dollar store kirk hammett @olivesagan Twitter profile

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dollar store kirk hammett

@olivesagan

1 month

on my tim lambesis shit

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dollar store kirk hammett

@olivesagan

7 months

watching someone who won the lottery of life gleefully pretend to do a minimum wage job that crushes people’s hopes and dreams has me fantasizing about rebooting the French Revolution franchise for modern audiences

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

7 months

Charli D'Amelio working as a cashier at Walmart in new video.

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@olivesagan

2 years

absolutely insane that people used to publicly update their facebook relationship status to “it’s complicated”

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@olivesagan

3 months

feminism is quite literally the best thing that has ever happened to our species

Time Capsule Tales

@timecaptales

3 months

34-year-old Homer Peel kisses his 12-year-old bride Geneva on the courthouse steps in Madisonville, Tennessee, June 25, 1937.

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@olivesagan

3 years

pretty appropriate stuff to shout at a cop who was in the process of killing someone, actually.

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@olivesagan

1 year

people have been shaving their body hair for less than 100 years and allegedly heterosexual men are so attached to the practice that they're calling one of the hottest women in the world nasty for having armpit hair lmao

New York Post

@nypost

1 year

Rachel McAdams’ armpit hair sparks mixed reaction: ‘That’s just nasty’

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@olivesagan

3 years

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@olivesagan

3 years

can’t believe i never thought of becoming the fastest man on the planet so i could make passive income via endorsements

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@olivesagan

3 years

nothing is worse than having coworkers who do extra work off the clock, or don’t take all their legally mandated breaks. if you do this shit, you are contributing to a workplace culture where worker exploitation becomes an expectation.

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@olivesagan

2 years

it will never stop being funny to me that the most powerful and unpleasant psychedelic drug on earth was briefly legal and being sold in gas stations, and high school kids were lining up to have the worst five minutes of their lives.

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@olivesagan

3 years

POV: you’re an 18 year old girl and you’re about to get chlamydia

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@olivesagan

3 years

if you're single, valentines is a great day to see who has a hot girlfriend and whose relationship is on the rocks. if you see a post starting with "we've had our share of problems but..." it's time to dive in the dms baby.

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@olivesagan

2 years

i always figured cold showers were a dumb grindset thing, but after seeing some research on how deliberate cold exposure facilitates fairly high levels of dopamine release, i decided to give it a rip and i’m a believer now.

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@olivesagan

2 years

we need a new formulation of masculinity where straight men are allowed to see an attractive man on the street and say things like “he’s serving dick and balls”

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dollar store kirk hammett

@olivesagan

4 years

NORMALIZE SHITTING IN THE SHOWER NORMALIZE SHITTING IN THE SHOWER NORMALIZE SHITTING IN THE SHOWER NORMALIZE SHITTING IN THE SHOWER NORMALIZE SHITTING IN THE SHOWER NORMALIZE SHITTING IN THE SHOWER NORMALIZE SHITTING IN THE SHOWER NORMALIZE SHITTING IN THE SHOWER

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@olivesagan

2 years

got 5 minutes? wanna experience 80 years as a sentient DVD, imprisoned in an evil dimension of cold geometric chaos and fluctuating gravity, filled with malevolent entities? boy do i have a substance for you!

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@olivesagan

3 years

hands down the worst class at hogwarts

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@olivesagan

2 years

primate brain go brrr

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@olivesagan

6 years

A crash course in how applying group level analysis to individuals turns you into a heartless piece of shit:

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@olivesagan

1 year

interesting that lmao survived and rofl did not

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@olivesagan

2 years

good pussy will have a dude laid up like this watching The Great British Bake Off talking about “that focaccia deserves a Paul Hollywood handshake”

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@olivesagan

4 years

You’re in her dms, I’m stealthily opening her skincare drawer to use her 435$ bottle of Crème de la Mer to moisturize my dick and balls, we are not the same.

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@olivesagan

6 months

@YahooNews oh no, not shaming a government

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@olivesagan

1 year

your bloodline would have died in the jungle if your ancestors were this lame

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@olivesagan

4 years

most beastmode shit i ever did was jerk off to this as a kid

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@olivesagan

3 years

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@olivesagan

7 months

sorry but i really can’t bring myself to care about this one. idiot and moron are basically the exact same in terms of meaning and etymology. the issue arises when people denigrate actual people with cognitive disabilities, regardless of the words used to do so.

is 〜*:・ﾟ🔻🇵🇸

@witchrealms

8 months

when the fuck did you all get so comfortable using the r slur

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@olivesagan

2 years

nah when i was in university i loved to see 40 and 50 year olds there to continue learning and bettering themselves, and also to make new friends. university is a place for adult learning, it’s not a social club for young people, even if that is the predominant demographic.

