Ava @noampomsky Twitter profile

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 years

fifth-wave feminism

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@noampomsky

1 year

my friend said that when you have high verbal intelligence (good at expressing yourself/arguing) you should be careful not to take advantage of other people who are less good at “debating” and that’s always stuck with me

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@noampomsky

11 months

guy who gets addicted to instagram reels bc he’s trying to avoid getting addicted to tiktok

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@noampomsky

10 months

“To love someone is to love their patterns, their rituals, the things that already take up space in their life. To love someone is to work with who they already are and decide if you can accept it.”

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Ava

@noampomsky

11 months

finding really good friends is more important than almost anything else you can be doing

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 month

on friendship breakups

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@noampomsky

1 month

my favorite feeling in the world is “I’ve done everything I could, and whatever happens from now on is not my fault so I can just relax”

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@noampomsky

8 months

today I became an American citizen!!! 🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🍔🏈🇺🇸

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@noampomsky

18 days

romantic relationships/best friends/therapists are critical for the same reason, where this person can become the primary person who explains you to *you*, the supplement to your internal monologue, and can rewire your understanding of yourself for way better or for way worse

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

nyc is abt spending $35 1800 times a week

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

this is good corecore

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

can’t explain why but having one or two little projects you’re very absorbed by is critical for your general wellbeing

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 years

I always bump into this guy at my favorite coffee shop reading esoteric philosophy books at weird hours so I asked him where he works. he works at palantir

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 month

I believe that if you want something badly there’s usually a way to get it but life will really test you on the “how badly” part

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

humiliating yourself for love is one of the most formative young adult experiences you can have

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

I want to do a post about avoiding cult leaders but some basic advice: 1) well-intentioned ppl don’t try to obscure things 2) charisma doesn’t imply correctness/intelligence 3) healthy people don’t try to control you 4) almost all ppl w grand sweeping messages are egomaniacs

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Ava

@noampomsky

13 days

today she hit me with “guilt can be a way to avoid agency”

Ava

@noampomsky

19 days

my therapist said “love has its own integrity” and I didn’t know what that means until I did

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

my one dating tip in life is to never be with someone who makes you feel responsible for their mood. unique and horrible form of torture

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

all u have to do is to forcefully but reapectfully kiss a girl who’s already attracted to you at the exact point of the night she finds most romantic. what’s the problem

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

I think people are dropping out of social life bc they’re not interested in participating in zero-sum games

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

especially applies in romantjc relationships/close friendships, where you never “win” by outarguing someone

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

“people can only meet you as deeply as they meet themselves” is such an amazing line

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

okay tiktok fucked up the audio but i need to share my dating app conspiracy theory

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

amazing how not being insecure about an “unattractive” quality instantly makes you way more attractive

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

I live and die by this

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

i wish all mindfulness lectures were delivered in this exact tone

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 years

my friend was outside a tacqueria in SF when a guy asked him for a burrito. thinking the guy was homeless my friend said “sure” and bought him the burrito. then the guy was like “do you know any frontend engineers I could hire for my startup?”

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Ava

@noampomsky

5 months

whatever mexico city is doing with decorative foliage… I like it

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Ava

@noampomsky

7 months

forget look gaps or iq gaps can we talk about interestingness gaps in relationships

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

Chinese family-owned restaurants are closing because there’s no one to take over but the parents are happy because that means their children have good professional jobs and can lead a less grueling life 😭😭😭

Chinese Restaurants Are Closing. That’s a Good Thing, the Owners Say. (Published 2019)

The share of Chinese restaurants has fallen in metro areas across the country in the last five years. Many owners are glad their children won’t be taking over.

www.nytimes.com

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

I feel like a lot of US citizens don’t quite get how hard it is to get an immigrant visa even if you are super qualified—many friends/family have struggled w the H1-B lottery or spent months applying for an O1 or got denied entry even though they have MIT degrees/great jobs/etc

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

“You have to do the thing you actually enjoy doing, not the thing you find conceptually exciting.”

