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Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION Profile
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION

@lgbtquisition

515
Followers
291
Following
439
Media
4,581
Statuses

Dad, cat herder, blind as a bat, etc In year 34 of my mid-life crisis. I identify as dead for tax purposes.

Joined June 2023
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
1 month
@banbadmen Good luck Billy boy! Remember, if hundreds of guys beat you, all you have to do is train harder!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@troonytoons Oh boy. You wouldn't wish this on your worst enemy.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@ilovepreserves "I'm priority" is in fact the official "transwoman" motto.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
1 month
@legaltweetz This is total twaddle. A man is a man no matter how his politics change, whether he wins the lottery or is bankrupt, whether he's raised in Nairobi, Tokyo, or Alice Springs. Being a man or a woman has nothing to do with society. We are not special mammals.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@RedMags60 When you're drunk, you think nobody notices you're drunk. When you're trooning, you think nobody notices you're trooning.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@Elcano6791 @troonytoons Places like Reddit (which remove sane/negative comments) give these guys the impression that they can swap their todger for a Taylor-Swift grade vagina as if by magic. It's presented as almost a certainty that they will be delighted with the results. And then they do it.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@AssignedMale "Teach kids to hate and destroy the only body they will ever have" is what you mean.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@ilovepreserves Of course these nutbags never wonder for a second where those uteruses would come from. Basically you lot, you women, will be walking spare parts for these kleptomaniacs. If they have their way.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@_Delilah_Jean One has to wonder if the surgeon has ever seen a human penis in real life. Why do these women want cartoonishly enormous willies? Is it an effort to be more "manly" than any real man or do they seriously think we're waddling around like Big John Holmes 24/7?
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@L__G__B "Yeah, I do 1000 sit ups a day. Honest!"
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@WildfireWhisper It's kind of sad that after 350,000 years of human struggles, ghastly deaths, wars, famines, moments of heroism and selflessness, this is the result. A man so boring, and so bored with his life he has to invent problems for everyone.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@HazelAppleyard_ Suddenly the days of "Crap, my piercing's gone septic!" look quaint and harmless.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
9 months
@RejektEvidence @OFLabour They just love calling everything "FAR RIGHT!" Normal (I know, a dirty word) is not "far right". Trans ideology is a corrosive, disastrous ideology which has no place in schools. Nobody has ever changed sex so why pretend it's a) possible or b) worth trying?
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
9 months
@sharrond62 To add insult to injury, any girl who dares complain about male intrusion into her sport is hammered with accusations of "transphobia".
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@KevlarKitten @TheFamousArtBR Trans people are always so disappointed when they find out that nobody, in fact, wants them dead.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@ReduxxMag "Cunningham was ultimately sentenced to 3 years in prison" What?! 3 years for a woman's life?!!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
10 months
@Martina One wretched side effect of trans ideology is how normal it has become for lies to be printed as truths. Newspapers, hospital guidelines, school texts, even dictionaries, are now packed with weird little lies which everyone knows are lies.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@BigBillMoon It's sad to see this guy who used to be a terrific comedian turn into a terrific tosser.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
9 months
@SVPhillimore "Here's a great quote from Judith Butler!" I'm guessing this is the first time this sentence has ever been uttered! She's the least quotable writer of all time.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
1 month
@troonytoons Translation: "I wish I could get laid. With anyone, really. Getting an erection would be awesome. Especially if I didn't immediately jizz in my pants due to the incredible thrill of being in the vicinity of an actual woman. Anyway. Playing Minecraft tonight. Like last night."
