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@noampomsky

52,402
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607
Following
1,855
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7,284
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bookbear

Joined March 2015
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 years
fifth-wave feminism
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
my friend said that when you have high verbal intelligence (good at expressing yourself/arguing) you should be careful not to take advantage of other people who are less good at “debating” and that’s always stuck with me
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@noampomsky
Ava
11 months
guy who gets addicted to instagram reels bc he’s trying to avoid getting addicted to tiktok
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@noampomsky
Ava
10 months
“To love someone is to love their patterns, their rituals, the things that already take up space in their life. To love someone is to work with who they already are and decide if you can accept it.”
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@noampomsky
Ava
11 months
finding really good friends is more important than almost anything else you can be doing
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 month
on friendship breakups
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 month
my favorite feeling in the world is “I’ve done everything I could, and whatever happens from now on is not my fault so I can just relax”
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@noampomsky
Ava
8 months
today I became an American citizen!!! 🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🍔🏈🇺🇸
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@noampomsky
Ava
18 days
romantic relationships/best friends/therapists are critical for the same reason, where this person can become the primary person who explains you to *you*, the supplement to your internal monologue, and can rewire your understanding of yourself for way better or for way worse
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
nyc is abt spending $35 1800 times a week
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
this is good corecore
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
can’t explain why but having one or two little projects you’re very absorbed by is critical for your general wellbeing
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 years
I always bump into this guy at my favorite coffee shop reading esoteric philosophy books at weird hours so I asked him where he works. he works at palantir
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 month
I believe that if you want something badly there’s usually a way to get it but life will really test you on the “how badly” part
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
humiliating yourself for love is one of the most formative young adult experiences you can have
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
I want to do a post about avoiding cult leaders but some basic advice: 1) well-intentioned ppl don’t try to obscure things 2) charisma doesn’t imply correctness/intelligence 3) healthy people don’t try to control you 4) almost all ppl w grand sweeping messages are egomaniacs
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@noampomsky
Ava
13 days
today she hit me with “guilt can be a way to avoid agency”
@noampomsky
Ava
19 days
my therapist said “love has its own integrity” and I didn’t know what that means until I did
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
my one dating tip in life is to never be with someone who makes you feel responsible for their mood. unique and horrible form of torture
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
all u have to do is to forcefully but reapectfully kiss a girl who’s already attracted to you at the exact point of the night she finds most romantic. what’s the problem
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
I think people are dropping out of social life bc they’re not interested in participating in zero-sum games
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
especially applies in romantjc relationships/close friendships, where you never “win” by outarguing someone
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
“people can only meet you as deeply as they meet themselves” is such an amazing line
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
okay tiktok fucked up the audio but i need to share my dating app conspiracy theory
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
amazing how not being insecure about an “unattractive” quality instantly makes you way more attractive
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
I live and die by this
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
i wish all mindfulness lectures were delivered in this exact tone
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 years
my friend was outside a tacqueria in SF when a guy asked him for a burrito. thinking the guy was homeless my friend said “sure” and bought him the burrito. then the guy was like “do you know any frontend engineers I could hire for my startup?”
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@noampomsky
Ava
5 months
whatever mexico city is doing with decorative foliage… I like it
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@noampomsky
Ava
7 months
forget look gaps or iq gaps can we talk about interestingness gaps in relationships
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
Chinese family-owned restaurants are closing because there’s no one to take over but the parents are happy because that means their children have good professional jobs and can lead a less grueling life 😭😭😭
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
I feel like a lot of US citizens don’t quite get how hard it is to get an immigrant visa even if you are super qualified—many friends/family have struggled w the H1-B lottery or spent months applying for an O1 or got denied entry even though they have MIT degrees/great jobs/etc
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
“You have to do the thing you actually enjoy doing, not the thing you find conceptually exciting.”