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@DetroitEmory

2 years

Pushing 30 and hanging out with undergrads on campus and participating in student organizational activities is very very very very very weird. Concerning as hell.

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@olivesagan

3 years

it says a lot about society when two conventionally attractive women make different facial expressions in different pictures

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@olivesagan

3 years

even if you don’t want a break, take a break for the sake of maintaining the norm that employees take breaks no matter what. if breaks cause a business to be short-handed, they need to feel the crunch so that they can hire more people, and if they don’t, it’s not your problem.

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@olivesagan

2 years

imagine how bad Alien would suck if an indie horror director made it in 2022. instead of being about the horrors of natural selection and the cosmic insignificance of the human animal, the xenomorph would represent Ripley’s trauma over her parent’s divorce.

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dollar store kirk hammett

@olivesagan

5 years

The popular belief that the only point of exercise is to lose weight is soooo fucking annoying. “Why’re you undoing all your work at the gym by eating a pizza afterwords??” Because I wanna be fat and strong you fucking dumbass

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@olivesagan

3 years

can we please not romanticize the toxic gaslighting that accompanies the fetishization of virtue signalling as a marginalized identity within community discourses about victim blaming and the queering of toxic femininity within the context of racialized national identities??

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dollar store kirk hammett

@olivesagan

3 months

@politicaIesbian jfc

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@olivesagan

3 years

i love the comments saying this guy is somehow discrediting himself by not showing remorse for insulting a cop as he crushed the life out of someone. fucking bootlicker pieces of shit man.

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dollar store kirk hammett

@olivesagan

1 year

wow i can’t believe eating raw meat doesn’t just make you look like that

OutKick

@Outkick

1 year

SHOCKING: Liver King was on steroids 💉 Leaked emails shows that Liver King was taking almost $12k worth of pharmaceutical HGH per month, three injections per day. All while promoting his brand of holistic lifestyle, ancestral tenants, and eating raw meat on camera.

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@olivesagan

2 years

i’ve done five minute cold showers a few times now in response to feeling anxious and every time my day has done a 180 and i have felt great for the rest of the day, it’s really drastic too, it almost feels like taking a pill or something.

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@olivesagan

3 years

incredible public display of homicidal sociopathy

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@olivesagan

4 years

remember when you could tweet by texting the twitter number?

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@olivesagan

4 years

leftists @ Uber: wow this is disgusting worker exploitation leftists @ Uber for your pussy: okay this is an epic win for humanity

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dollar store kirk hammett

@olivesagan

3 years

once, after getting arrested as a teen, a female cop told me i looked like chriss angel. i responded by telling her that i was chriss angel, and that i knew how to escape from handcuffs. approximately 5 seconds later i experienced police brutality.

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@olivesagan

3 years

i'm sorry but how do you fuck up a "leftists posting their Ls" account? there is literally a limitless amount of incredible content being generated daily, but instead they went with trying to bully a gay guy for doing cool athletic shit like dancing and backflips.

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@olivesagan

4 years

Just like clockwork: someone does something admirable, the internet enjoys it for 5 minutes, then the narrative flips as everyone discovers they did a BAD THING once. It doesn’t matter how long ago, or how sincere the apologies, their past mistake negates everything else.

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@olivesagan

4 years

Dear men, what is preventing you from looking like this? 😍

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@olivesagan

2 years

apparently you can build up cold tolerance pretty quick, so my plan currently is to reserve cold showers as a tool to use in response to acute anxiety/depression. if you haven’t tried cold exposure and you want another tool in your mental health toolkit, i suggest trying it.

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@olivesagan

3 years

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@olivesagan

1 year

@bluecollarbimbo so much evidence that it increases baseline anxiety and depressive symptoms, really bad idea to use it to treat those problems.

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@olivesagan

3 years

just got banned from trader joe's for refusing to wear pants and underwear. george orwell tried to warn us but we didn’t listen.

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@olivesagan

3 years

imagine the level of delusion you have to have, to think you’re gonna walk into a maximum security prison, quote some dead philosophers, and have the gangster disciples singing kumbaya with the aryan brotherhood

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@olivesagan

9 months

everyone dunking on this woman is retarded. sock on the bat is standard good self defence advice and it’s important to have a hand to hand weapon even if you have a gun. you may not have time to deploy a safely stored firearm in all situations.

