milo edwards @Milo_Edwards Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

milo edwards

13 days

very excited to announce a uk-wide tour of my 2023 edinburgh show 'sentimental' - come and laugh at a show that has been described variously as 'near perfect' and 'like marmalade' (tix in thread)

4

18

127

Last Seen Profiles

@kaizmos

@Himanshusb2

@CLillstrungNH

@mjhwl699862

@BriceCherry

@stwmaniax

@ek8OVeERw3uXhc2

@_vivalapatria_

@BmrHorse

@notupstate

@HerzogWeather

@RPI_Puckman

@vip_mobile63204

@HIDEHIRO_drums

@lovunakim

@konubelliknk

@airdropmuhendis

@3110tokifuji

@bokeplokalmalam

@Squize_

@FOAJGROUP

@Ayababy520

@deliciae_io

@alexsan2518

@rdllldr

@Gays_Cruising

@caibi1231438196

@nicksaysboo

@aamericanwwhore

@owadorar

@GreysABC

@NYFenianBhoys

@bbjjgcfhjn

@P0KEM0MMA

@sadishaise

@fcbarcelona_ara

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

a woman just got on the subway yelling into her phone “listen BITCH you told him i was a DRUG ADDICT-“ and then was abruptly cut off by a mariachi band boarding the train playing feliz navidad. one of the greatest comedic set pieces i’ve ever seen. no notes 10/10.

151

12K

159K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 months

amazing that the shut-down was caused by the new york side, the irish were really controlling the game in the first half but a shock last minute equaliser for the big apple there

juju 💰

@ayeejuju

4 months

the portal in new york and dublin has been shut down because some girl FLASHED the people on the other side

5K

10K

232K

181

4K

103K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

there has never been anything more british than a millionaire tory eel farmer accidentally putting himself out of business by voting for brexit

584

13K

97K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

9 months

volunteered to cook christmas dinner for 10 ppl at my gf’s mum’s unaware of some key details such as she only owns one frying pan and it’s encrusted with fossilised remains of long departed sausages. i just moved an 8kg turkey using 2 table forks and a spoon. this is my dunkirk.

66

2K

68K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

2 hours of 4 guys in a tube talking about cryptocurrency followed by a cut to black

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

1 year

A film about the OceanGate Titan submersible incident is in the works. (Source: Deadline)

1K

18K

111

4K

58K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

every ad in london is like “hey bestie we live in hell haha buy this coffee 💕”

50

2K

40K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

7 months

imagining a british porn bot replying to tweets like M Y M I N G E I N B I O

126

3K

39K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

8 months

[south africa presenting 15 tiktoks in a row of israeli soldiers saying “haha we’re committing a genocide 🤪”] british barrister being paid $10,000 a day to defend israel: your honour the 9:16 aspect ratio is not admissible in court

32

6K

38K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

my gf texted to ask if i could bring some tools over to build garden furniture, so i asked her what tools they already had and she sent me this image:

97

755

34K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

6 months

eu: we need boots on the ground - everyone must contribute estonia: 2 boots

S p r i n t e r

@SprinterFamily

6 months

Estonia will send ONE soldier to protect ships from Houthi attacks as part of new EU military operation in Red sea

707

522

6K

66

1K

34K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

this is some of the most powerful britainology i have ever encountered - it’s like what if the dumbest guy in your hometown got to design the stanford prison experiment

177

4K

29K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

the transition of libertarian guys from pretending they’re gonna 3d print a gun and overthrow the govt to calling the cops about having their imaginary ape stolen is awesome

58

3K

28K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

i’m in paris and what i’ll say is you’re never prepared for quite how french the french are - no more than 5 minutes have i been sat outside this cafe eating lunch when a kind of nice-with-it 50 year old woman walking a pomeranian in a beret ambles past and says “bon appetit”

106

649

27K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

8 months

trying to imagine a british version of this where adele starts dating luke shaw and they’re all watching the fa cup final with a 23-shaped bowl full of mini cheddars

Harry Noze (knows)USA!

@mogul518315

8 months

Uh oh. Taylor Swift Super Bowl parties. Will you attend?

