matt @mattybtweets69 Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@transdevFR

@nickihiroshima

@jmofromthe4

@IsabelleRauch

@MossAnimation

@stew3434

@KamalaAtak

@MiniaturasYTOOC

@GavinCamp4

@Iguchi_Y

@JkMcBee

@SnowyFran1

@_LEEForum

@AlqhtanyKh44972

@Susu_jpg

@Smart_Bae_

@berrics

@mouns910

@owenanchors24

@atallahmhmd7

@_intergrowth_

@gurgavin

@SniperShake

@NCSDAthletics

@acurebeauty

@HotwifeShelley

@CoachMaloneyOL

@boone_keylan

@syncbrc

@requirings

@roxxierivers

@welmetv

@SanaVaxx

@StarlOwO

@MarkusKeogh1023

@Transdev

matt

@mattybtweets69

9 months

All the videos of people using the slide correctly prove that the slide is an apparatus of judgement. If you approach the slide with an impure heart it will toss you around and spit you out.

Rev. Skadi, godess of righteouss anger

@BlairTStowe

9 months

@pissboymcgee Here is my 3yo and husband using the slide. It’s big, but not throw you out the bottom big.

173

861

35K

213

21K

203K

matt

@mattybtweets69

9 months

It’s about time I give this guy a taste of his own medicine. Using this picture I’ve deduced he’s on Mt. Kilimanjaro.

rainbolt

@georainbolt

9 months

climbing mt kilimijaro & attempting to memorize every us area code by the time i summit

160

437

32K

73

9K

170K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

So many cartoons had adult jokes I didn’t get as a kid. I didn’t understand the bit where Jerry hits Tom with a frying pan so hard his face turns into the shape of a frying pan until I was 23.

209

8K

151K

matt

@mattybtweets69

4 years

It was a “bit” your honor

95

11K

93K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 months

Using the ‘Dutch angle’ when filming my sons first birthday to convey his descent into madness

80

7K

91K

matt

@mattybtweets69

6 years

Win or lose Tom Brady still has a smoking hot wife. So while you guys are all hating over the internet, he’s gonna be at home making out with his son

241

19K

84K

matt

@mattybtweets69

9 months

Well its not going to be easy to say what happened to your husband on that submarine… luckily we can show you this simulation

Insane Reality Leaks

@InsaneRealitys

9 months

Simulation shows what happens to human body in a submersible implosion

3K

15K

156K

87

4K

84K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Dinner is like a grittier more realistic take on lunch

86

6K

81K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Timmy Turner’s dad hates his neighbor Dinkleberg for no stated reason, implying he’s actually deeply antisemitic

111

3K

71K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

There should be a Pokémon that evolves from a cigarette to a cigarillo then to a cigar

165

4K

54K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

They should make a movie with an accurate depiction of how it feels to get your weiner sucked crazy style

•✦ Novasaur ✦•

@NNovasaur

1 year

Meanwhile, Puss in Boots has the most accurate depiction of a panic attack in media I’ve seen— this is EXACTLY how it feels. You can’t think, can’t speak, and sometimes even the sound of a loved one trying to help gets drowned by your heart beating out of your chest.

1K

61K

398K

84

4K

51K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

(David Attenborough voice) the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night

36

5K

50K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 months

Gary Larson must’ve been blowing the stickiest herb without stems to come up with this

CLASSIC COMIC STRIPS

@ClassicStrips

3 months

FROM THE FAR SIDE FILES Gary Larson 1990

17

1K

14K

35

2K

51K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Her skin was pale, like a pale ale…. but her hair was amber, like an amber ale…

73

2K

44K

matt

@mattybtweets69

4 years

She’s hittin that pipe!

Nick Knudsen 🇺🇸

@NickKnudsenUS

4 years

My daughter just came and brought me this. 💔 #RIPRBG #RuthBaderGinsberg

354

466

4K

31

3K

42K

matt

@mattybtweets69

11 months

How about a wet white hat contest so I can see women’s beautiful minds

26

6K

41K

matt

@mattybtweets69

9 months

Radiohead is literally just Coldplay for dudes that sit on their balls and their balls go into their butt and they have to go to the hospital and fart out their balls

279

4K

39K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Well we crunched the numbers and they don’t look good, all crunched up

17

3K

38K

matt

@mattybtweets69

11 months

village idiot jobs near me average village idiot salary

35

6K

34K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

On my henchman shit. On my “got it, boss” shit.

39

3K

34K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 years

When Smashing Pjmpkins say “the world is a vampire” I get too scared and have to turn the song off

53

4K

32K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

They said a 25 year old white guy couldn’t have a quinceañera. This weekend I’ll prove them all wrong.

