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Manu Joseph Profile
Manu Joseph

@manujosephsan

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Novelist. Columnist for Mint; previously the New York Times. Creator of the Netflix series, ‘Decoupled’. Right-arm faster-than-Ganguly.

India
Joined February 2015
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
On behalf of all Malayalees in North India I declare the start of winter 2021. The coconut oil has frozen.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
Junior is beginning to understand why senior never holds a press conference.
@zoo_bear
Mohammed Zubair
3 years
Shameless
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
1 year
Income tax raid on the BBC reminds me of a morning in 2001 when Outlook was raided. Every day I was the first journalist to reach office (the rest were married). An officer said they have to confiscate the computers. And one cop carried away a monitor, leaving the CPU behind.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
11 months
30 C ? How did they conquer India ?
@itvnews
ITV News
11 months
Temperatures have passed 30C in London today, overwhelming some soldiers who took part in a military parade alongside Prince William
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
Very soon you will travel from Chennai to Bangalore in 2 hours, he says. Right now Bangalore to Bangalore takes 2 hours.
@BrutIndia
Brut India
2 years
Your road trips may soon have fewer roadblocks...
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
6 months
On behalf of all the Malayalees who live in north India, I declare the start of winter 2023. The coconut oil has frozen.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
6 years
‘...my biggest contribution IS BRINGING free online grammar classes...’ or ‘...my biggest contribution WAS TO HAVE BROUGHT online grammar classes..’ I hope the classes were free.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
On behalf of all Malayalees in Delhi I declare the start of winter : the coconut oil has frozen.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
The world thinks there was a 'genocide' of Muslims last month. Why are Hindus often unable to tell their side of the story? Why does the BJP whose area of speciality is telling stories to Indians fail to convey a reasonable fact to the world? My latest:
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
The BJP is unable to communicate its sensible agricultural reform. What use sponsoring a whole network of agents in the media? When you invest in bootlickers you will only get shiny shoes.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
The Supreme Court should just form a party. Supreme Court Janata Kazhagam. It might get more votes than the Congress.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
The finest Brexit was in 1947.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
The so-far baseless discrediting of EVMs should remind us that the same sort of people who whine about the ‘destruction of institutions’ are the very people who destroy institutions when they don’t suit them.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 months
I think being forced to call an unknown middleaged man ‘my lord’ is the real harassment.
@barandbench
Bar and Bench
2 months
Calling an unknown woman 'darling' is sexual harassment under Section 354A IPC: Calcutta High Court report by @NarsiBenwal
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
So every taxi-driver in Goa I spoke to over the past several months was wrong about AAP's prospects. I wonder what else taxi-drivers are wrong about.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
The same kind of people who defamed direct benefit transfer to farmers are against the agricultural reforms.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
The people who say Gogoi is being rewarded a Rajya Sabha seat by BJP are the same people who had extolled him when he held that rebel ‘democracy-at-stake’ press conference just 2 years ago. A man doesn't change in 2 years. This is why real writers are unsentimental writers.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
Moral of the story: Everyone is conservative at home. When the stakes are high people demonstrate "right-wing" behaviour. It's when the stakes are low we're all noble leftists.
@the_hindu
The Hindu
3 years
‘U.S. first’: Official reacts to India’s request to lift ban on export of COVID-19 vaccine raw materials
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
Taxi from Delhi airport. Smart young Bangladeshi driver (but he said he was from Malda). Network was bad, so I indulged in taxi-driver journalism by asking questions. I was not taking notes because I planned to make up his answers. He asked me: "Are you a macro-economist?"
@kaushikcbasu
Kaushik Basu
2 years
Taxi from LaGuardia. Smart young Bangladeshi driver. As always I got talking. He was very critical of Bangladesh & corruption & all recent South Asian leaders. Then added, “with one exception, Manmohan Singh. He was a world class leader.” Then asked me, “Have you ever seen him?”
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
As the government announces direct cash transfers to millions of poor, we must never forget how much Aadhar was defamed and privacy concern overblown by rural affairs middlemen and friends who were made obsolete by technology. The defamation of Aadhar began as a turf battle.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
1 year
On behalf of all the Malayalees in north India, I declare the start of winter 2022. The coconut oil has frozen.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
A third-rate thing the middle class is doing right now is not revealing to the house help that the employers have tested positive for Covid.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
Modi has introduced so many Indians to the word ‘Preamble’.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
The Guardian says in "a shock" result conservatives have won a thumping victory in the elections. Maybe only The Guardian and its subscribers are shocked. Can a newspaper that doesn't understand its own nation be right about us ?