Tyler

@tylerofarizona

9 months

I am once again begging women to just buy a gun and train with it 🤦🏼‍♂️

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@olivesagan

3 years

“polyamory is anti-capitalist” i say to myself, as i fill my google calendar with sexual appointments, with people i have ranked according to their importance to me, and have specifically selected to meet my different sexual and emotional needs.

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@olivesagan

7 months

studies repeatedly and clearly show it increases baseline depression and anxiety over time. occasional recreational use or use as a painkiller is fine, using it to improve your mental health is completely counterproductive.

Typatheo

@typatheo

7 months

What opinion about weed will have you like this?

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@olivesagan

3 months

this message is pure poison. living a life that brings you and the people around you long-term happiness and satisfaction requires effort. you’ll have to work on yourself and you’ll have to push against internal and external forces instead of taking the path of least resistance.

lizofheartz

@presentdayliz

4 months

hiiii, you aren’t lazy. That’s not even a real thing. You are under supported, over stimulated, under stimulated, exhausted, sad, dealing with a million competing priorities AND you are doing your absolute best. You need more rest and more care. You are perfect as you are.

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@olivesagan

1 year

@J_K_Chesterton historically cultures have had various norms about body hair for sure

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@olivesagan

10 months

sex for rent is rightfully illegal all over the world. it’s one of the most despicable ways that vulnerable people in precarious housing situations are preyed on.

rosey🌹

@thechosenberg

10 months

Everybody wins here

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@olivesagan

5 years

if you’re dating a hardcore dude, you’re single to me, what’s he gonna do? Make me watch hate5six videos so I can see him moshing at a fest for 3.5 seconds?

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@olivesagan

10 months

pretty obvious that the correct take is that japan was doing all sorts of evil war crimes and that dropping nukes on civilian targets for no good reason was also an evil war crime.

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@olivesagan

3 years

if you think that people should be granted or denied access to healthcare, based on some arbitrary moral assessment of their character, you probably have brain damage

Occupy Democrats

@OccupyDemocrats

3 years

BREAKING: A Colorado clinic DENIES a COVID test to Trumper Candace Owens, telling her that they “cannot support anyone who has helped make the pandemic worse by spreading misinformation, discouraging masks, and dissuading” vaccinations. RT IF YOU SUPPORT THE CLINIC’S DECISION!

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@olivesagan

5 years

PSA: if you are a guy who’s messaged a woman more than two or three times & gotten no response back, she clearly isn’t interested. What you’re doing is embarrassing & makes you look like a creep. I don’t know why this even needs to be said, because this is insane behaviour.

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@olivesagan

2 years

orangutans are one of our closest living relatives and they are critically endangered due to human activity. donate to orangutan survival here:

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@olivesagan

3 years

hi, someone with heavy food sensory issues here! pussy and ass are two of the only things I can actually consume regularly and not get sick from.

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@olivesagan

11 months

people stay mystified about the relationship between caloric intake and physical activity

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@olivesagan

3 years

fellas we’re making the comprehensive list of movies that real men cry during, suggestions welcome

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@olivesagan

3 years

@hanford_site hey man what if we grabbed some swords and rode horses directly at this machine gun nest

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@olivesagan

2 years

instead of watching some 35 year old adolescent, with 500 Funko Pops on a wall behind him, analyze a piece of media at the level of an 8th grade book essay, try reading a book/watching a movie/playing a game, and then use your own brain to think about it and form an opinion.

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@olivesagan

3 years

shameless plug: i do high end audio production for everything from podcasts to audio dramas to radio shows to audiobooks, if you’re a journalist/podcaster/musician/author who needs professional audio production for your next project, shoot me a dm

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@olivesagan

9 months

Guns, Germs and Steel discourse is always funny. people who don’t understand the is-ought gap think the book is racist for explaining the material conditions that led to colonialism. people who are into race science hate the book for refuting their racist theories about history.

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@olivesagan

3 years

break the ice by asking what her and her boyfriend are doing for valentines, throw a little shade if it seems underwhelming, let her vent, time to work some magic

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@olivesagan

7 years

Tell your boyfriend to stop being a fucking pussy

Cosmopolitan

@Cosmopolitan

7 years

How Do I Get My Boyfriend to Go Down on Me?

