maple cocaine @maplecocaine Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it

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Last Seen Profiles

@faisslmeas

@sirandalibros

@KOD__official

@anokhinalol

@LPLT20

@nnblogger

@x3LUCKY3

@haroldazuara

@Jaryoficial

@zc_sx

@paimadhu

@kanazawa_itaya

@Wine90s

@LczlG

@tsub5_m2

@SashaMakesMagic

@MKT_Basket

@kryzethinker

@sd_mnsr

@ree__123w

@John_Mateer4

@TardiTardi23980

@chmpgnsoshalist

@stw_pdg

@thefelicityhunt

@sakamotoryuta

@RealDealBeal23

@saku_shannaro_

@AsleF

@Arnold65947884

@gcroxatto

@lvndr_xynluna

@TheThroneHoops

@GCR_Investing

@ccramfootball

@the_kashaf_ali

maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

3 years

As a man, i love going to Home Depot to buy one slice of wood

Piper Ramsey-Sumner

@cbfplr

3 years

how is this not satire?

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

2 years

Disengaging with an active shooter strolling into an elementary school is a level of cowardice that I don't even have words for

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

2 years

I like how Amish people refer to all non-amish people as "the English." It's such a devastating own

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

3 years

Olive oil, sea salt, red pepper flakes... Oregon has (unwisely) decriminalized bein Italian

New York Post

@nypost

3 years

Oregon law decriminalizing all street drugs goes into effect

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

2 years

There's a story coming out soon that he's trying to get ahead of. Hard to read this any other way

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

Girl i dated had an outside cat who really liked me & one day when i went out for a smoke there was a bird heart placed on the wall where i usually sat. Cat was scoping me to see if i liked my gift so i did that move where you pretend to eat it so she didnt think i was ungrateful

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@maplecocaine

3 years

Extremely disappointed by the Taliban here

The Associated Press

@AP

3 years

BREAKING: The Taliban announce a list of deputy ministers, failing to appoint any women, doubling down on an all-male, all-Taliban government in Afghanistan.

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

2 years

For the past 50 years you've been in a band called "Queen"

Stereogum

@stereogum

2 years

Brian May blasts Brit Awards for adopting gender-neutral categories, says Queen would not be woke enough today: "We would have to have a trans person"

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

I never noticed how few likes Mayor Pete gets on his posts. He pretended to win the Iowa caucus last night and only got 15k, which might sound like a lot but some random teenager is gonna post “mustard low key the best condiment in the game rn” and break 500,000

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

Moundsville has a population of 9,000 people and there were 19 crimes there last year

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

For like a century, corporate media decided who got “cancelled” & often the people didn’t even do anything wrong (Sinead O’Connor, Monica Lewinsky, etc). But now that social media is deciding who gets cancelled, it’s the most dire threat to free speech that ever happened. Lol ok

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

Bernie: we can’t just -ahem- “nibble” at the edges of problems Yang: we can’t just nibble at the edges lol Warren: we can’t just nibble at the edges lol Klobuchar: Pete Buttigieg is a rat lookin piece of shit and I hope a fucking asteroid crashes directly into his stupid rat face

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Are we sure it wasn’t Justin Trudeau?

POLITICO

@politico

5 years

Barack Obama today endorsed Canadian PM Justin Trudeau‘s reelection bid

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

2 years

Every picture I see from Jordan Peterson's podcast looks like he just got arrested for stealing panties off clothes lines and possession of methamphetamine

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

3 years

If i make $500k/yr but i spend it all maintaining a luxurious lifestyle am i actually rich? Truly a riddle for the ages

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

All I watch on youtube is car videos and some british guy who reviews old tape decks yet somehow i still get suggested videos like "watch this very racist loser with a sword on his wall & 5 million youtube subscribers get epically mad about feminism" so you know, fuck you

YouTube

@YouTube

5 years

Our hearts are broken over today’s terrible tragedy in New Zealand. Please know we are working vigilantly to remove any violent footage.

