TJ @nyabinghidread Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@DomstaMash

@AlexLol50210530

@DEWYLUS

@incibe_cert

@Karisna

@ibubohay2

@DBDesRoches

@ChpSlo

@bokeplokalmalam

@ElihuWho

@bokeplokalmalam

@Tricep

@fluxlabs

@TURKOGLU_1299

@bokeplokalmalam

@cutlasskelly

@thex_k26232

@aperson514

@_showtimedee

@ya71742

@baecthuv

@koguchirongai

@CryptoEiny

@stw_pdg

@bokeplokalmalam

@urfavhoe249

@cesvitam

@Jauzofficial

@bokeplokalmalam

@SarahBerk474192

@PecintaStwIbu1

@Khulood_Kh

@sinan1055495

@OollaaMustafa

@sinan1055495

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

When I was still a newbie at InterCont, I used to stay on after my shift, & ask if there was anything else I could do. One day a much older colleague took me to a pillar in the lobby and thumped it, saying, "Unaona hii? Ndio imeshikilia hii hoteli, hapana wewe. Enda nyumbani." 😂

148

2K

4K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

I miss Nakumatt for how well the shop attendants knew the floor layout & location of items. Not these people of, "Hiyo tuko nayo kweli?"

94

553

3K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 years

Of all Uhuru's nicknames, the most disrespectful is Gatundu Mutesa II. 😭

69

626

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

8 years

Smh at my daughter's tone asking me why I haven't renewed the GoTV subscription. This one needs to get her own place.

172

3K

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 years

Dads will be aggressive & unapproachable all your growing life then one day out of nowhere they wanna start having random & regular ass conversations?? Like, I don’t know you like that. And it’s not even a grudge thing; it’s just unfamiliarity.

41

652

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 years

‘Head Office’ is such an original name for a barber-shop.

21

359

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 years

Nairobi has a certain perpetual urgency. A restlessness. An agitation. A tension. A certain uneasy vibration that hovers over it. You don't realise or feel it till you step away. Everyone needs to take regular breaks from this city, even if for just 24 hours.

40

754

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

Tomorrow I'm leaving home at 3.30am for work. 😭😭 What's this life?? If my dad had stolen land instead of dancing to Daudi Kabaka, I'd be pale on IG posting fake inspirational quotes & reminding people we all have 24 hours. 😎

57

1K

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

One of the few occasions I've worn a jacket was when I went to my daughter's pretend restaurant in 2015. She couldn't stand to hear that her prices didn't match the food quality. 😂

59

479

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 years

In other matters, one must either be very familiar with this area or brave, to take out their phone here. 😂

36

480

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

1 year

The day I woke up to a show-cause letter from my daughter. 😅😅

Bereketeab

@sir_benedictx

1 year

Favorite tweet of your own?

1K

642

8K

102

349

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

Constant reassurance & honest communication is how to love an overthinker.

16

581

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

This is how my bro has shared his good news in the family WhatsApp group. My mum has called me to ask if that means they are so broke, they only have a tiny piece of bread left! 😂 😂 😂

63

775

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

If anyone knows or is friends with a burglar, could you ask them for me which is a good & secure padlock brand for the home. Thanks.

71

394

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

2 years

Marie Stopes’ 5-day, free vasectomy camp was supposed to be offered only at the Eastleigh clinic. But by Day 2 the turnout was so huge, they had to redirect some of the traffic to the Sameer Business Park branch. But boys on Twitter would have you imagine no man would do it.

23

597

2K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

"Gichana fupi, amenona, round, huwesi jua tumbo ni wapi, mgongo ni wapi." 😂 😂 I had to find the longer version of this video. West Pokot Governor, Prof. John Lonyang'apuo is such a natural clown! Plus the accent just completes the unintentional comedy act.

103

808

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

We had a persistent cockroach infestation in the staff locker rooms of a hotel I worked at. One day during a recurrent fumigation, a colleague of mine asked one of the contractors, "Hii dawa huwa mnanyunyiza hapa, ni ya kuua mende ama ya kuwapa mimba?" 😂 He got a warning letter.