666

473

9K

70

1K

26K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

this is a perfect demonstration of how russian and american conservatives have the exact same mentality lmao

Francis Scarr

@francis_scarr

3 years

More fallout from Apple's decision to stop selling its products in Russia "Here's our response to American sanctions! We don't fear you! We'll live without your nice 'pretty' things!"

4K

723

4K

147

2K

25K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

21 days

“students are directly disrespecting the groundskeepers” might be one of the funniest quotes i’ve ever read about a protest

Eyal Yakoby

@EYakoby

22 days

Breaking: Protestors at McGill university ripped up the new grass lawn in the name of Palestine. The school had to re-grass the lawn after the encampment from last semester destroyed it, now the students are directly disrespecting the groundskeepers.

4K

2K

9K

168

2K

25K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

never thought i’d live to see the british government outflanked economically to the left by the ceo of shell

Sky News

@SkyNews

2 years

The CEO of Shell has called on the government to tax oil and gas companies in order to protect the poorest people in society from soaring energy costs

672

6K

20K

60

3K

24K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

5 years

bernie sanders: i have a series of radical policies which will transform our society for the better libs: [booing] rich person: i am rich libs: [cheering] rich person: i am also racist libs: [teary eyed] this man will restore faith in politics

60

3K

23K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 months

unfortunately the number one nev maker is actually gary neville’s paternal grandmother who produced neville neville, arguably the highest pound-for-pound neville level ever reached in one man

Adam Hurrey

@FootballCliches

3 months

Gary Neville's mum:

52

570

20K

29

618

24K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

5 months

i can’t even make sense of what the conspiracy whackos are on about anymore - guys will see regular archaeology and be like “ah yes proof at last!!” proof of what mate, a fucken mole civilisation?

134

726

23K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

5 years

*3 weeks ago* right wing press: the left are destroying civility in british politics by pouring milk on tommy robinson! *today* right wing press: whomst among us has not choked a woman at a work event?

35

4K

21K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

8 days

i know there’s more to unpack here but the absolute state of that tea he’s made

Astrid Wett

@AstridWett

9 days

When you find out your daughter is on that 🌶️ site…

721

1K

28K

81

501

22K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

what’s the most deranged discourse you reckon you could get at least 5 people on here to go along with? for me i reckon it’s “acab includes paramedics”

700

831

20K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 months

Actual Names

@ActualNames1

4 months

Fanny Shagger United States Census, 1920

22

229

3K

12

798

20K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

9 months

i was trying to explain what a capybara was to my gf’s french aunt last night, so googled “french for capybara” and the first thing that came up was this image:

51

1K

19K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

say what you like about the metaverse but to be fair it looks like absolute shit

Henry Mance

@henrymance

3 years

I interviewed Facebook’s Nick Clegg somewhere where you can’t catch Covid - the metaverse

385

227

2K

93

1K

18K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

5 years

i’ve seen some shit in boujis london pubs but the crowning glory has to be this faux rust-effect dyson airblade

115

2K

17K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

6 months

absolutely losing it at this dutch pro-palestine protester giving an interview while being dragged out of the building by the ankles

16

1K

18K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

this website is basically a lottery you can only lose - endless people with 200 followers, posting daily for 3 faves and then finally accidentally pushing the right button and getting ratio’d into oblivion for 24h by people they’ve never met and who’ll never think of them again

138

1K

17K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

Louisa James

@LouisaJamesITV

2 years

The PM’s lecturn has had a makeover 👇🏻

395

34

192

38

2K

16K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

i got talking to one of australia’s perfect himbos in a bar in south london last night and he said to me “yeah i mean, i’m here for a short time not a long time right!” and i don’t think i’ve ever seen such a confusing misunderstanding of a phrase

52

636

15K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

9 months

hang on people in america were taking 3h connecting flights when you could get a 90min direct train????

Christof Spieler

@christofspieler

9 months

I hadn’t seen the “take the train” Google feature before…

16

47

1K

82

479

15K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

exciting things ahead for relative unknown malia obama!!

100

564

14K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

5 years

[the year 2030: former president donald trump and rachel maddow share a gigantic 2ft long hot dog while they watch a monster truck rally] liberals: this is exactly the kind of statesman-like behaviour president logan paul will never be capable of. for shame.