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

Apparently the best way to abolish police is to just keep calling them pussies every day and watch them quit in mass temper tantrums

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

1 year

These people really love getting scammed

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

Why does anyone care that Billie Eilish doesn’t know who Van Halen is? They’re not culturally relevant. When I was a kid some old asshole got mad because I didn’t know who the Dave Clark Five was. I still don’t know who the fucking Dave Clark Five is. I think he just made them up

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

The defining trait of American conservatism is finding a way to get mad about every single holiday

Ben Shapiro

@benshapiro

5 years

Happy Legal Guardian of Unspecified Gender Day!

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Maybe a guy who hung out on Epstein’s sex slave island 100 times should learn to shut the fuck up for 5 seconds

New York Post

@nypost

5 years

Alan Dershowitz's new book will counter the #MeToo movement

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

3 years

2021 sneak preview

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Dems, please don’t drive away this guy who interned at the conservative National Review, wrote for the conservative Washington Times, was a senior editor at the conservative Weekly Standard, and has been a Republican his entire life

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

2 years

This is beautiful

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

1 year

Babe come here, they put your titties in the newspaper because some reddit incels got mad about them

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

One of my neighbors has a cop son and once a week this 35 year old grown ass Italian man drops off his laundry at her house for her to do it

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

2 years

Guys only want one thing

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

if i was stuck in a coma dream this is exactly how my brain would tell me it wasn’t real

Yahoo News

@YahooNews

5 years

Trump appoints illuminati self-help author 'Magus Incognito' to federal education board

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Fuckin love The Hill

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

i'm against socialism because if workers have too many rights that could significantly lessen the impact of my threat to speak with your manager

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

2 years

In case you're wondering why they keep dropping bombs on Cawthone I'll just put it like this: if a republican politician is hosting a "sex party" there's a 99.9% chance that the adults invited are not having sex with each other

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

1 year

Sometimes when I'm bored I go check out the latest unhinged replies to this old tweet & I'm never disappointed

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

The only reason we're all forced to know about Meghan McCain is because her dad crashed dick first into a Vietnamese bayonet while trying to bomb a hospital and the people of Arizona decided this was a good enough reason to let him be senator for 100 years.

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

I hate when people use a historical figure as their profile pic because I'll be reading a book, see a picture of like Oscar Wilde and think "here's that asshole from twitter"

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Actually this fuckin sucked

Valerie Jarrett

@ValerieJarrett

5 years

A good day to pause and cherish the memory of better times.

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

Damn I can’t believe the dumbest thing in the world is attracting the dumbest group of people in the world

Donie O'Sullivan

@donie

4 years

QAnon Is Attracting Cops

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

This is a great meme because it shows two distinct reasons why allowing conservatives in society is a public health hazard

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@maplecocaine

3 years

BBC World News

BBC News (World)

@BBCWorld

3 years

Outcry as "bean dad" tells hungry nine-year-old daughter to open a tin of beans or go without food

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

ALL 2020 candidates MUST support: - Medicare For All - Green New Deal - Black Lives Matter - Abolishing ICE - Imprisoning gamers - Restoring porn on tumblr

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

It’s sort of weird that Hasbro has a version of Monopoly trying to mock socialism considering that the capitalist goal of the original game is to bankrupt your friends and take all their stuff

Nick Kapur

@nick_kapur

5 years

I bought a copy of Hasbro's mean-spirited and woefully ill-informed "MONOPOLY: SOCIALISM" board game so you don't have to - a thread 1/

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

they should make a separate internet just for people talking about star wars so the rest of us can live in peace

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

When someone uses this emoji 🤣 they are more mad than they have ever been in their entire life

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

There are 5 living Presidents and at least 2 of them have flown on Jeffrey Epstein’s pedo plane. This is not a good ratio imo

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Absolutely no one: Millionaire software developer John McAfee:

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

3 years

Imagine being so gross that a picture of your mask goes viral because people can't wrap their minds around how utterly repulsive it looks

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

3 years

These are the biggest nerds I've ever seen in my entire life

Tayler Hansen

@TaylerUSA

3 years

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Some people seem extremely upset by the fact that we're quickly moving toward a society where being a billionaire has a stigma attached to it but being a socialist doesn't.