54

600

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 years

I've seen a jav with a painting of Johnny Bravo captioned, 'Johnte Mpenda Ngeus'. 😂

24

273

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

One day on a late-night KBS Number 36 to Ngummo, a drunk man squinted his eyes at the conductor and slurred, "Wewe! Si nilikulipa asubuhi?" 😂 😂 😂

61

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

Mnitumie pesa ya gas ama nifinye finye hii cylinder kama tube ya Colgate mimi.

56

588

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 months

The OG. ✊🏿

Raila Odinga

@RailaOdinga

3 months

I’m a very proud father today! Hongera sana to the young lady and all those who bravely stood up for their rights!

2K

14K

50K

1

365

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

I finally found who is behind the brightening of some of Nairobi's public spaces.

16

560

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

2 years

It should be a thing that anytime a speaker at a wedding says, “Ndoa ni kuvumilia”, their mic is cut off. People should vumilia pilipili, constipation & the economy, not the people they have chosen to love & live with. Dead that script!

17

360

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

Children should have their parents' unconditional assurance that they can always return home.

12

337

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

President Pombe is such a snitch. 😂 Uhunye is laughing that one for, "Buda unachoma jo."

48

587

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

You had to be there...

60

295

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

Eliud Kipchoge needing to explain what happened in the race <<<<< We sometimes place our heroes on such a lofty pedestal, we forget how human they are.

8

193

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

Oya, near-death Twitter, who is the all-time baddest bitch of the biscuit world? Like for Nice, RT for Marie.

64

119

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

1 year

Bold of you to assume I ever knew how to. 😭

Maktejah Brian™ 🚘

@maktejah_

1 year

Do you still remember how to use a Mathematics log table?

29

10

51

21

399

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

7 months

A friend of mine told me these days she takes cold showers because of how hot it has been lately. Let me tell you: it could be as hot as the day of judgment…

24

293

1K

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

My daughter quoting & crediting. 👏🏿

58

281

967

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

This is such small dick energy.

10

235

956

TJ

@nyabinghidread

2 months

My sister is finally free from pain & invasive treatments. She now rests in the most perfect & eternal peace. I hope one day our souls will be reunited. Nind gi kwe, Achieng' nyar Okoth. 🕊

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 months

God, please heal my sister. Ease her suffering. 🤲🏿 Amen.

18

5

63

198

101

917

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 months

DJ Evolve will not make it to any of them.

Babu Owino

@HEBabuOwino

3 months

We should have Shujaas memorial concert every 7th July #sabasaba2024

101

610

3K

7

576

852

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 years

This gender never brings their own jacket when going out. 😏 But they'll end up with a jacket anyway. 😂

11

161

841

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

I found out later that they were quoting real sections of the law.

Kenyan Facts 🇰🇪

@KResearcher

6 years

It's important to note that Vioja Mahakamani was actually a civic education comedy that tried to teach Kenyans matters of the law on different issues.

23

406

750

10

382

798

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

Do y'all ever sit and remember that 7 years ago, Malaysian Airlines, Flight MH370, operated by a whole B777-200, disappeared without trace with 239 souls on board and has never been located to-date??!

43

331

780

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

A curious thing about this Covid-19 virus is how it monitors social behaviour; doesn't infect people when there are less than 100 gathered, is more active after 9pm but retires promptly at 4am, is aggressive in bars but coy in restaurants...

14

322

781

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

This clip has cracked me up. Mike Tyson is asked a question by a journalist in India and it appears from the accent he must have thought the guy wasn't speaking English! 😂 😂

52

469

755

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

1. Mind (and I can't stress this enough) your business.

The Mirror

@DailyMirror

5 years

Steps you can take if you think your neighbours are smoking cannabis

178

34

62

10

380

760

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

Apenji, ma Dunga ema ichwado filter ma koro chalo mana paradiso ma ni e buge Jehovah's Witnesses. 😂

96

356

751

TJ

@nyabinghidread

1 year

I came across an exam paper my daughter wrote when she was 11. Check out the answer to Question 12. 😄

52

144

754

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

My dad advised me that when travelling by road & the bus makes a stop, follow the driver & conductor. They not only know where the food is good/clean, what they order might give you an idea how long the stop might be.

