Kris Jenkins (@krisajenkins@mastodon.social) @krisajenkins Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

Today I learned that raspberries make great Lego Afros.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

The idea that you can’t be a great software engineer without a CS degree is nonsense. The idea that there’s no value in spending three years studying the fundamentals of our field is also nonsense.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

Okay Washington Post, you got it. 👍

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

4 years

Q. What are Story Points? A. Story Points are a way of making developers deliver faster by asking them for a random number, and then saying, “That seems a little high,” until they say a smaller number.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

Reminder: ‘Going for a walk’ is a pro debugging technique.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

I have a stack. All I need now is a good acronym... 🤔

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

Maybe instead of, "doing agile," we should ask, "where's your feedback loop?" Do you have a feedback loop at all? Is it fast? Is it simple? And does it actually involve end-users?

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

This is your return type: Int This is your return type on microservices: IO (Logger (Either HttpError Int)) Microservices: Know the risks.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

Blog Post: What is Functional Programming? (Hint: It's not map, filter and reduce.)

What Is Functional Programming?

The personal blog of Kris Jenkins, geek.

blog.jenkster.com

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

Elm: Wait, I can't define my own Ord instance? PureScript: Wait, I have to define my own Ord instance? JavaScript: 100 > "3" 😂

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

I think this new feature in #PostgreSQL 11 is going to be great for enterprise environments.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

Bad news for vi fans.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

In Haskell, you can feel like an amateur but it still works. In JavaScript you can feel like an expert but it still breaks.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

4 years

Choose a language where refactoring is easy enough to be enjoyable, or this will happen to you.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

3 years

Duplication is cheaper than the wrong abstraction, it's true. The right abstraction is still cheaper than both of those. Sometimes it's so much cheaper I've seen people build entire businesses from one insight. Duplicate where appropriate but don't stop hunting for the pattern.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

9 years

Some programming languages are good *if* you're disciplined. This is backwards. Computers are good at discipline, humans are not.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 months

Zig might be the most ambitious language we’ve looked at on Developer Voices - it’s trying to replace C, compete with LLVM and be the foundation of the whole compilation story. It’s a feast for language fans… 🎧 📺

What's Zig got that C, Rust and Go don't have? (with Loris Cro)

Zig is a programming language that’s attempting to become “the new C” - the language of choice for low-level systems programming and embedded hardware. Going...

www.youtube.com

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

OH: "They're doing some impressive ETL stuff." "What's 'ETL'?" "Extract, transform, load. It's the Enterprise name for foldM."

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

4 years

The year is 2098. A mother waves to her son as he enters the playground. "Have a good day!" she calls. "Don't forget to like and subscribe!" No-one remembers the origin of this phrase. It's just something your parents always said when people left.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

#TIL : July (the seventh month) is an hour behind July (the zero-seventh month). In #JavaScript -land at least.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

For some Friday afternoon fun, here’s a Raycaster written in @elmlang with @derkyjadex :

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

JavaScript's Object.freeze() only freezes top-level properties. In which case it might be better named Object.frosting().

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

It’s quite funny that the type: String -> String …is actually more vague than: a -> a

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

Don’t get too attached to any one programming language. Find ones you love and love ‘em, but remember they exist to serve, not define you.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

It’s finally happened: A publisher has approached me asking if I want to write a course on Jenkins. Bravo. 10/10 for research effort. 👏👏👏

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

Sorry. I couldn't resist.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

Here’s my @oredev talk about #PureScript , and the big ideas it embodies. Ideas I hope make it into mainstream programming soon. But you don’t need to wait - you can have it all today. 😎

Kris Jenkins - PureScript: Tomorrow's JavaScript Today | Øredev 2017

It's almost impossible to imagine the web without JavaScript. And as professional web developers, it's almost heresy to do so. But despite 20 years of…

vimeo.com

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

Okay, here's the true difference: Junior developer: Has keyboard-shaped bruises on their forehead. Senior developer: Has keyboard-shaped calluses on their forehead.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

2 years

I wish Rust had type holes. Heck, I wish every language had type holes.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

2 years

JavaScript Maps in a nutshell: Me: Save this under the key `[1,2]`. JavaScript: Done. Me: What's under the key `[1,2]`? JavaScript: Nothing. Never seen that key before in my life. 🤦‍♂️

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

It looks like they’re roaring, but they’re actually all laughing because their day rate is 2k and they can’t be fired.