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
I’ve noticed that tons of smart/empathetic people are insecure in a way that makes them susceptible to falling into various “cults.” hence why actors etc are v vulnerable. the smarter you are the more you incorrectly think you can’t be controlled
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 years
the beauty of tech is that you can hit the career milestones of a 40-year-old at 21 and live like a 21-year-old until you’re 40
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
a dude’s entire personality can just be that he loves financial arbitrage
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
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@noampomsky
Ava
14 days
I used to be obsessed with the question of whether people can change and now I’m sure that most people can, just… when they’re ready and probably not on your terms
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
everyone knows friendship chemistry and relationship chemistry are different things but I posit that a lot of problems come from dating people you have no friendship chemistry with
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 years
eating alone at nice restaurants is underrated
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
graduate from college -> group house in the mission -> “luxury” apartment building in soma you can barely afford -> cozy apartment in hayes valley with boyfriend, small dog -> leave founder boyfriend for more successful founder boyfriend -> house in los altos -> first child at 35
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@noampomsky
Ava
11 months
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
two parents having a weirdly sophisticated conversation w their teenage children (about how AI can improve chemotherapy and nuclear particles and GDPR) and it’s blowing my mind. the kids seem really engaged? families like this exist? how does this happen
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@noampomsky
Ava
16 days
it kind of changed my life when my friend was like, “if you’re trying to do something for 50 years, why sweat the first five years?”
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
I’ve investigated at length and determined that in order to be happy in any given city all you need is six close friends there
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@noampomsky
Ava
5 months
sometimes you meet someone whose brain you want to wear over your brain like a hat. thinking is just more fun with them
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@noampomsky
Ava
10 months
am totally convinced that willpower is largely about your conscious and your subconscious aligning… when I really want to do something and I “can’t make myself do it” usually it’s bc I don’t really want to
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@noampomsky
Ava
6 months
great products become verbs. like edging (microsoft edge) and binging (microsoft bing)
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@noampomsky
Ava
5 months
asked a guy how he was feeling and he told me his mile time for his morning run ?
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@noampomsky
Ava
7 months
becoming who you actually are requires you choosing the life that wants you back
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@noampomsky
Ava
7 months
the longer you ignore something dysfunctional in your life the deeper ingrained it becomes, which makes you dig your heels in more to avoid changing it, which makes you unhappier, which makes you—
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@noampomsky
Ava
11 months
making and keeping friends
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
it is pretty upsetting to realize most people who are high-achieving are just exceptionally neurotic lol
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
realized the reason why competence is soothing is bc you know that if they want something they’ll make it happen. feels clear/aligned. most ppl are in this weird middle ground where they don’t know what they want and if they do they don’t know how to get it
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
sometimes you have to read a book at the exact right time in your life for it to really click
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 months
the most important thing you can do is to actively look for the people you love, and make yourself easy to find
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
paper menus are 1000x better than qr code menus. death to qr code menus
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 months
the highest sign of psychological safety is the freedom to send crazy texts
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
ruminating too much is a sign that 1) you don’t trust your instincts and 2) you believe that if you think about something enough you can control it
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
it’s so funny that every single person’s worldview is so directly and obviously tied to how they feel abt themselves (self-loathing, self-loving, open, afraid)
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
this is an amazing ad because every couple I know that met on hinge actually looks EXACTLY like this
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
no point in getting annoyed at someone for their worldview when you realize that having to live with that worldview is its own punishment
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 years
met someone in a 12-year relationship and asked him “what do you think makes the relationship work” and he was like “i’ve literally never thought about that before.” true chad energy
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@noampomsky
Ava
5 months
we are in the middle of the best five days of the year for reading
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
totally changed my life when I learned that emotions are not innate but culturally constructed: the biological axes are low arousal/high arousal and low pleasantness/high pleasantness and all the rest is interpretation 🤷🏻‍♀️
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@noampomsky
Ava
6 months
to fully take up space in your own life you have to do difficult things for a long time
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@noampomsky
Ava
9 months
the genre of self-sabotage where you work really hard, actually get what you want, and then proceed to fuck it up for yourself is fascinating to me. like why does that happen
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@noampomsky
Ava
10 months
can’t believe I never heard of kowloon walled city until today. 50,000 people living in 6.4 acres, demolished in 1993
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
watching several of my guy friends go through the transition where—having achieved financial stability and an envy-inducing career trajectory at the age of 26—they suddenly get a therapist and a personal trainer, take up skydiving and start looking for a fiancée
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 months
on uselessness
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
biggest problem with polyamory is that it’s unromantic
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
the day has come: I miss drinking terrible beer in a crowded living room while someone asks me how long I’ve lived in SF and what I do for work
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
when people talk in therapyspeak/like a non-violent communication textbook it signals a lack of emotional intelligence imo
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
“But everyone can tell. Everyone sees everything.”