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@olivesagan

7 years

Life's greatest questions:

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@olivesagan

3 years

okay what the fuck

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@olivesagan

6 years

I hear that white privilege really helps with schizophrenia, drug addiction, malnutrition and being caught in an endless cycle of poverty 🙄

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@olivesagan

2 years

this is hands down the funniest argument i have ever seen someone make on twitter

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@olivesagan

5 years

You owe it to yourself to ditch any romantic partner who wants you to give up on your dreams and aspirations. A good partner gets excited for you to go out into the world and achieve your potential. Life is short and then you die, love shouldn’t be about control and ownership.

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@olivesagan

3 years

@NickAdamsinUSA i know i should boycott ISIS but their coffee just hits different

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@olivesagan

2 years

@goofxist nah the image is largely correct. english teachers spend an embarrassing amount of time doing free association instead of teaching information that’s objectively useful for the interpretation of texts, like historical context.

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@olivesagan

1 year

i don't think any line in media has hit me harder than this

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@olivesagan

3 years

@OccupyDemocrats i seriously doubt this happened, and if it did, it’s incredibly unethical and nobody should be cheering it on

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@olivesagan

2 years

seeing roadkill is something that constantly fucks me up. it profoundly sucks that animals who didn’t evolve in the presence of machines going 100 mph just routinely get levelled because we can’t be bothered to block off roads and make safe under/overpasses for wildlife.

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@olivesagan

2 years

“it’s giving wiener”

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@olivesagan

2 years

there are cultures that believe that the more men contribute sperm to a pregnancy, the stronger the child will turn out. they would consider you to be a very powerful man.

Cody🦝

@CdyRnkn

2 years

I’m sorry but this picture of my mom is fucking iconic

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@olivesagan

10 months

guy who thinks the flynn effect is fake because a greek grammar test looks really hard to people who have never learned greek

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@olivesagan

4 years

If you support Coronavirus, you can go ahead and unfollow me right now

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@olivesagan

6 years

It’s incredible how an idea like white privilege, meant to highlight injustice and inequality, ends up being a bludgeon pointed right at the most marginalized people in our society.

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@olivesagan

7 months

every day i thank god tolkien never had a chance to air his political views on twitter so that i don’t have to see “why didn’t the eagles just fly the ring to mordor” reddit tier discourse like we do for harry potter

Angus Johnston

@studentactivism

7 months

An underappreciated component of JK Rowling's badness as a writer is her utter lack of understanding of how systems and organizations work. That's not how schools work. That's not how government ministries work. That's not how newspapers work. That's not how sports work. That's…

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@olivesagan

3 years

the idea of betraying your own blood relatives, over what basically amounts to political thought crimes, is so despicable that it’s hard to wrap your head around, even as the larper fantasy that it obviously is.

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@olivesagan

4 years

Mary Jane Watson has BPD confirmed

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@olivesagan

5 months

fuck it, amp tree

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@olivesagan

9 months

big free speech guy but i genuinely can’t think of a compelling reason why a viral account called “blacks posting Ls” should be allowed to exist. obviously whipping up violent hatred against a specific group of people, there’s genocidal comments under every post.

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@olivesagan

3 years

trauma is stored in the hips, pee is stored in the balls

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@olivesagan

3 years

female authors be like “he felt the generous weight of his cock and balls bounce lightly in his gym shorts, as he casually jogged up the stairs”

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@olivesagan

3 years

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@olivesagan

4 years

a pyramid scheme that grooms children into posting nudes the day after their 18th birthday!? sign me up, this is what karl marx would have wanted!

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@olivesagan

1 year

i truly believe that if you no longer like 95% of the music you have listened to throughout your life, you are a hollow shell of a person who lives solely for the approval of other people

nat

@antivst

1 year

what was your most embarrassing music phase???

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@olivesagan

3 years

a tablespoon of nutella has 5 grams of fat and 11 carbs. it has half the caloric density of natural peanut butter. spreading it on your toast in the morning won’t negatively impact your health and it tastes good. this picture is dumb as hell.

Trung Phan

@TrungTPhan

3 years

this is a devastating discovery

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@olivesagan

2 years

@madison_tayt there’s a strong reactionary conservative streak in american leftists in general. every american political faction is just retooling protestantism to some degree, because it’s the only moral framework they’re familiar with.

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@olivesagan

8 months

personal responsibility is important, drugs and alcohol are destructive, promiscuous sex is generally not conducive to human flourishing and happiness, physical and mental strength and toughness should be cultivated, a state monopoly on force reduces interpersonal violence