Kenneth Auchenberg 🛠

@auchenberg

6 years

The last existing team of COBOL developers 😂 Source: Unknown

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

Any TDD system with 100% coverage contains an ad hoc, informally-specified, bug-ridden, slow implementation of a type checker.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

This I promise you: Hiring people to maintain an Elm or PureScript app is not your biggest problem. Your biggest problem is the amount of maintenance your JavaScript app needs.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

Blog post: How @elmlang Slays a UI Antipattern:

How Elm Slays a UI Antipattern

The personal blog of Kris Jenkins, geek.

blog.jenkster.com

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

9 years

Spotify API docs: "The field filter tag:hipster can be used in album searches to retrieve only albums with the lowest 10% popularity."

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

Shout to anyone still on their first-to-sixth programming languages. 😎 #firstsevenlanguages

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

I saw the best minds of my generation gradually moving towards Haskell.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

I’ve dealt with massive changes to types, and those were good mornings. I’ve dealt with massive changes to tests, and those were bad weeks.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

3 years

Today's spicy open-source take: the people who give you their work for free don't owe you a good goddamn thing. If you're dependent on their effort, pay their rent, pay their bills, buy them some of that free time you want a slice of. *Then* you can start making demands.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

This is about 20% of frontend programming.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

Bob Martin hates him! Local man gets 100% test coverage of null pointer exceptions for FREE!

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

I am writing a site in Elm. It has a contact page. I am using a lens library. I have just defined `contactLens`. /exits, stage right.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

4 years

Refactor often. Always leave code better than you found it. Good software is made of a few big improvements and a thousand small ones.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

9 years

A programmer has a problem and thinks, "I know, I'll use microservices!" Now they have a pr o b l em.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

1 month

Which languages have first-class support for creating finite state machines? 🤔

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

9 years

Gonna write a "Should I Use MongoDB?" app that asks you 10 questions about your needs then loses all your answers. #bitingsatire

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

3 months

I'm thrilled to be able to say this: This week I'm joined by @simonpj0 , who has to be one of the smartest, nicest and most infectiously-enthusiastic people in the whole of computing. 📺

Exploring Verse, Haskell, Language Design and Teaching (with Simon...

This week we talk to Simon Peyton Jones, a veteran language designer and researcher, and key figure in the development of Haskell. Haskell. Simon has made co...

www.youtube.com

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

9 years

You are in a room. There is tea here. > DRINK TEA You win. Play again? > Y

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

3 months

What tricks are databases pulling to parallelize billion-row queries and answer them in seconds? Join me & #DuckDB co-creator (& DB professor) Hannes Mühleisen for a delightful journey beyond the query planner. 🎧 📺

Implementing Hardware-Friendly Databases (with DuckDB co-creator,...

SQLite could do with a little competition, so when I invited the co-creator of DuckDB in to talk, I thought we'd be discussing the perils of trying to build ...

www.youtube.com

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

1 year

I'm happy to say I've just been promoted at Confluent. I'm now a Staff Developer Advocate. I asked if I could be a Broadsword Developer Advocate instead, but they said a mage class can't be trusted with melee weapons, so Staff it is. 😊

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

“the most important change to Java 8 is the new support for lambda expressions, which puts Java squarely at the forefront of FP” Nope.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

Programming ideas that need to die, episode #43 : If an open source project comes from Google it is *automatically* good. It may be good. It may be bad. The G stamped on the side doesn't get it a free pass.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

I have a pet theory that the worse the language, the more that language's community will champion TDD.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

My wife thinks I kindly make her a cup of tea without asking. Actually, game theory tells me my maximum downside is having two cups of tea.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

Protip: Today is Unsubscribing Friday, when every retailer you’ve ever signed up to will email you an unsubscribe link. 😉

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

Today in "JavaScript is a Tire Fire":

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

3 years

You're a smart programmer. You're used to dealing with ambiguous specifications. Try my son's homework...