42

1K

31K

matt

@mattybtweets69

11 days

Neon sign in the worst bar you’ve ever been to:

President Biden

@POTUS

12 days

It's simple.

12K

6K

42K

15

960

31K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

Maizie ⭐️

@postboob

1 year

(album covers that look exactly like the album sounds)

477

165

2K

34

2K

30K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

We all got the homie that gets so drunk he does his special move

118

1K

27K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 months

(Not sure what usurp means) I need my shit usurped fr

32

3K

27K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Haha that good-natured joke about me was pretty funny. My revenge will be swift, but brutal.

5

3K

26K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 years

It’s insane that a Penguin wrote all those classics

66

4K

26K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 years

Putting rocks in my shorts to kill myself in the ocean but they just pull down my pants and everyone sees my wiener and laughs

15

2K

26K

matt

@mattybtweets69

4 years

glad he's doing well but this is strange

72

2K

23K

matt

@mattybtweets69

6 months

Gen Z Lawyer: Objection your honor the defendant is capping Gen Z Judge: Overruled. Let him cook…

36

2K

24K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

The long time listener to first time caller pipeline

20

1K

22K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

American dads be like: Good morning USA

♡Lia♡

@actually_lia

2 years

American dads be like : "hey honey i'm gonna pay $50K/year for you to get railed after a frat party and learn about why it's bad to be white"

344

1K

15K

27

2K

22K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

This is a very personal tattoo I use it as a constant reminder that a skeleton on fire can be very badass, even if he’s riding fast on a chopper straight from hell

11

1K

22K

matt

@mattybtweets69

8 months

he is focused on hooping

yan

@thnorthmqn

8 months

22

332

3K

35

1K

22K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

35

1K

21K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

(Drill sergeant voice) WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I WAS A WORM, PRIVATE

29

2K

21K

matt

@mattybtweets69

19 days

(French DJ voice)

Variety

@Variety

19 days

#Challengers director Luca Guadagnino: “It’s beautiful to kiss people! That’s what I want to say. People, kiss! Do not make war.”

40

825

6K

19

1K

21K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

10 overpowered pasta shapes that are banned from competitive play

71

1K

18K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

You Killed Me In A Hit And Run 8 Years Ago, You Have To Let Go and 4 others liked your tweet

22

1K

18K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Apple is so fruity for this

18

521

17K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 month

The Curb Your Enthusiasm scripts just look like this, the rest is improvised

10

927

18K

matt

@mattybtweets69

9 months

You’re naughty for this one bro 😭😭 on god you need a spanking fr 💀

33

2K

17K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 months

Is 26 too old to start affecting a transatlantic accent or will everybody in my life notice?

57

888

16K

matt

@mattybtweets69

6 months

Sky News

@SkyNews

6 months

The Prodigy changes lyrics to controversial hit 26 years after release 🔗 Click below to read more

240

21

119

43

2K

16K

matt

@mattybtweets69

4 months

Ist es over für mich?

🇫🇮☠ 𝑶𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒔 ☠🇫🇮

@Osiasart

4 months

Androgenic pattern baldness is known to occur in male lions. Below: Left: A lion with a receding maneline Right: A male lion with advanced Norwood 7 balding

80

338

4K

10

933

16K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

this is how haters appear in my vision

13

1K

16K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

Fuck Spotify I had to unwrap myself

21

1K

15K

matt

@mattybtweets69

4 months

3

978

16K

matt

@mattybtweets69

11 months

62

2K

15K

matt

@mattybtweets69

13 days

White people be like get your steps in

59

1K

15K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

👇

11

1K

14K

matt

@mattybtweets69

6 months

Damn. Good thing I’m at the center of that shit.

7

577

14K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

Twitter should just automatically subtract ‘Likes’ from ‘Views’ and call it ‘How Many People Thought Your Tweet Sucked Ass’ and it should be the only number that shows up under your tweets

17

2K

14K

matt

@mattybtweets69

5 months

I just invented seeing salts it’s like smelling salts but you put salt in your eyes and it makes you really awake

13

664

14K

matt

@mattybtweets69

10 months

Soldiers in movies be like RAMIREZ!!!!

28

1K

13K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

White people look at the line behind them and say “good thing we got here when we did”

36

459

12K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 month

A

@bloodperfume

1 month

Btw

53

1K

9K

71

3K

13K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 years

Dentist dug up my old tweets about eating candy

5

581

12K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 months

We regret to inform you that while we are rockin with you, your relevant job experience is mid and we’ve chosen to go with a more GOATED candidate for this position.