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
1. Major influencers confuse hope with analysis; overreact to passable speech. 2. Minor influencers infected. 3. Major influencers declare 'a star is born' 4. Midget projected as giant-slaye 5. Real giant then thrashes midget 6. Influencers wonder 'what went wrong with liberals'
@sardesairajdeep
Rajdeep Sardesai
5 years
A star is born in the Lok Sabha. Meet the first time opposition MP who has stolen the show in her debut speech in the Prez address debate..
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
I've read a version of Kanhaiya's doctoral thesis and found it a sham. A smart 'long-form' hack will pull off a better job in 2 weeks for took Kanhaiya a decade. I have great regard for scholarship but not for a system where poor youth are trained to be sham just to escape life.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
The government will regain a lot of respect if it just admits there is a crisis. Indians understand crisis. It’s not like we are used to Scandinavian standards of governance.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
6 years
I hope the falling rupee doesn’t dissuade conscientious posh kids from pursuing expensive humanities courses in the US and UK or study journalism at Columbia so that they can later educate us about the evils of inequality.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
In Delhi I just saw a car reverse to get behind the white line.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
Jean Dreze was not arrested for "fighting hunger". If this historian gets today's news wrong by opting for hyperbole over facts I wonder how we must consider her history.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
Our air is poison, we are stranded for half our lives in traffic congestion, we exist in total spatial ugliness, our children grow up with very low racial and cultural self-esteem. Yet our greatest agitations are about useless issues. My latest column:
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
If any of the crooked children of Gurgaon who sit in the backseat of cars to travel 600 m to the school bus stop, and choose schools on the basis of air-conditioning, take part in the climate strike I plan to hit them.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
The way Bombay asparagus-eaters are praising Uddhav Thackeray for some tweets and sounds it’s as though he doesn’t head a party that destroyed Bombay in every way, a syndicate that thought half-km long flyovers are tech marvels.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
My Occasional Concern: I hope the pandemic does not stop Indians from sending their conscientious kids to attend very expensive humanities courses in America so that they can come back and educate us about the evils of inequality.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
Until recently Kangana was a 'feisty small-town underdog, cunning accented feminist who took on silver-sperm Bollywood patriarchy'. Then she made a tactical error. She said she likes Modi. Suddenly the 'midget-to-giant' converter machine dropped her. Now suddenly she is a clown.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
By the standards of Indian politicians this is an admirable apology but there is a mistake he commits frequently. He rates the thrill of a major announcement higher than the boredom of laying the groundwork to make that announcement. Policy is not idea. Policy is implementation.
@ANI
ANI
4 years
I apologize for taking these harsh steps which have caused difficulties in your lives, especially the poor people. I know some of you would be angry with me also. But these tough measures were needed to win this battle: PM Narendra Modi #MannKiBaat (file pic)
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
The reason why vaccines should be given in the arse is people won’t post images of getting the shot.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
If someone speaks poor English it means he speaks some other language very well.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
7 months
We should be equally afraid of people who have never read Nietzsche but quote him, especially stuff he never said.
@PriyankKharge
Priyank Kharge / ಪ್ರಿಯಾಂಕ್ ಖರ್ಗೆ
7 months
"You should not be afraid of someone who has a library and reads many books; you should fear someone who has only one book; and he considers it sacred, but he has never read it." – Friedrich Nietzsche
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
6 years
Those who want to abolish Aadhar but have Facebook accounts are, beyond any ambiguity now, frauds. But to restore their dignity I am campaigning the United Nations to make hypocrisy a fundamental human right.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
It’s guys who can’t dance who change the world.
@JonErlichman
Jon Erlichman
4 years
On this day in 1995: Windows 95 launched. “Start Me Up” was its anthem:
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
What’s the point of these ‘India-born’, ‘of-Indian-origin’ stories ?
@ndtv
NDTV
3 years
India-Born Sirisha Bandla To Fly On Virgin Galactic Spacecraft Tomorrow
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
Many asparagus-eating friends have written privately to me to say they enjoyed ‘Decoupled’. I see that they are restrained in publicly sharing this view to appease the more delicate. I request you to instead champion us. The show has given so much joy to so many sane people.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
Under Modi's regime, India has posted its lowest test cricket ever.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
It's fascinating to imagine what will happen if AAP wins a full proper state where the party has control over police and the governor is not a rogue robot. Just one state. I believe that will change Indian politics forever.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
"Sir, it accidentally landed in Kashmir, so we have lost all communication."