55

2K

14K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

5 months

weird i showed one of these and they let me cast 63 votes for “hamas corbyn”

Matt 🏳️‍🌈🌹🇬🇧🥥🥥🥥

@Matthew37388008

5 months

I got turned away at the polling station. Apparently this wasn’t valid ID :(

58

823

23K

5

665

14K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

10 months

a hard right government in argentina? a desperate tory government in the uk miles behind in the poll and staring down the barrel of a general election?

48

1K

14K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

she waited for the band to finish and then yelled “BITCH you live in a roach infested house” i couldn’t breathe

10

362

13K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

every advert in london is like this now. say what you will about al-qaeda but they kept us on our toes a bit more

102

336

12K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

6 years

this is the only political struggle i care about now sorry

95

2K

11K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

6 months

I disagree with the plans to shorten the line by 98.6%, it is contrary to the spirit of the project - they should keep the 170km length and *narrow* it by 98.6%

The Cradle

@TheCradleMedia

6 months

Saudi cuts back NEOM desert city plans by 98.6 percent

117

191

1K

34

395

12K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

5 months

honestly wasn’t prepared for this

John Phipps

@John__Phipps

5 months

‘How good can his gull impression really be?’ I thought to myself. Then he changed my world entirely

13

268

3K

31

931

12K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

9 months

m night shyamalan style twist at the end of this wikipedia excerpt

18

807

11K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

andrew tate is in training to become the coolest 9 year old at a regional primary school

Andrew Tate

@Cobratate

1 year

I have been locked in my house to perfect the 7 styles of WUDAN. Join me in the fight against the Matrix:

3K

2K

46K

141

284

10K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

7 months

as most of you know i am a scholar of @theJeremyVine on radio 2 and believe me when i say this is the single best thing i have *ever* heard on there:

188

1K

10K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

11 months

never write jedward off - you forget about them for a while and then, bang - john's psychic abilities were activated immediately before a minor bus crash

JEDWARD

@planetjedward

11 months

Trust your instincts! We were sitting on the top of the bus and John felt like we should move downstairs and the bus crashed into the train station! everyone is ok thank god but what a close call.

109

71

2K

13

463

10K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

reader i was hooting. i was hollering. i had to turn away and laugh into my hat.

8

102

9K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

5 years

to give priti patel her due: if she does manage to get sacked for workplace bullying, it'll still be an improvement on last time, when she was sacked for treason

38

2K

9K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

what i love about this is that it makes it sound slightly like the russians invaded specifically to stop his concert

New York Post

@nypost

3 years

Canceled comedian Louis CK to perform in Kyiv despite Russian invasion

912

1K

11K

29

384

9K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

acceptable adult vape flavours: - hummus - shepherd��s pie - corned beef - tapenade - tax return

BBC Politics

@BBCPolitics

1 year

"If you are an adult, are you really going to be buying bubblegum-flavoured vape?" Labour MP Stella Creasy tells #PoliticsLive there's a "public health challenge" surrounding children and vaping

358

66

387

103

498

9K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

men will literally be buried with 8,000 terracotta soldiers instead of going to therapy

19

658

9K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

roman centurion: [dusting his hands off as he walks away from the crucifixion] well, we won’t be seeing that guy again!

15

652

8K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

6 years

lmao imagine how racist you have to be to get BANNED from AUSTRALIA

Paul Joseph Watson

@PrisonPlanet

6 years

Milo banned from entering Australia. Equivalent of Chinese social credit system being implemented worldwide. Dark times.

580

2K

7K

38

819

8K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

just learned that australians call the salvation army “the salvos”

Anthony Albanese

@AlboMP

1 year

The Salvos help millions of Australians every year with food, accommodation and services – proud to take part in their 2023 Red Shield Appeal.

785

110

931

154

233

8K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

??????

22

706

8K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

5 years

right wing cartoonists were all cursed by a witch to constantly parody leftism but always accidentally make it look badass

Current Affairs

@curaffairs

5 years

nice

762

523

5K

51

1K

8K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

never been more confused by a cigarette warning - am…am i the rat??