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@ReduxxMag Green party's original plan: Save planet. Green party's current plan: Become a fuggn laughing stock by staunchly defending the rights of deranged men who think they're women the moment they buy a cheap wig off Amazon.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
9 months
@siunanWTF71 If they get bored of those chants, here are some new ones: "Mother nature is the pits! She gave me balls instead of tits!" "When I was born I got a shock: Between my legs, a tiny -" Oh, never mind!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@troonytoons Hey ladies, any time you want to talk about your most intimate body parts, feel free to talk to me, a bloke. I have completely different anatomy and no experience of giving birth or anything like that but I've seen several vaginas in various "art" films.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@KailynPomo @TTExulansic Gosh, you're right. It's almost as daft as using the term "trans women" for people who are not women.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@_Delilah_Jean I gave it my best shot:
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@Morbidful Cramped, but a flat that large would go for millions in London!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@_CryMiaRiver I'm trying to think of a child who's been so overstuffed with ridiculous, unrealistic expectations. Everyone with half a brain can see this kid is destined for decades of disappointment.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
9 months
@sharrond62 "Free Sarah Jane!" Their willingness to be associated with a convicted torturer is quite bewildering. He's not doing their team any favours in the PR department. (But then, neither are they)
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@L__G__B No means no! Unless you're trans, in which case you can accuse the object of your desire of having all sorts of moral failings including transphobia, bigotry and fascism. Crimes which can only be atoned for with oral sex.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
2 months
@Stephen_Fremel The questions should be: Should men who have raped women have the option of doing time in women's prisons? The answer, I am sure, would be "no".
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
8 months
@MalesInDisguise My first day training as an astronaut for Nasa, someone called me sir despite wearing what is obviously a very female perfume. Naturally, I quit. When they've reeducated themselves they know where to find me - at the local Starbucks were I am now shift manager.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@HazelAppleyard_ Incredible Trans Facts: If a woman borrows her husband's trousers, she instantly becomes a man and they are a homosexual couple until she removes those magical man trousers. While she is wearing his trousers pregnancy becomes an impossibility.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@salltweets I bet you a fiver the gents on Reddit/mtf will soon be claiming to have had strokes with all the female symptoms...
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@L__G__B I have conclusive proof that Kurt Cobain wasn't trans: 1. He was talented 2. He was likable
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@biologycounts "By carefully selecting the kind of clothes that ordinary women wear on a cold March day, "transwomen" simply blend in and go unnoticed by all but the most determined genital inspectors..."
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@GenX_Lesbian This is what happens when heterosexuality is considered uncool and oppressive.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
8 months
@MalesInDisguise But surely according to Trans Science estrogen will have made him grow ovaries, so when his balls start working again he can in fact get himself pregnant? At least that's what I saw on Reddit.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@andrewdoyle_com @Grindr An app that tricks people into encounters they don't want isn't really a dating app!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@HazelAppleyard_ My daughter borrowed one of my shirts! Obviously this means she's trans. From now on I'm calling her Basil. How soon can we get her stuffed with testosterone? Could we have her mutilated before the weekend? It would be so cool if she can go to school on Monday looking like a boy.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@ReduxxMag Every single civilisation and primitive tribe has a word for "Man" and another word for "Woman". Except Canada? How did that happen?
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@genderisharmful Is this guy capable of talking about anything other than himself?
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@SammiePressdee "Hi, I'm Hannah Gadsby, so jokes will be few and far between. To make me look good, here's some weirdos I met at Pride recently. They're not funny either. But if you don't laugh it means you're on the wrong side of history and are probably planning genocide. Enjoy!"
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@salltweets Someone should make some "Be kind or I will eat your brain with a spoon" T shirts... and sell them on Etsy!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@HazelAppleyard_ Good plot twist, though. I expected they'd all get to their feet and give the kid a standing ovation. "Best birthday ever!" said Auntie, wiping a tear of joy from her cheek. "Now, here's $5 for your neovagina fund."
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@HazelAppleyard_ Tis but a flesh wound that cost me $35,000 but heck it was worth it cos I now have a haggis between my legs which makes me so much more attractive than I was before.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@JustMisogyny "With any luck, no-one will have taken screenshots!"
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@AssignedMale "fight for the right to exist" Holy crap, if you guys could stop lying for one minute that would be great. But we know lies and selfishness are all you have so, carry on.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@AidanCTweets If someone tries to steal your car, you don't actually have to explain why you need that car. It should be obvious to everyone who is being wronged in this situation.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@TheFamousArtBR In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And an annoying little voice cried in the dark, "That's transphobic!"