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

I’ve noticed that tons of smart/empathetic people are insecure in a way that makes them susceptible to falling into various “cults.” hence why actors etc are v vulnerable. the smarter you are the more you incorrectly think you can’t be controlled

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 years

the beauty of tech is that you can hit the career milestones of a 40-year-old at 21 and live like a 21-year-old until you’re 40

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

a dude’s entire personality can just be that he loves financial arbitrage

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

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Ava

@noampomsky

14 days

I used to be obsessed with the question of whether people can change and now I’m sure that most people can, just… when they’re ready and probably not on your terms

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

everyone knows friendship chemistry and relationship chemistry are different things but I posit that a lot of problems come from dating people you have no friendship chemistry with

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 years

eating alone at nice restaurants is underrated

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

graduate from college -> group house in the mission -> “luxury” apartment building in soma you can barely afford -> cozy apartment in hayes valley with boyfriend, small dog -> leave founder boyfriend for more successful founder boyfriend -> house in los altos -> first child at 35

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Ava

@noampomsky

11 months

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

two parents having a weirdly sophisticated conversation w their teenage children (about how AI can improve chemotherapy and nuclear particles and GDPR) and it’s blowing my mind. the kids seem really engaged? families like this exist? how does this happen

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Ava

@noampomsky

16 days

it kind of changed my life when my friend was like, “if you’re trying to do something for 50 years, why sweat the first five years?”

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

I’ve investigated at length and determined that in order to be happy in any given city all you need is six close friends there

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Ava

@noampomsky

5 months

sometimes you meet someone whose brain you want to wear over your brain like a hat. thinking is just more fun with them

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Ava

@noampomsky

10 months

am totally convinced that willpower is largely about your conscious and your subconscious aligning… when I really want to do something and I “can’t make myself do it” usually it’s bc I don’t really want to

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Ava

@noampomsky

6 months

great products become verbs. like edging (microsoft edge) and binging (microsoft bing)

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Ava

@noampomsky

5 months

asked a guy how he was feeling and he told me his mile time for his morning run ?

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Ava

@noampomsky

7 months

becoming who you actually are requires you choosing the life that wants you back

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Ava

@noampomsky

7 months

the longer you ignore something dysfunctional in your life the deeper ingrained it becomes, which makes you dig your heels in more to avoid changing it, which makes you unhappier, which makes you—

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Ava

@noampomsky

11 months

making and keeping friends

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

it is pretty upsetting to realize most people who are high-achieving are just exceptionally neurotic lol

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

realized the reason why competence is soothing is bc you know that if they want something they’ll make it happen. feels clear/aligned. most ppl are in this weird middle ground where they don’t know what they want and if they do they don’t know how to get it

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

sometimes you have to read a book at the exact right time in your life for it to really click

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 months

the most important thing you can do is to actively look for the people you love, and make yourself easy to find

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

paper menus are 1000x better than qr code menus. death to qr code menus

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 months

the highest sign of psychological safety is the freedom to send crazy texts

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

ruminating too much is a sign that 1) you don’t trust your instincts and 2) you believe that if you think about something enough you can control it

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

it’s so funny that every single person’s worldview is so directly and obviously tied to how they feel abt themselves (self-loathing, self-loving, open, afraid)

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

this is an amazing ad because every couple I know that met on hinge actually looks EXACTLY like this

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

no point in getting annoyed at someone for their worldview when you realize that having to live with that worldview is its own punishment

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 years

met someone in a 12-year relationship and asked him “what do you think makes the relationship work” and he was like “i’ve literally never thought about that before.” true chad energy

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Ava

@noampomsky

5 months

we are in the middle of the best five days of the year for reading

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

totally changed my life when I learned that emotions are not innate but culturally constructed: the biological axes are low arousal/high arousal and low pleasantness/high pleasantness and all the rest is interpretation 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Ava

@noampomsky

6 months

to fully take up space in your own life you have to do difficult things for a long time

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Ava

@noampomsky

9 months

the genre of self-sabotage where you work really hard, actually get what you want, and then proceed to fuck it up for yourself is fascinating to me. like why does that happen