15

447

730

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

Ice?! Bye Bosco, Nyasaye akulinde. 💔

CNN

@CNN

4 years

This dog owner wasted no time jumping into a frozen pool to save her pup, Sid

87

452

3K

43

218

719

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

Today my daughter surprised me by the gutsy side I didn't know she had. 😍 The street performer, Sam Kule, was very gracious to us.

21

131

715

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

Look what they've done to an iconic & beloved snack. 😭

86

253

693

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

One time Poxi Presha was opening for Joseph Hill at Nyayo & the crowd was booing. He stopped the music & said, "Wasee, mnajua nini, huyo jamaa hatakuja stage saa hii. Vile hii concert imepangwa, lazima niimbe first. So afadhali mtulie nimalize; nimebakisha song tatu." 😂 😂

27

625

683

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

All Kisiis move to the US eventually.

48

155

677

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

I want to practise a romantic love that thrives in freedom; a love where my partner doesn't a feel a sense of duty, burden, obligation, constraints or unfair emotional/physical labour. It's still an abstract idea so I hope I can find resources to learn from...

13

160

624

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

Do you mentally convert foreign currency to Ksh, when you're abroad? A shop attendant in Dubai once told me, "Bradhe, ukiendelea hivyo hakuna kitu utanunua. Pesa za huku ni za huku, za home ni za home." He said first time he moved there, he couldn't even buy bread w/o cringing.

65

217

606

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

I caught a Dar Lux coach from the Namanga border post to Nairobi. It has WiFi, comfy seats, functioning W.C. & USB charging ports. For Ksh 500, it's super bang for buck.

24

234

606

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

Yoh! People!! Have you been to The Collective at View Park Towers?? My goodness, this place is vibes. It's an art gallery in a restaurant & a restaurant in an art gallery. They are currently featuring collaboration between @ClaversOdhiambo & vinyl artist, Njogu.

29

253

613

TJ

@nyabinghidread

3 years

Lucy Kibaki was never one to mince words.

15

237

601

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

@OwichBrio For what reason have you posted this on social media? Don't you imagine how it's further traumatising for the young girl?

4

23

553

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

Some of @EbruTVKenya 's show, #EbruJibonge , are sexual harassment by any definition. Watch this interaction; observe how clearly uncomfortable the women are, how the rude male host still follows & tells some of them off & how he liberally touches them!! 🤢

206

543

584

TJ

@nyabinghidread

2 years

Such a slow cooking method.

13

150

536

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

A few weeks before KCSE, my math teacher pleaded with me, "Jullu, I've been teaching for 35 years, no student of mine has ever scored an E. I'm about to retire; please don't blemish my record." Guess who scored a D - and made his teacher proud??

23

365

519

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

"You're on Twitter a lot." And you know that by being on? Radio?

6

192

498

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

Is the VOLUME OK??

5

249

483

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

I recently found out there's a bunch of friends called #UjiCrew , that meets regularly to talk, laugh, crack jokes & hug, over Uji. Isn't that the most beautiful thing you ever heard?

30

206

478

TJ

@nyabinghidread

7 years

Charcoal-grilled corn kernels on cob garnished with lemon, salt & pepper.

40

578

476

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

We grew with a Gusii boy called 'Pope', who we all presumed was named after the head of the Catholic Church. It's only in very recent years we found his name was 'Bob.' 😂

30

126

473

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

Kuna legend alitoa 200. Jane Muthoni managed 5. Shapiro, 50 kwanza, akaenda 'hivi kidogo', akarudi na 20. Hawa na masela wa pale jiweni, most for whom these amounts are their daily budget. But when they heard Bonnie's newborn "Ati amefungiwa hosy?!" they stepped up. Ubuntu. ♥

21

292

468

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

How are embassies coping without the thousands of shillings in non-refundable visa fees? 😏

28

197

474

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

"Kama sketi ya shule inakuchanganya, mshonee mkeo."