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@HazelAppleyard_ Expectation... reality
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@KevinaFaga "She's a liar and a bigot!" Wow, these guys are tossers sometimes.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@HazelAppleyard_ Drunk bloke gets a stiffy during a cab ride and thinks it's his "inner woman literally trying to break out" The word "re-tard" is unavoidable, I'm afraid.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@TheFamousArtBR I spent five minutes at the University of Reddit and learned all kinds of amazing things. Did you know, every time I put plates into the dishwasher I turn into a woman?
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@TransHomophobes This poor kid has had pieces of her body removed in the belief that she can magically become someone else. We really need to try to figure out why she felt the urge to escape herself rather than pretending such an escape is ever possible.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@Paul_Ilett @CharlotteEmmaUK Do you think putting male rapists in women's prisons is ethical? Because it sounds like the kind of thing you support.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@TheFamousArtBR To deprive a woman of her face, her looks, her youth, and to make her difficult to look at. It's hard to think of a more spiteful thing a man could do. Prison for eternity is all I can think of.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
9 months
@rcam_tv @ReduxxMag Luckily, experts say, no criminal would ever think of pretending to be a woman in order to do time in a women's prison!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
10 months
@ReduxxMag Sorry, but the law can't compel our eyes not to see a chunky bloke in a dress if they're looking at a chunky bloke in a dress.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@ilovepreserves Yeah no problem, anyone can get pregnant simply by identifying as preggers. In fact you can be both mum and dad at the same time. TRANS SCIENCE FACTS!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@L__G__B How did he know the girl in the bank was a girl? I mean that seems like an outrageous assumption. Especially if you're a big ugly fella who complains about being clocked as a big ugly fella.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@AGallagherAlly @mantistobb And you seem determined to make things even more unsafe for women. Very strange.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@MxVivianWulf Nothing wrecks families quicker than a middle aged man deciding he's a woman... Of course they blame their wives and not themselves. The wives are expected, after years of marriage & raising kids, to pretend to be lesbians. Tragic comedy.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
10 months
@ReduxxMag @genderisharmful "Hi, I'd really like to visit your school and meet some cute little kiddies." "Sorry, we have to protect them from strangers." "But I wear nappies and have toys and teddies and stuff." "In that case, how about Thursday?"
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@ilovepreserves Why don't they just wear enormous hairy merkins to disguise their little willies? Maybe itchy but it's almost certainly going to be less uncomfortable than cramming one's nuts back into the body.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@HazelAppleyard_ "I feel like I'm going to be alone forever" The damn doctors never tell these people that if they are having a hard time finding love, transitioning will slash their chances by orders of magnitude. The only thing transing guarantees is additional loneliness.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
9 months
@Serena_Partrick Subtext: I got absolutely shitfaced, I made a fool of myself, we got thrown out and now I feel like a pig shat in my head.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
8 months
@Serena_Partrick "You're gonna presume my genitalia! Is that what you're saying?!" Uh, yeah! Every fleeting human encounter involves instantaneous, subconscious assessments - male, female, safe, dangerous, mad, sane. Even when driving we note such things. It's a joke to pretend we're sexless.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@salltweets The amazing thing is, nobody - no prison authority, no lawmakers - ever asked female inmates how they feel about having male rapists and killers dumped in their midst. The feelings of 1 man are clearly more prized than those of 100s of women.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@Serena_Partrick It would be interesting to see how he'd react if his wife decided to do the same thing to him. "So I'll be getting these removed, and Dr Jugsoff says they can make me a beautiful schlong using just a yard or two of my leg flesh." "Can we talk about this for a minute, hon?"
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@HazelAppleyard_ "They gave me mountains of opioids and I feel friggin fantastic!"