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

It’s finally happened: I got an out-of-the-blue email from someone assuming I could fix their Jenkins setup. I’m amazed it took this long.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

9 years

It is the future. Tiny robots, small enough to repair a human cell, teem through your body in their trillions, throwing runtime exceptions.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

Updating a largish project to @elmlang 0.17. 79 files changed 643 insertions(+) 829 deletions(-) And when it recompiled, it worked. 😎

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

Kids! Are your parents sending secret messages about parenting? Know the signs: brb - I'm so tired. lmao - I'm so tired. rofl - I'm so tired. fml - I'm so tired. yolo - I'm so tired. lol - Please let me sleep.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

Data modelling is 50% of what we do. Unless you ignore it. In which case, coping with bad data models is 813% of what we do.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

He’s making a list… (Okay, so probably a Lisp.) He’s checking it twice. (So it’s not a pure function. I’m guess Santa’s using elisp.)

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

Anakin: I'm not afraid. Yoda: You will be. (Yoda commits a function that takes 8 String arguments.)

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

New #Brexit plan: 1. We ask to extend A50 by 1 week. No more. 2. On the 29th March we reaffirm our intention to leave. 3. On April 1st we shout, "APRIL FOOL!" really loud. Brexit is cancelled. UK's place in comedy history is reaffirmed. The rest of Europe says, "Ya got me!" 😁

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

OH: “Uncle Bob is the Donald Trump of the software industry.”

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

1 year

This is the single most offensive thing a company has ever done to me. Confluent have just published a podcast congratulating themselves on how great their episodes have been over the past year & I’ve been totally erased. It’s as though I never existed. Cheap shot CFLT. 😞

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

Here's my talk on @elmlang , and how it can solve your frontend problems: Thanks to @Functionalworks for posting!

LDN Functionals #2 Kris Jenkins : Elm

The second talk delivered at the second London Functional Programmers meetup, which is for sharing and learning about functional languages / topics. To go to...

www.youtube.com

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

4 months

Well this is worth a little fanfare— #Zig is first episode of Developer Voices to go through 100k plays. 🥳 Thanks again Loris Cro - you made it a great episode. ❤️ ICYMI, you can viewCount++ (and learn about a very interesting language) here: 😁

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

10 years

How beginners see #Haskell 's error messages: http://t.co/MmnICQtwbF

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

My daughter asked for help with the last two words of her homework. She’s only 5, but I swear she’s trolling me...

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

Ah, but I'd rather work with badly-written Elm than typically-written JavaScript. Some languages help you refactor a system incrementally, no matter what state it starts in, while some simply don't care if you fail.

Martin Fowler

@martinfowler

6 years

I believe that the principles of good programming are more important than what language we code in. I'd rather work with well-written JavaScript than badly-written Smalltalk.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

#HaskellX . Anyone who asks “Should we?” will be shown the door. 😄

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

If you actually run your Haskell programs, you’re doing it wrong. Real Haskell code is just one huge Lens, to be held up to the light and admired.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

An interesting thing we still don’t know about programming: how long can someone stay sharp? Is programming like footballing, where you’re past your prime at 30; or like jazz, where most don’t hit their stride ‘til 50? As always, my money’s on jazz. 😎

Channing Walton

@channingwalton

6 years

I just turned 50. I’ve been programming for about 38 years, since starting with a ZX81, Spectrum, and BBC Micro. That puts me in a very tiny minority, given the average length of experience with programming is currently around 6 years if the last poll I read is to be believed.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