6

353

448

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

"Do you think Kenyan chillez are too available? Are they too loose? Are they too willing? Are they too desperate?" ~ @ShaffieWeru Well, turns out Kenyan chillez can plot, plan, strategize, organize and mobilize swiftly & effectively to deplatform rape apologists. 👑

6

166

464

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

In high school I was stupid in math & science and the teachers & I had made peace with it. Our Biology lab had snakes preserved in some liquid in jars at the back of the class. The teacher used to tell me, "Wewe keti pale nyuma uangalie nyoka." 😭

46

202

451

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

Why do Joluo dendo names? Akoth becomes Akothee. Ochieng' is Ochibo. Even English names aren't spared. My cousin George is called Ajos. 😂 Washington is Awosi. 😂 😂

138

185

458

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

There's always a new type of bathroom symbol.

12

229

446

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

One time I decided to affirm my daughter but I think I overdid it. 😂

32

94

452

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

An ex-colleague of mine who was recently laid off has opened an eatery at ACK Peter's Church, Kahawa Sukari. It's called Cluster Place Café. Y'all go & have a delicious meal and support her if you're in the area. RT

2

244

417

TJ

@nyabinghidread

2 years

I hardly take any photos bc I don’t think I’m terribly photogenic but these look nice to me so wanted y’all to see them. 😊

25

18

418

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

Yesterday I heard the most beautiful & fascinating story. There's a group of female friends in Nairobi who meet privately to just smoke weed & masturbate! And once in a while, they get someone to teach them Weed Yoga. What level of self-love & friendship is that!! ♥ ♥

53

164

394

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

Kumbe 'Kiwaru' has a scientific name.

5

170

403

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

Lately I've been pondering about 'ultimatum' friendships. Friendships that require walking on eggshells and watching one's words & actions. Friendships that nearly require a performance checklist to make sure one is friending right. Fickle & tenuous friendships.

11

240

381

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

I once lived with an aunt in Mukuru Kwa Njenga. We survived on a hand-to-mouth & often, 'nil-to-mouth' basis. Today one of my brothers took me on a tour of his various business projects around Njenga, Fedha & Imara, in his own car. He also bought out our former landlord! 🙏🏿 🙏🏿 👏🏿

19

89

374

TJ

@nyabinghidread

7 years

@ahmednasirlaw @WehliyeMohamed @DonaldBKipkorir I support NASA but hata mimi nimechoka. These are just musical chairs. Even if we bring Form 34B to Z, the will of the people is clear.

27

217

368

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

On this day 12 years ago, exactly a week before my birthday, my daughter arrived in the world. A 3.6kg, 50.5cm bundle that has brought me joy ever since I set my eyes on her. This girl is the thing that beats on the left side of my chest. 💕

16

17

345

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

Si ungengoja kama 1 month hivi we forget the original tweet.

Munjiru wa mbari ya Karanja

@wakariowa

6 years

Lady in Naivas yesterday told her son 'PUT THAT SHIT BACK' so loud i almost put my stuff back.

17

82

149

15

325

343

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

I ate a measly plate of chips at my daughter's Sports Day earlier today. Now I'm back home, tryna live my happy chapo & ndengu life. Why then has this child come to the kitchen with, "Kwani you're eating again?" 😡 Chieth.

15

73

337

TJ

@nyabinghidread

1 year

There’s something, & I can’t quite a place a finger on it, that makes it hard to watch & listen to Caroline for long.