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
2 months
@JustMisogyny Presumably the babies got a good ticking off for misgendering their mother by thoughtlessly using her womb to gestate in.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@ilovepreserves Looks like third place in a Kurt Cobain lookalike contest
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@AidanTheJester @LJMU You guys can't stop milking this poor kid's death can you.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
8 months
@KimLoaded @Nigel83208896 @Serena_Partrick If Daniel Craig demanded to be called James Bond 24/7, carried a Walther PPK everywhere, and insisted he worked for the British Secret Service - then everyone would think he was mental.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@Psychgirl211 They've started dropping the "trans" part and calling themselves "women". Some even double down on the deception by adding "Cis" - knowing this was a prefix woman ever asked for, but which was intended to differentiate imaginary and real women. Lies are everything to these guys.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@MrsKrabapple Says everything about the man that he's practically orgasming at the thought of reporting women to the police. Anonymously. "Sehr gut, Herr Sparkles, the Gestapo thanks you for your good work."
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@Serena_Partrick Curious to see what would happen if someone bought her a copy of Mein Kampf...
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@MotherOfDogsGB Lorena Bobbitt had one for a few minutes before she threw it out the car window. FACT!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@Coomer_Ls It's just depressing as hell that a) violent porn is produced and distributed legally and b) people actually watch it. Every serial killer starts out by getting a buzz from mixing sexual arousal with harm. Oh the fuggn internet. What have we done.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@mimmymum And getting a haircut is just the same as having a lobotomy, am I right?
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
1 month
@L__G__B "In some cases, it is able to grow a prostate" Sounds like another Troonology PhD from the University of Reddit!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
7 months
@Vadna @HazelAppleyard_ Keeping pepper spray next to the lube is just asking for trouble. Trans or not.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
"r/mypartneristrans" is all about men destroying their families by transing mid-marriage. A few exceptions, but mostly it's dads finding "their true selves" and not giving a fuck about anyone else, least of all their kids. Surely this is child abuse:
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@WRN_Manchester @guardian His focus on the informal Park Run ("You can do Parkrun on a mobility scooter if you want") is intended to cast women as petty and mean-spirited, and to distract readers from male trespass into every corner of women's sport, from high-school level to Olympic.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@JournalistJill "OK, Bruce, let's see if we can ruin the company before the weekend." "Can't be done, Bruce!" "Want a bet, Bruce?"
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@monsalore It's a miracle!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
8 months
@troonytoons Of course he's going to wait until after they're married. In fact he'll probably wait until they've got kids, when he'll break the news that he wants to be called "mum" as well. Then he'll wonder what he did wrong when she moves out, taking the kids with her, a week later.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
9 months
@Serena_Partrick It's remarkable how those who almost certainly think they're super-easy-going and ultra-tolerant are utterly unable to function as normal human beings the moment they encounter an opinion they don't like.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@FunkGodArtist Randomly redefining words and thinking you're the smart one because everyone else is confused is a weird hobby!
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
5 months
@L__G__B Things you need to be reminded of: dentist appointments, speeding tickets to pay, start and end of school holidays. Things you don't need to be reminded of: your own sex.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@biologycounts Some vaguely related kid who I see once a year or so is transing from awkward nerd to awkward nerd in a dress. I don't want to be an assole, nor do I want to play pretend, so I refer to him by his new name (because no-one calls Elton John Dwight) and avoid all pronouns.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@L__G__B Lesbian not interested in troon sausage = transphobic! Troon not interested in troon sausage = "valid genital preference".
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
3 months
@NetflixIsAJoke Comedy dysphoria is when you identify as funny but everything about you says otherwise.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@marycatedelvey "I've always noticed that female spectrum butts and male spectrum butts smell different" Stealing this for the opening line of my autobiography.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@windupgemma Meanwhile, on Reddit...
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
4 months
@HazelAppleyard_ As a dedicated anti-fascist, I'm campaigning for legislation that will ban all train timetables, making it impossible for trains to run on time. Comrades, brothers and sisters, the inconvenience will be worth it! Besides, I drive a car.
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@lgbtquisition
Nobody expects the LGBTQUISITION
6 months
@Toby_1979 It would be kinder for a man to nip out for a pack of cigarettes and never come home than to do this to his family.
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