Mallory O'Meara @malloryomeara Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

I need an app that connects you to someone who just finished the same book you did so you can talk about it.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Sure, that shirt is cute, but how well does the material clean your glasses?

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Looking for new glasses and found the greatest review of all time

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Happy birthday, Mary Shelley, the original spooky bitch 🖤

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

A friendly reminder. Audiobooks, graphic novels—they all count, baby.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

me, sobbing, a bottle of whiskey in each hand: please buy my books so I don’t have to make a TikTok, please, I’m begging you

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

The term “sexy librarian” is redundant.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making us think being a lady living alone with her cats was a bad thing.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Women are always worthy of your respect, folks. No matter how much clothing they've got on.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

To the old dude who saw my black lipstick and muttered “wouldn’t want to kiss her!” ... I’m very happy about that.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

We, as a nation, need to band together and demand bigger bathtubs.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

I have finally signed the contract for my next book: GIRLY DRINKS! I’m writing the history of women drinking and I’m having a blast. Cheers 💙

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever gotten to the part in a fantasy film where they need to go find someone in the magical creature market

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

23 days

Logged back into this godforsaken app because I knew there would be a Scott Wampler love fest happening, and seeing how loved he was is a comfort tonight. Here’s my last ever Twitter thread, and it’s about one of the dearest friends I’ve ever had.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

Excuse me, I’m dead now

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Can we bring back those old school book bondage belt thingies?

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

I don’t know who needs to hear this but stop reading that book if you don’t like it

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

I have lived in Southern California for almost 7 years and somehow I forget this happens every year

Americana at Brand Memes

@americanamemes

2 years

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

I don't know who needs to hear this, but stop doing free work.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

To the female horror creators, especially the marginalized ones, who are seeing things implode in the industry right now: do not fucking stop. Keeping writing, keep planning. You matter. Your stories matter, so goddamn much. We're going to keep fighting and eventually, we'll win.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Sorry I was late, my cat did something cute and I had to wait for 15 minutes with my camera open to see if she’d do it again.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

I love getting my monthly newsletter from the Satanic Temple. It's always like "Hail Satan! Here's an update on our campaign to raise money to buy tampons for unhoused people. And a recipe for vegan lasagna. Have a blasphemous day!"

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

I was in line for the bar at a wedding and heard a voice behind me ask, “Is that a Stardust tattoo on your back?” It was @neilhimself .

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

I don’t know who needs to hear this but clean your glasses

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

GIRLY DRINKS WON THE JAMES BEARD AWARD

James Beard Foundation

@beardfoundation

2 years

For Beverage without Recipes: Girly Drinks: A World History of Women and Alcohol by @malloryomeara #jbfa

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Gentle reminder that you can tell an author you loved their book without telling them that other people you know hated it 😘

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

The most romantic part of Valentine’s weekend was @Jeremy_Lambert finding me in stress tears because my biceps ripped open the dress I was going to wear to my event and saying “Babe, I know you’re stressed out.. but that was pretty cool.”

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

We’ve got (almost) all the book storage up in the new apartment 🥰

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

“Her clothes left nothing to the imagination!” Why would they need to? What are you imagining is under there? Horse legs? Tentacles?

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

THE NEW YORK TIMES LIKED MY BOOK! 😭

The Woman Behind the Creature From the Black Lagoon (Published 2019)

In “The Lady From the Black Lagoon,” Mallory O’Meara introduces us to Milicent Patrick, the Creature’s (uncredited) creator.

www.nytimes.com

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Lord, give me the confidence of a white dude asking you to be on his two-hour+ long podcast that has 10 listeners.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Alright, here goes. 2009: Tattooed high school drop out, anxious young lady trying to figure things out 2019: Still all those things, only I'm a bestselling author now. (And I figured out my eyebrows.)

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Along with patches from metal bands, I wish people wore denim vests covered with patches of their favorite book covers.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

So, LADY FROM THE BLACK LAGOON has been a #1 Amazon bestseller for over a MONTH and I can’t thank you all enough 💙😭

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

Well, it’s official 💫

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Sure, learning a dead language like Latin on Duolingo is useless.. until you all need me to chant from an ancient, cursed tome to banish a demon.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

My paperbacks are here and they are SO BEAUTIFUL 😭💙

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

the only good gender reveal party

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

Five spits for an enemy, Lilith 🧛🏻‍♀️ Happy Halloween from me and my little dolly. This will be the first time I’ve done a book event as a vampire. Join us soon (link below) for the GIRLY DRINKS virtual launch!

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

Here is a bitch who is done with the last draft of her book

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

People ask me why I’m not having kids, but why become a parent when I can build a candy empire and invite six unsuspecting children to compete for the right to uphold my legacy?

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever been wrapping Christmas presents and had the scissors catch the wrapping paper so that it glides along in one perfect cut?

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

✨Okay, folks. I am thrilled/terrified to announce that after Halloween, I’m going full time as a writer.✨

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

9 months

Still not seeing enough hype about this LESBIAN POWERLIFTING HOCKEY-PLAYING WEREWOLF MOVIE. It’s on Prime, folks, and it’s currently my favorite 2023 film

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Reminder during this holiday season that it is not the fault of retail workers if you waited too long to shop for gifts. Please be nice.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

My kink is canceled meetings.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

So, one of the things we noticed immediately about our new house is the alarming amount of ravens. Like, 20 at a time - horror movie raven numbers. We found out yesterday it’s because our neighbor bakes them cookies.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Is this what a teacher looks like? I have no idea! About to teach some MFA students about research!

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

Breaking out the good shit before 10am because I just sold book #4 ! ( Details to come, of course.)