“Learning Elm has made me a better JavaScript programmer.” - My brother-in-law, whom I badgered about FP for nearly two years.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

Wanted: Builder, to extend our kitchen. Culture fit essential. Must value our vision more than money. We have ping pong & snacks.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

1 year

Today I'm launching a new podcast looking at the future of software by talking directly to the devs who are trying to get us there. We kick off with London's hippest new language designer, Louis Pilfold, the creator of Gleam. 🎧 📺

Is Gleam your next programming language? (with Louis Pilfold)

Louis Pilfold joins us to talk about Gleam, a new language that runs on Erlang's BEAM. In creating Gleam, Louis has tried to bring a new level of developer-f...

www.youtube.com

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

On $CURRENT_PROJECT we have a mechanism that publishes the frontend state to a gist and gives you the gist ID. Bug reports are coming in with a hash that lets you restore the tester's state. It is absolutely glorious. 😎

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

@smdiehl 's description of JavaScript has rapidly become my favourite.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

3 years

`jq` is up there with `sed` and `awk` as tools that are essential, powerful, and ever so slightly bonkers.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

I've been using Windows as a dev environment for a few months now, and I stand by every bad word I ever said about it. 😜

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

3 years

Why did no-one tell me that haskell-language-server had gotten this good?!?

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

"Group X are genetically superior." By some startling, unfathomable, astronomical coincidence, the author was a member of group X.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's an infinite list stored in finite memory, So call me lazily.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

1 month

I love the ideas in #Erlang , but I’ve never quite gelled with the language. So when I heard someone was porting the runtime to #OCaml , my ears pricked up. Leandro Ostera joins me this week to explain how he's borrowing BEAM's best bits. 😅 📺

Taking Erlang to OCaml 5 (with Leandro Ostera)

Erlang wears three hats - it’s a language, it’s a platform, and it’s an approach to making software run reliably once it’s in production. Those last two are ...

www.youtube.com

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

I started writing a code comment explaining why I was using `unsafePartial` in some PureScript code and now I'm not using `unsafePartial` anymore. 😊

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

Q1. What’s your least-favourite monad? Q2. Under what circumstances would it become your favourite?

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

The PureScript Prelude! My beauty! My love! I say to the PureScript Prelude, "Thou art so elegant, so graceful, so balanced. I shall compose odes in your honour!" And she whispers back to me, "Then, my love, your odes are semigroupoid."

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

6 years

Exhaustive pattern match checking is such a wonderful thing. It's one of those rare things where you feel like the programming language is on your side. ❤️

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

9 years

Haskell, Elm, Linux, PostgreSQL. I would have thought HELP has a fair claim on, "the world's most advanced development stack."

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

5 years

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Doing *almost* the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is just normal debugging.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

Started reading Orwell's 1984. So far it's mostly a warning against using update-in-place databases for government records.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

The reason monads are hard to understand is, unlike the rest of computer science, our ancestors didn't evolve to hunt and gather them.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

I'm sorry npm. I was too hard on you. I can see that now. I'm running maven and I can see that I was too hard on you now. I'm sorry.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

The @elmlang badges I had made are here & they look fab! Won't be going to LambdaConf, but they'll find a home...

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

Doing some type-level ASCII art. (I think these should be officially known as “Gonzalez Diagrams” after @GabrielG439 .)

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

8 years

The story so far: Stressed client. Tight deadline. Rush job. @elmlang . Early delivery. Happy client. Clean codebase. Proud me.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

4 years

How to Haskell: 1. This isn't working. 2. Add in type annotations. 3. It’s working! 4. Delete the type annotations. You must take your secrets to the grave.

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Kris Jenkins (@[email protected])

@krisajenkins

7 years

The radio today said that the #DressLikeAWoman thread had a woman in an astronaut costume. It wasn't a costume. She is a FUCKING ASTRONAUT!

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