66

338

7K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

[removing the entire bottom row of jenga blocks first, instantly collapsing the tower] elon musk: hmm interesting

21

744

7K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

9 months

we’ve managed it lads, even if at one point i asked for a ladle and was presented with a sieve (the perfect philosophical opposite of a ladle)

8

85

7K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

i have absolutely no idea what this could entail but i WILL be going

159

355

7K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

socialism would have just sent him there

⭐️Amy Tarkanian⭐️

@MrsT106

3 years

Capitalism, not socialism, sent Jeff Bezos to space and back today.

4K

1K

9K

31

341

7K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

whenever someone wins an award for political cartoons, you look at them and they’re all like the prime minister drinking from a petrol pump labelled “big oil profits” while a donkey labelled “the deficit” is crying behind him

47

348

7K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

just had a long phone call with a friend in st petersburg - she narrowly escaped being arrested at a protest today and i think it’s worth remembering how scared many russians are, both of being arrested for resisting the war and that they or their relatives might be sent to fight

14

770

7K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

8 months

walking into the sea and ending it all could save me up to £45 a month on my phone bill according to new report

Guardian news

@guardiannews

8 months

Royal Mail could save £650m by switching to three-day-a week service, says Ofcom

232

21

64

11

426

7K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

it’s very funny to imply you’re smart by playing chess when we all know garry kasparov was a chess grandmaster and is also one of the dumbest motherfuckers alive

Rachel Reeves

@RachelReevesMP

1 year

My dad taught me how to play chess at the age of 7 and since then I've had the chess bug. Chess has taught me so many things which are useful in politics from being strategic to giving me that competitive streak.

683

202

2K

84

322

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

in a pizza place my gf just asked the waitress if she could have the 8 cheese pizza with a tomato base and she said she had to ask the kitchen. anyway, she came back and said “i’m afraid that would be impossible” and we cannot stop laughing

58

110

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

i think, in a crowded field, jamie oliver might just be a dark horse contender for the most dislikable man britain has produced in the last 50 years

Channel 4 News

@Channel4News

2 years

"Boris, this ain’t alright.” Chef @jamieoliver tells @krishgm why he's calling on people to protest outside Number 10 with an Eton mess pudding if the government doesn’t reverse its decision to delay a ban on multi-buy offers on junk food.

510

328

1K

89

441

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

it’s absolutely the most london thing ever that even city hall has been gentrified out of its own neighbourhood

The Guardian

@guardian

4 years

Sadiq Khan proposes moving City Hall to east London to cut costs

58

42

226

7

1K

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

imagine being a wasp and waking up to this shit 😤

HOW THINGS WORK

@HowThingsWork_

2 years

Wasp nest removal using drones.

2K

7K

48K

44

230

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

9 months

never in the field of christmas dinner has so much been owed by so many to so few utensils

4

37

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

highlight of my christmas was absolutely my cousin’s polish wife being genuinely quite annoyed that i’d split up with my hungarian ex as it was depriving her of the chance to build a sort of eastern european axis in the family

15

92

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

the british public are absolutely furious with themselves about how they’ve handled the pandemic. they’ve really let down the government.

YouGov

@YouGov

4 years

Who Britons hold most responsible for the rise in coronavirus cases over the last month: The public: 51% The government: 31%

236

128

424

54

787

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

she knew the risks

22

245

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 months

Politics UK

@PolitlcsUK

3 months

🚨 NEW: A ReformUK candidate has claimed the UK should have ‘taken Hitler up on his offer of neutrality’ instead of fighting the Nazis [ @bbclaurak ]

915

967

5K

10

264

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

she was wearing the beret not the pomeranian, but this would also not be impossible

15

28

6K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

it's so cool that us senators have started dying in office like they're the pope. there will now be a senatorial conclave to elect a new dianne feinstein.

NBC Politics

@NBCPolitics

1 year

BREAKING: Sen. Dianne Feinstein, a trailblazer in U.S. politics and the longest-serving woman in the Senate, has died at 90.

102

57

210

38

356

5K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

the funniest report i’ve read so far and hope is true is that the kremlin ordered the regular fsb border guards to deny the wagner column entry to russia and they replied that this would be “unrealistic”

15

251

5K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

why is it every photo of prince philip they release to prove he’s alive only makes me more convinced he’s dead?

