dog mispronounced his name even tho i spelled it out phonetically for him (and recorded it in his garage). gaillard’s reaction is incredibly wholesome

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rach

@rachelbelllll

7 years

smoked weed last night and searched 'how old do eels live' on google maps

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rach

@rachelbelllll

3 years

tell me you don’t see it

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

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rach

@rachelbelllll

3 years

none of these people will be arrested and they’ll all be back in their hometowns shopping maskless at the grocery store in the next week

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

@GraceSpelman i love that my husband being from europe makes him scandalous

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

today i learned that enya is worth $116 million, has only been seen in public twice in a decade, lives alone in a castle, invented her own language, and refuses to respond to fan mail.

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

the true star of Tiger King is the woman who says, as she’s chopping firewood, that she got implants she didn’t even want because it gave her an opportunity to lay down for a few days

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rach

@rachelbelllll

11 months

my boyfriend told his coworker we went to see ethel cain and they were like oh what kind of music is that? and i swear to god he said something like “she’s like lana del rey. melancholy and ethereal but while lana celebrates americana, ethel cain laments it’s decay”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

7 years

trying to sell ferrets to wrong numbers

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

i worked at a salon in 2017 and they filmed homeland out front. saw claire danes walk by a bunch. i matched w a guy on tinder who was working on set. he lived far away, never would’ve met him otherwise. now we watch homeland together in big t-shirts on my couch every nite

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

INFORMATION THAT COULD SAFE A LIFE! i went to see bruce springsteen with my mom awhile ago, and a woman in line near us suddenly fell over. her face was gray. people swarmed to help her. as we passed, my mom said, “make sure someone is calling 911.” 1/?

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

showing my landlord who’s boss

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

@GraceSpelman this is the guy i had my first kiss with

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

@CliffWDickson

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

@pocketbookking “you guys wanna pregame at my loft in midtown???”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

was running late for brunch, felt like i didn’t do a great job on my makeup, at the restaurant a whole table of young women kept turning to stare at me, felt self-conscious and bad! when they left one came up to me and said “sorry we were staring, you’re just really pretty” 🥹

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

if you are the person who made this graphic on the wikipedia page for love actually…thank you

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

this is so dumb but i made this video a week ago and keep going back to it to remember how to feel good

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

@FamousCeleb @rickyeatacid this whole man looks like he was built inside photoshop. brain cannot accept he is real

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rach

@rachelbelllll

7 years

my motto

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rach

@rachelbelllll

10 months

@wownicebuttdude tell him about “hey batter batter batter swing” he’s gonna love it

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

my coworker said to me today “they caught the subway guy” and immediately i was like “jared fogel? i thought they got him years ago”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

3 years

my new chair wants to know if you guys like her??

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

@TaylorLorenz so confused. her audience demographic does not make the paper towel buying decisions in a household.

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rach

@rachelbelllll

7 years

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rach

@rachelbelllll

3 years

have y’all ever seen a gas station fall over⁉️

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

@Shlormp EXACTLY LOL

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

no disrespect he’s just from france and literally doesn’t know who daniel johnston is, RIP

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

SOMEONE IS KILLING ALL THE ITALIAN AND ITALIAN-CODED ACTORS. WE MUST PROTECT MICHAEL IMPERIOLI

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

diffusion of responsibility, also called ‘bystander apathy’ is a socio-psychological phenomenon where people are less likely to take responsibility for an action when others are present. you drive by an accident on the highway and assume someone else has dialed 911.

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

@deej______ if you love him so much why don’t u marry him

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

. @ItalianComments

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rach

@rachelbelllll

3 years

@quakerraina about one week after insertion, before the strings fully softened, i sliced a weiner with mine. while still inside me he said “oh” and i was like what and he very calmly said “i think my dick got all cut up”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

@Angelmamii5 queen i literally thought about you while i brushed my teeth last night how did you know

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

how to radicalize your white aunt

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

@ItsDanSheehan @Symbo1ics @TheRachelFisher based on his attitude about the whole thing i think it’s far more likely that it’s higher than 30k

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

i saw people with their phones out. i said “it looks like someone is.” my mom said, “no. point to someone and say, ‘YOU call 911.’ diffusion of responsibility.” so i did, and the ambulance came before we even made it inside the venue.

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

azealia banks said julia fox is “fucking for fettuccine alfredo and a sample rack” 😭

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

can’t recommend this tactic enough

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

one of my christmas gifts from my mom was a pipe she confiscated from my bedroom over 10 years ago. she cleaned it and wrapped it and everything

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rach

@rachelbelllll

2 years

asked a man one question about elden ring

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rach

@rachelbelllll

3 years

@quakerraina if you see this and you’re my boss keep scrolling plz

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

BREAKING:

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

you won’t believe this one weird trick - doctors hate her!!

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

u can put the bong water thru the brita. u can put milk in the soda stream. u can put molly water in the humidifier. u can be a god amongst men

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

@margotdemarco i said yes - had to break up with my skater boyfriend first tho. told him i was going through a lot because my mom was having carpal tunnel surgery….lmao….

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rach

@rachelbelllll

6 years

if you look closely, you can see that this man from tinder photoshopped himself into a suit

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@rachelbelllll

3 years

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

actually if i don’t receive a package in the mail every day i will perish xx

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@rachelbelllll

5 years

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

@veryharryhill tag yourself, i’m “i love that you just show up whenever”

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

it can be life-saving to delegate in emergency situations! it wasn’t really in my nature to make a command to a stranger in line outside the bruce springsteen show like ‘YOU call 911,’ but if it was you on the ground you’d really hope someone was making sure you got help!

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rach

@rachelbelllll

1 year

when i was 16, i passed out in a crowded rest area bathroom from the pain of an ovarian cyst rupturing. i was unconscious on the floor for 10+ minutes, and i came to with strangers walking past my head on the floor. an unconscious teenage girl. it’s wild how powerful this can be!

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rach

@rachelbelllll

5 years

@Jordannoelstone @YBIGFM @MdotWhitee IT TURNED GREEN. NEON GREEN

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

the united states has 4% of the world’s population and 25% of its COVID-19 cases. the united states has 4% of the world’s population and 22% of the global prison population.

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rach

@rachelbelllll

4 years

we have a persimmon tree in the backyard

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rach

@rachelbelllll

8 years

when i tried shrooms for the first time i thought they weren't working, but then i saw a q-tip on the coffee table and thought 'is that me?'

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