@ndtv
NDTV
5 years
WATCH | ISRO chairman K Sivan shares an emotional moment with PM Modi after the PM's moving speech to scientists. #Chandrayaan2 #ISRO
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
This is also why most English novels from India (and the rest of Asia) sound fake to us.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
6 years
If that ‘student’ who had screamed ‘fascists down down’ in the plane had also screamed ‘allah o Akbar’ and the Twitter humanists who claim she had the right to do it were in that plane...ok I can’t type when I am laughing.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
6 years
As I have said, this is the golden age for mediocre liberals. You do not need to possess literary, journalistic or intellectual talent, as long as you can organise lament, the Network will reward you.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
No this video depicts a second-rate city ruined by third-rate men.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
The BJP is handling Modi’s PR the way he has handled the second wave.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
6 months
The opposite of literature is sports commentary. Except this one time when Geoffrey Boycott said of Sourav Ganguly’s bowling: “At his pace if the ball hits your crotch, it would be pleasurable”.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
A global farce: In US and UK humanitarians cite science to justify lockdown because Trump and Boris were against it; in India, because Modi backed lockdown, humanitarians are against it. All cite 'science'. Fact is nobody knows anything, yet.
@pbhushan1
Prashant Bhushan
4 years
Read this sensible analysis of Corona cases & morbidities in India vs the West. This data suggests that India is likely to be much less affected than the West, possibly due to BCG vaccination, our immunity, temperature, humidity etc. Makes strong case for ending the lockdown.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
When your analysis aligns perfectly with your hope then it is usually hope and not analysis.
@kaushikcbasu
Kaushik Basu
3 years
People ask me if I’m optimistic about India. The answer is: Yes because by 2024 the govt will change. Then we can draw on the talent pool & deep strength of the economy that’s damaged but there (I know the economy well enough to know). Then India can be back to rapid growth.
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Manu Joseph
4 years
As a part of its lockdown Delhi has banned any gathering of more than five people. So "literary" book launches can still take place.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
Everyone is conservative at home. When the stakes are high people demonstrate "right-wing" behaviour. It's when the stakes are low we're all noble, like Trudeau who backed the North Indian farmers' movement against reforms.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
6 years
As a person with a Christian surname I feel insecure in India at the thought of 3rd rate intellectuals who pretend to be my guardians; whining that pretends to be rage; narcissism that pretends to be social concern; the display of empathy that pretends to be empathy...
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
For the first time I say this: Watch till the end.
@prajwalmanipal
Prajwal
4 years
Actually I have to share one more tweet about @Ram_Guha This video is brilliant. Watch till the end. 🤣
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Manu Joseph
5 years
Daft to call it a 'prompt'. Modi has already mentioned 'soch' in the interview. Anyone who has conducted any interview will know the interviewer's intervention is natural. It's fascinating that today ideology has not only ruined reading comprehension but also of basic mannerism.
@free_thinker
Pratik Sinha
5 years
At 1:15, someone prompts the PM with the word 'soch', is it the interviewer?
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
Every day, self-absorbed folks get agitated by the views of a few, and announce the death of India. How many trolls make a society? How many people constitute a bloc? How many horrible tweets make for a national crisis? My latest:
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
Many of the 'liberal' heroes who are calling for Rahul Gandhi's head are themselves Rahul Gandhis -- the privileged mediocre. But they survive because their uselessness cannot be measured unlike in politics. All of India's elite is filled with Rahul Gandhis.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
i enjoyed @vivekagnihotri 's 'The Tashkent Files', chiefly because he had a difficult subject on his hand and pulled off a thriller. My favourite line: "People don't want truth; they want a story about truth".
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
6 years
This simpleton questions my integrity because I pointed out that his friend compensates his mediocrity with lament. This is how The Network works. But then if I am upsetting third rate poets I must be doing something right. Parava illai.
@Javedakhtarjadu
Javed Akhtar
6 years
@manujosephsan If you had one tenth of Siddhart vardarajan’ integrity or guts you would have been a very honest and a brave person . Chalo koi baat nahin .
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Manu Joseph
4 years
Any scientist who is working on a vaccine will stop and ask why most of humanity should be saved in the first place.