100

460

5K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

i know we've all had our fun over the years laughing at insane ukrainian nationalists, me especially, but you really *cannot* edgelord your way through a completely unjustified invasion in which ukrainian civilians are going to die

23

278

5K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 month

excited for this to be mired in controversy over the launch of a beer called something like 'The Real IPA'

John Mulgrew

@newsmulg

1 month

NEW: BrewDog is opening its first bar in Northern Ireland and the location can been revealed👇

27

5

35

46

284

5K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

batman is technically bruce wayne’s fursona

29

725

5K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

i have eaten lunch and find myself overcome with the urge to smoke 8-12 cigarettes

9

37

5K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

60

315

5K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

11 months

just got absolutely bodied by a 4 y/o girl on the tube - i gave my gf a kiss on the head and she points and shouts “look! her daddy is giving her kisses!”

19

63

5K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

it’ll be sad to see all these eels released into the thames where they will surely develop devastating cocaine habits

16

103

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

i’m sorry but this country is not fucking real. i am a britain truther now.

50

520

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

no harriet, a gathering of drug dealers would technically be for the purposes of work so would be exempt under the rules

3

346

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 month

“raygun the australian phd olympic breakdancer” is my manchurian candidate activation phrase. it has activated me to learn everything i can about raygun the australian phd olympic breakdancer

10

210

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

j.k. rowling’s pr person solemnly opening a manila envelope labelled “terf meltdown”, retrieving 3 fake passports and $10,000 in used bills and quietly going to start a new life in venezuela

10

398

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

8 months

the platonic form of the british tv debate is a subject matter expert making a reasoned case for doing something and their opponent, an idiot chosen by a random ballot similar to jury service, saying 'nah that's bollocks'

Kay Burley

@KayBurley

8 months

Should the Morning After Pill be available on general sale? Here's both sides of the argument with NHS doctor @SoniaAdesara and freelance journalist @llggeorgia #KayBurley FC

213

24

284

20

366

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

if the queen dies right now i think there is a non-zero chance that a slapstick version of "mad max: fury road" will happen to britain

CNN Breaking News

@cnnbrk

3 years

Britain's Queen Elizabeth accepts medical advice to rest for a few days, canceling a planned visit to Northern Ireland

95

154

1K

49

445

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

you can understand all american politics by internalising that the republicans make bad things happen and the democrats make sure good things don’t happen

Kamala Harris

@KamalaHarris

4 years

. @JoeBiden will not ban fracking. That is a fact.

24K

11K

78K

9

842

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

it really is a testament to how funny trump was that biden isn’t considered the funniest president of all time

Dave Smith

@ComicDaveSmith

2 years

We’re living in a Leslie Nielsen movie.

3K

9K

56K

24

157

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

3 years

please don't post pictures of people in england shirts, you're effectively doxxing them to the police for a criminal offence (being english)

25

393

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

the collapsing concrete schools thing is the perfect british scandal because it manages to combine all of our great national traditions: inept politicians, public sector cost-cutting, cowboy builders and a hatred of anyone under 25

16

517

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

9 months

this was the bad boy in question (glazed with cumin, honey and soy sauce)

20

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

next the capitalists will have you believing that russia was the largest constituent member of the ussr and that it ran the entire union from moscow and enforced russian as the state language but you’ll have to get up pretty early to fool me!!

48

221

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

1 year

this sequence of events is inconceivable to the anglo mind

3

10

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

me, looking at a combined energy, economic and housing crisis that is a vindication of jeremy corbyn’s entire economic platform: it really goes to show how jeremy corbyn would have been just as bad

Hannah Al-Othman

@HannahAlOthman

2 years

Truss and Corbyn are two sides of the same coin. Everyone can see that the project is doomed, they’re heading for electoral annihilation, and damaging the party brand. Everyone but the true believers, who think the public are wrong and that they will eventually be proven right.

746

241

2K

17

449

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

2 years

britain right now is possibly the only country on earth where you can experience a new once in a generation economic event every single day 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

16

190

4K

milo edwards

@Milo_Edwards

4 years

eels! fucking EELS - this is too on the nose, the matrix is malfunctioning again

13

47

3K