7

968

12K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 month

SHOCKING: NEW YORK EARTHQUAKE CAUGHT ON CAMERA

22

1K

11K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Guilt free steaks from our absolute saddest cattle I mean these guys were borderline suicidal they were basically begging to go

12

735

11K

matt

@mattybtweets69

5 months

When Fat Bastard steals Austin Powers’s mojo

Creepy.org

@creepydotorg

5 months

What movie scene makes you sick to your stomach?

587

156

5K

7

852

11K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

Y’all rockin with the Roland TR-808 drum machine puffer jacket ⁉️🤔

71

597

10K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

Concept for device I call ‘The Tanopticon”

18

1K

10K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

10

484

10K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Me: Oh my god, Ned from Try Guys cheated on his wife! Hallucination of oil baron appearing to me out of severe dehydration: I reckon his misses better run out on him faster than a mule what sat on a thumb tack

8

1K

10K

matt

@mattybtweets69

11 months

American band name: Sports Jeans British band name: Shouting Lads Club Australian band name: The Fucks

19

973

10K

matt

@mattybtweets69

5 months

(Two beers into work event) So many bomboclaat email…

7

692

10K

matt

@mattybtweets69

8 months

Thy neighbors wife tho 👀 👀👀

20

798

9K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

Bro last night was a YouTube Poop

15

1K

9K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

me when I sit my white ass down and listen

27

335

8K

matt

@mattybtweets69

9 months

Me: Shirts vs Skins was a real war. A lot of people don’t know that. Shirts won. And that’s why we all wear shirts. Joe Rogan: That’s incredible man…

7

598

8K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

the employed friend from 9AM-5PM on Monday through Friday every week

17

593

8K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

To me this IS Gangster Spongebob. There’s nothing more “gangster” than having a positive attitude and love for friends and life.

13

858

8K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 months

The original “vision pro” Like 👍 and Share if you agree

21

500

8K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Excuse me where are your dope ass restrooms for young creatives

5

563

8K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

her: you must be renes descartes if you think we fuckin me: you must be if you think

11

907

7K

matt

@mattybtweets69

10 months

Drunk dudes be like let’s steal that cone

23

426

8K

matt

@mattybtweets69

8 months

They found me guilty on 3 counts of keeping it real, 2 counts of bossing up, and 2 counts of letting my nuts hang 🤦‍♂️

9

2K

8K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

I crossed up Elliot Smith so bad he became extremely depressed and wrote all of that beautiful music you’re welcome

10

447

7K

matt

@mattybtweets69

5 months

That’s me in the corner That’s me playing fortnite Dressed like Peter griffin

10

665

7K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

I pull up in the contraption

14

475

7K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 years

they’re worried about more waves I’m not talking bout covid

10

635

7K

matt

@mattybtweets69

4 months

@h3xenbrenner2 Real tiger puke heads have seen this video thousands of times already

3

69

7K

matt

@mattybtweets69

6 months

Dear employee, We hope this email finds you HELL. We’re AFRAID to inform you that your GRIMployment with this WITCHstablishment will be terminated, effective TOMBday, October 31. Regards, Human SCREAMsources 🎃

9

582

7K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 months

When I spell meatballs with a z

liliam꩜

@spittingclots

3 months

Scan of Anthony Bourdain’s fridge very special to me

48

922

11K

8

479

7K

matt

@mattybtweets69

5 months

(British guy, as he’s taking a piss) Proper piss, that

9

506

7K

matt

@mattybtweets69

5 months

So I guess doxxing people is ok now?

Stan and Cartoon Media

@itgirlslasher

5 months

Over 170 clients on Jeffrey Epstein's high-profile list will be named in court documents starting in January 2024.

649

2K

17K

27

172

6K

matt

@mattybtweets69

3 years

Commenting “you’re so brave for this!” on just normal pictures of people

8

478

6K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

Joseph Mama, best known as the punchline to over one thousand jokes, passed away in his sleep last night in his Pasadena home. He was 78 years old.

21

518

6K

matt

@mattybtweets69

2 years

She sunk on my fallacy no cost

15

547

6K

matt

@mattybtweets69

5 months

Fuck it we sippin on 🗿tonight

12

262

6K

matt

@mattybtweets69

4 months

Listening to every song

2

286

6K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

WOW! Azealia Banks comments on Taylor Swift and Matty Healy’s rumored relationship 👇

Job Search | Indeed

With Indeed, you can search millions of jobs online to find the next step in your career. With tools for job search, resumes, company reviews and more, we're with you every step of the way.

www.indeed.com

1

499

6K

matt

@mattybtweets69

1 year

Wine before mead, ride not your steed

5

520

6K

matt