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

Happy Monday to the man who sent my speaking agency this incredible email

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Cramps are so much easier to bear when I think of them as the furious screams of my foiled uterus. That's right bitch, another childless month!

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Not so gentle reminder: there isn’t a single justification for pirating someone’s art.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

I want a girl with a short skirt and a long bibliography

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Good morning folks, I am an author now

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

*deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NEON

@neonrated

4 years

Elisabeth Moss is Shirley Jackson. Everywhere June 5th.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Love choosing between having an anxiety attack when I’m working too much and having an anxiety attack when I think I’m not working enough 💫

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

Is this…. me in 40 years?

David C. Brock

@dcbrock

3 years

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

It’s 2019 and I’m honestly mad no one has made cloaks cool again.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

Ooooo, who is this stranger in my boudoir? Happy Halloween from your local Vampiric council co-leader and her regular human bartender.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

If you want to know what hell is, a drunk man at the bar wanted to talk to me about how much he loves Atlas Shrugged and make me listen to his band.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

I started this book tour in pleather and by god, I’ll end it the same way.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

TFW YOUR BOOK MADE IT ONTO THE SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BESTSELLER LIST (pic by @LMarieGi )

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

1 year

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever peeled the price sticker off a book in one piece

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

The only body-related change I hope to make in 2021 is to get vaccinated and then get a fucking bunch more tattoos.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

If you’re ever worried there isn’t an audience for your work, I saw a lady wearing a shirt that just said “SAND.”

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

And the big announcement is... here comes book number 2! That’s right folks! I’m writing the history of women drinking!

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Extremely unfair that I have to take care of myself every single day.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

GIRLY DRINKS HAS BEEN NOMINATED FOR A JAMES BEARD AWARD

James Beard Foundation

@beardfoundation

2 years

Congratulations to the 2022 #jbfa Media nominees! Check out the full list here:

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

1 year

Alright motherfuckers, I’m back, what’s new

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

When one woman ( @atrask on IG) read THE LADY FROM THE BLACK LAGOON and told her daughter that the Creature was designed by a woman, she immediately wanted to dress up like her.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Happy birthday to Shirley Jackson, the queen of horror, cats, cocktails and absolutely not giving a fuck. Cheers to you, you bad bitch 🖤 “I delight in what I fear.”

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

Everyone tells you how great your 30s are, but not how frustrating it is that you can’t go back in time and tell your 20s self how hot she is and that she needs to stop putting up with so much bullshit.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

I like a girl with a short skirt and a long TBR list

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

As we near the end of this hell-year, you don’t have to call something a “guilty pleasure” anymore. No matter what you read/listen to/watch, that shit got you through 2020. Embrace it.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Hey @Shudder - you’re really missing out on hiring Zena to be a horror host.

Real Queen of Horror

@LovelyZena

4 years

This week, I'm sharing my TOP Made-for-TV Horror Movies. I'm a huge fan of made-for-tv movies. 📺 Check out the full video:

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Totally floored, absolutely honored. THE LADY FROM THE BLACK LAGOON has been nominated for a Hugo! Holy crow!

Announcing the 2020 Hugo Award Finalists - Reactor

The finalists for the 2020 Hugo Awards, the Astounding Award for Best New Writer, the Lodestar Award for Best Young Adult book, and the 1945 Retrospective Hugos have been announced! You can read the...

reactormag.com

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Finally got to see the LA Times piece on THE LADY FROM THE BLACK LAGOON and I’m so happy I might explode

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

If you are thrilled about the resurgence of Brendan Fraser’s career, it’s a good idea to watch both seasons of Doom Patrol and see how fucking incredible he is as Cliff Steele

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

Let The Right One In (2008)

an angry opossum 🐀

@AnAngryOpossum

3 years

the baby must feed

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but when you get back to your hometown for the holidays, don’t fuck your ex.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

what is publishing if not tote-bags persevering

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Black Lodge bedroom is done!

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Am I the only one who sees KFC and thinks “Kentucky Fucking Christ”?

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

My book is finally out today! World, get ready to know who Milicent motherfuckin’ Patrick is.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Reminder: if you want to see more films by marginalized filmmakers or read more books by marginalized authors, you can just ... use Google and find them. They're making stuff. It might not be getting marketed to you.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Is this book I’m trying to read just not engaging or am I just consumed by dread over the dystopian nightmare I’m living through?

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

2 years

Hello, new author photo 🖤

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

So, @TheRealElvira ’s book is out today and lemme tell you, I’ve never ordered an audiobook so fast. SHE NARRATES IT

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

Getting ready to slowly re-emerge. Now that I’m fully vaxxed, about to go to (the outdoor seating area of) a restaurant for the first time since 3/20. I am so excited to order a cocktail, I could cry (I might cry)

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

A package finally arrived containing the most goth whiskey of all time

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Happy #InternationalWomensDay to #MilicentPatrick , the trailblazing artist who showed me that I could do it, too. That it was possible. And that I belonged.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

Apartment hunting and one place asked me to pay extra “cat rent” every month, so if you know anywhere my cats can apply for jobs, hit me up

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

4 years

Fancied up for tonight’s Locke and Key premier! Who’s excited for the show?

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

I’m 30 years old and still hesitant to buy a shirt from a band whose albums I haven’t *totally* memorized, just in case some fuckhead metal bro decides to quiz me about it

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

3 years

My new favorite found footage horror film

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

It’s time we face the facts: Godzilla must have a cloaca and therefore poops like a bird.

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Mallory O'Meara

@malloryomeara

5 years

These are just purse dump photos but for dudes that don't know how to unhook a bra

RobinsonOUZO

@sombrero_dog

5 years

Every day carry is my favourite subreddit because it's all schlubby IT guys who pack a glock and a flip knife to go work in a server room for 9 hours.