Nyandia Gachago, ACIM

@Nyandia_G

1 year

Caroline Mutoko: A masterclass at being. ‘Are you making bank? Is payroll dependent on you? Until then…Lower Your Voice’ Ha! OBSESSED ♥️♥️♥️

26

163

564

38

103

343

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

It's never not a good time to bring back this interaction. 😂

19

202

332

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

My bro brought me a live chicken. It was all fun & games when my daughter & I were feeding it kumbe the child thought it was a pet. She came back from school and found it had been converted into stew. The look on her face & the tone of her voice... 😭 😭

26

218

330

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

My daughter has neither heard of nor been to the GP Karting Racing Circuit, so I decided to surprise her. I even told the cab driver not to mention anything about our destination. Kufika, sis wasn't impressed much. "No, dad. Not my kind of thing." I'm fine. 😬 Not.

39

80

317

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

First time my friend & I tried the hyped Smirnoff Ice, we weren't feeling it so we decided to buy Viceroy and use the Smirnoff as mixer. My fren. At the end the night, I tucked the kanzu I was wearing into the shorts I had underneath and jogged from Pipeline to Doonholm. 😂😭

30

225

316

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

@RamzZy_ Oye!

2

7

316

TJ

@nyabinghidread

1 year

This is really pious of Tory Lanez. I hope he gets a lengthy sentence so that his evangelical mission is not interrupted. Praise be to Jesus. 🙏🏿

Meghann Cuniff

@meghanncuniff

1 year

A jail chaplain spoke about Lanez starting a daily prayer in the protective custody unit that has lessened the tensions between inmates. He said of the 15,000 inmates he's come into contact with, Lanez stands out. He said the daily moment of prayer is really powerful.

60

95

508

9

71

310

TJ

@nyabinghidread

4 years

Where the OGs at?

29

82

313

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

Sneak hand-written notes into your children's lunch-boxes & pencil pouches, reminding them how kind, brilliant & beautiful they are and that you love them. 💝

9

98

313

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

Once a upon a time, my daughter wore a full crown of dreadlocks, which my Rastafari, receding hairline self was vicariously living through. Then one day she woke up and decided she wanted them gone. 😭 😭 I've never recovered from it.

25

65

293

TJ

@nyabinghidread

7 years

Magunga amechoka 😂

20

522

310

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

It could be as hot as the day of judgement but, a cold shower? I'm not boarding. ✋🏿 The sting of cold water is a boarding school trauma that I'll never recover from.

15

151

298

TJ

@nyabinghidread

2 years

God, don’t help her. She’s occupying an unconstitutional office.

Hon Millicent Omanga

@MillicentOmanga

2 years

Official: Chief Administrative Secretary - Ministry of Interior and National Administration...SO HELP ME GOD 🙏

982

342

5K

4

124

299

TJ

@nyabinghidread

6 years

My mum told us of a preacher on a KBS who had carried a small bucket to collect sadaka in. Someone asked him, "Hizi pesa watu wanatafuta kwa nguvu hivi, wewe unataka kuchota na ndoo?" 😂 😂

11

355

284

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 months

A friend of mine has invited me to his home & suggested I plant a tree during the visit. It's the coolest idea I've ever heard. 😃 I'll always suggest it when I invite people to my shagz or visit theirs. Imagine green & living memories of your friends all around the home. 🌳

6

84

285

TJ

@nyabinghidread

2 months

Dear friends, we need your help to take my sister back to Jimo, Nyakach, one final time. 🕊 Every little counts & is received with much gratitude. 🙏🏿

5

348

287

TJ

@nyabinghidread

7 years

I wanted to buy a mango for Ksh. 30 but I've decided to add Ksh. 140 and buy a can of White Cap instead because 2018 is about wise financial decisions.

13

321

271

TJ

@nyabinghidread

5 years

My 11yo daughter just completed her second solo intercontinental flight. When these guys are babies, you wish they were a little older so they'd do more things by themselves. Then one day they are suddenly grown, talmbout, "Dad, don't worry about me." 😩😩

20

18

274

TJ

@nyabinghidread

7 months

Have you met a prolific texter who’s equally as enthusiastic about matching you paragraph for paragraph & replies all the questions in a text?? ☺️

11

44

283