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

I think it’s truly heartwarming that basically everyone hates cops now

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

I don’t want to be alarmist, but my sources inside Walter Reed are telling me that Trump has been having diarrhea for 13 hours straight. “The entire bed is saturated. The floor is covered. It’s even going up the walls. They had to bring in contractors to replace the sheetrock.”

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

What stage of capitalism is it when a random Dunkin Donuts cashier is also responsible for operating a New Jersey Transit station?

NJ TRANSIT

@NJTRANSIT

5 years

@stevek8n9 Hi Steve, like previously stated, Dunkin Donuts is responsible for opening the doors in the morning at Hamilton station. NJT has spoken to the vendor multiple times. If you would like to file a formal complaint, use the link below. -TB

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Louis CK filmed the Kevin Spacey video

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@maplecocaine

5 years

I've seen more pix of Justin Trudeau in blackface than i've seen total pictures of any other Canadian prime minister

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Ok but these guys didn’t allow women to vote

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

Pete Buttigieg's campaign has a seemingly infinite number of embarrassingly phony fan accounts with impossible names like "medieval art scholars 4 pete" & "oral surgeons involved in custody battles 4 pete" but i took the time to email each of them & it turns out, they're all real

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

Christopher Columbus wasn’t Italian or American

The Hill

@thehill

4 years

#BREAKING : Gov. Andrew Cuomo says it's not time for Christopher Columbus statue to go: "The Christopher Columbus statue in some way represents the Italian American legacy in this country."

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

i've always found it kind of interesting that the best way to confuse facial recognition tech is to make yourself look like a nightclub extra in a 1990s near-future cyberpunk movie. did they know this?

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

1 year

Twitter was already democratized. If you made good posts you'd be on equal footing with celebs etc regardless of verification. Elon "democratized" twitter by taking the misfits whose tweets used to get dumped under "show more replies" & let them pay to go to the front of the line

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Whatever you might personally think about Hillary Clinton or Tulsi Gabbard you have to admit they’re both dumb as hell and should go the fuck away forever

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

I unequivocally support any politician who curses at Trump. No more of this polite nerd bowtie society garbage like calling him a "ne'er-do-well" or a "detestable rogue." i want to vote for someone who calls trump a dumb motherfucking rancid ass piece of dog shit to his face

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@maplecocaine

5 years

Huge dunk on Karl Marx here

The Guardian

@guardian

5 years

'Karl Marx failed to consider software': billionaire Tom Steyer on inequality and his 2020 run

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

Opening a giant folder labeled “Bernie Sanders Oppo Research” and it’s just dozens of black & white surveillance photos of Bernie trying to use expired coupons to buy soup

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

i always assumed yoda looked like a normal person when he was younger and that anybody would turn into a yoda lookin ass if they kept aging for 900 years

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@maplecocaine

3 years

Bean dad: this will all blow over, i'm just gonna lay low NY Times 2043: Bean Dad died peacefully today in his home

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

This is an amazing correction. you’re doing great, Gizmodo

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@maplecocaine

5 years

Conservatives must feel a little weird knowing that a mainstream comedian has to be a sex offender in order to make a successful switch to their side.

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@maplecocaine

5 years

Leftwinger sees a political cartoon meant to insult them: Lmao this is great i love it Rightwinger sees a political cartoon meant to insult them: This is the most vile thing I have ever seen. It’s disgusting. A republican congressman has already started an investigation

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

1 year

i guess elon finally invented something funny because the views:likes ratio on this tweet is fucking insane

Ryan Walters

@ryanmwalters

1 year

No woke Santa this year :)

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

1 year

Choose your lib

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@maplecocaine

3 years

Michael Tracey’s entire audience is teenage nazis and boomer republicans who haven’t spoken to their kids in years and his twitter personality is an exact reflection of that

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

I’ve always thought it was cliche to say this but white people really must be stopped. This crosses a line

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Anti-Bernie twitter is about to turn into the fuckin racism & sexism olympics

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@maplecocaine

5 years

FACT CHECK: Bernie Sanders claims "working people deserve better" but actually they don't. Fuck off, poors. Eat shit. www.factcheck.facts