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Ava

@noampomsky

10 months

can’t believe I never heard of kowloon walled city until today. 50,000 people living in 6.4 acres, demolished in 1993

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

watching several of my guy friends go through the transition where—having achieved financial stability and an envy-inducing career trajectory at the age of 26—they suddenly get a therapist and a personal trainer, take up skydiving and start looking for a fiancée

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 months

on uselessness

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

biggest problem with polyamory is that it’s unromantic

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

the day has come: I miss drinking terrible beer in a crowded living room while someone asks me how long I’ve lived in SF and what I do for work

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

when people talk in therapyspeak/like a non-violent communication textbook it signals a lack of emotional intelligence imo

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

“But everyone can tell. Everyone sees everything.”

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

just saw a tiktok where a girl was like you should put vanilla extract in the oven in a coffee mug for 15 minutes before he comes over so your apartment smells like cookies and he associates cookies with you. we’re taking pavlovian conditioning too far

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

in a bar and this girl is talking about how she’s seeing a guy who told her “I want to keep dating other woman even if you’re not okay with it” and she’s like “It makes me feel bad but I’m trying to adjust” and I’m silently screaming nooo

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 years

every guy I know is obsessed with matt levine

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Ava

@noampomsky

11 months

you could make a good living insider trading off what you see on people’s laptop screens on SFO-JFK flights

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 years

the best gauge of intimacy is the first people you want to tell good news and bad news

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

“If your three closest friends all tell you the same thing, listen to them. As long as you actually like your friends and think they’re smart, there are no exceptions to this rule.”

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

people who say there are no hot people in SF need to understand that conventional hotness is not that valued in this city; instead of hitting on models dudes here want to make sure you at least won a MIT hackathon before you ghost each other after a second date at state bird

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

once you realize that most people conflate “niceness” with “lacks boundaries” so many things make sense

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

once in a while you see a startup idea that’s actually brilliant and not in a competitive space either but then it’s like are you ready to dedicate 15 years of your life to a cement-pouring company

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Ava

@noampomsky

3 years

blew me away when I realized “being emotionally intelligent” is different from “talking intelligently about your emotions” lol

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@noampomsky

4 years

In Fedex’s early days they were once denied a critical loan and had only 5k left in the bank. The founder, Fred Smith, took the company's last $5000 to Vegas and won 27k gambling on blackjack to cover the fuel bill for one more week. Shortly after he raised $11 million

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Ava

@noampomsky

6 months

if you plan to tear down someone’s entire value system it’s important to provide them with a good alternative

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

if I were a guy I’d def become a male yoga teacher. no other profession where girls look at you so worshipfully

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Ava

@noampomsky

7 months

getting things done without an external forcing function

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

has lockdown made anyone else realize they’re super introverted? turns out I only need ~5 people in my life

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

I find this so funny: they thought women wanted emotion turns out women just wanted murder 😂

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Ava

@noampomsky

10 months

sunscreen, snail mucin serum, and tretinoin are the only real skincare products

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Ava

@noampomsky

11 months

I don’t understand people who like living in hot places. like you just enjoy being sticky all day??

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

omg she’s reinventing the okcupid chart from first principles

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@noampomsky

1 year

I have this problem where I’m living in darkness constantly bc all the windows in the house are blocked by massive amounts of snow but there’s so much snow I have no idea how I would even remove it lol

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

can’t explain it but the platonic ideal of friendship is that you could just randomly sleep on someone’s couch for a week and they wouldn’t complain

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 year

triggered

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Ava

@noampomsky

4 years

it blows my mind how inefficient most of formal education is compared to just finding a good tutorial online and following it 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

I wish I had a better articulation of this but: once you find something once it’s infinitely easier to find it again

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Ava

@noampomsky

2 years

I like working-out-of-hotel-lobby culture

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Ava

@noampomsky

1 month

wait this post on how to get unstuck is so good it makes me sick

Rob Henderson

@robkhenderson

1 month

"the mediocrity trap: situations that are bad-but-not-too-bad keep you forever in their orbit...Terrible situations, once exited, often become funny stories or proud memories. Mediocre situations, long languished in, simply become Lost Years"

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