@sanket
Sanket Upadhyay
4 years
This group of men & women must know that they are the society’s biggest enemy. Far from gratitude, doctors & health officials were attacked in Indore. The harshest of punishment is required. These people are a danger to India. #CoronaWarriors . Video shared by @Anurag_Dwary
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Manu Joseph
3 years
We have only one job: if we're lucky, we must take care of the unlucky; everything else is merely an argument about the best way. And the best way the young can serve humanity is by pursuing material success than the easy option of do-gooding. My latest:
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
1 year
The Arun Jaitley stadium is so ugly it would reassure 95 percent of Indians that the nation has not left them behind and become too posh.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
1.Pliable journalists promote propaganda for a fee; idealists do it for free. Eg: When they know Loya was not murdered, Rafale is not a scam but stay with the fable 2.The problem with many non-pliable journalists is, to borrow from Thatcher, their spine doesn’t reach their brain.
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Manu Joseph
6 years
As Thiruvalluvar said, "Once one Chaiwala bothers you, you will be bothered by all Chaiwalas"
@PChidambaram_IN
P. Chidambaram
6 years
At Chennai Airport Coffee Day I asked for tea. Offered hot water and tea bag, price Rs 135. Horrified, I declined. Was I right or wrong?
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Manu Joseph
5 years
I asked Rajdeep Sardesai if he believed that Narendra Modi was directly responsible for the post-Godhra riots, the way we reporters, including me when I was with Outlook, framed it.
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Manu Joseph
2 years
Why I want AAP to win Goa or Punjab If AAP gets control of a region whose statehood is not ambiguous, unlike Delhi, with police and whole bureaucracy under it, we will know some answers forever: What exactly happens when a government is not corrupt ?
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Manu Joseph
3 years
Not a coincidence that when Trump was president the respectable US media dismissed the theory that the Covid virus may have originated in a Chinese lab (it's a theory he would have loved.) Now that Trump is out, a proper journalistic consideration is given to the theory.
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Manu Joseph
2 years
Typically in India, the lower courts deny you basic freedoms and the higher courts have an exalted view of liberty and free speech as judicial patriarchs attempt to write great English prose.
@TheLeaflet_in
The Leaflet
2 years
In the Constitutional scheme of things, there is simply no such thing as too much noise or too much dissent. If there is one thing the Constitution does not contemplate, it is ‘the comfort of conformity or the tranquillity of the familiar’: Justice Patel
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Manu Joseph
6 years
Kerala is the proof that literacy and intelligence are two different things. Also that religion and god are two different ideas.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
Voters wouldn't have rewarded Modi if his reign were as bad as intellectuals claimed. Something about the Indian's new prosperity optimism employment patterns labour participation, Aadhaar’s humanitarian success was not captured by scholars. My column:
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
My recurring prayer: I hope the falling rupee doesn’t dissuade conscientious posh kids from pursuing humanities courses in the US and UK or study journalism at Columbia so that they can later educate us about the evils of inequality.
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Manu Joseph
2 years
In 1975 a Chinese official predicted an earthquake will strike by 8 pm, Feb 4. If the quake struck at 7 its magnitude would be 7; if it struck at 8 it'd be 8. Quake struck at 7:36. Magnitude was 7.3. It later emerged China had made 100s of predictions. One was bound to come true.
@ndtv
NDTV
2 years
"Mark My Words...": @RahulGandhi Prediction On Farm Laws Comes True
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Manu Joseph
5 years
Also true that "urban upper-castes' driving 'social revolutions' have little representation among slain naxals, depressed farmers, depressed dalits, and Indians who actually benefit from Aadhaar.
@thecaravanindia
The Caravan
5 years
Urban upper-castes driving Hindutva nationalism have little representation among Pulwama’s slain jawans. Ajaz Ashraf reports:
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Manu Joseph
3 years
#InSolidarityWithTheFarmer I visited the Sunday Farmer’s Market in Googaon in search of chakka jam along with other posh and morally superior people.
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Manu Joseph
5 years
He did not lose his father in a 'Hindu-Muslim' dispute. The thugs who are closely associated with the BJP killed his father, a cop, for being in the right place at the right time as cops should. No Muslim was involved.
@ANINewsUP
ANI UP/Uttarakhand
5 years
Abhishek, son of deceased policeman Subodh Kumar Singh: My father wanted me to be a good citizen who doesn't incite violence in society in the name of religion. Today my father lost his life in this Hindu-Muslim dispute, tomorrow whose father will lose his life? #Bulandshahr
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Manu Joseph
5 years
This is very romantic. These days wives say such things only when the husband gets caught in MeToo.