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@maplecocaine

4 years

Everyone in Australia drives a car that looks like this

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@maplecocaine

4 years

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@maplecocaine

5 years

I don’t think that video games play a significant role in contributing to real life violence but I do think gamers should be imprisoned anyway just in case. It couldn’t hurt

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

You can pretend that the Lincoln Project failed all you want but the fact that a ton of liberals are accusing AOC of "infighting" for being mean to republicans says otherwise

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@maplecocaine

4 years

Three billionaires are currently running for President and zero plumbers

Jane Lynch

@janemarielynch

4 years

Hello everyone. Billionaires in wine caves have as much right to say who gets to be president as waitresses in diners and plumbers in my bathroom. Class warfare is ugly, @ewarren Thanks for listening everyone.

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@maplecocaine

3 years

Happy New Year, from “The Joker”

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@maplecocaine

4 years

Britain has 100 different bands of guys with atrocious haircuts who released like one album 40 years ago, had no hit songs, and they’re all still famous for some reason

Stereogum

@stereogum

4 years

Stone Roses' Ian Brown says COVID was "planned," releases anti-lockdown song

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

If you can’t handle the Bernie campaign referencing facts about your voting record or mundane polling data about your base you are absolutely not ready for trump and you never will be

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@maplecocaine

5 years

i wonder why this guy isnt popular with people who own newspapers

NYT Politics

@nytpolitics

5 years

Bernie Sanders is unveiling a proposal for a new wealth tax on the richest Americans, including a steep tax on billionaires that could greatly diminish their fortunes

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

3 years

Politico: Is this social-media-savvy Republican the new AOC?? Me looking up their twitter account: ...4000 followers

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@maplecocaine

4 years

amazing series of tweets right here

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@maplecocaine

5 years

AOC scares certain media types because she's getting a ton of mainstream attention for saying many of the same things we've all been posting in their mentions on here for years.

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

5 years

Everyone: maybe you spineless fucks should impeach trump HouseDems: actually we’re going to impeach AOC

Erin Banco

@ErinBanco

5 years

NEW: The @housedemocrats tweet was NOT an accident, per Michael Hardaway, spokesman for the Caucus.

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

3 years

@bethanyshondark @OddHistorian @libbyemmons looking insanely diseased and unhealthy right here, keep up the great work bethany

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@maplecocaine

4 years

My dude looks like if Doctor Who owned slaves

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@maplecocaine

3 years

You can’t say dems are bad because they’re too far right then turn around and ally with fascist paramilitary groups, that’s absolutely not how any of this works

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

3 years

"i've been burned by the homeless too many times" is a fucking immaculately deranged thought to have rolling around in your brain

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@maplecocaine

3 years

Approximately 100% of single bed hotel rooms have king size beds

New York Post

@nypost

3 years

Book reveals Bernie's hotel demands: King-size beds and 60-degree rooms

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@maplecocaine

4 years

Cops don’t need “better training” they’re not dogs, they’re pieces of shit who enjoy killing people

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@maplecocaine

5 years

It's cool how Macron was the neoliberals wet dream, now Paris is in flames and some random schmuck named like Claude-Luc St. Chevrolet who bakes baguettes for a living is ready to launch his 2006 Citroën estate wagon into the fucking Eiffel Tower just to get rid of him

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@maplecocaine

5 years

So is AIPAC just a conference about being mad at Ilhan Omar or do they have other topics?

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@maplecocaine

1 year

Actually you should. The newspaper uses your subscription money to pay nepotism hires a $300k salary to write 6 articles a year about the same exact thing. Unsubscribe and spend your money on something useful like drugs or cool old vhs tapes

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@maplecocaine

5 years

Oh jesus christ the sex robots are libertarians

Slate

@Slate

5 years

Sex robots are coming. We need to research and debate them now.

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maple cocaine

@maplecocaine

4 years

fascism is like 40% racism & 60% sexual anxiety

Stefan Molyneux, MA

@StefanMolyneux

4 years

I can’t believe Taylor Swift is about to turn 30 - she still looks so young! It’s strange to think that 90% of her eggs are already gone - 97% by the time she turns 40 - so I hope she thinks about having kids before it’s too late! She’d be a fun mom. :)

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