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
just saw a tiktok where a girl was like you should put vanilla extract in the oven in a coffee mug for 15 minutes before he comes over so your apartment smells like cookies and he associates cookies with you. we’re taking pavlovian conditioning too far
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
in a bar and this girl is talking about how she’s seeing a guy who told her “I want to keep dating other woman even if you’re not okay with it” and she’s like “It makes me feel bad but I’m trying to adjust” and I’m silently screaming nooo
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 years
every guy I know is obsessed with matt levine
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@noampomsky
Ava
11 months
you could make a good living insider trading off what you see on people’s laptop screens on SFO-JFK flights
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 years
the best gauge of intimacy is the first people you want to tell good news and bad news
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
“If your three closest friends all tell you the same thing, listen to them. As long as you actually like your friends and think they’re smart, there are no exceptions to this rule.”
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
people who say there are no hot people in SF need to understand that conventional hotness is not that valued in this city; instead of hitting on models dudes here want to make sure you at least won a MIT hackathon before you ghost each other after a second date at state bird
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
once you realize that most people conflate “niceness” with “lacks boundaries” so many things make sense
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
once in a while you see a startup idea that’s actually brilliant and not in a competitive space either but then it’s like are you ready to dedicate 15 years of your life to a cement-pouring company
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@noampomsky
Ava
3 years
blew me away when I realized “being emotionally intelligent” is different from “talking intelligently about your emotions” lol
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
In Fedex’s early days they were once denied a critical loan and had only 5k left in the bank. The founder, Fred Smith, took the company's last $5000 to Vegas and won 27k gambling on blackjack to cover the fuel bill for one more week. Shortly after he raised $11 million
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@noampomsky
Ava
6 months
if you plan to tear down someone’s entire value system it’s important to provide them with a good alternative
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
if I were a guy I’d def become a male yoga teacher. no other profession where girls look at you so worshipfully
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@noampomsky
Ava
7 months
getting things done without an external forcing function
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
has lockdown made anyone else realize they’re super introverted? turns out I only need ~5 people in my life
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
I find this so funny: they thought women wanted emotion turns out women just wanted murder 😂
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@noampomsky
Ava
10 months
sunscreen, snail mucin serum, and tretinoin are the only real skincare products
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@noampomsky
Ava
11 months
I don’t understand people who like living in hot places. like you just enjoy being sticky all day??
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
omg she’s reinventing the okcupid chart from first principles
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
I have this problem where I’m living in darkness constantly bc all the windows in the house are blocked by massive amounts of snow but there’s so much snow I have no idea how I would even remove it lol
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
can’t explain it but the platonic ideal of friendship is that you could just randomly sleep on someone’s couch for a week and they wouldn’t complain
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 year
triggered
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@noampomsky
Ava
4 years
it blows my mind how inefficient most of formal education is compared to just finding a good tutorial online and following it 🤷🏻‍♀️
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
I wish I had a better articulation of this but: once you find something once it’s infinitely easier to find it again
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@noampomsky
Ava
2 years
I like working-out-of-hotel-lobby culture
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@noampomsky
Ava
1 month
wait this post on how to get unstuck is so good it makes me sick
@robkhenderson
Rob Henderson
1 month
"the mediocrity trap: situations that are bad-but-not-too-bad keep you forever in their orbit...Terrible situations, once exited, often become funny stories or proud memories. Mediocre situations, long languished in, simply become Lost Years"
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