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Manu Joseph
5 years
I was waiting for this. I can now predict the 2019 elections as it is usually the opposite of of what Shri Yogendra Yadav says will happen.
@_YogendraYadav
Yogendra Yadav
5 years
I do elementary numbers to show why BJP is unlikely to touch 200 seats in 2019. Please do read before you applaud, disagree or abuse.
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Manu Joseph
6 years
A businessman recently told me that if you add fructose to your product instead of sucrose you can say ‘No Added Sugar’ on the package. Fructose is far more dangerous than sucrose. Maybe it’s time the government protects literates from their illiteracy.
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Manu Joseph
5 years
I didn’t know people hated masters in History so much until the new RBI chief’s name was announced. (They make it sound as though economics is some precise science and not a part of humanities).
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Manu Joseph
3 years
India already has the money to look good. Yet, it looks ugly, out of habit. At the street level, most nations look richer than they actually are; India in plain sight looks poorer than it actually is.
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Manu Joseph
3 years
Sir, what do you mean no one was consulted? Do you mean you weren't consulted? The bills have been discussed for more than two years; actually for decades. (The column though is about how the smug and the nervous will have opposing 'moral stands' which are in reality not moral.)
@PritishNandy
Pritish Nandy
3 years
@nairsameer @manujosephsan @livemint @sunilalagh @paritoshZero @rajcheerfull @AnantRangaswami @deespeak @Simi_Garewal @shunalishroff @_nirajshah @kavereeb Interesting? It’s predictable, boring and yet another way to obfuscate a simple issue: Can you enforce a law impacting the livelihood of millions without consent or consultation? In gender politics, we seek consent. In farm politics, the least one expects is consultation.
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Manu Joseph
5 years
My occasional reminder: Eventually in journalism, if you pay peanuts you will get activists.
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Manu Joseph
5 years
1. Nonsense that Indians are eating fewer biscuits to save money (when smartphones are selling faster than bad books.) 2. It's actually great Indians are eating less of this shit. 3. Hope Gujjus too stop buying Rs5 packs to give marathon runners and claim 'ah spirit of Bombay'.
@CNBCTV18News
CNBC-TV18
5 years
After @BritanniaIndLtd , India's largest biscuit maker Parle raises a red flag over falling sales & warns that nearly 10,000 jobs could be at risk. @ShereenBhan in discussion with @EdelweissFin 's Abneesh Roy & @NielsenIndia 's @SunilKhiani Nielsen. #ParleG
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
When Modi cancelled his most humane reform yet it was a triumph for rich north Indian farmers and the movement they handled. In the end the rich and the middle-class sabotaged reform for the poor. Same old story of India. My latest:
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
Hysteria is a dialect of Tamil.
@ani_digital
ANI Digital
5 years
Emotional Chidambaram appeals Rahul not to resign, says cadre in South will commit suicide Read @ANI Story |
Tweet media one
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
Will read this later.
@rajshamani
Raj Shamani
2 years
How to avoid procrastination: A Thread
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
Have you noticed that suddenly there are no more Aadhar-leak-hack-mishap stories ‘stumbled upon’ by Unpliable ‘journalists’.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
4 years
Convey to your black friends. There will be this argument: ‘Blacks squandered chances. Look how well Asians have done in America'. It has a response Asians there wont reveal, that those Asians are whites back home who got a headstart because papa had his knee on someone’s neck.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
I believe that unlike past Prime Ministers, Modi need not speak in English when he visits Tamil Nadu. The times have changed and Hindi won’t offend regular Tamilians, who are not acting or paid to get hysterical. Do the RESIDENTs of Tamil Nadu agree with me ?
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
Every time BJP does poorly, the NDTV stock shoots up.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
First we need a health minister who looks healthy.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
I am relieved that the affluent kids in my colony, including my daughter, have stopped singing ‘apna time aayega’
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
5 years
When a society is "polarized" it means one class of people does not have a monopoly anymore over mainstream ideas. The defamation of polarization is the parting abuse of intellectuals who have lost control over the transmission of ideas. My latest column:
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
2 years
The way people lament 'lack of debate' during the repeal of farm laws you'd think our parliament reverberates with great intellectual discussion every session.
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@manujosephsan
Manu Joseph
3 years
In India English words have their own unique meaning. For instance, 'Revert' means 'Respond' (Actually it means putting something back to its original state). In that way secularism was never godlessness. It means every god in every faith has an equal right to give you Covid.
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